LEARNING WITHOUT FAULT

LEARNING WITHOUT FAULT

There is no self-deficiency in learning

Learning is the natural rhythm of life.  From my perspective everything is learning.  Many of you have heard me say this time and time again.  All too often we get caught up in what is occurring, meaning the content of what is happening and what we think it means, and we forget that there is a bigger overarching learning at play.  We lose sight of the learning and begin to take the content of what’s happening seriously, as if we are going to lose something valuable if we don’t.  We think we somehow need to grasp onto the content, rather than recognize all as learning and not as something to hold onto or keep in place.  As I see it, the intention of life is learning and sharing.  There isn’t anywhere in particular to arrive or any place to get that is better than where we are now.  There is only learning at and in, each stage of our development.  

When we take the content of life seriously and forget that all is learning we tend to live in scarcity, fear, blame, fault and self-hatred.  Our life becomes a series of subtle control and manipulation attempts to make sure that we feel ok.  We compromise ourselves in order to feel safe, and escape from learning because we see it as too threatening to what we have and who we are.  We attempt to hold onto the stuff of our life, particular our identity, at all costs because we perceive threat rather than learning.  When we are confronted by learning, but choose safety instead, we walk with our guards up and defenses engaged, ready to protect ourselves from learning which we perceive as threat.  

When you remember that all is learning you instantly stop creating fault, because there is no fault in learning.  Learning does not imply deficiency, even though we relate to it as if it does.  We believe that if we don’t know or haven’t learned something then we aren’t meeting the mark, something is wrong with us, or we are behind.  We create all kind of stories that we are never going to get it, that we are bad or that no one will love us because we are undeveloped in such or such way.  We traverse the pathway of self-hatred believing that we are somehow not enough or unworthy because of the learning that is presenting itself and that we don’t already know it.  We really must stop and ask ourselves the questions: how did we become so defensive to learning and why do we have such resistance to growth, change and seeing ourselves in novel ways?  When you realize that all of your defensiveness is really just protection, protection from learning, it starts to all seem quite silly.  When the very thing we say we want is healing and growth, and yet we shut ourselves off or down from learning, we find out just how absurd all of our protection really is.   

LEARNING IN INNOCENCE 

All learning is remembering

There is an innocence, a rarified purity, at the core of each and every one of us.  It’s that which is untouched even by our own self-critical and judgmental mind.  That innocence knows only itself and its self is love.  It is the bliss that passes all understanding.  That essence so fully knows itself already because it remains untouched by all of experience.  Yet the you that you currently know yourself to be has been immersed in experience for many, many years.  Experience is content, and when content fills the screen of our awareness we lose sight of ourselves, of the pure, innocent, fully awake being that is who/what we are.  This is not a problem, but it does create the necessity for learning, for remembering ourselves.

How I see it is that all learning is remembering.  We have simply lost focus of ourselves, and therefore we get to have experiences that point us into the direction of remembrance.  Experience is learning, and all learning is remembering.  If you can grok this you can see that learning can never be based in deficiency, but rather only in forgetting or having lost focus of your essence.  There is no fault in this, there is only the game of finding your way back to yourself.  The moment you take yourself or your experience seriously, as something that needs to be fixed or solved, you’ve stopped forward momentum towards your self on the game board of life.  This is often experienced as feeling lost, stagnate, stuck, depressed, anxious, and tense.  

Innocence and purity is what you are.  Bliss and love are the core flavors or your being.  All else is experience/content that is placed on top of that.  Don’t confuse yourself for the content of your life.  Don’t misidentify yourself as the labels you or others have given you.  You are without labels.  This does not negate self-responsibility.  In fact it does the opposite.  It makes you fully responsible to your own remembering of yourself, which is the prime impulse of this entire creation.  The desire to remember ourselves is what drives this entire universe back towards itself, towards its primordial knowing.  This is what is called awakening.  Your remembering, your awakening, is not outside of your reach.  It is inside of experience.  It is the core of all learning.  If you push away learning, or you push away yourself because of learning that presents itself, than you push away your awakening of remembering more of you.  

Learn to welcome learning.  Stay in open invitation to the mirrors that show themselves to you.  They are your allies, your guides, your messengers from you to you.  They will guide you home, to yourself.  It’s impossible that any aspect of life, in its infinite expressions, could ever not be included in the all that is.  That means that all forgetting, all learning, all remembering, all of what we are now, is part of the perfect orchestration of creation.  There is no fault in your forgetting.  There is no fault in your learning.  It is as it should be.  Recognize and play the game.  Have fun.  Embrace yourself as you are now.  Nothing is lost.  All is fully complete and abundant.  Radiate and be who, what and where you are now and for eternity.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

ATTEMPTING TO FIND PERFECTION

ATTEMPTING TO FIND  PERFECTION

Restless endeavors to arrive

So often we are attempting to find the perfect state.  That state of being where everything is calm, we feel rested, and things are in their place just as we’d like them to be.  This state of perceived rested completion gives us permission to feel settled and peaceful.  Yet most of the time life is in flux and motion.  Pieces and parts are moving, things are changing and growing, and perfection seems like a far off distant place.  During such rhythms we may feel tired, heavy, or experience a sense of overwhelm, chaos or out of “control-ness”as the shear amount of activity continues and continues without a seeming end point.  We tend to perceive these rhythms, which are predominant in our experience, as something to get through, or a work in progress, rather than seeing the perfection that already is inside of them.  We strive to get somewhere so that we can give ourselves the permission to feel a sense of completion.

While it’s often not our deliberate intention to strive to arrive somewhere rather than be present with where we are now, it is how most people operate.  We have been deeply conditioned that there is somewhere to get.  Most minds have trouble believing other than this as they project a future that sees potentials, possibilities and desired outcomes.  Within this projection there is a restlessness with what is here now.  That restlessness is sourced in a perception of lack, the belief/feeling that something is missing, something that we feel needs to be or that we want to be present.  Due to our perception that lack is, we become restless.  We find ourselves wanting to feel complete or a sense of completion, yet the lens that our mind looks through is one that sees what’s not.  This perception of lack is the root of all of restlessness and our attempts to find perfection elsewhere in some other moment or circumstance.

Due to the fact that most people base their state of being and the lens they choose to look through on the circumstances that are showing up in their life, it is easy to attempt to find perfection through making all the stuff look or feel right.  If things are messy or not where we want them to be, or if we feel tired, heavy or have other various sensations in our body, we often match our state of being to those things.  What most people don’t realize is that they get to choose their state of being despite whatever is showing up in their life or body.  Simply because you are tired or experiencing certain sensations in your body doesn’t mean you can’t be present, or that anything is wrong.  Simply because something hasn’t manifested itself physically into your direct sensorial experience doesn’t mean that anything is lacking in you or in life.  When you get this you see that is doesn’t matter at all what’s happening or not happening because you arrive in the present moment that is fully complete and abundant in and of itself. 

RESTED COMPLETION 

It’s in your hands

The only thing that stands between you and a sense of rested completion (aka presence) is the perception that anything should be other than it is.  When you stop insisting that what is appearing should appear differently you experience the peace that passes all understanding.  All restlessness is an inner battle.  The battle being the conflict in the mind of what it wants to see, and what it perceives it is seeing that is other than what it wants to see.  It has nothing to do with the experience or appearance of things, and yet the mind projects out onto the experience its inner resistance of what is.  It then appears to us that it is the thing that is responsible for how we feel, rather than us having any ownership in the way that we feel.  

When we give away our power to the appearance of life we are easily swayed by our experiences.  We don’t feel stable in ourselves and we don’t feel that what we feel is up to us.  The bigger truth is that however it is that we feel or don’t feel, however it is that we show up or don’t show up, however it is that we are present or not, is entirely up to us.  It is your decision to choose your state of being.  Its not up to a sensation in your body, its not dependent on certain people being in or out of your experience, it doesn’t matter how much sleep you got, what foods you ate, how much money you have, how the stars are aligning or anything else.  At all times you choose your state independent of the stuff of experience.

I suggest getting in the habit of deliberately choosing how it is you want to feel, be, show up and see yourself and the world each and every day.  Without the deliberate choosing you will default to the state of being that is most familiar to you.  When instead you consciously choose, you lift yourself through experiences that would otherwise bog you down and where you might attempt to get through it rather than be present.  When you choose your state of being in this manner it is easier and easier to not want to get anywhere other than where you are, and to sink into your experience.  This sinking into your experience allows you to feel the completion that is here now in this moment despite what the appearance of the experience looks like.

As much as we try we can’t force life, we can only learn how to participate with it.  To listen and to be guided as to how life wants to move through us.  Like I say often, this life isn’t about us.  It isn’t about our dreams, desires and ideas coming into fruition.  While I believe it’s our responsibility to follow the call of our soul and act on our dreams, desires and ideas, it is not up to us to force them to happen in any particular way.  There is an infinitely aware universal intelligence at play and we are part of the orchestration of much that is outside of our mind’s limited awareness.  Our learning is in faith and surrender.  Trust that all is well.  Trust that you are perfectly playing your part.  It could be no other way.  All is well, all is perfect, now and forevermore.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

STRETCHING OPEN

STRETCHING OPEN 

New ranges of motion

We tend to live in a pretty comfortable range of motion of ourselves.  This range is a container, box or bandwidth that includes who and what we know ourselves to be.  We often don’t even know that we are living our life inside of this range, it’s simply what we know.  There wouldn’t even be the thought to question or stretch it because we are merged as it.  However there comes a rhythm where we know we need to stretch.  We feel the confinement and don’t even really know what we are confined in.  We simply feel that the clothes we are wearing are too tight and a sense of restlessness and impeding uncomfortableness is on the horizon.  

When we hit the point where the way we have been living, operating and viewing ourselves from is too small or limited we must stretch.  That stretch occurs outside of the normal range of motion.  Due to the fact that it is beyond where we normally hang out, or perhaps have ever been, it feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar.  That uncomfortableness can deter people from stretching.  If the stretch is deferred then we will go back into our familiar range, inside our familiar box of self, but feel slightly miserable.  Often our tolerance for misery is high, some people even pride themselves in this.  Yet this high tolerance to low level misery is the enemy of stretching out of our current range of motion.

The pain of staying inside of our limited perspective, with it habits and ways of functioning, must become greater than the perceived pain of uncomfortableness, uncertainty and the potential lack of something we aren’t even really clear about, but which boils down to loss of love in some form or another.  If the pain doesn’t become greater, or our tolerance is exceptionally high for misery, then we will stay un-stretched and feel ourselves slowly wither away as we resist our own change and progress.  When we thwart ourselves in such a way we remain in a sea of our own frustration, often feeling like nothing works and like we will never be different than we are.  If instead we use the fuel of misery, and allow, feel and actively participate with the stretch, even though its uncomfortable and we don’t know what’s on the other side yet, we start the journey of going beyond the box of our current self.  The truth is that the range that we have been in has someway and somehow served us, perhaps even really, really well.  We must however be willing to un-attach to our ranges and release the aspects of our identity that are connected with those ranges, when the rhythm of stretch presents itself.   

EMBODYING YOUR STRETCH 

Inviting change

When the rhythm of stretch presents itself it is ultimately stretching us open into more of ourselves.  It is not stretching us into some bad or wrong place even though our mind might try to convince us in these ways.  Stretching does however imply change.  Change in experience, change in feeling, and change in sense of self.  When I have you stretch certain parts of your body on the table it is the activation of stretching your range of motion and thus range of self of sense.  You may find it hard to stretch certain areas and easier for other areas.  You may feel not entirely present during the stretch or find yourself mechanically moving your body without your awareness behind it.  You may find yourself meet some resistance to the stretch or you may go into automatic pilot mode having stretched that area before.  

It is important to notice your experience of stretching.  How does it feel to stretch?  Where do you go?  Are you present? Does it feel hard?  Does it feel too easy?  Do you want to give up in the middle of it?  Do you want it to be over?  Are you bored and not present?  Are you slow to move?  Are you fast to move?  Do you release into the stretch?  Do you resist the stretch and maintain your holding patterns?  You can use these questions as a way to see how you respond to stretch in your life.  How we respond to stretch in our bodies is how we will respond to it in our lives.  

On a physiologically level when you stretch your body in the spots that I am touching it activates certain receptors in the tissues in that area.  The activation of those receptors allows oscillation to occur at the tissue level in the area of stretch.  That oscillation can be felt as vibration or energy at the area.  In Network terms this is the development of the energetic portion of the spinal gateway.  Remember the spinal gateways are those areas that get touched during entrainments and which grow into little energetic vortices as you continue to stretch them open.  As you stretch they grow.  They grow into your subtle energetic body, first reaching into your emotional body and then beyond that into your mental bodies.  When the spinal gateways are in subtle layers of your mental bodies you are able to more clearly see the boxes, stories and limited containers of self that you are in.  Through this sight you gain more energy for transformation and greater fuel to be ready to relinquish those more limited ranges of self that come from your limited perspectives.  

The stretch is the beginning of something anew.  It’s the birthplace of a new range.  You must stretch in order to come out of the birth canal so that the new expressions of you can come into form.  Yes it’s uncomfortable.  Yes it’s uncertain as to what will come out exactly.  Yet we must move forward.  We must emerge and we must be fully in.  Along the way of our emergence all that no longer works and no longer serves must go.  There simply isn’t room for it.  Holding onto it weighs us down and interferes with what’s coming through now.  There is a sweet love and a sweet goodbye to who we were.  There is deep gratitude for how it served and shared.  Now there is this here, a new range, a new expression, a new experience, a new sense of self, a new way to participate, and a new contribution and sharing.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

LOVING WHERE YOU ARE

LOVING WHERE YOU ARE

Ending the chase of what’s next

It is no secret that we live in a near constant state of trying to get somewhere.  We make goals, create plans, and think about what is next.  We measure our progress from start to finish and course correct along the way.  Without some degree of forward momentum, and the feeling that we are creating or accomplishing what we set out to do, we often feel stuck or stagnant.  This itch to be other than where we are creates a gap inside of our experience.  That gap is a self-created illusion where we believe that there is somewhere to get and somewhere we think we’d rather be.  When we place ourselves inside that gap we miss what’s here as we are ambitiously move towards what is next.  

Rarely do we rest into and love exactly where we are.  There are many reasons for this.  Many people believe that what is here is not enough so they constantly strive for more.  The moment they arrive anywhere is the same moment they jump back into the gap between here and what’s next.  That sense of not enoughness can be personal and express as always attempting to make themselves better (self-improvement can fall into this category), or it can be projected onto external circumstances by always finding a new thing or cause that needs to be improved.  This is not to say that things, causes or personality traits can’t be shifted to express in more coherent ways, they absolutely can, but when it comes from a place of scarcity in where you are rather than abundance in where you are, its rooted rejection rather than acceptance.  This leads to a constant chase in attempting to get, rather than devoted service to what you love.

Other reasons people don’t rest and love exactly where they are is because they don’t trust that what’s here is good and right.  They have a belief that something is wrong or bad with what is present and that they must somehow change it in order for it to be good and right.  They bypass the goodness and rightness that’s here for their belief that it lives somewhere else.  In my opinion this is the true spiritual bypass.  People also tend to believe that the conditions of their life are dependent on them being able to fully express and be themselves, but this is backwards.  You fully expressing and being yourself creates the conditions of your life.  Since people believe the other way around they will go about trying to make the conditions of their life match their mind’s idea of what it thinks it needs in order to be rested and in love here.  This chasing of conditions is tempting because it seems to go somewhere and things appear to be happening in a forward direction, however it leads only to continuing your postponement of loving where you are.  Some people postpone in such a way for their entire life. 

MAKING CHANGE IN LOVE 

How you source

We tend to believe that we can’t make change in love.  Historically we have needed to be fed up, dissatisfied and frustrated with what is in order to have the fuel to create change in ourselves or the world.  Can you even fathom what it would be like to love where you are and also create movement or change?  I believe this is how it is done in most portions of the universe, but here on planet Earth we haven’t quite learned this yet.  We still hold strong to states of pain, suffering and dissatisfaction being our primary fuel for change.  Be clear that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, in fact it is currently required, I’m simply inviting that there is another way.  

In this moment entertain, feel, channel or drop into a state of full love and acceptance.  Do so right now in this very moment.  As you do notice how much energy becomes available to you.  Notice how you naturally overflow and emanate lightness and joy.  Feel the levity and also the fullness that’s here.  This is always here, its simply that you haven’t practiced paying attention in this way.  Instead you’ve practiced paying attention to what doesn’t work or feel good and for lack of a better term, lower states of energy.  You’ve focused on what has to be done, what needs fixed or improved, and how something is better somewhere other than here now.  You’ve created distance, but understand that this distance isn’t real.  Its a concept, a thought in your mind, nothing else.  It has no separate existence outside of your thought of it.  Just as easily as you create that thought of something will be better in the distance, you can create a thought of amazingness of what’s here right now.  

Just through the simplicity of shifting your focus you dramatically shift your energy state.  The more energy you feel the more easily movement and change naturally flow through you.  You don’t need to dislike or feel frustrated about what is in order to find a source of energy to create change.  You can both love what is now and then love what is next when it becomes now.  You don’t have to choose to love one moment over the next moment, you get to love both, and the changes that need to occur will.  The only real requirements are to watch where your focus goes and be in charge of it.  Deliberately choose the focus of your desire and know that it will determine the energy level that is available to you and how change will move through you.

To love what is, is to dissolve your agenda for what must be.  In giving your life over to your mission, to your purpose, to why you are, over and over and over again, you will always find yourself perfectly positioned and therefore life will also appear perfectly positioned to you.  You can’t find anything out there because there is no out there.  Distance is made up by you.  Your sense of location is unreal.  You can never actually move, you can only be.  Choose your being wisely through how you focus.  Know that change will always happen, but how it happens is up to you.  How you source your change makes all the difference.  Change sourced through love breeds more love.  Its silly to think other and yet many do.  Where you start you will end.  Where you create from will determine the creation. 

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

EVERYTHING IS MAGIC

EVERYTHING IS MAGIC 

Waking up to reality

Most people are excitement chasers, chasing the next thing and the next thing and the next thing that seems to promise a sense of aliveness inside of it.  Little time do most people want to spend in the grunt work, or in what they perceive to be ordinary or dull.  Most people have a fundamental and often elusive belief that some things are magically and others aren’t.  Due to the fact that most people have this belief, they end up polarizing themselves inside of their experience and make the assumption that some experiences or states of being are better than others.  When they find themselves in an undesirable experience or state of being they attempt to find the quickest route out.  

The thing with attempting to find the quickest route out is that we don’t give ourselves the experience of going through.  Therefore when we find ourselves in a similar experience or state of being in the future we don’t have the capacity to be present inside of it and continue to find ways to escape or withdraw from it.   We then wonder why we aren’t stably rested and centered in ourselves and can’t figure out why we don’t seem to be in control of ourselves.  You can’t expect to be stably rested in yourself if you avoid, push away, judge or make wrong certain states of being, experiences or aspects of yourself.  Anything that is pushed away creates a ripple or distortion in the coherence of your beingness.  That distortion then becomes a filter through which you experience life.

Filters taint, dim, and skew what you see.  You see what you think rather than what is actually present.  You project an incomplete picture from a limited perspective.  You make judgements about what is rather than seeing what is.  Another way to say that is you experience your thoughts or your perspectives, and not what is really present.  See, what is present just is.  The present is inherently neutral and the substratum of presence is love or bliss.  This is the natural state of everything.  This is why everything is magic.  However when we place our judgments, ideas, and perspectives on top of what is, we get to experience life through the lenses that they are filtered by.  If instead we remove our filters (i.e. our judgments, beliefs and biases) then the lens gets cleared up and we perceive reality rather than our thoughts and perspectives of it.   

LIVING MAGIC  

Magic can’t not be

There is really two ways to approach living magic.  One is to stop giving anything labels, and with practice, start seeing the true nature of reality.  The other way is simply to decide with conviction to change your belief that some things are magical and others aren’t.  With as much conviction you have that some things are better than others, you can have as much conviction that they are not.  You really can in one full swift moment simply change your mind.  It doesn’t have to involve some big process, ah-ha or breakthrough.  You can just do it now.  Nothing is stopping you except you and your insistence to believe otherwise.

In this way the mud sparkles even if it remains looking like mud.  The uncomfortable conversation you need to have with your partner, friend, boss, parents or kids is complete with bliss even if it comes with uncomfortable sensations in your body.  Your emotions, even the ones you label as bad, are welcome because you understand that they don’t mean anything about you or anyone else.  They are just emotions, no more, no less.  The intense sensations that come at times from having a human nervous system are waves of energy organizing and moving themselves around, no more, no less. The grand significance you give some things diminishes and the grand insignificance you give other things also neutralizes, and it is anything but flat.  The dissolution of charge doesn’t equate to bland, nothingness, but rather total peace and presence.

While people desire peace and presence, they tend to desire their judgments more.  It is quite logical, the path to peace that is, but we are not logical nor do we decide from logic no matter how level headed we think we are.  We decide from our beliefs and conditions, and what we think is right, which is massively deluded.  Most of the time we don’t even know what the heck we believe or what conditions we live by and under.  So we are left with chasing what seems most magical and avoiding what doesn’t and holding our breath while hoping for the best.  This is circumstantial, disempowered “well-being”.

True well-being lives inside of your capacity to be willing to be present with whatever is present.  To not turn away.  To put your fingers in the mud and find how through doing so the mud turns into clay from which you create some piece of creation magic.  You can’t not create magic.  You can only think that it is possible to create something other than magic.  You also can’t not be or live magic.  You can only think you aren’t magical.  Your thoughts aren’t true.  What’s true is magic.  This can only be directly experienced to be known.  Dismantle your concepts, let go your judgments.  Nothing is better than the other.  No emotion or state of being is better than the other.  No appearance is better than the other.  It’s all magical creation created by a magical creator, which is you.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

RESOLVING CHARGE

RESOLVING CHARGE

Depolarizing our perspectives

Most people are familiar with charge.  Charge is polarization or activation in a particular perspective or way of thinking about an experience.  People deal with charge in different ways.  Some people get reactive and justify or defend their perspective, while others withdraw, become apathetic or move away from their experience.  Whether or not a person chooses to react or withdrawal, the charge remains unresolved in their system.  Unresolved charge perpetuates tension, irritation, restlessness and disconnection.  

Charge occurs because we have certain beliefs, perspectives and preferences about our experiences.  When our preferences or perspectives of an experience don’t match with what is actually occurring, we build up charge or resistance.  Another way to say this is that when we don’t want to accept what is occurring, because we want something else other than what is revealing itself to be happening, we create resistance.  Resistance is our attempt to not fully feel what is actually happening because its doesn’t feel good to us and it doesn’t align with what it is we think we want.  

Charge creates the experience of disruption to our sense of stable, rested beingness.  This means that it creates disruption in our capacity to be present and be of service in a way that supports others and supports interconnectedness.  So frequently people say that their desire is to be centered, unswayed, and rested in themselves no matter what is occurring.  Yet most people allow themselves to get pulled out of center by their very own perspectives and preferences.  There is nothing wrong with this, it’s simple that it creates an experience of being caught up in one’s own thoughts, rather than present to what is.  

In general I find that most people aren’t really aware of themselves in such a way to notice how they are creating their own experience of loss of centeredness or stability in self.  They don’t see that how they perceive an experience is what creates resistance, not the actual experience itself.  They also don’t want to feel how what is showing up is undesired or undesirable.  This creates the postponement of change in one’s life because when we are unwilling to feel what is, and that it is undesirable, then we don’t have the fuel to move on from our perspective and create the changes we desire in our state of being.  This keeps us in mental loops, which come with the feeling that we are stuck or can’t move on.   

FINDING YOUR WAY THROUGH

Death of your dreams

In order to resolve the charge it typically means that you must die to something.  That something is usually an idea, hope or desire you had about how an experience in your life, or life in general, would go or turn out.  This is often experienced as the death of a dream(s).  It is also referenced in spiritual circles as ego death, which is death of the individual purpose driven life.  As unappealing as this may sound, and as contradictory as it may seem to the self-empowerment movement, it is the portal to peace.  It is how you come to resolution, and become once again available to what is rather than what you’d hope was.  

It makes total and complete sense that we don’t want to feel death.  Death tends to not feel good to most of us so we move away from the experience of it.  We are not so willing to just plunge into death, so instead resistance to what is, is created.  We may find ourselves trying to tell ourselves we are ok with whatever is, but underneath it all we really aren’t.  We know we aren’t because we don’t feel absolute, total peace and resolve.  Rather we feel tense, but don’t know why.  We feel disconnected, but can’t figure out it logically.  We try to move forward, but feel we don’t know how.  Life seems to not be opening up for us because we aren’t opening into the death that needs to occur before rebirth can find its way through.  

By going into the portal of death you come to experience true surrender.  Surrender of your insistences, surrender to seeing your preferences being played out in the world, surrender to trying so hard to make things happen in a particular way, and you find yourself in a state of openness.   Open receptivity is our natural state of being minus all of the personal preferences and desires we create along the way of this human journey.  You become available to and for life, rather than to and for your own agendas, and the sense of untethered-ness to your own preferences is liberating.  To the person that you believe yourself to be this seems stupid and devastating, and yet only once you go through the portal of death of your dreams can you discover the freedom that lives here.  The freedom to simply be present with what is here, to be an open vessel of energy and information to give to life, to others and to other aspects of creation.  This is the only true fulfillment.  All else is only temporary gratification.  

To resolve charge is to be at peace and to be stably rested in yourself no matter what is occurring.  As you die to what you think you want and open to what is, you become harmony.  Though becoming harmony you share that frequency with all that you interact with in this world.  All then gets the opportunity to see, feel and find harmony within itself.  This is 100% within your capacity and ability.  It takes only the willingness to move towards what actually is and let it crack you open in whatever ways it does.  The heart then finds its expression and is your lived experience.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

BE USED

BE USED 

Merging your will with Source

There is a divine, perfect intelligence that orchestrates this entire universe. From the rotation of planets and galaxies, down to the minuet aspects of your daily life, all is precisely positioned.  It seems like we are making choices, and yet even the decisions we make, no matter how hard or easy they seem, are sourced from a source that knows.  Whether we are aware of that source or not doesn’t matter in relation to what occurs.  What occurs will occur, the decisions and choices we make will be equally informed.  The only difference is our experience of what occurs, not in the actual occurrence itself.

This is not to say that all is preplanned or predestined.  Rather it is to say that in each moment there is an intelligence that knows and it is constantly informing all that occurs.  When I say that it is only our experience of what occurs that differs, is to say that how we view, perceive and respond to the appearances of life is our free will.  Our free will isn’t necessarily in the deciding or choosing of what occurs (though it seems that way), but rather how we decide to participate with what shows up.  In this way it is not a “separate from” or “life happening to you” experience.  Instead you are moved by this intelligence that knows in a symbiotic way where you are one with the occurrences and the intelligence.  

In order to know life and experience it in this way, your will must be one with the will of the creator of this orchestrated dance.  That means that what you think should happen or passionately desire to happen in your personal life or in the larger collective, must be surrendered to what is happening.  This is really a very easy thing to do outside of the fact that we attach greatly to what we think should be, what we perceive to be better or best, and to what we want.  It’s not the thoughts or the desire for what we want to experience that create the obstacles for us, but rather our attachment to them happening.  When our attachment to them happening supersedes our capacity to be present with what is actually occurring we suffer.  Even our suffering is perfectly positioned, part of the cosmic orchestration, of the creator expressing itself in all its various flavors, with the intention of knowing itself and purifying its perspectives into it’s own original source.   

THE CREATOR’S WILL 

Magic & love for whatever is

It is first important to remember that nothing happens outside of the creator’s will.  When I use the terms: creator, source or intelligence, I mean them to all point towards the same “thing”.  Pointing to that which knows, that which is, that which is aware.  Nothing can happen outside of awareness, therefore nothing happens outside of the creator’s will.  This is why surrendering to what is, which is a giving away of all of your insistences, preferences and righteousness, aligns your will (your awareness) with that of the creator’s will.  You know you have arrived here when there is no longer any charge left in your body-mind about anything that is occurring.  This is the first state of being where you can actually be useful and be used.

To be useful or be used is to be of service to the creator’s will.  Many people have a negative relationship to being used because they feel disempowered or less than.  However the only aspect that “gets disempowered” when you surrender is your own personal agendas and perceptions of what should be.  Not until you surrender can you participate with more awareness, with this larger source or intelligence that guides all of creation and life.  Until you arrive in surrender there will be fight, push/pull, attempting to figure it out or conquering energies.  This is all a result of your own (and the collective’s) resistance with what is.  If we all dropped our righteousness instantly, no charge would remain and the experience of life on this planet, with this collective beings, would be harmonious.  

Some of you might think or say: what about all of the stuff that is wrong, could be better or needs to be fixed?  What I would say to that is that the creator knows all, sees all and creates all.  To surrender your personal opinions, ideas and judgments of what is best, to an all knowing source of infinite intelligence does not make you more stupid or less useful.  It does the very opposite.  It gives you access to wisdom and resourcefulness that would otherwise be unseen by you.  As we clear out our own vessels we are better able to listen and follow.  We can more readily take action where the creator’s will moves us to take action.  When you realize your life is not about you, but rather that there is a much bigger game being played, you willingly take your position as a pawn on the board and let yourself be played.  

The result is magic and love for whatever is.  You get to fully participate in the present with what is.  You stop living in ideas and story, and open yourself to the mystery of creation happening now and now and now.  There is never dullness.  There is still feeling, desire and passion.  There is lots of movement.  There is clarity in not knowing, but in being moved, guided and used by that which does know.  There is deep satisfaction and fulfillment because you know nothing else more perfect could ever be other than what is now, and you share that knowing with every energy and person you meet.  You are in love and connection, and that love and connection consciously brings the will of the creator through you, and happening for all.  This is the creator’s will. 

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration

DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE 

Plunging into the subconscious 

Tumbling, tumbling, tumbling down the rabbit hole, like Alice in Wonderland, is synonymous to diving into your subconscious. The subconscious mind is that aspect of mind that is accessible in dream time, during altered states of consciousness and in meditative states.  Our subconscious holds information about our current life, and information from other places and points on our timeline. Simply because our subconscious mind isn’t in the forefront of our everyday awareness doesn’t mean that we can’t learn how to readily access it and integrate the information that it stores. In fact accessing our subconscious mind regularly is what allows us to become more fully aware of ourselves and live more awake to all that we are.

Found within the subconscious mind is a storehouse of beliefs that we live our waking lives by.  These beliefs create the reality we perceive and experiences that we have.  In tumbling down the rabbit hole of our subconscious minds we often stop at various spots along the way.  When we stop in a particular location we get an opportunity to see some aspect of ourselves at that place.  This means that we get to explore a belief we have, or a way that we see the world that we couldn’t see in our more ordinary state of being.  Once we see the belief, the opportunity to change it becomes available.  Other things that stop our tumble are when our higher self wants to show us things that will support our current journey that were previously illusive to us. Such things might be a particular truth or knowing, a vision or skill/ability that we have but forget we had, or other knowings that support our level of participation in our earthly life and experience. Lastly at times we stop our tumble in a particular location in order to integrate experiences that we’ve had during or before this life that we haven’t been able to fully process.  

The journey of tumbling down into our subconscious mind is vital to the process of “waking” up, of becoming more aware, more illuminated.  To bring the light of our awareness to these un-illuminated aspects of self is the spiritual journey.  Without deliberating taking on this journey your growth as a soul is supported by the field of the collective that does take on this journey, but the self-generated momentum is not present.  This means that relative forward soul progression (ie. waking up) will occur, but only secondary to the pace of the larger collective field.  Your deliberate, conscious choosing of the tumble down the rabbit hole will accelerate and create a self-generated fuel source within your own field.  This will contribute to your individuated soul/field consciousness and also the larger body that aligns with the intention of illuminating human consciousness.  

HOW FAR DOES THE HOLE GO? 

Keep tumbling down

Just how far down does the hole of our subconscious go?  As far as I know, it’s infinite. It has no end.  Sometimes we plunge down the hole and we think that it ends somewhere. We think we will find a bottom and at that bottom we will have “arrived”. Arrived where exactly is a question one should investigate if they find themselves stopped somewhere.  Some assume that they will arrive at enlightenment or eternal peace and joy.  I will say that there are locations along the way, of the plunge into the rabbit hole, that are ecstatic, blissful, and feel deeply free.  Places of pure clarity, knowing and seeing.  Yet if we find ourselves stopped at a location experiencing these states, we have only arrived in a location that has different knowings, beliefs and allowances then the location we currently spend the vast majority of our consciousness.  We haven’t arrived “at the end” of anything. As far as I can tell there is no end, so to assume an end is to end artificially.  To stop your tumble and believe that, that is it, no matter how blissful, is to cap your expansion as a soul. 

The key is to keep tumbling.  To only stop where there is relevance.  To not get distracted by thoughts, sensations and other experiences along the way that halt your further deepening.  To not grab onto anything or attempt to stop the tumble in order to figure things out.  To instead stay in free fall.  The tendency of our minds is to want to grab onto something familiar or something shinny.  The free fall feels, well free, and that is often too much for our constrained, contained and controlled mind.  So we grab to find some ground of stability and familiarity inside of our experience rather then staying in free fall, rather than staying in the mystery of what is.

Our perceived need of certainty, to know or understand what is happening, interferes with our fall and thus our freedom.  Many doubt that they can live in the mystery of not knowing. They believe that they can’t make decisions, get things done or feel safe if they don’t know what to expect or do.  Essentially they don’t trust, they don’t have faith. This lack of faith leads to us feeling like we have to rely on our own mind’s knowing or our own self.  While most live their entire life in this manner, it is exhausting, depleting and clouded from the knowing of self, of Light, of God.

If one desires to know self and live reality rather than mind created illusion, than one must be willing to continue tumbling. If you haven’t started the fall into your subconscious, begin there. Take your first step into the hole and see what’s there.  If you’ve visited several times now see how far you’re willing to fall without getting distracted or grabbing on. If you find yourself stopped, look for learning or relevance there.  Stay until it feels complete.  Then continue to tumble.   Notice how you can live in this ordinary reality in total innocence, in the mystery, allowing the moment to reveal itself through you.  Don’t mind what things look like and don’t mind what happens. Grasp not to any idea, thought or sensation.  In this way your being becomes a vessel filled with God, with infinite energy and intelligence.  That is all that is and all that matters.  Empty of personal agenda and motivation your body-mind is moved as God.  All that is, is.  Everything is here now.  One will.  One God.  One being.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

ATTUNEMENT

ATTUNEMENT 

Harmony with self & other

Attunement seems to be a rarity in today’s age.  To attune is to bring harmony or tune with another’s rhythms and their emotional/spiritual well-being.  When one is attuning with, or attuned to another, there is a sense of connectedness between the two and of being met and seen.  Most people very much desire attunement because when they are attuned to they know that someone else is present, paying attention, invested, and involved.  It allows the person to relax and not have to fight for the presence of another.  Yet in today’s world we are ensued in the world of distraction.  We are hyper-focused on our phones, social media, email, news, and all of the noise it creates inside of our heads.  It leaves very little room for us to be present and in relationship with others in a way that is human, rather than robotic or purely functional.  

Our massive lack of attunement to others (and to ourselves) results in a sense of aloneness or disconnection.  In a world that is highly interdependent on and with other beings this sets up quite a predicament.  It can feel like no one is there, that people don’t show up and that they don’t care.  This makes us become super self-reliant, which at an extreme level makes it challenging for us to receive support when support does actually present itself, and beyond that we may even push support away.  Also when we are not attuned to ourselves we feel disconnected from our own inner rhythms and from knowing what is going on inside of us.  The only thing that seems to get our attention is strong physical sensations (ie. pain or hunger) or mental-emotional intensity, while the subtle nature of our being remains elusive to us.  

While at our deepest level we desire attunement, it can also feel uncomfortable if we are not used to it, which many of us are not.  Attunement is intimate.  It sees you, but you must also allow yourself to be seen in order to fully receive that attuning.  Most people have many layers of protection or defense that they place around themselves due to previous pains and hurts.  Those layers become barriers to allowing ourselves to drink in the nurturance that attunement provides.  So even if attunement is present often we can’t fully let it in based on the protection we’ve created around ourselves from previous experiences.  Its like listening to the symphony with head phones on and ear plugs in.  You may be able to hear some semblance of the musical harmony being offered, but there are layers in the way of you being able to fully hear and receive it.   

ATTUNING, HARMONIZING & ENTRAINING 

Into the heart

Attuning with, harmonizing or entraining (which are all the same thing) with another being allows for a shared experience when both beings are receptive to it.  Attunement requires heart, presence and caring.  If you don’t care or have desire for others than you won’t experience attunement with them.  Seems obvious, but maybe not for all, as some people truly don’t see or understand why they don’t experience the level of connection with self or others that they desire.  The field, intelligence and energy of the heart is what allows you to go beyond individual person into interconnectedness.  Without heart there is separate individuated beings doing their own thing, which pretty much sums up a large portion of how our society thinks and functions.  With heart there is a interwoven web of beingness all impacting itself, which is the next level of development for the beings on this planet to reach.  

From time to time people express to me that they want more experience from their experience, whether on the table during a session or in their life with others (I find the two to be synonymous).  They want to feel more or experience more, even if they don’t know what it is exactly that they to feel or experience more of.  Others are more clear in their desire.  They know they want to be more expansive, feel more connected, be more aware of subtlety or of their energetic nature, experience more inter-dimensionality, feel more loving, more bliss, more ecstatic, more open.  The first thing I say is that it is important to get clear on exactly what it is you want in the first place.  Put words to it.  Begin to feel it already and notice where you might have even the subtlest amount of resistance, doubt or uncertainty around what you think you want to more of.  These are layers or protection that interfere with you being able to attune and harmonize with your desires.  The second thing I say is that our very nature is all of those things: open, bliss, love, and infinitely deep and expansive.  There is no lack of open, ecstatic bliss because it is what you are.  It is not a destination to get to, but a realization of what you already are.  Notice where you put your “wholeness” in the future, where it seems unattainable or where you feel undeserving of it.  These are more layers that create interference.  Lastly I say that all of those things desired are found in the heart.  Opening into love for self and love for others is a portal into having the ability to connect to all levels of yourself and all aspects of other.  This provides the capacity for attuning to others and the willingness to be attuned too, which at our deepest level we are all starving for.

Attuning, harmonizing and entraining is the core of all relationships.  There is no real relationship without them.  There may be practicalities that get carried out, but no real connection occurs inside of a relationship without the capacity and willingness for attunement.  While practicalities are important they are not the juice of life that make us come alive and feel that life is worth living.  Instead relating, community, connection, interconnectedness, and the play of the heart are what lights us up.  This is where we forget all the things we thought where so important to remember, figure out, heal or know.  We forget about all the stuff we think we want to get and all the places we want to go.  We become present.  We are here.  Infinite energy, possibilities and connection live here now.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder CO

PLAYING PATTERNS

PLAYING PATTERNS 

The matrix of creation

We all have patterns that we play out.  Patterns are strategies and ways of being that we’ve learned throughout our life in order to function and survive as a human being.  Patterns are not bad or good, they are simply what we’ve learned.  I’d say the majority of the population is not even aware that they operate utilizing learned patterns, but rather they believe that they are their patterns.  The bigger gestalt of our patterns make up our personality, which is often how we view ourselves or how others view us.  Without any patterns we would simply be what we are, which is pure awareness or love-light without conditioning.  Love-light is the substratum for all patterns or conditions to arise up out of.  There can be an intuitive knowing of this or a felt sense of what we are, yet largely most of us are identified as our personalities, aka as our patterns.  

It is rare for someone to completely see through the patterns that are present in themselves or in another, and to recognize what might be called the true Self or the love-light that is the essence.   However when true Self is glimpsed or seen by self or by other self, the effect we experience is bliss, joy, rapture or an opening into love because that is our natural state.  This direct experience or knowing of the Self is what spiritual seekers often aim to achieve through meditation and through other various healing practices.  

Being without patterns allows us to taste, see, and remember ourselves, and to experience our boundless or free state.  This is why so many seekers aim to un-condition themselves from the learning they have learned, from the personality they’ve adopted and from the bound configurations of energy that seem to interfere with their knowing or seeing of themselves.  Again patterns are not good or bad, they simply are, and they provide or lay the template for the experiences we have of life and for the ways in which we perceive life to be.  

Ultimately what patterns do, is distort the light from its pure essence and allow it to configure into different expressions, which gives us the infinite myriad of forms and experiences throughout this universe.  Patterns are what we call creation.  You can see the organization of patterns inside of any form, which allow it to express as it does.  What is pivotal to know is that you are not the pattern (ie. the distortion that light takes on), but rather that you are the light.  You are a priori to the pattern, the “Patterner” itself.   

PURPOSE OF PATTERNS 

Understanding relevance & readiness to shift

All patterns serve a purpose.  They all have relevance, which is why they exist.  If they didn’t serve you or serve the creator (which is you), they would not be.  Patterns seem to have a developmental life span.  Some patterns will exist over the course of your entire human lifespan, or start previous to it or go beyond it, if the patterns are foundational to why it is you exist or the lessons you came here to learn/share.  Other patterns will run their course and you will stop finding benefit in them and thus extinguish them from your distortion/pattern make up.  

As people are on a their seeking journey they often desire to shift up some of their patterns because they don’t like the experiences that they offer.  Perhaps you have a pattern that you feel blocks you from something you want to experience, which has created a hunger in you to dismantle that patterning within your energetic matrix.  That hunger becomes the energy source for you to investigate, see through and to be ready to dismantle the pattern.  Sometimes we feel done with a pattern, but it isn’t done with us.  Meaning we want to resolve something inside of us, but their is still learning or relevance in us experiencing/sharing the effects of that pattern.  People frequently feel frustration around this process as they want their experience to be different than it is and yet it persists.  If a pattern persists it is because you continue to find benefit in it.  You may or may not be aware of what that benefit is, but it is a worthwhile inner investigation to find out.  There are also situations where there is a larger benefit of the pattern remaining, which you can’t currently see from the perspective from which you are viewing.  Sometimes you can zoom your awareness out to see from a larger perspective and at other times the veiling of knowing why the pattern continues to exist is part of the learning for you.  

As much as anything can be accelerated or slowed down, which are both aspects of the illusion we call time, there can be an amplification of readiness in the system to move through and beyond a pattern.  I find that frequently our readiness and the penetrating through of a pattern happens in layers that work up to a final resolution.  When we are in the layers, sometimes rather than seeing progress inside of them, we view failure that we haven’t reached complete resolution.  I mention this in case you find yourself feeling like you have worked a pattern “forever” and haven’t found resolution of it yet.  First of all this human lifespan is incredibly short so its unlikely that you have worked it “forever”, but only what maybe seems like forever to you.  Two, its ok if the patten isn’t resolved yet.  If you simply permission that for yourself, I can promise you that you will resolve the pattern with much more ease and grace than you perhaps knew possible.  

In summary know that you are playing out patterns, but that you are not the pattern itself.  Patterns serve a purpose and function, which is why they exist.  Patterns can absolutely be resolved by you and through you once their relevance for your life theme, experience, learning and sharing has ran its course.  Know that the interplay of light and form is the play of creator and creation expressing infinite expressions, and try not to take your experience too seriously.   

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado