Opening into Nothingness

Opening into Nothingness 

Going beyond thought

Stars and material falls into a black holeWhether you are aware of it or not opening into stark nothingness is terrifying for most.  We both hunger to feel emptiness and instantaneously grab onto the next thing or thought the moment we taste even the slightest sliver of nothingness.  We are so bound up in our thoughts, worries, ideas, activities and the like that few of us even get a glimpse of what it feels like to experience total emptiness.  The irony is that emptiness is our natural state of being and yet most of us have never experienced it.  

Emptiness or nothingness is what is prior to or before thought arrives on the scene.  When thought does arrive it creates and colors the world that we see and what we call reality.  Reality for most people is just a conglomeration of their thoughts.  True reality however is completely without thought.  It simply is.  Pure beingness.  Awareness itself.  Why is it that we are so terrified of our natural state of pure beingness?  Well firstly it is because there is no separate, individual self in nothingness.  This means that the you that you think is you, let’s call this the “thought” you, dissolves into nothing.  There is no you in the traditional sense that you’ve come to know.  This feels completely destabilizing to the one you think you are (often people describe it as the feeling of death) and so the reaction-response is to fuse back with thought to feel a sense of stability again.  

Secondly in order to even taste nothingness we must be in a state of total openness and acceptance.  We cannot be attempting to make something happen, figure anything out or control something with our head/thoughts.  All of these put us in a state of resistance or closure, which equates to creating the experience of separation or otherness.  You cannot know nothingness from a state of perceiving otherness.  Many people however try to do this and nothingness becomes another box or container for their mind to explore rather than directly know.  In order to truly experience nothingness you must fuse with it thus becoming it rather than continuing to fuse with thoughts.  

When you make the commitment to open your system and let go of thoughts rather than continue to use your thoughts to figure out how to open your system, you will begin to know the beingness and the world beyond thought.  You cannot get beyond thought through using thought.  You must relinquish the thoughts altogether less your awareness will habitual continue to latch onto them out of familiarity and comfort.   

The End of Otherness 

Surrender into the Self

relationshipsAs we approach nothingness from a still separate point of view some of the experiences that we have are centered around feeling like we won’t know, that we will be totally useless, that we will be completely exposed or vulnerable, that if our mind/thoughts don’t inform us then what will, and above all we doubt because we don’t yet know what is on the other side of our thoughts.  We don’t perceive that we can trust that nothingness will provide and contains everything that is known and needed.  

The only way to really work with this is to allow yourself to feel the energy of all of these states of being that arise.  That means allowing the feeling of not knowing what is or will happen next which brings in the felt experience of trust, feeling exposed and vulnerable which brings in the direct experience of openness, feeling the spacious empty nothingness that is without thoughts which brings in the direct knowing of yourself.  See we often say we want to trust, or we want to be more open, or we want to more clearly and directly know ourselves and we think that we have to do something or figure something out in order to do it.  The truth is that trust, openness and knowledge of self come through you staying with those feeling experiences that you keep trying to avoid which just happen to be trust, openness and knowledge of self.  The direct path to what we desire is always inside of what we are currently experiencing.

To know ourselves, which is the final destination of the spiritual journey, is really just the beginning of life.  Before we know ourselves we are just trying to survive because all we perceive is separation and the fight for our physical needs, desires and existence.  If we have something than it means someone else does not have it and vis versa.  When we perceive otherness someone or something always wins and the other loses.  We fight to save live from the perspective of our eminent demise as we believe death of the body means death of us.

The end of otherness and the bridge into totality is the surrender into nothingness which is the true self or the true you.  This is to walk willingly into our own personalized ego death.  Ego being that perspective which believes itself to be a part, and apart from, rather than the whole.  This is the end to personalization of our lives and the unbending trajectory of the individual needs, wants and desires.  To be clear this does not mean death of the body, but to the perspective that body means separate from.  There is no separate you.  There never has been.  There has only ever been the thought of a separate you.  Separate you is just a thought.  When you relinquish all thought, even for a moment, you immediately realize this.  This is the direct experience and knowledge of self.  This takes you beyond the concept of you to where you no longer perceive other and the will of this body-mind instrument is divinely inspired and moved.  Personal insistences have dissolved and all that remains is God/Love/Spirit of which these vehicles are gladly utilized.  “Your” will becomes Love’s will as there is but one will.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Giving Everything Back to Source

Giving Everything Back to Source 

Tendency to hold on

Studio shot of worried and upset caucasian woman holding hands in pray near chin, squeezing it tight and begging for something, smiling nervously and standing with closed eyes over gray backgroundAs human beings we tend to hold onto everything.  This perpetual holding on gives us a sense of security and like we can somehow manipulate our external reality if we just hold on a little bit tighter.  Holding on is our attempt to control the spontaneous, unpredictability of life so that we are not caught too far off our guard where we perceive that things might get or go “bad”.  This holding onto life keeps our life looking a particular way and provides us with the illusionary experience of consistency and sameness.  While a part of us feels better when this illusionary experience of life appears to be intact, another part of us feels stifled and like it can’t breathe inside of delusion we are perpetuating.  

We not only hold onto material things like homes, jobs, relationships and such, we also hold onto thoughts.  In fact we are almost never entirely without a thought.  For many people to open into the spacious, emptiness beyond thought is terrifying.  I believe that most have never done it for much longer than a second or two, if even that, which means that we are always holding onto something.  Why the terror to let go you may ask?  Perhaps we fear that this world that we live in now, with all the things that we know, will disappear.  Perhaps the tastes we’ve had of freedom have felt “too free” and we prefer some constraint and limitation over our freedom.  Maybe we’ve created the story that we don’t know how to let go, or maybe we don’t even know that we are holding life in the grips of our own mind.  

Regardless of our reasoning or our lack of awareness into ourselves as to our patterns of holding the result of holding is the same.  Holding on always creates some level of tension in our body-mind.  That tension then becomes the filter with which we interpret and experience everything and with which we come to believe what is.  Tension patterns also create disconnection from source or from the larger organizing principle of creation.  This is the inherent function of tension patterns, to be self-protective of this individuated body-mind organism that we call ourselves, and yet simultaneous with this comes reinforcement of the illusion of perceiving yourself as separate from the rest of creation.   

Reconnecting with Source 

Its easier than your mind thinks

Happy girl jumpingRe-establishing connection to source is always easier than our mind thinks that it is.  It is the job of our mind to make things way more complicated than they are in actuality.  People’s minds like to talk about how they have to do this or that, change this or that, or how they just have to surrender and let go already.  Yet for most this simply stays in their mind as another thought or idea that takes up space inside of the infinite spaciousness of ourselves.  I find if people are talking about their need to surrender and let go they are quite far from actually doing it.  Why does letting go or surrendering stay in the mind rather than become our direct experience?   It is because ultimately we don’t really want to let go of what we say we want to let go of.  We prefer our uncomfortable (or unnoticeable for some that have less awareness of themselves) tension patterns and delusional stories of reality over ease and truth because more than anything else we fear what we might lose.  

So fear of loss runs the show of our lives until we boldly and courageously decide to no longer let it.  Not until we are willing to lose everything can we truly experience surrender.  Few people arrive here without exhausting every other possible route first.  We quite literally exhaust ourselves into the truth.  Our beliefs in scarcity, lack, and wrongness, that we won’t have enough, be enough, achieve the right things, things won’t last or turn out, that we’ve failed, will be alone,  etc… triumphs.  

How do we walk this path towards surrender step by step?  I have found that to give everything back to source is the quickest route.  This means making the commitment to first tune into yourself and develop awareness of your patterns of tension and disconnection.  As tension patterns arise at the body level immediately release them.  Don’t try to figure them out or process them at length, simply just drop the tension.  Rather than continue to hold on to it, let it go, just like that.  You will notice instantly more ease and breath in your body.  You will also begin to realize just how powerful you are and how you are the creator of your own tension patterns.  Second is the willingness to let go of your thoughts as they arise.  This will take consistent practice for most.  If you get fixated on a thought recognize the fixation and then let the thought go.  This is important particularly for thoughts that really grab you and bring you into a less resourced and often fearful state.  

As you do this more and more you will be developing your skill set in giving back to source rather than taking from or holding on as if nothing else will ever come your way.  Whenever we give back we are instantaneously rewarded with more energy and aliveness.  What we hold onto we maintain.  At best our energy state stays neutral which means life looks the same and feels mundane most of the time.  However what we give back to life, to source, frees us up and thus we become available to exponentially greater and greater states of energy.  This also means that we almost never know what will happen.  We are in the moment of ever present aliveness, trust, and knowingness in the perfection of it all.  This is what at our heart of hearts we all desire and seek no matter how much our minds want to interfere.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Power of Love

Power of Love 

Infinite Life Force

16152518 - beautiful lotus backgroundMost all of us make claims to the power of love.  On some level we know that love is the ultimate everything and yet when things get “serious” or when we get caught up in our emotional or thinking bodies the power of love is forgotten.  Why is it that we drop love or downplay its position as the grand orchestrator of all of life when things get messy, unclear or uncertain?  Why does our thinking mind along with its linearity and rationality become the prime ruler rather than the heart?  

First of all let me just say that love is the source of infinite life force.  Life force is love, love is life force.  Life force is what makes everything come alive.  It is the breath of the universe and everything within it.  This is why when we feel like we are in love we feel alive, awake, alert and juiced up, because we actually are.  Love, whether for self, other or just as a state of being, brings with it infinite, inexhaustible life force.  It can not because love and life force are one and the same.  

Life force, energy and love are terms that can be used interchangeably.  Life force is the quite literal energy source that powers everything in the universe including your physical body.  It is fairly common knowledge at this point that everything in the universe is energy.  When all matter is broken down into its most basic components all that remains is vibrating energy.  That vibrating energy is life force/love.  Patterns of thoughts, beliefs and perceptions then give shape to that energy and the world of forms that we see with our eyes.

As powerful as our thoughts are in their ability to bring forms to life, they are nothing without the energy source of love to back them up.  Pure, unconditioned love is the most coherent, whole energy source that there is.  When we have thoughts that are fueled by less coherent states of energy, such as fear, rage, or rationality, they are much less efficient or effective and therefore the forms they create are not as optimal, complex or productive.  Less coherent states of energy are simply states of energy that are not as aware of their inherent wholeness.  Love knows it wholeness which is where its extreme power arises.   

Fall from Grace 

Perception of Wrongness

Spiritual conceptual image of a female angelWhen we think about the power of love without being connected with the knowingness of love our power is greatly diminished.  True power does not come from thought alone, but from the intimate acknowledging and resting into love so that its power naturally expresses.  The primarily perception that keeps us disconnected from knowing love intimately is the perception of wrongness.  

When we view through the perception of wrongness we create separation where there is none.  Separation creates a less coherent state of energy because within separation implies a lack of wholeness.  Wrongness means that something must be thrown out of the whole and when that occurs there is less energy/life force available to the system (individual or collective).  Say for example you (or your culture) judge multiple things about yourself, another person, or the environment as wrong.  The more you judge the more you shrink your perspective.  With this comes a sense of confinement and limitation.  Simultaneously the less innately good you feel and the less energy you have available to you.  Manifestation feels more effortful and there is greater disorganization in what gets created. This is a state of decreased coherency where your knowingness of love and ability to utilize the power of love is diminished.  This does not mean that love is actually diminished, but only your perception of it.  Again this happens at individual and collective system levels.  

Perceiving wrongness also brings on both sides of it righteousness and shame.  To defend one’s rightness or hide in one’s shame birth the entire gamut of defensive patterns of self-protection.  This is our fall from grace or love.  This is the imposition of limitation on life force.  This is the disconnection from our power, which is the power of love.   To restore connection and remember the power of love we must dismantle our belief in our own or others wrongness.  To know love rather than think love requires this.  

Love has no boundaries, it penetrates all.  Love brings light to even the darkest dark, to every recess of unconsciousness.  Nothing is brighter than love.  To stand in the radiance of love is to illuminate the entire world.  All healed, all whole, all intimately aware of itself.  From here the purest and most efficiently organized forms of creation are created.  Life force vitalizes all.  This doesn’t happen independently of you, it happens because of you.  At some point we must all surrender to love.  It is inevitable.  We must give away our addiction to less coherent thoughts of wrongness, missing and lack of wholeness, and open our system into greater coherency, full force life force and the power of love.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Finding your Power

Finding your Power 

Moving beyond fear & accepting uncertainty

colorful color splash paintbrush rowWhen people perceive uncertainty fear often strikes.  The key here is perceive.  The truth is uncertainty is the perpetual state that we live in moment to moment.  Nothing is known until the moment that it is experienced and lived.  In this way we are always looking onto a blank canvas and waiting for the next stroke to appear.  What we frequently don’t realize is that we are the artist.  We are the one drawing each stroke and our perception is how we draw.  What we perceive is the picture of life we paint ourselves.  

It is in this way people are not living in the same reality.  There may be the surface appearance that we are all living in the same world, meaning we both see the same objects, and yet how people are experiencing this surface reality of objects is radically different.  It is truly in this way that you are the master-creator of your reality.  It is no joke or just new age spiritual nonsense that you are in charge, you actually are.

So the question becomes why then are we living so disempowered?  Why is it so hard for us to see, know and taste our power?  It is because the veil or covering of fear clouds our awareness and thus only allows us to perceive through its lens.  When fear is our lens we see/perceive threat.  Fear reinforces the idea of separation and promotes self-protection.  Fear is lack of faith and lack of trust.  It’s constantly doubting and questioning because it feels scared and alone.  This is the miserable state of being that most people are living in most of the time.  Know that ultimately fear is just one state of being from which you can choose, yet our tendency is to default to this program of fear whenever we perceive uncertainty.

On a lighter note this state of being of fear is what most of us came here to see through and overcome in order to help bring forth new possibilities of a reality that is lighter, rested, and more joyful for those that are ready for it.  Understand that not everyone is ready for a new reality and that is ok.  Sometimes holding onto patterns of fear are our only known way to create a sense of stability for ourselves.  The desire to hold onto the external sense of stability, as wavering and unstable as it is, outweighs accepting the truth of uncertainty.  However through accepting the truth of uncertainty you allow yourself to rest into it rather than fight it.  The relinquishment of your own inner resistance to uncertainty is what propels you into your power where you find true stability.  Stability in your own beingness that is independent of any circumstance, situation or condition.   

Changing your programming 

Being in the Driver’s seat

Hacker using the Internet hacked abstract computer server, databHow is it then that we change our default response?  How do we reprogram ourselves to a new patterned way of perceiving?  I wish I could give you some elaborately beautiful answer, but Nike said it best with their slogan just do it.  Understand that when we aren’t ready to change, change will seem really complex.  We will feel lost, confused, stuck, frustrated, and like things are impossible or hard to see.  We will think a lot, weigh options, blame, justify, rationalize, validate, but that is all preparation, or said another way, postponement of change.  When we are ready there are no more questions, we just simply see clearly and in that clear seeing we choose differently.  At the end of the day its really that simple.  

It takes however long it takes for us to stop postponing our own change.  It should in some way come as a relief to know this, as it means your ability to shift how you perceive and thus change your programming and the reality you experience is always up to you in each and every moment.  It should feel empowering to know this because it puts you back into the driver’s seat.  The truth is that you have always, always, always been in the driver’s seat, you just haven’t realized that you where.  This is what is called unconsciously creating our reality.  It is based on previous learning and experiences and it tends to just run on automatic in the background.  It doesn’t require much energy and feels somewhat static, which gives the illusion of a consistent or same world in which things can’t change, won’t change or don’t change.  Its not that things don’t change, it’s that you don’t change and when you don’t change the world looks the same day in and day out.  

The key here is that there is no right and no wrong to this.  There is not a right or wrong perception/experience.  There is only your preference.  What is your preference?  How do you want to perceive/experience?  Do you want to look through the lens of fear or the lens of safety?  You are not choice-less in the matter, you are the chooser.  When you get that life is not based on circumstances, but instead is based on you, you will have gotten what it means to live empowered.  

When you live empowered you are consciously, deliberately choosing your perception.  This means that you are free.  Free to decide for yourself.  Free to no longer allow circumstances, conditions or other people and their actions/non-actions decide for you.  No more having to play nice to hope to get what you want or control other peoples actions or responses to you.  Free to see how you desire to see.  Free to live in your preferred reality rather than the one that has been spoon fed to you.  Freedom from backlash or negative impact because you realize that you are in charge and that is true no matter what occurs.  This doesn’t mean that potential “negative” things won’t ever occur, but it does mean that you are the one deciding what you choose to term negative or not.   Again remember not everyone is ready for this level of freedom.  Not everyone wants it yet.  That is ok and perfect.  Do also realize that this freedom is always here, always present and always ready for you once you ready for it.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Your life is not your own

Your life is not your own

Existence beyond being a body

Basic RGBTruly your life has never been your own.  What the heck does that mean?  If your life isn’t yours than whose is it?  That is a great beginning question to ask yourself.  We make a lot of assumptions about who/what we are with very little investigation as to if those assumptions are true.  One of the primary assumptions that pretty much most everyone makes is that they are a separate person.  It is hard to fathom otherwise.  If you aren’t the you that you’ve thought that you are then who are you exactly?  What would it even be like to know yourself other than the you that you think you are?

Let’s start at the beginning.  Not just the beginning of your memory or of this physical body, but of who/what you were before your were born.  Did you exist or does your existence only begin once you have a body, and even beyond that when you are aware that you have a body?  When you where a baby, prior to your physical memory or knowingness that you had a body or existed, did you not yet exist?  Simply because we don’t have a physical memory of our existence or an awareness that we exist does not mean that we do not exist.  Nothing proves this more than when we are infants, not yet knowing that we have a body or that we exist, and yet we clearly un-doubtingly exist.  

Existence has nothing to do with whether or not we have a body or know we have a body.  That being the case we must entertain that our life as we know our life to be may very well be made up of a bunch of untrue assumptions that we’ve simply learned that we are rather than the truth of who we are.  If this idea that you are not your body is true, and you exist without a body and even without the awareness that you exist, that poses a whole world of new questions to ask yourself about what is and what you are. 

Asking these questions opens up the doors to a new knowingness of yourself, but you must earnestly seek to find.  For without the hunger to discover more, more will not be discovered.  That impulse inside of you must be sparked alive in order to provide the energy needed to guide your path and attract the ever expanding awareness of who and what you are to you.   

The Grand Orchestrator 

Coming to know your true self

Bright Flower of Life With Stars On WhiteI like to use the analogy of the body, meaning this body that you have which currently houses your being, as one cell in a much larger body.  Just like this human body is made up of trillions of cells that are specialized to perform certain functions, there is a larger body which all humans, and really everything in creation, make up together.  As humans we often are not aware that this larger body, of which we are inseparably a part of, exists.  Yet simply because we are not aware of it doesn’t mean that it does not exist.  It just means that we haven’t become aware of it yet.  

For simplicity sake recognize that every human, animal, plant and mineral form on this earth is really just one body (not multiple bodies) and that every individuated expression, meaning each and every form of this one body, has its own specialized function depending on its blueprint.  At the level of the human body cell we call this blueprint DNA.  DNA is that encoded information which tells an individual cell in the body how to function.  Going to the next level up, which is the mind (i.e. what most of us identify as who we are) organizes the entire human organism so that there is harmonization of all of the cells and systems of the body working together rather than individual cells just doing their own thing.   In this way you can think of the mind as blueprint/DNA for the entire human body as a unit.  Then at the next level beyond that, that of the larger one body of which all is a part of, the blueprint is the soul.  The soul writes the instructions for all of creation.  You can think of the soul as the DNA for the collective creation body.  Even the soul, which knows oneness and inseparability, has something that informs it, which is the grand orchestrator.  You can call this source, God, Love or whatever name fits your fancy.  It is the ultimate intelligence from which all of creation or all of the universe is born and that which informs and organizes all of it.  

This brings us back to the beginning and this notion that your life is not your own.  Your life is 100% completely divinely orchestrated.  Not because your body or mind is in charge, but because something beyond what you may currently know is in charge.  When life appears to not be going your way or things occur that you don’t like, it is because you are seeing from a very limited perspective.  Its the perspective of being a separate human being, which you have never been.  That which is viewing the circumstances is the separate body-mind which is not yet aware of its larger body self.

So what is your choice here?  The choice is to surrender to that which appears to be mysterious to our mind and learn to develop faith.  Faith is how you will come to know yourself beyond the mind.  Faith is the bridge from mind to soul.  Faith allows you to recognize your self beyond this person you’ve come to know yourself to be.  Faith is the end of all resistances, all insistences, all wrongness, all judgment.  Faith is the end of experiencing separateness.  Faith is the end of suffering.  Faith brings you home into the remembrance and recognition of the larger truth that you are.  When you get this you experience total freedom and not the powerless that the mind thinks it will experience because it comes to the end of thinking its charge.  Instead you become fully empowered in the truth of you.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Loving yourself

Loving yourself 

Unlocking the door to being alive

11613435 - abstract background with hearts.Loving yourself is the answer to every single question you’ve ever asked.  How do I get more energy, how do I have less pain, how do I feel more, how do I heal, how do I experience my soul, how do I know bliss, how do I know what to do, how do I trust, how do I make more money, how do I have the relationship that I want, how do I have more confidence, how do I serve…?   The list goes on.  Every single question that you have ever, ever, ever had comes back to this very easily understood yet less easily applied way of being and existing.  

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?  Why do we feel such unworthiness in our existence?  We fundamentally know that we “should” love ourselves and that loving ourselves is the key that unlocks the door to being alive and yet we don’t choose it.  We judge ourselves, blame ourselves, think we should be different than we are, worry that we are imperfect, that we’ve said or done the wrong thing or that we will, that we won’t be enough.  This can come out directly towards ourselves or we can direct/project this onto others or onto our situations and circumstances in life.  Either way the root is the same.  Something about us (or existence) is unlovable.  

Most of us have become masters at trying to get love and then pushing it away once we begin to taste it.  Personal relationships are a fertile ground for this type of behavior.  We so badly want love from another and yet simultaneously can’t receive it when its given.  This can also show up in wanting acknowledgement or reception by others of our work or something that we create.  We want the reflection of love through receiving attention yet when we get the slightest amount of that attention we feel uncomfortable, like we don’t want to be seen.  So this is the paradox of wanting to be seen and yet not wanting to be seen.  Wanting to be loved yet not feeling worthy of it.   

Return to Love 

Unloved to Loved

12635267 - hart graphic backgroundUnlovability is the root of all pain and suffering.  I believe it to be the primary root of most all sickness as well.  This is good news because if being unlovable is the root then the cure is evident and found in your return to love.  How do you return to love?  It begins with the seeing of how it is you have not been able to love yourself.  You must turn and look towards your unlovability.  Acknowledge just how hard it is to fully and unconditionally love yourself.  Looking at where you push love away in everyday situations.  Perhaps you can’t accept a compliment, maybe nothing you do is ever enough even if it was done well, maybe you don’t let yourself stop and rest because people “need you” so you must show up or you won’t have or accomplish enough, perhaps you can give love but feeling it directed towards you creates a feeling of shutdown or separation.  

Rather than keeping yourself in the dark be willing to look at how you push away and resist love.  It takes courage and yet you can do it.  The amount of light you can emit into this world is directly correlated with how much love you can receive and know yourself to be.  When you know yourself as love it is the end of figuring anything out.  There really are no more questions at this point, at least questions that come from lack and unknowing.  The only questions that seem to arise are those that are in direct connection with your already knowing state of self.  Its like asking a question but already knowing the answer simultaneously.  

When you know that you are love you can serve no matter what.  No insecurity or doubt in self arises about what you are capable of or what you should do.  You become a pure vessel and transmission of God/light and true giving arises.  You are no longer giving to others or creating out of lack of worth of self and trying to prove your worthiness to get validated or your safety needs met.  Instead you simple give because that is what you are.  There is no agenda.  It is not about self-sacrifice or being a martyr as those things come from the perception of lack, but instead about simply giving as the abundance that you know yourself to be.  Nothing is unsolvable and everything is seen as love.

Being rested as love is the most energizing and alive state of being.  The boundless freedom of you is experienced.  You no longer need anything from anyone or anything.  You know yourself, accept yourself and realize that you are love.  You can’t not see everything else as that for love is the fabric, the substratum and the essence of all of creation.  You included.  You are loved.  You are love. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Innovation of the human being

Innovation of the human being 

Integration of human and spirit

Man with conceptual spiritual body artI’ve always been a little jealous of people who seem to have careers where what they do is logical, linear and certain.  They can explain in concepts and visuals what they do, which makes sense to the minds of others.  Where there is a service or product that performs a specific reproducible function and everyone perceives the direct value in it for them, like being a chef, delivering the mail or selling toilets. 

It seems that the role I incarnated to play has not been those things.  Instead I appear to be in the position to help man/woman realize, become and integrate his/her spiritual nature (mostly unknown to people outside of conceptual thinking) into their known human being existence, through expanding their perception (how they view reality) and thus changing the structure and form that make up everything from the human body to all forms on this planet.  I’ve pursued this through taking on the commonly known profession of chiropractic, which at its original tenants and core intentions has always been about reconnecting man the human to his/her spiritual nature through clearing interference in the nervous system, the nervous system being that which transmits our nonphysical self into this human form so that we might know who and what we really are.  

Unfortunately over the years most of the chiropractic profession has gone for acceptance in the mainstream culture rather than sticking to its roots and so the public has come to know us as “back pain specialists”.  With this most of chiropractic has became devoid of spirit like all other medical professions, and the fundamental aspect that heals once again being left out of the picture.  The human body being seen as a machine with broken parts that need fixing rather than the recognition of the essence of what we are, which is the healer of all, and bringing that more and more into the direct experience for each being. 

There is a universal intelligence and an intelligent energy which is the expression of this intelligence.  Call it spirit, soul, essence, source, truth or whatever you would like.  It is all the same one thing.  It does not care if you believe in it or not.  It is.  It can’t not be.  It is who and what you are beyond the form you identify yourself as, even if you deny its existence.  It is you.  When people first begin to experience this they might notice energy moving throughout their body.  They might notice their body wanting to move on its own  without them volitionally moving their body.  This intelligence is beyond thought, but is inclusive of thought.  However because it is beyond thought the mind solely can not and will not ever be able to figure it out no matter how hard it tries.  In order to contact this intelligence it requires that the human mind develop trust and faith, for without that you will not be able to penetrate the thick and seemingly solid barriers that the mind creates to deny your own existence.   It is also helpful to be in the presence of beings that have already penetrated those mental barriers as they will create a field that will give you greater permission to contact this intelligence and intelligent energy (aka you) if your openness to it and desire for it is strong.  

So how do you fit all of that into a 60 second elevator speech or even a 30 minute conversation?  Now you can see why sometimes I wish I could just say “I sell toilets”.  Ha, but no I decided to become a human being innovator, literally upgrading the human being, how they perceive and function, so that this next level of ourselves can move from unknown to known, from mysterious to undeniable.   

Child Walking in Woods to Glowing Red DoorThe thing about being a human being innovator is that there is not a magical recipe.  Yes there are patterns to things, things that can be observed and seem to be common to most people’s experiences, but its not always cut and dry.  We are not patterns, we are infinite beings of wisdom and love.  In that each being has their own set of experiences in whatever the ways are that they need to experience.  The expressions are infinite and as much as it is a mystery to you it is also a mystery to me until it reveals itself.  I’m not privy to any secretive information.  

Above all else I trust that intelligence which knows and see my role as energizing and activating that as much as I possibly can so that your own wisdom and love can inform and move you.  I do not get to decide what occurs or what reveals itself.  I simply come into agreement with that which knows and have faith in the perfect orchestration of whatever reveals itself in whatever ways it does, even if that means that my mind (or your mind) doesn’t like the experience that you are having.  

Despite my best attempts to map things out and make them linear I feel like I have often failed or come up short.  Trying to put things into boxes that don’t have boxes in order to make them relatable to minds that will never totally get it because they’re not meant too.  I’ve definitely left gaps, missed pointers and all the while have been “figuring it out” myself as its been revealed to me.  What I’ve come to accept, sometimes grudgingly so, is that for those that want certainty, controlled responses or to only feel certain states of being (like only feeling good and never feeling bad) my work is typically not for them.  Not everyone is ready to surrender the control that their mind has over them.  That is not a judgment, its simply a stage of development, and we are ready when we are ready.  It is however, as I see it, the next stage of our human development and why I believe I am incarnated at this time.

So a huge thank you to all of you who come to see me and are bravely walking forward on the path of innovation of the human being.  I love you all.  For truly without you none of this is possible.  Thank you for your help in the transition of this planet, for challenging your beliefs, shifting your perspectives, and being willing to see yourself as more then your mind sees even when that more is not yet fully seeable.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

The root of shame

The root of shame 

Wanting to hide from others and self

40630695 - big tree roots and sunshine in a green forestWe have all experienced shame.  It comes with the feelings of not wanting to be seen by others or even to see our own selves fully.  Though we may feel an underlying discomfort simply in existing we don’t allow ourselves to see ourselves in the entire range of how we feel about ourselves.  If we did this little shame game that we play with ourselves would be over because we would be blasting the light of our awareness on our massive misperceptions of ourselves, misperceptions that currently feel very real to us, and they would be seen, no longer hiding out only in the recesses of our mind.  

Within shame lies those aspects of ourselves which we reject the most, those that we feel are unacceptable, despicable and from which we decide whether or not we are a worthy human being.  Now some people may think or say that to blast the light of their awareness onto themselves would feel too bright, they would see too much, too much that they are not yet ready to forgive or love.  This is valid and why typically there is a “process” to healing.  This process of healing is simply the preparation or readiness time that we need in order to reach this state of full love and forgiveness of self.  The healing itself happens in a moment, an instant, of pure presence and love with self for self.  There is no actual process to it.  

The fundamental key here is awareness of self.  Often we are not fully checked in to ourselves.  Not seeing ourselves.  Not noticing or being aware of how we feel about ourselves, what we are thinking about ourselves, etc.  Sometimes we are a bit like walking zombies, not awake, not aware, and using whatever we can to distract ourselves from paying attention to ourselves.  When we notice discomfort rather than turn away from it we must turn our awareness towards it so that we can see and illuminate (i.e. shine our own awareness onto) ourselves.   

Moving into awareness of self 

Seeing self, loving self

Portrait of sad blond little girl sitting on the bridgeThe root of all shame is lack of awareness of self.  If we were fully aware of ourselves shame would not exist because we simply would know the full scope of who and what we are.  But because we do not know ourselves and are not fully aware of ourselves we experience shame.  Shame comes with the limited lens or set of perceptions that we are wrong, bad, not enough, impure, unholy, and the like, which we have come to believe about ourselves because we don’t know the full truth of ourselves.  Being human is to experience these perceptions or see through this particular lens of confusion.  If we identify with only our human self then we will believe that we are only these things and the shame we feel persists.  

To wake up is to begin to know yourself beyond simply being human.  Yes you are having a human experience, there is no denying that, however I want to invite you to entertain that you are something more than human.  You are literally God in form.  That is the truth, but what will it take for you to know it?  

The first step is to investigate, rather than move away, from uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about yourself.  Be willing to see what you are believing to be true that is creating the feelings of discomfort or shame.  Are you believing that you suck, that you’re bad, that you’re not good enough or worthy or not lovable.  Investigate and see.  Through this you are illuminating yourself.  Beginning to wake yourself up more and more to yourself.  Seeing your patterns.  Only from this seeing can a new perspective and knowing of self begin to arise.  This new perspective is not something that you have to do or figure out, it simply emerges as you begin to investigate and know yourself more and more.  

As you know, see and wake up to more of yourself the more capacity you begin to have to embrace and love those aspects of yourself that you have been illuminating through your process of investigation.  Your heart opens more to those human parts of you that may feel like they have done wrong or are inherently bad.  You begin to embrace the human parts through this waking up to self and simultaneously begin to realize that those parts are God too.  The parts that have been feeling left out, separate, alone and isolated begin to know God too because you are shining your light awareness upon them.  In that their truth is revealed and they re-integrate back into the whole of which they have always belonged.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Being a clear channel

Being a clear channel 

How you know what you know

36060498 - kundalini meditationWe are all channeling and thus transmitting something.  Whether that something is beliefs that society or our parents taught us, or values that our own beliefs have instilled in us, or our “higher self”, or intergalactic/interplanetary/inter-dimensional  information, its all channeled.  So what does channeling mean.  It essentially means that we are tapped into an information stream or source and we are transmitting, emitting or expressing that information through our physical vehicle (body) in some manner.  Information becomes energy or expression.  So whether that information comes from the beliefs in our minds, or from beyond our ordinary minds, is a matter of the resonance we have to connect with a particular stream of information (meaning how relevant it is for us) and also how clear of a channel we are for information to come through.  

What interferes or distorts the information that comes through?  In being on this planet and having this particular human form there are a multitude of filters that come along with having this experience.  These filters if you will, distort information and sometimes block information completely from our awareness for the sake of preserving the mission of you having this human experience.  As frustrating at it can be sometimes we need to not know certain information as it would interfere with the bigger picture of why we came here to have this experience in the first place.  These filters that are in place are made up of beliefs and the ways that you perceive reality to be.  There are both collectively agreed upon filters that allow our society to function with certain agreed upon laws and rules and there are also individual filters which are part of your own theme.

With all of that said there are ways to penetrate into deeper knowings and intelligence sources.  The clearer you are the more access you have to information beyond the what most people view as ordinary. Let’s explore what creates a clear channel and the basic components or substratum of all information.   

What creates a clear channel?

A vessel for love & wisdom

I have found that the most important components for being a clear channel are having as little attachment, agenda or polarity to any particular flavor of information and being able to still or quiet your thinking mind.  Simultaneous with this having a general disposition towards being of service to others accelerates or amplifies the levels which you can penetrate into in your awareness.  It is a combination of being receptive enough to tune and listen and also a willingness to share in support of others.

The substratum for all things in the universe is love.  Love is the fabric with which everything that is manifest comes into visible and invisible forms.  Intelligence or information is interwoven and inseparable from this fabric of love.  It informs and shapes the love into what it will express as.  This intelligence is infinite in its knowing and thus creates infinite expressions.  Thus if you distill everything down to its essential essence it is this intelligence/love combination.  So in essence everything you channel or express/transmit or that you are is this.  It then becomes matter of how many filters are between this original knowingness and where you are in your current level of awareness.  

An important question to ask yourself is what do you want to become a channel of?  What do you want be emitting or transmitting by your very presence on this earth?  What knowingness do you want to express?  Part of the distortion of having this human form is the forgetting of what we are and the illusion of separation.  Most of us intuitively know that there is more, but even that requires some level of being able to penetrate beyond the usual workings of our reality.  Asking yourself questions such as the above brings you into a more focused and deliberate direction.  Many people are  simply waiting for something to hit them and then they think they will “know”, but really it is a conscious decision to move in a particular direction and then intelligence/love organizes itself around our intention.  

Hand tuning fm radioLike a radio you are tuning to different streams of information available within the infinite field of reality and then transmitting the information contained in those streams.  Moving your dial between channels or streams requires the deliberate focusing of your attention.  If you’re not enjoying the particular channel that you are tuned into then refocus your attention by asking yourself different questions.  Quiet your mind, receive and transmit your new station. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Embracing limitation

Embracing limitation 

Stepping into limited experiencing

20595789 - wall around the girl as the fear conceptWe are often striving to grow, expand, deepen and increase our experience of ourselves.  It is phenomenal that most of us have this hunger.  This hunger is often sparked from a feeling of knowing there is more to existence (life) than we have been experiencing.  This feeling that there is more often comes with the awareness that we are currently experiencing limitation in some way and in response to that feeling we’ve lit a fire inside of us to move through into more.  

The reason this fire gets lit is because the experience of limitation is uncomfortable, frustrating, and annoying.  No one enjoys feeling limitation, so in order to not feel limitation we find ways, places, tools, and the like to move us into feeling less limited and more free.  Being free is our most natural, innate state.  So when limitation arises it contradicts that which we know to be more true, that we are free.

So how do we rest in the knowingness that we are free while simultaneously experiencing limitation?  The key here is in embracing what we perceive to be our limitation.  Now almost no one will readily do this.  This is one of the primary reasons why we have a field of “healing” in the first place.  No one wants to embrace those things or experiences that feel crappy, such as limitation.  Often it feels like we are “going in the wrong direction” if we embrace that which we are trying to change or don’t like, almost like we are inviting it in rather than transforming it.  

The truth is when you embrace you do invite it, but you invite in that which is already there.  Our frustration comes when we don’t invite or include in what is already present.  In that way we resist a part of our experience rather than accept our experience.  We all know that what we resist persists, so what you end up getting is more and more of the experience of limitation or whatever it is you don’t like.   

The other side of embracing limitation

Your free self

What happens on the other side of embracing limitation?  When we are able to drop into receiving what is presenting in our experience the pressure to have to be different subsides, which is experienced as a huge relief to our system.  That thing that we all call “stress” seems to relax.  What is really relaxing is us.  Its through this process of accepting what is that our freedom can begin to be felt and experienced.  We are now free from something about us or in our experience having to be different, better, or changed.  What then arises is a state of presence; we become present.  

Underneath the experience of limitation are the thoughts and beliefs that you are not capable, that something is not possible, or that something is fixed or solid.  None of these beliefs are ultimately true, but they are true to a part of you that is experiencing the limitation.  When that part that is experiencing limitation is felt and allowed its calms down, and rather than it controlling your experience, something else arrives on the scene.  That something else that arrives is experienced as a calmer, stiller, clearer and more aware presence.  That is you, the free you.  

The free you that you truly are never goes anywhere.  It just gets covered up by thoughts, beliefs, concepts and ideas, which confuse you and make you feel like you have no idea what is going on.  Most of us are trying to fix or figure things out from this confused, covered up aspect of ourselves which makes us feel like we are moving in circles and never getting closer to the truth. 

Fallen angel with black wingsIt is only through surrendering to these parts of ourselves, ending our battle with them, that we can move through.  This may feel like failure, like giving up, like losing fight, or like the wrong direction because you are so identified with the part that feels the limitation and so determined to overcome it and not give into it.  If you simply just let this part win, allow the experience of limitation without the fight, I promise you something else will arrive on the scene.  That something else that arrives has always been there its just that its been covered up by the battle to make some aspect of itself different.  When you end the battle now you can perceive this truer aspect of self.  The battle that you create inside is what perpetuates the limitation and continues what feels like the never ending cycle to nowhere.  When you are willing to rest your sword against your own experience your freedom awaits you.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado