WANTING WHAT IS

WANTING WHAT IS 

Getting into alignment

Wanting is an inclusive energy.  Wanting invites, welcomes and moves towards.  Wants guide our actions, our choices and they are the fuel behind our motivations.  Wanting is an attractive force.  When we don’t want we tend to feel aimless, lethargic and like we are just trying to get the day (or our life) over with.  When we do want it brings more energy into our system to move in a particular direction.  Sometimes we will try to convince ourselves that we want something other than what is in our present moment, yet when we realize that what is, is what we want, the inner battle ends and we become available to life again.

I think it is frequently the case that people have the experience that whatever it is they are experiencing is not what they want.  We tend to call this having a bad day, feeling low energy, or being out of alignment.  When we look at life through the perspective of seeing it as something we don’t want then we are out of alignment.  We are out of alignment with the way life is expressing itself in that moment, or said another way, we are in disagreement with the universe.  It never feels good to be in disagreement with what is.  It’s heavy, we feel irritation or annoyance, and generally experience less vitality or zest for life.  This is why feeling bad is an indication of being out alignment.  Sometimes we can’t always pinpoint the “thing” that created the sense of out alignment for us, all we know is that we feel bad.  Whenever you notice that you feel bad it is an opportunity to stop, pause, and notice that you are in disagreement with what is.  You are not wanting what is to be what is, and yet it is what is.  This is also an opportunity to shift your perspective to wanting what is, which brings you back into alignment.

As casually as I write that it does not always seem so easy to get ourselves into agreement with what is.  When we perceive that what is, is not what we want, we will often fight tooth and nail to convince ourselves and the world that what is should be different.  Perhaps it’s that we should feel different about how we feel or what we are doing with our day or our  life.  Maybe we think we should have different sensations in our body than we currently do.  Perhaps we feel cheated by our experience or lack of experience and we want to insist that we were wronged.  Maybe we are trying to convince ourselves that we want something we don’t really actually want, but that we think we should want.  It can feel hard to let go of our story about what is and simply let what is be.  Yet this is exactly what must occur if we are to get into alignment with ourselves and feel the freedom of being present. 

OPENING THE HEART

Choosing what is

A beautiful thing happens when we change our mind, and rather than disagreeing with what is showing up we decide to want it instead; our heart re-opens.  It might be that 5, 10, 20 or 100 times a day your heart oscillates from being open to being closed.  The only difference in it being open or closed is whether or not you are in agreement with what is showing up inside of your experience.  Being in disagreement tends to shut us down.  We get opinionated, judgmental, righteous, disgruntled, peeved, angry, sad, scared and on and on, when we are in disagreement.  Reactions, agendas, fears and self-survival dominate and motivate our actions.  When we are in that state of being the heart is not open and not in free flowing acceptance and love of what is.  

It takes a hell of a commitment/devotion to being in an open hearted state in order to get ourselves to make the decision to shift our perspective, or to shift where we are coming from.  To turn towards wanting what is.  You are the one that must choose what you value.  In fact you are the only one that can choose.  If your value is open-heartedness and living from the perspective of love, than making the shift is a must.  It’s really not even a choice, it is simply the only possible way to go.  What will then be required of you is that you must turn towards and lean into what is.  You must want what is.  Even if what is, is the most undesirable thing that you can possibly imagine or feel.  If you feel heavy or tired, want that.  If you just got turned down by a potential partner, want that.  If your body weighs 10 more pounds now than it did last year, want that.  If the house is dirty or disorganized, want that.  If a big project you’ve been working on tanks, want that.  If you are scared or depressed, want that.  If your body hurts or expresses some other sensation or experience, want that.  See if you want it, you stay open.  You feel what you are trying to not feel and that lets you relax and let go.  Can you feel that?  If you don’t want it, you close down and keep fighting or resisting, and you don’t really get anywhere new.  

We must first accept what is before any change will show up inside of how we experience life, and acceptance of what we think we don’t want is one of the hardest things for us to do as humans.  Yet when you master this, you master life.  You master life because no longer does what is showing up inside of your experience dictate how you experience it.  You become the source, seer and chooser of the experience when you come into agreement with what is.  This is where true power lies, where miracles are the ordinary way things work, and love/bliss is how you feel and see even when sensations in your body or other various emotions are present.  You realize none of it matters, because you’re in charge and the experience/appearance is not.  

Wanting what is opens the heart.  When your heart is open you give everything the opportunity to be as it is, you include all, you recognize wholeness and perfection, and you give everyone around you the opportunity to open their heart as well.  This is what it is to be of service, to be living your purpose, to be in alignment.  Being of service, in purpose and in alignment are not about what you do, but instead who and how you choose to be and see.  Here is the invitation to be brave enough, devoted enough and committed enough to love, to choose what is and want what is.  Any fear you have around doing this will be resolved in the act of you doing it. This is true sovereignty, autonomy and power.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

TINY LITTLE PEACE DISRUPTERS

TINY LITTLE PEACE DISRUPTERS 

Good days and bad days

Most all of us desire a state of inner peace.  That sustainably stable center of being, that remains undisturbed regardless of situation or circumstance.  I really don’t know anyone who isn’t in someway looking or desiring this for themselves.  Often times we taste peace.  For example we might wake up in the morning after a great night’s sleep feeling rested and fantastic.  Then we start our day and tiny little peace disrupters attempt to find their way inside of our experiences.  Maybe our partner is grouchy and that affects our state of joy a little bit.  Perhaps we don’t have the food in our refrigerator that we want to eat for breakfast because our kids ate it last night.  Possibly you receive a phone call from your doctor telling you they didn’t like the look of some your routine blood work that you did last week for your annual check up.  Then you get in your car, start it up and it’s making some strange noise.  You arrive at your scheduled lunch meeting only to find out the person you are meeting is running 40 minutes late.  You get the idea.  The list could go on and on and on endlessly forever.  

It’s really no wonder that we feel stressed out most of time and not really as present and centered as we’d like to be.  It seems to be that there are a thousand tiny, little (and sometimes big) peace disrupters that happen in a give day.  You can find them in nearly every moment it seems.  Little ways that life does not appear to run smoothly, where things are less desirable than we want them to be, and where life just doesn’t feel like we want it to feel.  We worry about the outcome of all the things and if everything will turn out alright.  We dread the hassle of taking care of things that we aren’t sometimes even sure how to take care of.  We live in this state of a sort of powerlessness to life and its occurrences, and we hold our breath while we are in the uncertainty of it all.  I’d say that this is a pretty regular experience of life for most.  

Days that we call “good days” are typically days where we either perceive that less peace disrupters are present or where they are present but don’t seem to effect us.  In these situations it is often that something that we perceive as really good happened in a day so we are less easily affected by the other going ons of life.  It can also be that we have more distance from the occurrences of life on a given day (i.e. less attachment to the outcome of things and more acceptance of what is) so the little things seem to grab us less.  Some things are easier for us to accept, others not as much.  The more we resistance we create, the less resourced and energized we are and the more those tiny little peace disrupters run the show. 

STABLE INNER CENTER 

Playing the game of challenge

All of those tiny little peace disrupters are really just little challengers in the game of life.  They are opportunities for you to learn greater and greater inner stability.  One of the things I hear most frequently from people whom I work with is that they want to have stability in feeling good, energized, joyful and in their center or truth.  They want to less taken by the circumstance of life and be in more choice about what and how they are feeling on a day to day basis.  So often people don’t feel in choice about how they are feeling and that is actually what feels bad, that is not being in choice and not necessarily the bad feeling itself.

One of the fundamental perspectives to take on this whole matter is that everything that happens is happening for you not to you.  If you make that shift in perspective than you can easily see that all of those tiny little peace disrupters (and even the big ones) are simply coming into your experience to help you learn how to have a stable inner center.  See we ask to have a stable inner center and yet when we are given a thousand opportunities a day to practice it we fail to see that we are being given exactly that which we need to learn exactly that which we desire to learn.  It’s tricky because when we see through the perspective that life is happening to us we feel powerless to circumstance and feel that we have no choice in the matter of how we feel about what is happening to us.  However if we pick up and put on a different pair of glasses for the day, glasses that see that every single occurrence inside of our experience is happening for us then we are much more readily available to learn from life rather than feel victim to it.  We can also more clearly see things as opportunities to learn and not as permanent, never ending states of being of which we will never escape.

Most people don’t realize how powerful they are.  In fact most don’t realize that they have any power at all.  Some level of denial, confusion and lack of awareness seems to be present for most people when it comes to knowing themselves as the all powerful creators that they are.  Yet the evidence is everywhere.  How you perceive everything that you perceive is evidence of your power.  How you perceive is how you will experience life.  What is more powerful than that?  How you perceive is how you create and thus how you will experience life.  At any moment your free will to perceive is intact.  Free will the first expression of creation.  It is what you are.  Free will itself.  You are free to perceive however it is you would like to, and you will thus create an experience of life based on your perception.  Perception is creation.  If you see things as bad or wrong, you will experience bad, wrong or the threat of bad/wrong.  If you see things as good, you will experience good and that life is working for you.  

It is really that simple folks.  You might like to insist that you don’t have any power, and that you can’t change how you perceive, but you’re the only one that can.  No one can give you a stable inner center.  Tools, techniques and programs can guide you towards it, but ultimately you must learn it through the opportunity of tiny little (and sometimes big) peace disrupters.  The gift of them is the re-remembering your power and your never ending free will to perceive/create as you’d like.

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

COMING FROM ABUNDANCE

COMING FROM ABUNDANCE 

Lessons in trust & faith

Abundance is the natural of being or is-ness.  Abundance is what is.  In truth lack does not exist because it would be impossible for existence to be lacking.  What is can’t not be.  What gives the appearance of lack is not the appearance itself, but our perception of what appears.  This may seem a bit tricky to understand, but if you sit with it for a few moments the truth of it will begin to reveal itself to you.  

We are conditioned in a perspective that says when I don’t have ‘xyz’, it means something is, or might be, lacking/missing from my experience.  This perspective of lacking/missing is what causes suffering or our sense of disconnection.  It also perpetuates the illusion of our separateness, or independence from the larger existence.  Viewing through the lens of lack means something is not enough, we might not have enough, and often we feel like we are alone in our quest to be enough or get enough of what we need or want, whether that be resources or experiences.  There is no trust in the orchestration of life, but instead fear of how we will make it work or get what we desire or need.  

Why do we so often blindly and unconsciously choose this lens of lack or scarcity?  What purpose does it serve us?  I think largely we choose it because it is the most accessible to us, to our psyche, and to the lessons we were born to learn.  One cannot learn faith and trust, which are the primary lessons of the human incarnation, if one sees the natural state of abundance.  For inside of abundance one knows entirely that they are supported so there is nothing to help us learn faith.  The conditions on this planet and the perspective of lack are prime for helping us learn trust and faith.  

For centuries we have been playing out the game of lack.  Fighting or attempting to manipulate life, ourselves or others, so that we have enough or more of what we want or need.  Manipulation that is often disguised in a multitude of ways, many of those being service or caring, but really its just about us doing and getting what we think we need or want.  Our lives for the most part are entirely self-centric and about gain even if they appear altruistic.  This isn’t bad or wrong.  It’s simply important to know where we are coming from and why we are coming from there.  With this understanding we can more consciously choose what serves now rather than sleep walk our way through our life.   

LIVING IN AGREEMENT  WITH LIFE

To know abundance

Part of viewing from the lens of scarcity means that we tend to not live in agreement with life, or with what is.  Rather we wish, dream, or envision it to be more luxurious, glorious, radiant or just better somehow.  We “miss” what’s here by wishing or hoping for something else to be here.  We fail to see abundance of what is because we are focused on something else being in our experience.  This is the recipe for living continually unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and chasing fulfillment inside of the promise of whatever is next.  I am not suggesting that you don’t dream or envision beauty, glory or your desires, but rather that you see it here now in your current moment experience rather than at some future date or time when things look different and there are different people, objects or experiences in your life.  To view this way would be to see the truth, which is abundance, rather than your perspective of not good enough somehow now.  This would be the equivalent of dreaming awake or seeing what is now.

While we wait for life to look different so that we can say it’s better is to negate the abundance of this very moment.  That future moment where you perceive perfection or better-ness will simply be another moment of perfect abundance that will be followed by someone else who wants to make it better and on and on.  On and on that is until we stop projecting into the future what is already here now.  No matter how shitty it seems or appears to us, if we don’t see that it is currently abundant we suffer, and through our perception of suffering we continue to create it.  Through how we see, we create the very thing we are attempting to make better.  

We have responsibility of how we see.  I think this is our one and only true responsibility.  Though this might seem trivial or not really that impactful or important, I’d argue that nothing else is more important than this.  See no one can really see how we see.  There are no outward signs to cue others to the lens we look through.  Only we know how we see; what lens we choose.  There are no accolades or external praises for choosing the perspectives we choose.  They are silent, quiet and only those that are also silent and quiet can see where you come from.  To them there is simply an internal recognition and gratitude for where you come from.  Yet even though our lens are unseen by most, they create the entire world.  Everything that is, is born from this lens from which you choose to come from.

Coming from abundance won’t necessarily make you materially rich.  It won’t necessarily give you all the things you want or think you need.  It won’t always provide the picture of life that you hoped for, however there is a silver lining.  That lining is that you will now live in agreement with life.  You will experience the peace that passes all understanding.  Your being serves despite whatever it is you do or don’t do, or create/don’t create.  It also allows you to be a conduit for life to move through you rather than you being the chief decider of all things that the mind then tries to figure out, manipulate and grasp.  You are free to be and to allow all the experiences of life to be as they are.  It is the end of resistance and the end of suffering.  This is to live/know abundance.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Network Chiropractor Boulder Colorado

Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration

RESPOND TO EVERYTHING WITH LOVE

RESPOND TO EVERYTHING  WITH LOVE

Dancing with the mind

We tend to live quite polarized.  Liking this thing, not liking that thing.  Feeling joy when life looks like we want it to and frustration when it doesn’t.  As much as we like to think that we are always going with the flow and living in a state of surrendered acceptance, the truth is most of the time we are not.  The moment something looks or feels other than our preference we tend to go into some level of resistance.  Rather than welcoming what is present we tense up, get anxious and begin to strategize how we are going to survive or get what we want.  Our minds create worst case scenario stories about how what is, isn’t good, isn’t right and is going to turn out badly for us.

All of this puts us in a state of vigilant survival, which then activates us to react with self-protection.  Some of our ways of self-protection are more primitive and others more sophisticated.  The more primitive reactions are to shut down, withdraw, check out, avoid, attack or disappear completely.  More sophisticated reactions are to manage, rationalize, control, or contain whatever is occurring that we don’t prefer.  Be clear that whether we are utilizing a primitive or a more sophisticated reaction, both are means of self-protection in order to attempt to not experience what is occurring or manipulate it in some way.  Some of the more sophisticated self-protective reactions are viewed as “normal” or commonly accepted behaviors, but are still are coming from resistance to, rather than acceptance of what is.

It’s a tricky dance to not be taken by the mind because we often believe the stories it tells.  It’s hard not to as we’ve learned to look through the lens of it’s perspectives and have created an entire life through those lenses, both individually and collectively.  What we believe is so, or better said, what we believe is our experience.  This makes it hard to refute the mind because we will always experience validation of our beliefs of the stories it tells.  When it says “this is bad” we believe this is bad.  When it says “this is good” we believe this is good.  Hence the near constant state of polarization we live inside of.    The thing that many people don’t realize is that when the mind says “this is bad” you don’t have to believe it, or when they mind says “this is good”, again you don’t have to believe it.  See the bigger truth is that you, me, and everyone in between has no idea what is bad or what is good.  The best we can do is make assumptions about stuff and have preferences for things to be a certain way, but we have no freaking real idea what’s going on.  However because we think we know what is bad and what is good, we suffer and go into self-protection attempting to get things to be good again when we believe they are bad.  We appear to not suffer when things are good, but even when things are good we are often still suffering because our state of goodness is contingent upon things appearing/being a certain way that we deem as good.   

BEYOND STORY

Become the Creator

I have found that there is only one assumption free, agenda free, polarization free way to respond to the occurrences of life, which is to respond to everything with love.  It’s the only way to not personally suffer and to not create suffering through your insistence or perspective of bad or wrong.  Seeing things/self as bad, wrong or somehow lacking something, is the root of suffering.  To respond instead with love to everything that arises is to see it as complete, full, and perfect even if the mind views it as distorted or messed up.  Even distortion and mess is a perfect expression of the creator’s creation.  We somehow know this, yet refuse to believe it when it looks, feels or becomes personal to us, to our preferences, lifestyles and survival impulses.

Something we often forget, or perhaps don’t know, is that we are ultimately the story tellers.  It often seems too simple to us that we could just tell and believe a different story, yet we can.  In fact we are the only ones that can.  When we start the practice of responding to every single sensation, feeling, thought, world event, relational interaction and life experience with love, we open up the doorway inside the mind to write a different story or to end the stories all together.  You can write and believe whatever you so choose.  You can also stop writing and stop believing in anything at all.  There really are no rules here except the ones that you create.  For some this may seem or feel challenging.  One thing I hear people say is that they can’t get themselves to believe a different story.  For example if they feel bad, they just have to keep feeling bad and don’t see a way out if it.  They don’t see how by creating a different story they will feel better because they aren’t quite ready to let their current story go.  They want the appearance to change (their sensations, feelings, thoughts, some event, some experience) before they change their story.  However life works in the other direction.  We are the creators of what is.  What is does not inform us, we inform it.

We sometimes have strong attachments to the stories we believe about what things mean and how life works, and to our minds it may feel bad or wrong to turn our story around, even though the new story feels better.  Its’ a strange thing, but sometimes we want to hold onto grudges, wrong doings, or insisting that life, our body and everything else is not supporting us in some way.  This is a core story that runs deep throughout the human psyche.  You can transform it and you can thus forth have a different experience of life.  One that is free from insisting that the appearance of life look a certain way that you think means good.  One that is free from bad and good.  One where the only response is love, which is the response that always knows exactly what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.  The more we respond with love the less “we” have to do.  The less life is up to us.  We rest more into trust and faith and the knowing that life is orchestrated in ways far beyond what our individual minds could ever fathom.  It is total possible to have this be your experience of life.  All that is required is that you stop insisting that you know anything.  You invite in whatever is present.  You respond to it with love.  You remain open to the magic and the mystery that reveals itself moment by moment.  You can’t know before you know.  You can only be present and know.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

UNWINDING NEUROLOGICAL DEFENSE

UNWINDING NEUROLOGICAL DEFENSE 

Dismantling our protection from pain

We’ve all experienced tension.  That tight, constricted, unrelaxed feeling.  Sometimes it feels hard to breathe.  It can come with feeling overwhelmed and like there isn’t enough time or resources available to us.  It can be challenging to discover and feel what we are feeling.  Often it comes with uncomfortable sensations in the body.  Tension is means of protection.  We create tension, and our body feels that tension, in order to protect us from pain, when we perceive that pain might be present or imminent.  The pain, which tension is protecting us from, isn’t always clearly evident to us.  Yet if we investigate we can always find the thing we are attempting to avoid feeling or experiencing.  

Pain can come in many forms.  It can be purely at the body/sensation level.  You might experience this in a car accident or a fall where you finding yourself bracing (i.e. creating tension) in order to protect the body from damage and lessen the impact.  You may also have a chronically painful part of your body.   Often we create tension around that area in order to attempt to not feel the pain as much.  It’s not the tension that is painful even if that is what we think is the source of the pain.  The true source of the pain is often below the tension.  The tension is the means to dull what is underneath it.  Pain can also be felt at the emotional level.  The root of most emotional pain is the fear/experience of being unloved or unlovable.  At the next level up pain felt at the mental levels is often rooted in not being enough, sharing enough or having anything worthy to give/be.  Lastly pain is also experienced at the spiritual level, which is rooted in believing we are separate from spirit/God.  

Due to the fact that most people don’t want to experience pain we learn to create protection or defense from it.  We gear up and create armoring.  This armoring is like a neurological suit that we wear that we don’t even know that we are wearing.  Everything we experience or interact with gets to come into contact with this suit.  The suit is a filter.  It’s not who we are, but it is often who we think we are and also who others perceive us to be.  Loosely you could call this our personality, and it also comes with a particular way we posture our body, talk, walk, think, perceive, dress, eat, behave and the sensations we have or don’t have.  It colors our entire world.  The suit comes with wiring.  That wiring is called neurological defense.  There are patterns and architecture to neurological defense.  These patterns are specifically what Network Chiropractic addresses.  Network assesses for the patterns that are present and helps wake up awareness and liberate energy inside these patterns of protection, so that your true self may be known to you.   

OPENING INTO THE HEART 

Rewriting the nervous system

The true self is the heart.  It is that space or experience of relaxation and easefulness that is joyfully and blissfully present.  It is light and spacious.  It is all inclusive and allows everything inside of it to be as it is.  It is energized and alive.  It is awake.  It sees nothing as wrong.  There is no resistance and we feel just as our self.  Nothing to hide, protect, avoid, or run away from experiencing.  It is that which we are all hungry for and finding our way into in our own ways.  The heart is not just for some people or for some times.  It is for all times and all people.  

The heart seems absent, foreign or mysterious to us when we are in a state of neurological defense.  When we are in protection mode we view ourselves as a subject/object that is independent from other subject/objects.  This is how most beings in the world view themselves and also why there is such a disconnection from the heart amongst our collective at large.  When separation is the predominant perspective than there is always something/someone to protect ourselves from.  Yet when that predominant perceptive changes to non-separation or unity, than protection becomes nonsensical and arbitrary.  

The heart isn’t something hard to find.  Its all pervasive, ever present and never comes or goes.  What does come or go is our focus or attention on it.  When our focus and attention is wrapped up in all the ways we need to protect ourselves to physically survive, get all of our emotional needs met and to satisfy the demands of the stories we’ve learned to tell ourselves about what our life is supposed to be and who we are supposed to be, then the heart is not in our view.  Shifting priorities, changing stories and reconditioning the neurological patterns present in your energetic and physical configuration is required in order to experience life as heart.  

Opening into the heart is closer than you think.  It’s not too hard to find/feel glimpses of it.  These glimpses are important as they start to light up pathways that don’t get lit up that frequently inside most people’s nervous systems.  This is what Network entrainments provide the container for as well.  During entrainments an energetic field is created that is organized in such a way to amplify the experience of heart for you.  While the gentle contacts along the spine help dismantle neurological defense, this field or container of the heart is readily present and available.  With continued tastes, touches and glimpses of this field of the heart, a person can receive and exchange more and more energy and awareness with this field.  The energy, awareness and perspective of heart then becomes the dominant program in your system.  The heart starts speaking louder than the pathways that are fighting for survival and viewing life from a scarce and separate perspective.  This is the progression, the objective and the intention.  It’s simple.  It’s available.  It’s time is ripe.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

YOU’RE THE LIGHT

YOU’RE THE LIGHT 

Fear busting

In essence we are all light.  We are not the forms, the identities, or the names we been given or have given ourselves.  We are pure, radiating light.  Even though this is true most of us do not experience ourselves as light.  Rather we experience ourselves as a body and a personality that has thoughts, ideas and assumptions about what it is and what it’s not.  The more thoughts we have about what we are, the less we know what we actually are.  Thoughts create filters from which the light that we are bends and distorts itself.  The more thoughts we have, the more twists and turns the light that we are takes, and the further we are from knowing ourselves.  We become more identified with the forms and we forget the formlessness from which we came.  This makes our experience of ourselves feel dense, solid, and often scary as we are disconnected from true source of self.  We come to trust only what is physical, which is ever changing and provides no true stability, as we’ve lost sight of the light.  

Fear of anything, regardless of what it is, is simply the loss of remembering self, or said another way, a forgetting of the light.  When fear becomes the dominant lens that we look through the light can seem scary or overwhelming to us.  That which provides rest, relaxation or levity becomes a threat, because it threatens our perspective of fear which feels very real to us and is our only known source of stability.  Even though we may desire reprieve from the feelings, thoughts and sensations of fear, we desire more the stability in what we know, in what is familiar, even if it is unpleasant.  

If we let go of our perspective of fear then we are left in uncertainty.  We feel exposed and vulnerable and open.  Rather than guarding ourselves against potential experience we open ourselves to experience.  Experience is what it is regardless if we are open or closed to it.  The only difference is in how we will experience it, how we will relate to and interact with it, and how we will move and participate with life or not.  We can’t control experience despite our often galant efforts to do so.  We are not the deciders of what occurs, but we are the deciders of how we experience what occurs.  This is our free will, our choice and nothing or no-one can take that from us.  We can only willing give away how we experience what is.  This occurs when we default to programs and conditioning that say we are powerless and where we choose to believe that we have no other choice.  Understand those beliefs and perspectives are required in order for one to disown their power to choose how they experience.   

BRIGHTEN UP

Moving towards fear

Fear creates an experience of vigilance or an over attunement to our inner and outer environment.  This may be thought of as sensitivity, but it’s a sensitivity in which one feels powerless or threatened rather than a sensitivity where one feels more connected and at peace with the light that they are.  As we open and become less defended we actually want more sensitivity, more attunement and more subtle awareness.  This is an indication of spiritual developmental progression, a movement towards remembering self.  Yet we want it rooted in power and trust, not powerlessness and fear.  When rooted in power it is the experience of co-participation with life, with the unfolding and there is agreement with what is occurring.  When rooted in powerlessness it feels as though it is happening to you, as though you can’t turn it off and you have just have to be subjected to whatever is occurring in your inner and outer environment. 

The funny thing about fear is that it all comes down to us not knowing what is going happen, yet how could we know what isn’t yet and why do we ever think that we should know.  Fear is simply the resistance we have to not knowing mixed in while some thoughts that something bad might occur inside, or on the other side, of that not knowing.  While we become overly identified with the physical so much so that we’ve come to gain our sense of stability in it, yet its blatantly obvious that there is nothing stable about the physical.  Nothing is more certain than birth and death of forms, yet we continue to try to find our source of stability inside of them and get shaken up when they start to destabilize.  

The way I see it is that nothing should be taken too seriously, even our fears, especially our fears.  The moment we take them seriously is the moment we move further away from the light.  I have a practice of opening into that which feels scary or unknown.  When I feel fear I notice my tension, my clenching, my resistance and then I notice that I am the one doing all of those things – tensing, clenching, and resisting.  In that moment of recognition I open and allow my experience rather than continuing to close off from it.  See the experience is what the experience is, but I get to experience it how I want to experience it.  Moving towards the uncomfortableness rather than away from it is key, is pivotal, is required for transformation of how we experience what we experience.  In turning towards and opening, there is allowance to feel.  To feel the feelings about the experience which may feel intense for a few moments, and then after that there is peace.  There is no longer resistance.  There is simply openness with the fear, with the unknown.  Presence, breath and ease return.

The return of presence is the return of the light.  No longer is our resistance to our experience blocking the light.  Now we can see, less distorted, less filtered.  This is the process of allowing the light that you are to become brighter and brighter.  The brighter the light, the clearer you feel even though all is still a mystery.  The unknown becomes exciting rather than scary.  This is how you shine, how you radiate and how you move into greater coherence, greater wholeness, greater knowing of yourself.  That is the entire spiritual game. Knowledge of self is the ultimate outcome.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

CLEANING IT UP

CLEANING IT UP 

Physical & energetic spaces

Ever notice how light you feel when you give things away?  A good example of this is when you empty your closet or your garage out of stuff you no longer use or want.  Suddenly you feel more clear and light.  There is a spaciousness present that wasn’t there before.  You feel freed up.  This freedom comes with a levity and clarity that most seek to experience in every day life.  Yet we spend most of our time cluttered up with things filling our space, many of which we don’t even know are there until we take the time to really look or springtime comes and we decide to do a clean up.

Most would agree that the clearing of our space is an important component of our overall well-being, however the tolerance we have for that which is no longer needed or wanted is often high.  We allow things to pile up before getting to the point where we will access their continued usefulness to us and take the actions necessary to get rid of them.  We have clothes in our closet we haven’t worn for years, thousands of meaningless pictures on our phone we’ve never looked at more than once, music and movies downloaded that we never listen to or watch, food in our cabinets that we will probably never eat, and boxes in our basement filled with stuff we never intend to use again.  All of this stuff lays around, filling our space, and we wonder why we feel tired, heavy and bogged down.  

The physical is of course just one element of this.  We also have ideas, partially implemented projects, and tons of emotional and mental content filling our subtle and energetic spaces.  We need our etheric vacuums to also declutter the thoughts that don’t serve, the emotions that lay around looping themselves over and over, and the clearing out of ideas and projects that we will never do.  Just imagine how free you would feel once you clear all of it out, what you might be available for, and how you might better be able to channel your energy and focus into what really matters to you.  To create a pristine outer and inner space that is filled only with what you desire to have inside of it.  Anything that doesn’t reflect joy or peace when you see or experience it has to go.  This requires a fairly constant attunement of noticing when its time to let things go.  The first clear out is often the largest, but the process is ongoing, a day to day noticing of what is in your physical and subtle spaces that doesn’t serve a good function that supports your mission and vision for being alive.   

UNCHOSEN SPACIOUSNESS 

Freedom of Loss

This same spaciousness we feel when we clear things out of our life that we no longer want is also experienced when something that we don’t want to leave our experience does.  We often relate to the spaciousness of unchosen loss as a feeling of emptiness rather than freedom, yet the only difference is in how we are relating to our experience.  Anyone who has experienced unwanted loss on any scale knows the clarity that comes through it.  When we experience this type of loss we no longer tolerate things that don’t matter to us.  It’s an instant clear out and clean up.  We stop pretending on all levels because we don’t have the energy to pretend anymore.  We become incredibly available to the present moment.  In this way there is freedom because we are not bogged down by stories and things of the future and such.  We are just here.  For many their intuition rises and they are more connected to the spiritual aspect of themselves even though they may be feeling sadness, rage and all sorts of other things. 

Life is constantly cycling through death and rebirth, comings and goings.  Goings create spaciousness where there was stuff before.  New birth wants to then fill the space.  This is the mechanics of the universe.  Goings can either be desired and chosen and we call that letting go, giving away or moving on.  Goings can also be undesired or unchosen and we call that all sorts of things depending on where we are in process of it.  However the resolution of chosen or unchosen deaths or goings brings us to the same spaciousness.  The same unbound freedom.  Our nature is the freedom before the form.  After the death and before the birth is where our essence is found.  We are creators, creating birth and death, comings and goings, and creating chosen and unchosen.   We are before it all. 

Whether our clearing out is deliberately chosen by us, or is chosen for us through others, we receive a unique opportunity to see ourselves and come into greater recognition of what is and is not important for our life plan.  The spaciousness of self draws to us that which is in alignment for us now that was perhaps laying underneath a pile of stuff or entangled inside relationships.  Remember everything arrives in perfect time and perfect rhythm.  Comings and goings are precisely orchestrated. Nothing can happen too soon or too late.  The deaths and rebirths will continue infinitely.  You will experience deaths and births billions of times on subtle and non-subtle scales and dimensions.  You are not that which is born or dies.  You are that which gives birth and death.  You are the potentiated, unbound freedom that lies before manifestation.  In silence, in spaciousness, recognize yourself.  Remember what you are.  Clear out of your life what you can clear out in order to create the space to better know yourself.  Clarity ensues.  Availability to now becomes.  Ever present eternal is-ness playing and creating through love and magic.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

PERMISSION TO BE FREE

PERMISSION TO BE FREE 

Acceptance of the rhythm

Our nature is free.  We are bound by nothing except our stories that we must be bound.  There is nothing limiting us except our beliefs that say we are.  We are infinite energy and awareness with a focalization in this bodily form, yet we live as if we are the form and feel imposed upon by its configurations and sensations.  The body is not a prison cell for awareness, but rather a tool for it.  We only feel like we are in a prison cell when we are identified as the body rather than seeing it as something we are using to express through.  You are not trapped, stuck or un-free in any way, other than the ways in which you believe yourself to be.

Even though we are by our very nature freedom itself we live in boxes, containers and mental constructs that say we are not free.  We then don’t feel the freedom that we are, but feel rather that life is a series of events that occur within limited capacity.  We then wait for life to bring us experiences that stretch us beyond our made up constraints so that we can taste ourselves again and reconnect to the freedom that we are.  For some people that taste of freedom is a relief and a remembering.  There is gratitude and inspiration.  For others there is confusion, uncomfortableness and destabilization as their sense of confinement is shaken.  While on some level they might think they want to remember and taste their freedom, it is ultimately too destabilizing to their sense of self.  Their identity of who they think they are is threatened and rather than enjoying their taste of freedom they learn to fear it.  

It is important to recognize that as much as you might say or feel that you want to be free or experience more of yourself, it may be more than you are ready for right now.  Attempting to force ourselves to be ready, rather than honoring the rhythm that’s present, is often a waste of our energy.  There are ways to prepare ourselves to be ready such as investigating our limiting beliefs, seeing where we externalize our power and taking actions to clean up our life so that it is in greater and greater alignment.  While preparing ourselves for freedom is important, so is honoring and fully accepting where we are at.  If you don’t yet fully live knowing you are free its ok.  You don’t have to race to the finish line.  Be where you are.  Accept where you are first.  Know that it is through this process of accepting where you are at in each stage of the journey that ends up being the resource you need to deepen in your knowing of self, of freedom.  Acceptance is the ultimate permission slip that guides you even when you think you haven’t yet arrived.   

LIVING FREE 

What does it look like?

When you live knowing that you’re free, your best friend is the mystery.  You no longer brace, protect, avoid or fear the unknown, but rather you invite it in as the new container for which you reside.  The container of the unknown has no edges or limitations.  It is an open box of possibility and potential.  It doesn’t make assumptions based on its past, nor does it try to control its future.  Freedom realizes that life is fresh and is happening now in this moment.  Living free doesn’t imply that you don’t work towards things you want to create into the manifest world, it simply means you create from alignment and joy.  Alignment and joy are your guiding principles.  If you aren’t coming from alignment and joy then you are required to shift things up in order to come from yourself again.

Living free also doesn’t mean that you stop having feelings, or that sensations in your body change or go away.  You can be free as fuck and still have pain in your body.  You can live free and still feel heartache.  Freedom doesn’t mean that you are robot, it just means that you aren’t bound by the sensations or feelings that you experience.  Your choices come from your alignment, not from attempting to control, avoid or get rid of certain sensations or feelings in your body-mind. When you decide based on what is true for your alignment and guidance, and not on what you think you should do, have to do, or is the right thing to do, this is living free.  Free to follow your inspiration, guidance and excitement.  

The experience is one of less attachment.  Logically the less attached you are to things, people and outcomes, the more freedom you experience.  Understand that attachment and love are different things.  You can love the shit out of things, people and outcomes, but the moment you attempt to control any of them is the moment that you bind yourself again.  There is immense freedom in loving.  Loving doesn’t bind you, your attachment to the object of your love does.  True loving actually comes from freedom.  If you don’t know your freedom, than you don’t know another’s freedom.  Not knowing your freedom with create dynamics of attachment as you attempt to get stability, freedom and knowledge of yourself out there somewhere rather than in you.  

Living free is living loving.  It is the most bold and courageous way to live from the perspective of humanness.  It requires immense faith and trust in the mystery, in the not knowing.  It exposes you as you are open with life rather than living trying to protect yourself from it.  There is nothing to avoid.  Everything is you.  Trust your guidance even when it seems you made a wrong choice.  Realize the impossibility of wrongness and learn through your choices rather than judge yourself for your choices.  End your doubt in yourself, in the universe and in God.  Only you can do this.  Discover that you are already free if you so desire too.

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

HEALING FROM WHOLENESS

HEALING FROM WHOLENESS 

What is, is

Wholeness is the natural state that exists in each and every moment, yet most all of us are trying to get to it in some way or another.  We conceptually know the complete perfection that is and yet we don’t live from this knowing.  Rather we live from the belief that there is somewhere to get and when we arrive there then completion will be achieved.  Most don’t really know where this place of completion is, but have many ideas that it is in either the attainment or absence of something.  When attainment or absence of the “something” is achieved they think they’ve arrived.  Yet soon the realization of fleeting temporariness of their illusion of completion is revealed and they find themselves back on the search for completion again.

Some people may initially think that if wholeness, completion and perfection already is, then what is there to live for or do.  If you aren’t striving to get somewhere than what?  The thing is that most people ask this question from the place of scarcity or from the perspective of lack of wholeness.  No one asks that question from wholeness because it would be clear to them how to move, where to act, where to be still and how to focus their energy and awareness.  The doubt that they feel about life would be alleviated because they would already know all is well no matter what is done or not done.  

How do we play the game of life knowing that it doesn’t actually matter what happens?  How are we passionate and committed to play and yet simultaneously detached from any occurrence occurring?  How do we heal coming from or knowing that we are already whole?  The definition of healing is remembering or realizing our/the already whole state.  Despite people often believing that healing has something to do with absence or presence of certain sensations or feelings, it does not.  This is again rooted in the idea that there is somewhere else to get or arrive that would indicate completion.  The first thing to really understand is that no matter what the sensation or feeling is that is currently present in your experience, nothing is wrong or un-whole.  Nothing is out of place.  Everything is perfectly aligned including the sensation/feeling experience.  You liking or not liking, preferring or not preferring your experience is not an indication of lack of wholeness.  Yet this is how we base our judgments.  If we like our experience we say all is well and everything is perfect.  If we don’t like our experience we say something is off, we are unwell or things are out of place.  From our view we decide what is, yet what is doesn’t really care about our view.  What is, is, regardless of how we view it.  Is-ness is inherently neutral and complete.  

LEARNING TO PLAY THE GAME

Oh Santa Claus

When you already know wholeness is what is, yet you live in a world environment that still largely perceives that things are wrong, then you must learn to play the game of “wrongness”.  I call it playing a game because once you fully know/believe that nothing can be other than perfect, you see that all you can really do is play the game, because it is no longer real to you that wrong could be.  Let me use believing in Santa Claus when you are kid as an analogy.  As long as your parents played along with the story when you were a kid, then you really believed in Santa Claus.  You put out cookies, you waited for Santa to come and then you opened all the presents he left in the morning.  Nothing seemed unreal about it when you were a kid, that is until you were told the truth.  Once you were told the truth than you couldn’t go back to believing in Santa Claus.  You could only play the game that Santa exists.  You might dress up for the younger kids, help them make cookies and clear the chimney for Santa to come, but to you its just a fun game and there is  nothing serious about it.  There are still things to do, actions to take and ways to play, but you know it’s just for play and that it doesn’t really matter what does or doesn’t get done. All is well.

This is truly what its like to stop believing in un-healedness or wrongness.  What remains is simply the truth of perfection.  You can’t go back to seeing things as wrong, you can only play the game for others that still believe in it.  You take actions, you do things, you change and move things around, yet you know that it truly doesn’t matter because wholeness already is, no matter what you do or don’t do.  You may find that you enjoy certain activities or doing particular stuff so you choose those activities as your play.  Those activities may be doctor, lawyer, coach, therapist, healer, business person, CEO, mom, etc.  This is akin to choosing the activities of dressing up as Santa, versus baking the cookies or going to the store to get milk.  Pick what you prefer or enjoy more.

Similar to the way we wait for kids to grow up a little bit before telling them the truth about Santa, in a way there is also a waiting for people to grow up beyond the belief of imperfection.  There is a time on everyone’s timeline where they will outgrow it.  They can only be told when they are ready to hear it.  If you tell them too soon they might not believe you.  Attempting to get a child’s thoughts, feelings or sensations to change about Santa before they are ready is arduous and nonsensical.  That’s why we play the game instead.  Its fun, there’s joy, and even though it’s ultimately untrue there is still play and activity involved.  As with the belief in wrongness or lack of wholeness, you can attempt to change yours or another’s sensations, feelings and thoughts around it, but if you/they aren’t ready to hear that all is whole and complete, then play the game of imperfection.  Make sure to make it as fun and as ridiculously silly as possible.  Choose to take on doing activities you like doing.  Be free from knowing anything needs to happen or not happen, because after all, all is well, perfect and complete now.  There is no future and no destination where this will be more or less true. Its true now.  This is healing from wholeness, from the destination not towards a destination.  Its playing the game of healing while knowing everything is already whole.

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO  ANYTHING

Fear of badness

So often we feel this pressure, pull or weight to do.  That we have to do against our will or desire to do.  There seems to be an ultimatum if we don’t do.  We fear that if we don’t do whatever it is that we think we have to do, then something bad will happen.  We don’t even typically know what will happen, we just think that it will be bad.  This fear of “badness” and of not wanting to feel it, keeps us locked into the feeling state of being trapped, and the thought that we must do even when we aren’t sure what to do or feel strong opposition to the doing we think that we must do.  

One of the pivotal things to accept is that as humans we are essentially blind.  Spiritually blind that is.  In many ways we are masked, muted and confused.  We can see the appearance or expression of life, but we can’t see the source of it.   We don’t know who we are or what’s really going on beyond what we’ve been taught by other beings who are similarly confused.  When you accept that you are, by nature of this human experience, highly confused and that its okay to be confused, its much easier to take the pressure off of yourself.  That pressure to do something because you fear badness is alleviated when you accept your own state of blindness.

When we accept that we mostly don’t know anything we can realize that even our projected fear of badness is inaccurate.  The truth is we don’t know if something bad will happen or not happen based on our doing or non-doing.  We may create elaborate stories based on ideas in our mind or on previous life experiences, and yet even so we don’t know what will truly happen, ever.  All of the doubt we feel in our decision making processes (i.e. the pressure we feel) is simply rooted in the perspective that one way is good and another is bad.  One way is right and another wrong.  That the result of one choice is preferable and the other un-preferable.  

Rather than forcing yourself to do, take some kind of action, or make a decision, first giving yourself the permission to not know and not act is key.  Even though it seems like there are deadlines and timelines remember that all of that is made up.  It’s true that if certain “timelines” don’t get met than certain things may not occur, but remember there is no badness in the occurrence or non-occurrence.  Only the perspective you take on all of it matters.  There are truly no missed opportunities.  There is only what happens.  That may be hard for you mind to accept and your acceptance of that is key to your peace.   

WANTING EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE 

Doing from choice

Conjure up something in your mind that you think you have to do.  Maybe its your taxes, paying your bills, or a project for work or for hobby.  Perhaps its a conversation with someone, an email to write, a new diet or exercise to start, a relationship to end or a new job to start .  Make sure that whatever it is you bring into mind right now is something you think you have to do, rather than something you want to do or that you feel in neutral acceptance about doing.  Notice the pressure, heaviness, tension or perhaps scatter that occurs when you think about doing the thing.  Listen to the stories and thoughts that are occurring in your mind about having to do the thing.  Some of those stories that are flittering their way through your mind might have flavors of failure, dread, uncertainty and confusion.  Notice what ultimatums you are giving yourself if you don’t do the thing and how you might feel bad about yourself or about the outcome of doing or not doing.

Now feel what its like to give yourself the permission to not do the thing.  There might still be that initial dread or fear that something bad might happen, but let that story lift as well.  For just a few moments stop making all assumptions about what you think might happen and fully allow yourself to not know what the outcome might be or not be.  Be in the mystery.  Allow the not knowing to be present.  Give space for potentiality before making a concrete reality-assumption in your mind.  Now simply notice how you feel.  You should notice that you feel lighter.  That its easier to breathe.  That you are more present.  Continue to allow yourself to not have to make any decisions or take any actions in this moment and continue to notice your energy and feeling state.  

I recommend aiming for this more neutral and easeful state of being before taking any actions.  If you don’t you are simply reacting to illogical stories and disempowered patterning.  From your now current state of being check in and see if whatever it is you conjured up to do still feels relevant to do.  If it doesn’t then just let it go as its not serving you to keep entertaining it.  If it does still feel relevant than begin to see how it is something that you want to do rather than continuing the story that you have to do it.  In the shift to wanting to do it perhaps you notice that you feel like you don’t know how to do the thing, or maybe like you don’t have the resources (physical, emotional, mental or other) to do it.  Notice if this is the case.  These are the situations to seek support and advise from others.  Find the “how” so that your mind doesn’t put a stop to it or insist on keeping you victim to it.  In this way you begin to learn that there is nothing that you have to do.  There is only what you want to do or get to do.  When you have this as the relationship with everything in your life the pressure and tension is gone because you stop being in conflict with yourself.  When you are aligned with yourself there is still work and energy expenditure, but the tension of dread of what bad thing might happen is transformed into excitement for what you get to do instead.  You open more into the mystery and worry less of the outcome.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado