Never Leave Yourself Again
Nothing feels better than being rested in yourself. In fact I’d venture to say that this is what we all desire. To be home inside of ourselves and never leave ourselves again. Being in eternal unity with our purest self, absent of anything illusionary or false. No pretending. No fronts. No, stretched beyond ourselves, doing. No appeasing. No perceiving lack of anything. Only energized, alive, rested presence. Some might call this being in their heart, others might call it the ground of being, being centered, inner stability, lived unification with all that there is, or knowing one’s self. Regardless of the words that you might use to describe it, the essence is the same for all because all expressions have the same essence.
So many things pull us out of ourselves and into this made up world of stuff and appearances. In fact as I’ve written many, many times before most of us don’t even realize that we are completely fused/identified with the appearances of what is rather than with the essence of ourselves. Some people, probably many people, have never even touched their essence during this incarnation in their human body as the focus most are taught is on the outer world rather than the inner world. There is a combination of intense desire, seeking and grace that allows us to begin to know the world beyond the illusion of forms and appearances that presents itself to our physical senses.
A key piece in never leaving yourself again is the recognition of when you do leave. If you are not aware of your leaving, of your disconnection from yourself, then you have no choice in the matter. You simply must remain disconnected until something or someone can mirror back to you that you are not at home inside of yourself. The other option is to cultivate the skills and practice of self-awareness. This is simply the practice of pausing, quieting down and paying attention to yourself. Inquiring as to what and why you are doing, saying, thinking or feeling whatever it is that you are. So often we aren’t noticing ourselves. We are just behaving and responding to scripts that we’ve learned. In this way we are on automatic pilot, but we can put ourselves back into manual mode at any time. It simply takes our focused attention and will to do so.
Active participation while inwardly rested
How do we stay in when so much pulls us out? How do we still interact with the world of appearances while being self-rested? The first thing that absolutely must be “done” or committed to is that you must prioritize staying inside of yourself (staying in self-connection), over everything else. I mean everything. More important than any preference, distraction or any other desire that you may feel that you have for anything. This is so radical for most people that they simply won’t do it. Instead they will pick and choose what it is that they are willing to stay rested inside of themselves for and then wonder why they don’t have sustainable, eternal awakening, bliss or effortless being and flow. It is because they are allowing other desires and preferences to be in the number one spot.
So what are these other desires that take preference over staying rested in yourself? They are things like the need to feel loved, be important, have value, feel safe and secure, have people like you, be recognized or seen, feel accomplished, be validated and the list goes on. The external forms that these desires end up taking are different for everyone. They might come though relationships, family, friends, careers, house, cars, position or status where we attempt to get these needs/desires met in the physical. Yet all of this is like trying to enter our inner house through the sideways back door rather than coming right inside. Any time we externalize a need, or project it onto the physical, thinking that somehow the attainment of it in the physical will give us that which we desire, we are gone, disconnected from our essence. In every single one of these examples or scenarios we are perceiving some type of inner lack and attempting to get in met out there somewhere because here in our present experience we feel it missing.
One of the best practices that I’ve discovered in entering my inner house directly rather than sideways or from the back is by setting my internal space to not want or need anything from anyone or anything. This practice will allow you to see where you are attached to people, outcomes or things in order to get something or fill a void inside of yourself where you perceive lack. It will help you see when you leave that rested place of self-connection and go out towards something in the land of appearances to get your preferences, desires or needs met. It is really only once you let go of getting something (connection, love, validation, security, etc.) from “out there” that you can know what it is to actively participate while being inwardly connected and rested.
Action and doing naturally emerges from this place of self-connection. Rather than the mental navigation and planning you are in touch with the natural rhythms and impulses to move and do. In this way you are honoring that which is present rather than trying to impose your personal will on it. This is true love. Again what is ultimately required is to make self-connection, or the choice to stay, as your #1 priority. The truth is that you can never actually leave yourself. Its impossible. You can however create the story and therefore lived experiential reality of disconnection. Your cultivation of re-prioritizing all your desires into just one, will set you on your path to true freedom and unity, rested in the source of all as yourself.
Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado