END OF CONTROL
Finding freedom through acceptance
The seeds of control and manipulation run deep inside of us. They are often subtle, elusive and out of our own sight, yet this does not make them any less present. The attempts we make to control ourselves, control others, control circumstances, control emotions, control thoughts and control sensations is endless. The way we feel when we aren’t in control or we don’t know what is going to happen next is the paradox of terrified freedom. Oh how we hunger to feel free and yet the terror of freedom with its constant present moment to moment unfolding and no thing being certain in the future, keeps us locked inside of our self-made prison.
To state the blatantly obvious, control runs contrary to freedom. Anything we attempt to control physically, or even just inside of our minds, impinges on the freedom of that which we are attempting to manipulate. Now if the thing/person that we are attempting to control already knows its inner state of freedom than our attempts will be fruitless, as that which knows it’s already free cannot be controlled, coerced or led to believe other. Its free will is known and what’s known cannot be unknown. However if that which we attempt to control is not aware of its free will then it is easily manipulated. This is why its easier to manipulate a piece of wood, which does not yet know its free will, then say a human being that is more aware of itself and that it has some level of free will. I am obviously speaking from the perspective that everything is alive and conscious in the universe and all is on a path of waking up more and more to its fully conscious and free state.
I want to bring into the mix here the topic of structures and organizational frameworks that create personal and societal rules of engagement. Many people may feel that structures or organizational frameworks of any kind impinge on their freedom. This may show up as simply as having resistance to creating a daily schedule for yourself, or being in a committed relationship with one other person, or even having a single job that you do. These containers may, on the surface, appear to impinge on your freedom. The same can be said about larger systems and structures that make up our shared collective experience. The way that I see it is that structures inherent in and of themselves do not limit freedom. In fact structures are needed to support freedom and create organization within the creative process. However when structures are infused with control, rigidity and manipulation, and do not support the awakening to free will, then they will feel limiting rather than freedom enhancing. The key is the recognition of the consciousness of one’s self inside of or in relationship to the structure. Does the consciousness know its power and feel that its in choice and can decide for itself at any time, or does it not know its power and therefore feels victimized by the container that is either self-made or collective made. Through the recognition and knowing that you are always in charge you can come to appreciate and even love the support of structures. They are simply learning tools that help bring creative impulses into organized beauty.
NON-SELECTIVE ACCEPTANCE
Freeing all experience
Now that we have those basics covered let’s come back to the seeds of control inside of your own mind. There are really two basic paths that you can take in any moment. One is to control self/other/experience and the other is to accept self/other/experience. Depending on what you choose you will get a very different experience of life. I invite you to try to not think of it in terms of positive and negative, but instead of cultivating what it is that you truly desire. Feel into control and feel into acceptance. Decide which feels better to you. There is not a right/wrong here, but only that which you truly desire. It is different for each person and there is learning in both choices. I would say for the vast majority of people, particularly if you’ve found and are reading this article, acceptance feels better to you. From my current level of understanding, at the higher levels of awareness all control must move into acceptance, so in some ways it may be easier to choose acceptance now rather than postponing it for later. However I want to emphasize it is each beings choice to either control or accept self and other.
I want to make another side note here that the less empowered you are, meaning the less you know yourself, the more likely you are to desire to be controlled as it provides a sense of external safety. You are also more likely to go along with other people’s rules, ideas and do as we are told as you don’t really recognize yourself yet. This makes it very easy for those beings who have chosen the path of control to manipulate you. This is different than being controlling yourself. It is instead a disownment of your power, an unconscious giving away of it where you haven’t even moved to the point of conscious choice yet. When you are inside of this perspective there is just life happening as an “independent from self phenomena,” and it feels like you and the world are separate. Many people that have a innate tendency towards the path of acceptance are still asleep in their consciousness, so their choice for acceptance is not yet actively engaged. Due to this they passively submit, which is a very different energy than active acceptance, even though on the surface they may look similar. The true power of active acceptance does not arrive until you wake up and choose it. This how you come to learn that you can move mountains through acceptance, and that force, control, and manipulation are not needed to create powerful change.
We are at a point in our evolution where its vitally important to be aware that we have choice and to make it consciously. Again many beings that are more acceptance oriented are not aware of the level of control and manipulation that they are creating on a day to day basis inside their life and psyche. Its time to wake up and see yourself. Illuminating yourself is what gives you the capacity to consciously choose. Notice any tendencies you have to cling to outcome, to try to make yourself or things/people different than they are, to manipulate others through kindness or doing certain things so that you feel safe, ok and accepted by them. Also notice where you to want people to be a certain way, perhaps think like you, behave like you and where you think you are right and they are wrong. Notice where you want to get something from someone or from a situation and the tactics you use to get that thing. Getting something from any situation or person can be as simple as wanting a person to feel differently than they do so that you feel better about how they feel, or trying to get attention or love so you feel better about yourself. Most people are doing this stuff all day long and then wonder why they are sick, exhausted and in pain. They are because all day long they are engaging in the mostly unconscious patterns of manipulation and control which is incoherent with their true nature of acceptance.
This is not selective acceptance. To choose the path of acceptance is to accept all. This means you will be required to accept things that you think are wrong, that you despise, that every ounce of your being resists. All I can say is that that is the path of acceptance as I’ve come to know it. It is also the path to total freedom of all and the lived energetic aliveness of love. When you accept that which you previously held in non-acceptance you come into alignment with yourself and with the universe. Your power is infinite and your touch is magic. You recognize yourself more fully and come to know that nothing is separate from you.
Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado