WAKING UP FROM FEAR PARALYSIS

WAKING UP FROM FEAR PARALYSIS 

The collective freezer

We are living in a collective freezer and largely unaware of the frigid weather all around us.  These cold conditions have paralyzed many of us into a state of contraction, numbness and disconnection.   Side effects of frozenness are subtlety holding your breath, tensing your body, not feeling safe to be yourself, not fully sharing or expressing yourself in world, believing things might go bad or not work out and feeling like you are not going to be ok.  Frozenness is riddled with worry, doubt, insecurity, inhibition, vigilance and absence of trust in self, other or life.  Its focus is on minimizing disruption, change, and uncertainty at all costs.  It is not concerned with thriving, evolution or advancement, but instead solely with preservation of what is and attempting to keep things the same.

Clearly it is impossible to keep things the same.  The one screamingly obvious truth is that everything is constantly changing.  Yet despite the obviousness of this we attempt to control the change.  This state of inner non-acceptance of what is keeps us looking in the rearview mirror.  Trying to keep a version of ourselves, our body, or our environment that was previously known to us.  Perhaps a version of our life that we liked more or that felt safer because it was more known to us thus giving us the illusion of greater stability.  What we fail to really accept is that everything has a rhythm, a beginning, middle and an end.  This is true for everything within the physical universe.  All will come and go.  

It is through stretching yourself into greater acceptance of this fact of the ever changing nature of the universe that you will begin the unthawing process.  When you stop trying to hold things in place you begin to recognize the movement that is all around you.  The block of ice that you’ve been keeping yourself inside of starts to melt.  The frigid, rigid fear container loses its sharp harshness and with that you begin to notice your breath again.  A warmth arrives that allows the muscles to relax.  That which you withheld or kept separate or silent now begins to move inside of you and take expression.  You stop worrying so much about yourself and instead start living again or maybe living for the first time.  

The important thing to realize here is that you are in charge of the defrosting process.  In fact it is 100% solely up to you.  That doesn’t mean that support isn’t available, because it is, but the choice to end the choice for fear is yours.  You don’t have to keep picking up the same fear story, feelings and sensations.  You are bigger than and beyond any fear thought.   

BEYOND THE CHOICE FOR FEAR

Finding all the places that you hide out

The first step in ending your attachment relationship with fear is by finding all the places where you choose it.  See our choosing of fear is largely unconscious to us.  We simply imbibe it as part of the air we breathe and don’t do much to question it because it’s one of those collectively agreed upon assumptions that has been left un-investigated.  Its takes a certain slowing down of the mind  and recognition of our more subtle beingness so that we can attune and clearly see these unconscious assumption patterns that we have about life.  

As you begin this investigation process into yourself you may find that there are certain things or situations that arise which you feel that fear is the only choice.  Where you get hijacked and your nervous system responds with the fear cascade of attack, protection, disconnection and vigilance.  These are your growth edges.  Wherever it is that you feel like you have no choice but to respond in a certain way is a misinformed and disempowered perspective.  The key that I want to keep pointing to here is choice.  It is one thing to deliberately choose fear and allow that choice to create the programmed nervous system response for that choice, it is another thing entirely to not consciously choose it and be swept into that response.  If a lion is chasing you choosing fear and the subsequent neurophysiological cascade that follows may be appropriate unless you want to get eaten, however rarely are any real lions chasing us.  

So outside those incredibly rare moments in our lives when we truly need our survival mechanism to be activated the choice for pure survival/preservation and the attack, flight or freeze response is just a default mode.  This should feel like really great news to you because it means that you are in charge.  You are not victim to your nervous system, instead it responds to you.  Its only that you have not been aware of your choice, of what you’ve been choosing or even that you can/do choose.  

This is why at some point we have to turn our attention from the outside world and all the seeming external triggers and look within.  Sometimes this seems like a dark and bleak void, and perhaps even boring direction.  This is only because we haven’t spent much time paying actual attention to ourselves and therefore there is this undiscovered terrain of which we have not navigated before.  You may feel like you don’t know how or what you are doing, and when you first open that inner door you may not see much.  But as with any worthwhile endeavor persistence pays off.  Your willingness and dedication to continue to peer inside reveals an previously unknown or unconscious world to you.  You come to see and know yourself.  You see the intricacies of your psyche and illuminate their workings simply with your attention and awareness on them.  It is here that you dismantle your conditioned responses to life and reclaim your active choice.  In truth the choice has always been yours, but until you turn within and unequivocally see that fact, your mind will play tricks of denial on you and you will project your power outwards onto objects, situations and other people.  The choice beyond fear is the choice for freedom and an experience of life where you are present, available and fully alive.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Insisting on Non-wrongness

Insisting on Non-wrongness 

Moving past regret, remorse, doubt and judgment

sprial fractalWhat would your life feel like if you insisted on non-wrongness rather than the perspective that things are wrong, that you’ve done something wrong or that there are mistakes that you or others have made?  We are so often tormented by our own inner voices that fight for the story of imperfection and wrongness.  The concept of wrongness is so engrained in our thought patterns that it completely filters and taints the way that we perceive the world.  Most do not even question their perspective of wrongness, they simple accept this perspective unconsciously and live feeling regret, remorse, doubt and in judgment of self or others.  

The perspective of wrongness creates immense suffering.  It kicks people out of the “kingdom of God” or said another way, out of the experience of heaven, bliss, and love at all times.  Rather than perceiving the divine orchestration of God/the universe being all pervasive, our story of wrongness kicks in and says “this is God” and “this is not God”.  Or this one thing is perfect, but this other thing is not perfect.  This is right, but this is wrong.  Hence duality and polarity are created and our experiences are of separation and suffering.  What we fail to realize is that this separation that we are experiencing is not outside of us.  It does not come from some random outer place.  It comes from within our own heads.  It is our mind that determines the story of wrongness and only you can change your mind.  Nothing outside of you can do that for you.  

Why is it that we have this inner judger of right and wrong, perfect and imperfect, and included and not included?  We have been born into and simultaneously have bought into a collective belief system that is driven by this very concept.  Get that wrongness is simply a concept, an idea, it has no real validity except that which have and continue to give to it.  What if you no longer gave any energy to the concept, idea and belief of wrongness?  What if when things arose within your experience of life you saw them as perfect no matter if you liked what was presenting itself or not?  This is the path to everlasting freedom, to perceiving the truth of perfection and the all pervasive intelligent design of every atom and galaxy of the universe.   

Choosing what you’ve chosen 

Beyond the personal

Night sky praiseDue to the fact that we have been submerged in this belief of wrongness for our entire human life there is some work to do in transitioning from perceiving wrongness to non-wrongness.  The first thing is to stop insisting that what is, is in any way wrong whatsoever.  This means everything.  From the thing that your partner said to you that you didn’t like, to the thing you did but regretted or questioned doing after you did it, to something your boss or parents did or didn’t do, to some bad feeling state or physical pain you are experiencing, or some “accident” that occurred that you are perceiving as bad or detrimental.  As you move out of the perspective of wrongness and choose non-wrongness you also no longer experience fear or doubt of any kind because you see more and more the pure perfection of how everything is rather than seeing mistakes or wrongness.  

To choose what you’ve consciously or unconsciously chosen, which is to accept what is, frees you from all self hate and other hate.  To judge as wrong and resist what you’ve chosen is to create separation where there is no separation and it always feels bad.  It leaves you feeling restless, resistant, angry, anxious, annoyed, wounded or hurt.  It creates a state of dis-“ease” and supports separation rather than wholeness.  When you decide to accept your experiences, seeing yourself as the chooser of all of your experiences, whether or not you can see from your current perspective that you’ve chosen what you are experiencing, you experience a coming together and eventual complete unification with all of life.  

Sometimes it is hard for us to see how/why we have chosen certain experiences, particularly painful ones.  What I can say is that someway, somehow we are the ultimate chooser of it all.  Sometimes we choose experiences for our own personal growth and expansion and at other times we choose experiences to help others with their lessons.  Still beyond that we choose experiences to support the collective human species and beyond that the universe at large to expand, evolve and grow.  Our lives are much more than the small personal lives we tend to perceive on a day to day basis.  We are part of much larger and larger bodies that are more inclusive than just our individual lives.  

We are not always aware of what level our choice in experience is supporting.  Whether its just personal, or for other self, the collective or universal, but knowing this and have this perspective that you are bigger than your individual person can help you shift from the question of “why is this happening to me?” and perceiving a sense of alienation or wrongness, into a perspective of seeing the larger orchestration of life of which your person is a part of.  In this larger perspective our individual person often doesn’t know what it is supporting, but it is rested in knowing the non-wrongness that is inherent from this larger perspective.   

Doing the work to choose non-wrongness will open you up more and more to larger perspectives and aspects of your collective and universal being from where you will be able to experience more consistent bliss and love no matter what seems to be occurring in your personal life experience.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Your life is not your own

Your life is not your own

Existence beyond being a body

Basic RGBTruly your life has never been your own.  What the heck does that mean?  If your life isn’t yours than whose is it?  That is a great beginning question to ask yourself.  We make a lot of assumptions about who/what we are with very little investigation as to if those assumptions are true.  One of the primary assumptions that pretty much most everyone makes is that they are a separate person.  It is hard to fathom otherwise.  If you aren’t the you that you’ve thought that you are then who are you exactly?  What would it even be like to know yourself other than the you that you think you are?

Let’s start at the beginning.  Not just the beginning of your memory or of this physical body, but of who/what you were before your were born.  Did you exist or does your existence only begin once you have a body, and even beyond that when you are aware that you have a body?  When you where a baby, prior to your physical memory or knowingness that you had a body or existed, did you not yet exist?  Simply because we don’t have a physical memory of our existence or an awareness that we exist does not mean that we do not exist.  Nothing proves this more than when we are infants, not yet knowing that we have a body or that we exist, and yet we clearly un-doubtingly exist.  

Existence has nothing to do with whether or not we have a body or know we have a body.  That being the case we must entertain that our life as we know our life to be may very well be made up of a bunch of untrue assumptions that we’ve simply learned that we are rather than the truth of who we are.  If this idea that you are not your body is true, and you exist without a body and even without the awareness that you exist, that poses a whole world of new questions to ask yourself about what is and what you are. 

Asking these questions opens up the doors to a new knowingness of yourself, but you must earnestly seek to find.  For without the hunger to discover more, more will not be discovered.  That impulse inside of you must be sparked alive in order to provide the energy needed to guide your path and attract the ever expanding awareness of who and what you are to you.   

The Grand Orchestrator 

Coming to know your true self

Bright Flower of Life With Stars On WhiteI like to use the analogy of the body, meaning this body that you have which currently houses your being, as one cell in a much larger body.  Just like this human body is made up of trillions of cells that are specialized to perform certain functions, there is a larger body which all humans, and really everything in creation, make up together.  As humans we often are not aware that this larger body, of which we are inseparably a part of, exists.  Yet simply because we are not aware of it doesn’t mean that it does not exist.  It just means that we haven’t become aware of it yet.  

For simplicity sake recognize that every human, animal, plant and mineral form on this earth is really just one body (not multiple bodies) and that every individuated expression, meaning each and every form of this one body, has its own specialized function depending on its blueprint.  At the level of the human body cell we call this blueprint DNA.  DNA is that encoded information which tells an individual cell in the body how to function.  Going to the next level up, which is the mind (i.e. what most of us identify as who we are) organizes the entire human organism so that there is harmonization of all of the cells and systems of the body working together rather than individual cells just doing their own thing.   In this way you can think of the mind as blueprint/DNA for the entire human body as a unit.  Then at the next level beyond that, that of the larger one body of which all is a part of, the blueprint is the soul.  The soul writes the instructions for all of creation.  You can think of the soul as the DNA for the collective creation body.  Even the soul, which knows oneness and inseparability, has something that informs it, which is the grand orchestrator.  You can call this source, God, Love or whatever name fits your fancy.  It is the ultimate intelligence from which all of creation or all of the universe is born and that which informs and organizes all of it.  

This brings us back to the beginning and this notion that your life is not your own.  Your life is 100% completely divinely orchestrated.  Not because your body or mind is in charge, but because something beyond what you may currently know is in charge.  When life appears to not be going your way or things occur that you don’t like, it is because you are seeing from a very limited perspective.  Its the perspective of being a separate human being, which you have never been.  That which is viewing the circumstances is the separate body-mind which is not yet aware of its larger body self.

So what is your choice here?  The choice is to surrender to that which appears to be mysterious to our mind and learn to develop faith.  Faith is how you will come to know yourself beyond the mind.  Faith is the bridge from mind to soul.  Faith allows you to recognize your self beyond this person you’ve come to know yourself to be.  Faith is the end of all resistances, all insistences, all wrongness, all judgment.  Faith is the end of experiencing separateness.  Faith is the end of suffering.  Faith brings you home into the remembrance and recognition of the larger truth that you are.  When you get this you experience total freedom and not the powerless that the mind thinks it will experience because it comes to the end of thinking its charge.  Instead you become fully empowered in the truth of you.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Living Surrendered

Living Surrendered 

Distinction of acceptance & surrender

34683163 - beautiful young woman jumping on a giant flowerMany people talk about their “need to surrender” as if its another thing on their to do list to get done that they keep procrastinating.  There’s an idea that surrender is this thing that you do once, or maybe a few times, in regards to a particular situation you find yourself within.  Most think that if they could just surrender or let go then their torment will end.  Within this mode of their thinking there is an inherent sense of powerlessness.  If I could just let go” implies feeling choice-less and thus disempowered.  What many people are pointing to when they say that they need to surrender is really that they want to feel empowered and realize their choice in their situation rather than feeling like a victim of it or like its just happening to them. 

This above described situation is really a call for acceptance rather than surrender.  These terms mean different things though many people use them interchangeably.  Acceptance is accepting what is present.  This means accepting rather than fighting or resisting a situation that is currently present.  Acceptance is accepting what is known, what occurred, or what is here.  If we find ourselves in situations that we don’t fully like, that seem like something we don’t want, or that feel overwhelming or jarring to us, we typically don’t want to accept the situation as it is.  The reason for this not wanting to accept what is, is because underneath all the competent facades and masks that people wear, they feel largely disempowered and incapable of being able to work with what is present.  Due to this underlying feeling of disempowerment there develops an unwillingness to want to accept what is and instead we go into trying to manage or control the situation, or we feel collapsed and helpless about it.  This is how the traditional fight, flight or freeze protective/fear responses show up in our lives and keep us defensive rather than empowered.  

Learning acceptance of what is, is fundamental to feeling empowered and recognizing your choice in whatever situations you find yourself within.  Acceptance, will in a way, force you into experiencing your power.  It opens the door into your capacity to see your choices.  With this we often find ourselves stepping into situations needing to show up differently rather than expecting the situation to change.  This can be uncomfortable, which again is another reason we don’t want to accept what is, but ultimately it is what helps us realize our power and shift our underlying baseline feelings of disempowerment and victimhood.  

True surrendered-ness 

Working as intelligent energy

glittery lightSurrender has become such a popular term yet so few are actually experiencing what it is to live surrendered.  Surrender is not just this thing you do when you are at your whits end, feeling helpless and you don’t know what else to do.  In fact in my experience you must feel pretty empowered and know your worth in order to begin to truly taste surrender.  Surrender is an entire way of being and living.  As acceptance is an end of resistance to the known, surrender is an end of resistance to the unknown.  As acceptance is often a doorway into self-empowerment, surrender is a doorway into self-realization.  Self-empowerment is owning your personal value and worth, where self-realization is knowing yourself beyond the person.  Both self-empowerment and self-realization are important in terms of knowing your ultimate self and being able to live that here in this physical-relational world.  

Surrender requires that we use something beyond thought to navigate life. Rather than think-doing, which is how most people operate, surrendered living requires that we open into emptiness of thought, or empty the known.  Not being in resistance to the known is quite helpful for this and is why acceptance is often a preliminary skill set to living surrendered.  When we empty the known, yet simultaneously have unwavering confidence in the unknown (some people call this faith), then rather than thought moving you, soul moves you.  You could also substitute the words love, light, or god for soul.  It is an essence that is beyond what you as the identified thinker/person know.  In a way that thinker/person gets dis-abled, or unable to be used in its traditional mechanism, and something beyond what you’ve identified as you takes the reigns.  It moves your body-mind, it knows.  It knows exactly what to do without it going through your thoughts to figure it out first.  Your mind is still present its just not running the show in any way whatsoever.  

Living surrendered is to be overtaken by soul, by that intelligent energy-awareness that knows, which is really just you from a wider perspective.  Not everyone truly wants this now, nor is it relevant for everyone at this time.  Yet it is part of the developmental progression of beingness and at some point along the path its relevance will find everyone.  It is ultimately inescapable.  When its relevance does find you and you begin to taste surrender its like living magic.  The need for your mind to figure it all out decreases dramatically.  You realize the limitations of the mind and that you are not it.  You feel less and less separate.  There are no more boxes.  Being with another is like being with yourself.  Your body-mind is just moved.  The more and more your soul consumes you the more you realize that you are it and that you’ve never been this mind-personality-body ever.  You re-identify as soul, light, love, god.  

Things still happen, movement occurs, it is incredibly active and simultaneously still.  The perfect orchestration is revealed moment by moment as there is nothing that has to be other that what is.  There is full relinquishment of any personal agendas or will as you see yourself and know yourself, as soul, as Creator, as the One.  You are submerged in the mystery; willingly, gracefully and lovingly, dancing and moving to its rhythms.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Maintaining energy richness

Maintaining energy richness 

Energy states

energy statesOur energy state is pivotal to how we engage with life and how our body functions.  When we are in an energy poor state we have little capacity to do anything other than survive. We typically can’t engage fully in our daily activities, our bodies are ill and there isn’t any energy available for growth, social interactions or contribution.  We are merely trying to make it through the next moment or day.  

Energy neutral is one step beyond energy poor.  In energy neutral we have enough energy to engage in our day to day activities and be “functional” humans, but we are often tired, don’t feel like engaging with others much and have the need to disconnect or check out in order to recover.  Our bodies are not in crisis, but there may be a few things not working as well as we would like them too.  This is the zone where most humans hang out in their energy state.  

Then there is energy rich.  When we are in an energy rich state we are alive.  We actively participate in our lives, our bodies are not just maintaining status quo, but instead are getting healthier and more vital.  We can show up for ourselves and for others.  People often describe flow states as being energy rich.  This is where life seems to unfold effortlessly and in synchronicity with everything else.  

We all have probably had tastes of each of these energy states at various times in our lives.  More often than not when we are not in an energy rich state we are trying to figure out how we can get there again.  So what are the keys to maintaining energy richness?  How do we live there rather than just visit periodically?   

Choosing your state of being 

Realizing the power of choice

47912357 - businesswoman standing in front of opened doors and making decisionEnergy state is based on your level of awareness.  Let me explain.  Most of us do not realize that we are choosing our lives.  What this means is that we have thoughts, emotions and sensations that we believe are random occurrences; that these things simply happen to us.  We are not aware that we are the chooser of such things.  What is it like to stop for a moment and entertain that the sensations you feel, the emotions you experience and the thoughts that you have are not random?  Do you believe it or does some disbelief arrive?  

It is the disbelief that we are the chooser of the things that we experience and that there is seeming randomness in what occurs to us that makes it difficult for us to maintain the energy state of our choosing.  This is because we don’t realize yet that we are choosing.  So how do we realize that we are the chooser and that life is not happening to us, but instead that we are happening to life?  

It begins, as with everything, with awareness.  So what is awareness?  Awareness is the noticing of what is present without being merged with what is.  What this means is noticing your sensations, emotions and thoughts without identifying yourself with your sensations, emotions and thoughts.  For example, say you have the thought “I am stupid”  and you believe that thought to be a true reflection of who you are, you are merged with the thought instead of realizing it is simply a thought and not you.  When you are identifying with thoughts such as these the highest level of energy you will ever experience is energy neutral.  If you are identifying yourself with certain emotions you will have energy neutral to energy poor states and if you identify yourself with your sensations, such as being your pain or a physical condition, you will experience energy poor states.  

Energy rich states result when you realize that you are not your thoughts, feelings and sensations, but simply are aware of them.  When you are aware of them you can be present with them instead of merged with them.  It can seem scary to stay and be present with some sensations, feelings and thoughts.  As you do things may arise in your awareness that you have had a tendency to push down or avoid previously such as inadequacies of self, feelings of powerlessness, shame, etc., but as you stay present instead of merged with, you begin to realize that all of those things you were afraid of are just smoke and mirrors, illusions, never actually real.  As you stay present and aware more and more, you being the chooser of all of your life experiences becomes increasingly apparent.  This is ultimately how you claim, own and live energy richness.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado