Holding Your Breath

Holding Your Breath 

Waiting for the shoe to drop

16854815 - funny young woman with colorful air balloons enjoyingSo many people are holding their breath, waiting for the next shoe to drop.  It seems to us that if we can just keep holding our breath then we won’t feel what is about to happen next.  Why is it that we don’t want to feel what will happen next when we don’t even know what will happen?  It is because our minds like to create the most potentially devastating stories about what things mean and how something that might occur might threaten us.  So we live with this lurking feeling of potential threat and we hold our breath in attempt to not feel it.

This holding of our breath is conscious for some people and unconscious for others, meaning you might be really aware that your breath is not fluid, rhythmic, deep, easeful or full or you may have no idea at all.  We often need contrast to become aware of ourselves and our patterns.  This applies to our breathing patterns as well.  If you’ve had experiences in your life where your breath was labored or challenged it becomes really easy to recognize when that is not the case because there is contrast.  However if your breathing has been relatively stable throughout your life you may not yet realize that more expansive or restful breath is possible because you have not yet experienced that something more is indeed possible.  

Breathing occurs naturally.  Air comes in and out of our lungs without us needing to think about it or make it happen.  Yet when this feels like it is not the case, for example if we feel short of breath or the breath feels shallow, there is quite naturally an added survival panic response that results.  It is like throwing more fuel on the fire.  As our anxiety heightens then our breath feels less and less full, the more resistance builds up in our body and the harder it feels to breathe.  Resistance is the primary ingredient that interferes with the natural process of breathing in the first place.  

This brings us back to the feeling sensation of waiting for the next shoe to drop.  When we clench or grip to protect ourselves from feeling something we put our body in a state of tension aka resistance.  Resistance makes everything more challenging including our breath.  Many people are not aware of how much they resist or attempt to prepare themselves against the impact of something potentially bad happening to them.  In fact it is this preparation or “on guard state of being” that is far more uncomfortable then simply feeling the impact of thing we are attempting to not feel the impact of.  

While this all seems rational and we might get it conceptually, particularly if nothing feels super uncertain or turbulent in our life in the moment, allowing ourselves to get it physiologically is another thing entirely.  To convince ourselves to feel the thing that everything in our mind is telling us is unsafe to feel or that we don’t want to feel is the perpetual dance we do with our defenses.  See for most people their defenses are running the show pretty much all of the time.  We tend to not notice this and think that we are in charge and not our defenses if our life seems to be going relatively well and we are in agreement with what is showing up in our reality.  However when our life shakes up a little bit and something arrives in our experience that feels unknown or undesirable we get a front row show to just how much our defenses are really in charge. 

Story of our Defenses

Bridge from concept to direct physiological experience 

perspective of wood bridge in deep forest crossing water stream and glowing light at the end of wooden waysSo you might be asking what is the story with our defenses.  First of all it may be helpful to know we all have them and their job is to protect us from harm.  They develop as mechanisms of survival for this body-mind organism.  Some of our defenses develop when we are really young and are more primitive.  They are more easily recognized as they tend to be more reactionary, emotional or physical in nature.  Other defenses develop when we are a little bit older and are more sophisticated, rational and logical.  These more sophisticated defenses are much tricker because they are based on socially acceptable rules of engagement.  We often think that we are these defenses and it is more challenging to see that our defenses are running the show of our life because we just think it is who we are.  These defenses are also more thought based meaning they are activated in response to memories of past experiences and anticipation of future events.  

Though the job of our defenses is to protect us from harm this comes with a cost.  That cost is fragmentation, separation and disconnection.  We have quite normalized living disconnected partly because we haven’t had a ton of contrast as to what it is to live connected, so disconnection seems normal.  The long term effects of fragmentation, separation and disconnection are far more reaching then any of us might currently realize.  

Bringing this back to our body, physiology and breath we must ask ourselves how we bridge this gap between knowing conceptually about our defenses to being able to move through them and feel the experiences that they are attempting to push away.  The result of this being that we open our system, relax and allow breath to breathe in and out of this body in its full, rhythmic, expansive, vital and deeply nurturing ways.  

If for a moment you think of breath as life, as what you are, rather than all of the rest of the stuff that you identify with, how would that shift your focus and change your relationship to breath?  In seeing that when you create tension patterns based on unconscious and conscious stories created inside of your own mind, that interfere with the movement of breath in and out of your body, what you are really doing is resisting life.  Creating resistance to breath is the foundation for resisting life.  Life is a myriad of infinite expressions and comes with an entire gamut of sensations, feelings, emotions and experiences.  Some of these sensations, feelings, emotions and experiences will feel amazing and others will feel horrible.  There is no real way around this unless you completely 100% shift your perspective to seeing only divine perfection in everything making every experience blissful, which for most people at this stage in the game is not impossible but highly improbable.  Due to this improbability at this current time/space nexus we must cultivate another strategy that will open us to life rather than close us down to it.  That strategy is willingness, self-permission, allowing and inner invitation to feel, sense and experience the entire gamut of whatever experiences show up in our lives no matter how uncomfortable or undesirable they are for us.  

This is a tall order I know.  Yet the only way to the other side is through.  Going through means feeling and experiencing all of it so that none is left out, split or fragmented.  This is how we arrive at the experience of connectedness and wholeness.  We leave nothing out.  We reject nothing.  Through that we arrive at wholeness.  Breath, life, moves in and out of these bodies, free and unimpeded.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Impermanence

Impermanence 

Pleasure & pain principle

Four season treeMost people assume that things will always be the way that they are.  In fact this assumption is one of the the prime causes of suffering and disconnection.  Whether life feels painful or pleasurable we tend to default into thinking that it will always be this way even though from a more rational or practical perspective we know that it won’t be as everything is always changing.  Yet we are often in denial or oblivious to the fact of the ever changing nature of life.  

Why do we deny the blatantly obvious changing nature of life?  It almost always comes down to not wanting to feel loss of something.  Change means that things will come and go.  Some things we don’t want to let go of because they feel so good to us.  This could be a relationship, a family structure, the state of our body or health, the place we live, some possession we own, a job/career, etc.  We desire it and thus grasp onto it at all cost.  We feel pain at the thought of losing something we love or cherish in our experience.  This is a natural part of the human experience and yet the root of our suffering.  It is also the motivation for our attempts to control or manage all aspects of our life.  This is not only exhausting to us on a mental-emotional level, it also affects the health and functioning of our body.

The other side of perpetuating the illusion of permanence is when we don’t like our experience or what we tend to call pain.  For example we may be in a relationship we don’t want, have a sensation in our body that we don’t like, or dislike our job/career and yet we feel hopeless and like there is no way out or through.  We feel like it is just going to always be this way permanently and we find ourselves trapped in the illusion of solidity and fixation rather than realizing the ever changing nature of life that includes each and every expression and form. 

The uncertainty of things coming and going leaves us feeling like we are tethered to nothing at all and this experience of freedom is too much for most minds.  Minds like to know what comes next and will do their best to create certainty even if that certainty comes in the form of something we don’t want or prefer such as an uncomfortable body sensation, a job that we are over or a relationship that has ran its course.  The thing is that we don’t live in a certain, stable or known world.  In fact we live in the exact opposite.  Our resistance to uncertainty, instability and the mysterious nature of life keeps us trapped in a prison that lives only inside of our own minds.  This prison is home for most and what they believe reality to be.   

Embracing the Comings  & Goings

A gateway to gratitude 

Wave Hollow Inside OutIf asked, most people would say they prefer freedom and joy rather than constraint and suffering, and yet most people choose constraint and suffering without even realizing that it is their choice.  The way that we choose joy and freedom is through fully accepting and inviting in the ever changing nature of life.  By embracing the comings and goings we find ourselves in a perpetual state of gratitude and awe for life rather than attempting to manage and control it.  

Take for example the novelty of a new relationship, job, house or any other exciting thing.  In this beginning stage we often find ourselves elated and what many would name as “in love”.  We are in love because we are not taking anything for granted nor making anything too solid or permanent.  We don’t yet have assumptions about what will occur, as we don’t really know yet.  We have lots of excitement, but not too much attachment because there hasn’t been much of ourselves invested yet.  We feel hopefully for possibilities and yet remain in an open state of being in regards to how it all looks and feels.  There is much to be revealed, determined and experienced as we live it.  Most people love being in this novelty phase of unfixed excitement, yet it doesn’t take long for the mind to come in and attempt to make things more solid.  Particularly as we develop routines with these new aspects of our lives and they become more “integrated”, ordinary, solid or real.  

As soon as things become increasingly and increasingly more fixed we simultaneously “lose” that feeling of love.  This is not a coincidence.  What we really “lose” is novelty and the unattached state of gratitude that comes with it.  We create solid where there is not really solid and then when our sense of solid either become too solid (where we feel suffocated) or becomes less solid (when we we aren’t wanting it to change) we suffer.  

The less moveable and flexible we are with the comings and goings of life the more we will experience suffering.  Again these comings and goings include everything: your body and its sensations and the expressions of ease or dis‘ease’, your relationships with yourself and others, the state of your physical comforts or discomforts, financial resources, business failures or successes, the range of your emotional body, etc.  All of these things are always going to be in a state of constant flux.  Though there are times when your experience will be that some of aspects of your life are seemingly more stable, this too is just an illusion.  Its simply that the relevance/teachings that you are learning from those experiences takes longer or serves you and/or the rest of the creation more so they hang around for a longer duration of time until their relevance is complete.

Everything constructs and deconstructs, stabilizes and destabilizes, binds and becomes free again.  This is simply the nature of this universe that we live in.  Learning to ride this wave through embracing the comings and goings will keep you in a perpetual state of gratitude, awe and love, which is truly what we desire more than the constant appearance of any aspect of our reality being fixed or staying the same.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Dreaming Awake

Dreaming Awake 

Sleep & wakefulness

EyeWe are all familiar with dreamtime.  Some of us may remember our dreams more than others, but we all dream.  Many people put dreams in the category of “not real”, meaning they have no definitive reality because they lack tangibility, linearity and consistency.  Yet most of the time when we are fully immersed in the dream experience we have no idea that we are dreaming.  We simply experience the dream and then at a certain time the dream ends or we wake up.  Most of the time while we are in the dream state things seem quite normal and ordinary to us kind as they would in our waking state.  Once we wake up only then do we realize that we were dreaming and not a moment before.  

One caveat to this is when we lucidly dream, which is when we literally wake up inside the dream and are able to manipulate the dream with our wakefulness or our conscious state of being in a dream rather than being the dream or the dream simply occurring as if by itself on automatic pilot.  You are both experiencing the dream and simultaneously realize that you are the dreamer dreaming the dream.  For those that have had this experience you know that this is where magic literally comes to life inside of the dream.  Seeming impossibilities become possible and the direct manifestation of those possibilities is experienced through the dream the moment you realize it.  You quite literally know your power and have access to energy and information that was previously elusive to you.  You feel so awake, empowered, energized and in direct knowing of the mystery of life, and your knowing becomes what you immediately experience.  There is no gap.

One of the things about the sleep dream state is that we get more access to our unconscious minds because our everyday conscious minds are resting.  Sleep is quite literally the resting of our conscious minds.  Our unconscious mind on the other hand is that aspect of mind that in our waking state is often obscured, but becomes unobscured when we fall asleep.  The unconscious mind is like a warehouse of dormant energy and information about ourselves, life, the universe and the cosmos at large.  This is what we access when we fall asleep.  When you fully wake up inside of a dream (ie. lucid dreaming) your conscious mind becomes active and your normally unconscious mind is also simultaneously present and available.  This is why I personally believe that the gap between knowing and direct experience/manifestation is eliminated in these instances.  That which is normally forgotten when we are awake in just our conscious thinking mind is intact along with our conscious thinking mind.  This is a recipe for infinite knowing and direct experiencing.   

Dream of Reality 

Thoughts like dreams

RipMany spiritual teachings talk about how what we view as reality is really just a dream.  That when we wake up from our sleeping dream we are simply awakening into another aspect of the dream that seems more real or permanent due to our conscious thinking mind creating a sense of continuity through its patterns of thought and memory.  Yet this experience that we call reality seems to be missing a lot of information and energy and many of us sense this through a subtle (or not so subtle) feeling of disconnection from something.  Most people can’t even really put their finger on what is missing, they just feel this sense of being lost or in the dark along with the feeling that there is something more.  

If we are indeed dreaming right this very moment, asleep to the unconscious part of our mind which contains all knowledge and infinite free energy, can we not wake up into the aspect of our mind that is asleep when our conscious minds are awake?  I do believe that this is what spiritual teachers are pointing to when they talk about awakening.  This is the dropping of the veil, where worlds become one again or better stated where mind becomes one again.  The conscious mind reconnecting into the infinite sea of unconsciousness, sparking it and making it come alive in the light of awareness, bringing to life infinite possibilities and manifestations out of this sea.

It is important to know that separation is simply a thought.  It is not a “real” thing.  In fact there are no real separate things.  There is only thought.  Thoughts are what tell you what you see, they are the information source for what you experience.  Conscious minds generate thought and thought creates worlds.  So if you recognize that there is not really a gap between the conscious and unconscious aspects of your mind, there is only a thought of separation or thought of a gap, then you can directly experience the non-separation that inherently is.  All that is required is that you drop the thought of separation.  

When you suspend focusing on the thoughts and forms that the conscious mind creates, even if only for a one second, you immediately drop your conscious mind into the vast spaciousness of the non-separate unconscious mind.  Some people call this pure awareness.  The configurations that patterns of thought (aka light) create and condense down into forms that we call reality are what give shape to pure awareness or the unconscious mind.  These thought/light configurations can create the illusion of separation and thus the feeling experience of it.  If you are identified with the forms, which are just configurations of light, and are asleep to that which is the former of the forms (ie. the dreamer), life will seem automatic, like it is just going along on its own and that you don’t have much to say or do about how it goes.  That is until you wake up.  Remember that only when you wake up from the sleeping dream do you realize that you’ve been dreaming all along.  Being inside of a thought (what we call reality) is like being inside of dream.  When you suspend or stop the thought even momentarily you create an opportunity to wake up from being inside of it where it is no longer dictating your experience.  All that remains is pure awareness not yet condensed into a form through a thought.  Increasing the brightness of your conscious awareness on the former of thoughts, the creator of all worlds, which is this pure awareness, will wake you from the dream of thoughts altogether.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) & Somato-Respiratory Integration (SRI), Boulder, Colorado

Field of the Heart

Field of the Heart

Going beyond the physical, emotional & personal

17361305 - cloud heartWhen most people think about the heart they tend to think solely of the space inside of their chest where their physical heart resides.  Some people that are more aware of the subtle energetics may even refer to the space around their chest as their heart, including the heart chakra in their definition. While these are aspects or components of the heart, they are not the heart in its entirety.  

There is also frequently an association made between the heart and one’s ability to feel emotions, so many refer to or think of the heart as the emotional center.  While its true that an opening of or into the heart can allow us to experience more feelings and emotions, the heart is not the seat of the emotional body.  The emotional body is more connected into this physical form through our belly rather than what we tend to call the heart.  

I find that the heart really is not emotional, physical, or even personal in nature.  That doesn’t mean that the heart does not impact or influence the emotional, physical and personal aspects of us, but the heart is not contained or defined by them.  The heart is also not just our heart chakra, meaning a subtle energetic structure.  The heart instead is a unified field of all pervasive awareness.  Unified in knowing that it is just one.  It is not just in one part or one location; it is in all locations and all parts.  It goes beyond ideas of you and me and knows inherently the nature of inseparability and oneness.  

Often times when we touch or open up into this heart field our mind will jump in and try to figure it out by labeling or creating ideas about it.  Yet when we can simply allow the mind to rest and be still then we don’t create ripples within that pristine field of love and it remains undisturbed.  When undisturbed we experience the purity of this field of love without insisting on trying to dumb it down into a concept and make it something that our minds can understand.  This also allows us to be pure transmitters of the information and energy that this field contains.  

Experiencing yourself as Source 

The “New Normal”

Light burst with starsWhen our awareness expands to include the heart field, magic and mystery arrive as our lived experience.  We begin to know yet don’t know how we know what we know.  We write, speak and move and the impulse for all of our thoughts, words and movements is not our mind or thoughts.  There is a guiding source that writes, speaks and moves these bodies and all things that have appearance or form without the filtering of mind.  This source is pure intelligence, it is the true self or the true you.  Ask yourself, “where does all information, love and movement arise?”  This will draw your awareness inwards, in to yourself, so that you can directly experience yourself as the source rather than as the forms and appearances.  

You may be curious as to why you don’t always or perhaps ever experience life in this way, meaning as source rather than appearances of source.  It is because you, like most all of us, were taught to focus on appearances and not on essence.  With the repetition of focus on appearances you fused your awareness with the appearance of you and are now lost in the projection of yourself rather than being rested in your actual self.  When you touch in, taste or rest into the field of heart you make contact with yourself again.  For many this experience feels so foreign to them that they doubt, question, analyze and try to make rational their own selves to the appearance of themselves. They feel like something is happening to them, like they are being moved by something other than them, when in truth they are simply allowing themselves to be moved by their true self rather than by programmed and learned responses.  For others that perhaps have less conditioning or are less fused with the appearance of themselves, when they touch in, taste or rest into the field of the heart they remember and feel a sense of being home.  It is an instant recognition and remembrance.  They do not doubt or question themselves as much and there is more trust, allowing and knowing of the goodness that they are.  When we don’t know our inherent goodness and that love is our natural state, then we will fear or push it away when it arrives.  Pushing away can occur through rationalization, deflection, emotional hijacking, stories about heightened sensations and the like.  

Many people are talking about the “new normal”  these days, what that is, what our world looks like with various measures of physical (appearance) distancing and self/other protection.  I like to dream that the new normal is where more and more people are rested in the field of the heart, know themselves as the source of love and are less fused with the physical appearance of themselves.  Imagine how powerful and resourceful we are when all are rested in the complete unification and inseparability that actually is.  When we stop waging war on and fighting oneness.  It’s true, we are all in this together, including every single appearance and aspect of creation that’s been created.  We can’t exclude or try to eliminate some aspects and expect to experience harmony.  We couldn’t be separate even if we tried really, really hard and we have been trying really, really hard for billions of years unsuccessfully so.  Separation is and has always been an illusion of appearances.  You have never been an appearance.  You have always been the source of all appearances.  That source is the field of the heart.  You are the source of love.  May that knowing become your new normal.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Finding your Power

Finding your Power 

Moving beyond fear & accepting uncertainty

colorful color splash paintbrush rowWhen people perceive uncertainty fear often strikes.  The key here is perceive.  The truth is uncertainty is the perpetual state that we live in moment to moment.  Nothing is known until the moment that it is experienced and lived.  In this way we are always looking onto a blank canvas and waiting for the next stroke to appear.  What we frequently don’t realize is that we are the artist.  We are the one drawing each stroke and our perception is how we draw.  What we perceive is the picture of life we paint ourselves.  

It is in this way people are not living in the same reality.  There may be the surface appearance that we are all living in the same world, meaning we both see the same objects, and yet how people are experiencing this surface reality of objects is radically different.  It is truly in this way that you are the master-creator of your reality.  It is no joke or just new age spiritual nonsense that you are in charge, you actually are.

So the question becomes why then are we living so disempowered?  Why is it so hard for us to see, know and taste our power?  It is because the veil or covering of fear clouds our awareness and thus only allows us to perceive through its lens.  When fear is our lens we see/perceive threat.  Fear reinforces the idea of separation and promotes self-protection.  Fear is lack of faith and lack of trust.  It’s constantly doubting and questioning because it feels scared and alone.  This is the miserable state of being that most people are living in most of the time.  Know that ultimately fear is just one state of being from which you can choose, yet our tendency is to default to this program of fear whenever we perceive uncertainty.

On a lighter note this state of being of fear is what most of us came here to see through and overcome in order to help bring forth new possibilities of a reality that is lighter, rested, and more joyful for those that are ready for it.  Understand that not everyone is ready for a new reality and that is ok.  Sometimes holding onto patterns of fear are our only known way to create a sense of stability for ourselves.  The desire to hold onto the external sense of stability, as wavering and unstable as it is, outweighs accepting the truth of uncertainty.  However through accepting the truth of uncertainty you allow yourself to rest into it rather than fight it.  The relinquishment of your own inner resistance to uncertainty is what propels you into your power where you find true stability.  Stability in your own beingness that is independent of any circumstance, situation or condition.   

Changing your programming 

Being in the Driver’s seat

Hacker using the Internet hacked abstract computer server, databHow is it then that we change our default response?  How do we reprogram ourselves to a new patterned way of perceiving?  I wish I could give you some elaborately beautiful answer, but Nike said it best with their slogan just do it.  Understand that when we aren’t ready to change, change will seem really complex.  We will feel lost, confused, stuck, frustrated, and like things are impossible or hard to see.  We will think a lot, weigh options, blame, justify, rationalize, validate, but that is all preparation, or said another way, postponement of change.  When we are ready there are no more questions, we just simply see clearly and in that clear seeing we choose differently.  At the end of the day its really that simple.  

It takes however long it takes for us to stop postponing our own change.  It should in some way come as a relief to know this, as it means your ability to shift how you perceive and thus change your programming and the reality you experience is always up to you in each and every moment.  It should feel empowering to know this because it puts you back into the driver’s seat.  The truth is that you have always, always, always been in the driver’s seat, you just haven’t realized that you where.  This is what is called unconsciously creating our reality.  It is based on previous learning and experiences and it tends to just run on automatic in the background.  It doesn’t require much energy and feels somewhat static, which gives the illusion of a consistent or same world in which things can’t change, won’t change or don’t change.  Its not that things don’t change, it’s that you don’t change and when you don’t change the world looks the same day in and day out.  

The key here is that there is no right and no wrong to this.  There is not a right or wrong perception/experience.  There is only your preference.  What is your preference?  How do you want to perceive/experience?  Do you want to look through the lens of fear or the lens of safety?  You are not choice-less in the matter, you are the chooser.  When you get that life is not based on circumstances, but instead is based on you, you will have gotten what it means to live empowered.  

When you live empowered you are consciously, deliberately choosing your perception.  This means that you are free.  Free to decide for yourself.  Free to no longer allow circumstances, conditions or other people and their actions/non-actions decide for you.  No more having to play nice to hope to get what you want or control other peoples actions or responses to you.  Free to see how you desire to see.  Free to live in your preferred reality rather than the one that has been spoon fed to you.  Freedom from backlash or negative impact because you realize that you are in charge and that is true no matter what occurs.  This doesn’t mean that potential “negative” things won’t ever occur, but it does mean that you are the one deciding what you choose to term negative or not.   Again remember not everyone is ready for this level of freedom.  Not everyone wants it yet.  That is ok and perfect.  Do also realize that this freedom is always here, always present and always ready for you once you ready for it.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Soul Alignment

Soul Alignment 

Connecting to the sound of you

Licht Transformation Blau WeißWhat does it mean to align to your soul?  We all have a purpose or calling as to why we are here.  There is an intention and a desire to express this intention into manifestation that guides our life behind the scenes so to speak.  Some people refer to this as a blueprint, which is a map of sorts that we follow consciously or unconsciously.  It is what brings particular people and experiences to us, it’s responsible for the perspectives and views we have about life, and it lays the foundation for our beliefs, all so that we can learn/express a particular theme which we came here to play out.  

Many people are not aware of their blueprint or what they came here to learn and share.  It’s as if a cloud came over our knowing and blocked the ray of sunlight of awareness of our soul.  Thus we experience this subtle, or not so subtle for some, feeling of disconnection and confusion nearly continuously.  We have become so accustomed to feeling this way that we’ve normalized disconnection and come to seek stability, safety and comfort in this external world rather than seek an inner knowing of ourselves.  

In order to hear the sound of your soul the desire must arise inside of you to know yourself.  The clouds that lay over your knowing are thick making it appear as if they are solid, impenetrable structures from which nothing can see through.  The only impulse that can pierce those seemingly solid clouds is your intensely committed and focused energy to know what is on the other side of them.  It is through the intensity of your commitment and focus to know yourself that you make contact with your soul and see your blueprint, your purpose and calling for being incarnated as who you are now.  

Aligning with and hearing your soul requires your complete devotion to that single focus above all else.  That means above what you sometimes think is supposed to happen or want to happen.  It requires full detachment from the physical person-centric life as a source of comfort and a resting into nonphysical aspects of yourself.  Your commitment to your purpose for incarnation and what you are here to learn/express must be prioritized more than any material or relational comfort you find yourself attached to.  It must become your default reference point so that in each and every moment your every thought and action comes from being rested in your soul.  It is from here that true clarity, connection and knowingness arises, which is an inherent effect of you knowing yourself.   

Becoming your calling 

Your calling made manifest

JourneyKnowing your calling requires that you hear the call.  What called you here?  Was it the sound of millions or even billions of people asking for help and seeking clarity and connection despite feeling lost and separate?  For many of us here at this time it is this very thing that called us into incarnation.  We came to shine light, express love and assist people in reconnecting and remembering themselves.  This calling that we have all answered, that has brought us here in this very moment, has also allowed us to bring our perspectives, our energetic templates and ways of seeing and knowing here with us.  The perspectives that we carry may not be novel to us, but they are novel for many people on this planet.  Novel perspectives (plus our inherent energetic constitutions) allow for different seeing, which brings with it new possibilities for creation on this planet.  

Most of our callings are simple.  To be who we are and share how we see is what creates an impact, yet many of us get lost when we come here to this planet.  We forget ourselves by getting consumed with the perspectives of our immediate environment which narrow and shut down our forgetting even further.  Our focus gets wrapped up in what the collective values and because we’ve lost sight of ourselves we follow the collective unconscious/asleep crowd.  We devalue our knowings and our perspectives until we no longer even remember them.  This is how we forget and how we stop hearing the call that brought us here in the first place.

The good news is that you are your calling.  There isn’t any special thing that you need to do or add to yourself.  You had everything you needed to complete your calling before you were even born.  That should feel relieving.  You already know and have all the resources that you need to be yourself even if you have forgotten why you are here.  However to feel the fulfillment that comes with living your calling it is helpful to learn to connect to and remember it.  If you don’t you may feel like you are drifting rather than feeling that deliberate, intentional, purpose driven life.  

The truth is you are always in alignment, you are always in some way answering the call that called you here, because just by your very being you cannot not be.  Yet your experience may not always feel like it is aligned to you.  This is important.  This is the way that you are directing and guiding your own self.  You must listen to when you feel out of alignment and follow whatever impulse or intuition you must to feel in alignment again, because this is where deep fulfillment lives.  When you feel fulfilled and aligned you perceive a universe that is abundant and perfect.  Don’t forget that your perspective is what creates the universe you experience and thus reality.  This is the very reality that you came here to help the collective you see differently.  So by bringing yourself into right relationship and perspective within yourself you answer your calling.  This is the difference between consciously being your calling rather than unconsciously being it.  You have a responsibility to yourself to hear the call and align yourself fully with the call, so that you are consciously creating this thing called life and bringing into manifestation the world you truly desire.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Destruction

Destruction

Tides of transformation

Hot fires flames in round shapeMost of us fear destruction.  Yet destruction is an inevitable aspect of growth. Things can not stay the same and simultaneously look or be different.  When we allow our fear of deconstruction (i.e. what we think we will lose) to reign we feel stuck, frustrated and powerless. These feelings are simply the postponement of change that must occur.  The only thing that shifts frustration is forward movement. The tendency for most is instead to move backwards into the same habituated thinking patterns because they are known rather than to push forward into the unknown.  Growth does not occur in the known.

What it boils down to is that people want to feel different or have their life be different yet expect that they can remain the same.  They project that they want the situation or circumstance to change, but deny their participation in that change. They fail to see that in every moment life (including their body) responds to them, not to some mysterious, outside, unknown force.  They avoid and deny their power rather than own their power.  The building up of frustration and stuckness rather than the alleviation of it, is what provides the energy for forward momentum.  Due to the fact that we avoid feeling uncomfortable we don’t allow the build up of tension that is required to make change.  Instead we find the most accessible ways in which we can to alleviate it.  Frequently that involves dropping into a lower state of awareness or consciousness where we feel like things are continuing to happen to us, that we are powerless, and that someone or something must fix us rather than us recognizing ourselves in the equation.

If rather than running from our uncomfortable sensations and situations we learn to move towards them, not in a way to fix or get rid of them as if they are some separate object from us, but instead to make contact with ourselves through them, we will be able to harness the energy of stuckness to move forward.  This will begin to expand our perspective of our current situation or circumstance.  The moment that we move towards rather than away from, is the moment that we stretch ourselves beyond our known.  This stretching expands our view of what we can see and allows us to revisit that which previously felt separate to us with new eyes. It allows us to see our patterns and how we are creating the circumstances and situations we’re experiencing, including what’s happening within our body, so that we can make necessary changes that are required. It is at this point that the inevitable destruction that was always eminent is now so clearly in the forefront of our awareness.  It is now no longer a choice that we can grapple with, but instead a must that we must do. 

Destroyer 

Recognizing yourself in the equation

Female with Indian feather hat and colorful makeup.Ultimately destruction is about the dissolution or breakdown of aspects of our self that no longer serve our highest good and don’t allow for optimal function of our bodies and lives.  These parts of us, or more accurately these patterns which we have identified as who we are, are often mysterious to us in the early part of transformation. We can’t yet see that we are the ones creating the circumstances and situations because we are so fused as being the pattern or part.  However when transformation moves to mid phase we begin to gain insight into what is occurring and more importantly our participation with it.  At transformation’s end phase we clearly see how we have been in charge all along and that it’s never been about the situation or circumstance, ever. 

I invite you to see from the perspective that stuckness and frustration is a gift. It is a gift from you, to you, that is showing you that some aspect of your consciousness must be made more aware.  It is the way in which you are teaching yourself to wake up.  Rather than keeping the perspective that tension is a problem or that the circumstance is a problem, see it as an opportunity for growth. Accept that destruction and change is a part of growth.  As you move into the frustration and wake up to seeing your contribution to what is occurring, you will be required to change.  Recognize your own resistance to this.  Recognize your desire to maintain sameness or perceived safety and stability rather than instability and change.  Recognize that things will come and go as required whether you like it or not.  Know that some of those things you will want to hold onto for dear life and yet they remain incompatible with who it is you are waking up to be.  To continue to hold onto those things and attempt to control external circumstances will keep you in a state of suffering and stuckness and suffering and stuckness and suffering and stuckness until the point where you have finally had enough. 

Some of us will tolerate suffering and stuckness for such a long time because we are so afraid of change, growth and what we think we will lose along the way, but change and growth is the nature of this universe. To remain the same or in resistance/fear to change when change is eminent, is nothing short of a miserable life experience as the soul cannot express through you in the ways that it desires due to your persistent attempts to try to control it.  

Nothing remains the same.  Nothing.  You can hold onto absolutely nothing. The deeper that you can accept this the more easily you will allow the process of destruction and transformation to run its course in whatever ways are needed. This will accelerate your journey as a soul who’s sole function is to expand and express.  Ultimately you are the destroyer/changer.  Destruction and change do not happen to you, you are not a victim of them, instead you initiate them because you realize that you must.  This is the realization and actualization of your power. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Becoming

Becoming 

Making the shift into who you desire to be

VanityYou have all probably heard the phrase: think it, feel it, become it.  Its often used to reference a process of transformation in becoming something that what we desire to become.  We use our thoughts to think it, then our feeling bodies to feel the qualities we want to become, and through feeling it we become it.  When we want to become something anew there is often also a process of simultaneously undoing who we have previously thought ourselves to be as frequently who we desire to be now is in conflict with what we currently think we are.  

Most of us aren’t even really aware of who it is that we currently are and even beyond that. that who we are is a choice.  We don’t realize that we carry many underlying assumptions and hidden beliefs about ourselves that are based on our life experiences.  If fact most all of who we think we are has been based on our life experiences.  How frequently does it seem that our life experiences have just happened to us, particularly early on in our lives when a large portion of our identity is formed, but even continuing through into the present?  Therefore how much do we just assume that this is “just who I am” and not question it or think that we could ever be different?  This is one of the conundrum’s of having lived disempowered and not realizing that we have always been in the driver’s seat.  If we begin to see/accept that we have chosen every single one of our life experiences (this occurs through acceptance of what was/is) then we can begin to see how our identity has been chosen by us.  This is a breath of fresh air because that means we can also choose anew at any moment.

The assumptions we have about who we are also come with a lens of perception.  That lens of perception becomes the filter with which we then view ourselves through.  Meaning say that we have an assumption that we are weak, strong, cold, warm, unloving, loving, kind, unkind, likable or unlikeable, etc. then we experience ourselves as those qualities and we also view our world from that perception of ourselves.  This is quite literally how we “create our reality”.  Our reality is created by who it is that we think we are and that lens of perception than filters everything we see.  This is why if we want to change our reality (i.e. experience of life) we must actually just change ourselves, as reality follows our perception which comes from our sense of identity.  

Final Becoming 

Relinquishing our role identities 

Surreal portraitOne of the ways to bring more awareness to the self-discovery process of who it is you believe yourself to be is to take a look at your roles, and the responsibilities and activities that come along with them.  These are often indicators as to who it is we think that we are.  Perhaps you are a business man/woman, a scientist, doctor, community leader, a father/mother, daughter/son, wife/husband, an organizer or planner, an athlete, outdoorsy, indoorsy, a reader, an adventurist, etc.  Looking at your roles provides insight into who it is you identify yourself as being.

Again who it is you identify yourself as being is how you will experience yourself and the world.  Let’s say for example that you have the role of being a “wife” or an “athlete”.  Often when we take on a role, we identify as being that role.  You think that you are a wife or an athlete and therefore that role becomes part of your identity.  Every role always comes with some level of expectation of how we must show up within that role.  That expectation could be created by us or have been created by others.  Either way if we’ve agreed with ourselves that a particular expectation lives within a certain role, and if we don’t fulfill those expectations, then we take it as a personal deficit.  

The truth is that we are not our roles, nor the responsibilities or activities that come along with them, but because we are merged as the role then when we don’t meet those role’s responsibilities or perform the activities associated with the role we feel bad about ourselves.  The self that we feel bad about is not our true self.  The self we feel bad about is only the one with which we’ve come to identify ourselves as through becoming the role.  To relinquish being merged with our role’s identities doesn’t mean that we can’t/don’t still participate in the responsibilities and activities that come along these roles.  It simply means that we don’t identify ourselves as the role.  The falling away of being merged with any and all roles is what allows you to taste and know your true self, which is beyond any and all roles.  This is the final becoming.  

Simply put the process is this.  Fully accept yourself as you think you are right now.  Investigate your roles and decipher who it is that you’ve created yourself to be.  See how that has filtered your entire perception of life.  Recognize the power of think it, feel it, become it.  Who is it that you desire to be now?  Through full acceptance of who you’ve been there is no longer resistance or incongruence with who you are wanting to become.  Think and feel your current desire of who you want to be often.  Realize that the final becoming is the embrace of all the things you have thought that you are not.  This allows you to realize that you are all and ultimately that you are the chooser/becomer of whatever becomes and not the becoming itself.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal  Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Healing through being

Healing through being 

What healing is & how it occurs

Old vintage oval mirror standing on wooden tableThe cultural belief is that one person must do something to another person often via some tool, technique or device, in order for the person to heal from what is seemingly ailing them.  Everything from our modern medical establishment to the plethora of healers with their healing modalities reinforces this belief.  There are ever so few people out there including healers, no matter how alternative they are in their thinking or methods, that really understand what healing is and how it occurs.  

Healing is 100% an inside job.  It is all about your perception and relationship to what is.  Tools, techniques, devices, healers, etc are all simply permission slips for the already whole state to be mirrored to you and accepted by you.  The reason why some methods or healers seem to be better or more effective than others is because the mode of presentation of the method or the person is more acceptable to you.  Meaning you feel some resonance with either the person/healer or the tool and therefore it is a better permission slip for you; you more easily accept that it will work for you and therefore it does.  This is why some things or healers appear to work for some people and not for others.  It is really never about the thing/healer, as the thing or person is inherently neutral.  Instead it is all about what lands for you and gives you a sense of an inner “yes”.  You must follow that inner yes as it will guide you to those things which will work best for you and which your being is most receptive too.  Until you are fully rested in the knowingness of your wholeness having mirrors and permission slips is vitally important.  

It is my experience and understanding that the true role of the healer is not to “do” anything.  Instead the role is simply that of a mirror that reflects the true, whole essence.  Call that reflection love if you will.  A healer simply reflects love so that when you are in the presence of such healer you see your true self, which is love.  Love is perfection, completion, and wholeness so therefore when you see yourself as this everything in your seeming external environment (including your body) becomes that.  Everything follows your perception.  When your perception sees love, knows love, then everything becomes love.   Seeing through the lens of love or wholeness is what healing is and how it occurs.   

Healing through being 

True health is a state of well-being

Attractive young woman in white meditating at lake.Due to the fact that we are largely focused on doing, rather than being, our focus is almost perpetually on what is being done rather than the state of presence or being itself.  If enough has been done, changed or accomplished than we feel successful.  We almost never gauge our success on how well we “be-ed” today.  This is also true when we look at our own healing.  We tend to focus on what has physically changed as a measure of success, meaning did the symptoms go away.  Symptoms going away actually has relatively little to do with healing.  A person can be symptom free and not be healthy.  A person can have multiple symptoms but be in a state of pure presence, love and grace (state of being rather than doing).   To be healthy is to be in a state of well-being.  The mere presence or absence of symptoms is a crappy indicator of a state of health despite what we have been brainwashed to believe.

When I am working with someone no matter what tool, form or technique that I am using, my focus is not on what is being done, but instead on the nature of existence or awareness.  It is a focus on beingness and the perfected acceptance of all that is, including you.  When that reflection of perfection is received by you the effects of that are frequently that something seems to have changed or been done.  This can be noticed by changes in your physical form, such as how a place in your body is opening or shifting, or some movement of energy, but a change in the physical is not a requirement for healing to occur.  You can still have symptoms, but be in a state of pure, perfected, bliss and oneness, where the presence or absence of symptoms doesn’t even touch you because you are so rested in perfected love.

It is when we develop resistance to what is that our state of being (aka health) declines.  Resistance is the state of being that equals ill health.  Just how many people are fighting or trying to change the appearance of what is, thinking that the harder they fight and the more seemingly unflawed the appearance (aka body), the more healed they will become?  I’d say just about pretty much everyone thinks this way.  We resist because our mind tells us that we don’t like what is, or that what is is bad or wrong, or that it means something negative, but what if through acceptance of what is (rather than the fight to fix or conquer it) we found all the healing that we are seeking for so badly.  What if it has never been about what is done to you, but instead your relationship to what is, which by the way is 100% in your control.  What if your healing has been within your power all along.  I’m here to tell you confidently that is has, its just that the path has seemed a bit cloudy.  I’m here to help clear the clouds so that that which already is can be seen and accepted by you.  

Acceptance doesn’t mean that things don’t still occur or aren’t seemingly still done.  Things occur.  Movement happens. Appearances, including your body and symptoms, change.  Your life can be undergoing major transitions and transformations.  Its simply that your well-being isn’t dependent on what is occurring anymore.  You’ve transcended the need to control circumstances, again including your body, and you now allow and move with whatever arises within your experience, all the while learning and growing and being rested in knowing that all is perfectly well.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Claiming what you want

Claiming what you want 

Finding the fuel for change

28365465 - fictional forest hunter girl with bow and arrowThere are a thousand million reasons why we don’t claim what we want.  We think we aren’t worth it, can’t have it, don’t deserve it, are incapable of it, don’t know how to claim it, aren’t qualified, and on and on.  In fact frequently we keep our desires hidden even from ourselves.  We don’t want anyone to see what we really want because we feel shame, inadequacy or unworthy of what we desire.  Often underneath it all we feel that what we desire might un-include us from our groups, friends, families or society.  If we really investigate our relationship with desire we might even find that we have a negative relationship to desire itself.  As if desire is something bad or sinful.

We aren’t really taught to focus on what we desire.  Instead we are taught to “do the right thing”.  Meaning to do what everyone else does and what has been culturally agreed upon and accepted.  Most people are living in this way and they don’t even fully realize that they are not living in alignment or connected with what they desire.  If fact they’ve deluded themselves to whatever degree they’ve been able to that they actually want what they’ve been told they want without ever investigating for themselves if its actually true.  So it gets really tricky to see the truth of ourselves and sometimes the only way that you can notice that you aren’t living connected to your desire, but rather to simply “do” this thing called life, is a subtle sense of low energy.  Other signs are not feeling an aliveness inside, not feeling your heart open, noticing a flatness or dullness or feeling unable to connect to yourself or others fully.  

Really what needs to happen is that you need to begin to see how the activities you are currently engaged in, people/groups you hang out with or ways in which you spend your day to day activities don’t resonate for you.  It may not be that all things, people or activities fall into that category, but if you begin to really honestly take a look you will find some that don’t resonate and yet you are continuing to engage with them. 

Committing to yourself 

Energizing effort

warriorIf you are really honest you should begin to feel a sense of frustration with engaging in those things which don’t resonate for you.  Often what happens is people get to this point of feeling frustration (or sense of feeling stuck) and perceiving the frustration as bad, so they look for ways to alleviate this tension that is building.  They might watch a movie, play a video game, eat some food, drink some wine, have sex, scroll Facebook, etc.  They now feel less tension, but they also have less energy for change.  Alleviating the build up of tension will always drop the energy that is available to you to move towards what it is you truly desire.  

With this drop in energy your consciousness also drops into a state of powerlessness or helplessness to be able to do anything about your own life.  You actually believe that you can’t do anything.  That its just hopeless and quite possibly will just always be this way.  Essentially that you can’t change, and you really feel that you changing is not up to you.  That its up to some external circumstances or forces, and that unless the circumstances (which include your body) somehow magically changes, you’re doomed.  This is disempowerment.  This is disconnection.  This is lack of awareness of your self.  And it fucking sucks.  

Moving from perceiving powerlessness to realizing that you are the one with the power is a tremendous shift in consciousness and energy.  When you are brutally honest with yourself and claim what you want the power arises, the energy arises, the determination arises.  You become unstoppable.  Its going to happen.  There is no longer any doubt or question about it.  Yes there is work, yes there is stuff to be done, but rather than it feeling like draining effort it becomes energizing effort.  Effort which produces what you desire, which is always fulfilling rather than depleting even if the physical body gets tired.  This is the difference between acting from your alignment/desires versus working from a place of nonalignment with self.  When you are out of alignment everything will feel like massively hard work even if its just cleaning out your refrigerator or taking a shower.  When you’re in alignment the focus is no longer on the activity, but on your desire and alignment.  The activity itself becomes a non-issue and your desire the only thing that matters.

Discover what you truly desire.  Bring it into focus multiple times a day.  Speak it out loud.  Share it will people even if you feel timid or unworthy of it.  This will bring it more and more into the field of your awareness and strengthen your commitment to you.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado