THERE IS NO VEIL
Why we feel disconnected from knowing
We are all trying to know something, to figure something out, to find something, and yet none of us really know what that something is that we are attempting to discover. Maybe we think it’s clarity, or understanding, or insight, yet it appears to be on the other side of something. It’s as though there is this veil, this thing we can’t see past or across, this disconnection or separation from knowing. But what if that seeming veil of disconnection that comes with the feeling sense of being lost, in the dark, or clouded isn’t actually real? What if there is nothing in between you and the known? What if we are just making up this whole disconnection thing even though it seems so real to us?
Like so many things that seem real to us until we realize that they are not, our feeling sense experience of disconnection from knowing seems as real as our arm. It really feels real that we don’t know and that knowing is somewhere else, on the other side, or separate from where we are, what we know and who we are. It feels like knowing must come from some other source, like a mysterious person, event or thing knows and we have to figure it out or get to it so that we can know. But what if that seeming distance, that seeming separation from knowing, is simply a perspective? What if we believe we are separate and are thus just playing out our belief in it. Our beliefs seem real, until we realize they aren’t.
For a moment think of your life like a repeating groundhog’s day just like that 90s movie with Bill Murray. Each day you wake up and it’s the exact same thing. At first you are a little taken back by it, maybe even annoyed, frustrated or bored. After days, weeks and months go on like this you start to realize that you know what’s coming, and because you know what’s coming you relax a little bit. You start to shake things up, play around with stuff, and you take almost nothing seriously. Each day you experiment with being and doing something new because you know that the next day will bring the same set of circumstances and conditions.
Knowing that you know and realizing that there is no veil is like this. Rather than being cautious, holding your breathe, being concerned about how things will turn out, or trying to figure things out, you stop being vigilant. You realize that nothing is really serious and that all this cautiousness (aka fear) that you experience is simply because you are playing out the game that you don’t know (and I assure you it is a game). And because you believe that you don’t know you feel uncertain and unsure that things will be ok. You doubt ok-ness and therefore live vigilant to the potential that things will be not ok, or even that they will be bad or horrible. You therefore don’t relax, feel tense and are constantly afraid at some level that the shoe will drop. So you desperately attempt to hold onto the shoe, however the shoe is simply a thought, it has no solid substance, so there is nothing stable to hold onto, so you feel unstable. All the while unconsciously repeating over and over and over and over and over again in your mind the thought “something bad might happen” or “something might not be ok”.
LOVE IS ALWAYS ACCESSIBLE
Choosing knowing & connection
When we know that things are ok we feel free and therefore we openly give ourselves and radiate to and with field of life. You could say we freely express love or what we are. We perceive no threat, therefore we have nothing we need to protect from ourselves or others. We are free to be ourselves fully. We tend to not mind or care what happens because we know all is well regardless. It doesn’t mean we don’t care as a quality of heart, in fact quite the opposite. We don’t care about story lines or what we or others think should or shouldn’t be, but rather care about love and all of its expressions. This is the experience of joy or happiness that isn’t based on any conditions, but rather a state of beingness that we just are or is. When we don’t believe or know that things will always be ok no matter what, we contain and hold. We don’t radiate or give to the field of life, because we fear something will go wrong or that we or others will be harmed. We self-preserve. Self-preservation is limited to only exchange energy and information with itself. This is why it often feels cut off or separate. There is frequently the feeling sense that there is not enough of something, such as resources, money, food, love, connection, joy, happiness, etc. Limitation feels real.
It seems crazy that something as seemingly small as a belief that things will be ok versus things won’t be ok could really make such a big difference in our day to day experience of this life, yet it does. Some people want to argue that it’s not that simple. They want to keep playing the victim to life rather than recognizing themselves as the creator of it, so they will conjure up a million and ten excuses why they can’t change or choose. That’s ok, and if at some point they want to have a different experience of life then they are going to have to wake up a little bit and realize what they are choosing and choose differently. It can feel hard and sometimes even impossible to see ourselves, choose differently and take new actions based on our choosing, yet there is nothing too big, too far, or too unknown for you to transform. You are bigger than your childhood traumas, your relationship challenges, and your sensations and emotions. There isn’t anyone that is human that hasn’t experienced all of these things and yet those things are not the problems that we tend to think are. Rather they are the teachers that we have in this life to help us remember who we are and to help us shift our perspective of disconnection and separation back into remembrance that we know.
When we realize that the veil of disconnection is not real, that it is just a perspective that we can choose or not, we know love. Love becomes instantly accessible to us rather than it being pushed out to some future moment when things are more right, clear or perfect. See we often think that we need some clarity, insight, answer or understanding first, but love/connection comes first. Clarity, insight, answers and understanding follow. We feel bad when we aren’t in love and we feel good when we are. When I say in love I don’t mean it in the context of a relationship with another person, but rather in the pure state of being it. Love is all anyone ever really wants. We think we want other stuff besides love because we think we will get love in the stuff. Stuff like other people, activities, events, health or answers, however we will only ever get reflections of love from all that stuff, which is not a stable source of it. In order to know love you must recognize yourself as the source of it. You must become it. You must become what you are. Then love never leaves. In truth it never has. You’ve never been disconnected from the never ending source of pure bliss, ecstasy, union and connection that you are. You only thought you were. And just like you conjured up the thought of disconnection, you can conjure up the thought of connection. Stop taking your cues about who or what you are from your previous life experiences and reflections. Rather project out onto life the knowing that you are love, that you know, that you are connected, and you will transform everything into that.
Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado