Positive thinking stunts your growth
Importance of re-connecting to the negative
As of recent we have been educated on the importance of positive thinking. We’ve been told by all the modern “gurus” that positive thinking is what will move us forward and give us our dream life. Affirmations, notes on our mirrors, mantras, key words, etc. have become our modern day bible. The underlying belief being if you just focus and think positive enough than you will get what you want. Now there is some truth in this as people can use their thoughts to get into a better feeling state and this can attract more of what they think they want into their life. However more than not I see this fail time and time again as people can’t sustain the energy level required to manifest their dreams and soon fall back into their old patterns.
While we have been bombarded by the “positive thinking generation”, we have simultaneously been taught to ignore, dismiss and devalue negative thoughts and feelings, which has seriously stunted our growth and forward movement, as feeling these states generates a shit ton of energy for transformation when one knows how to use these feelings productively.
I’ve noticed that people are adamantly resistant to feeling sadness, fear and anger, which are often defined as negative emotions and less comfortable to feel than joy, happiness or excitement. I must emphasis feeling here because many people will stay in their stories (thoughts) about how sad, fearful and angry they are, but will never actually feel their emotions. This creates mental masturbation, which is one of the greatest ways to create suffering for yourself. Such people often want to move forward, create change, break through and transform and yet simultaneously feel stuck, report that they feel too much, or the opposite extreme, nothing at all even though there is apparent distress in their body or life. In both these situations a person is on the verge of feeling, however they are resistant to feeling negative/uncomfortable feelings.
Finding the fuel (energy) for sustainable change
Most of us are familiar with the saying that “life begins at the edge of your comfort zone”. Feeling negative emotions is feeling uncomfortableness. Personally my depth of awareness and ability to have the life I want has come from allowing and feeling negative or uncomfortable emotions. It’s not to stay in those states forever, but instead to gain insight and wisdom through the new perspective in which they offer, and to generate massive momentum to move forward and choose that which is asking to be chosen next in your life.
Learning to drop in and be with uncomfortableness is the first step. Some people however get stuck here and learn to be comfortable with uncomfortableness. This is NOT the point. Uncomfortableness should be uncomfortable and should always, always, always generate movement, action, and change. Nobody earns a medal of honor for bearing or being in suffering the longest.
This brings us to the second and most important step which is learning to move through uncomfortableness. This is essential to all transformation. No transformation will occur without it. To not be thrusted into action through feeling uncomfortableness, is well, just dumb. Its like holding your hand on a hot stove and not moving it because you want to see how long you can endure the pain. No, you must take immediate action and move your hand off the damn stove instantly, less you want to live without a hand! This is what feeling uncomfortable is supposed to generate. Immediate, effective, life saving action.
So hopefully you can extrapolate here but in case its not obvious, when you choose to numb your pain or get rid of your uncomfortable sensation (called symptoms), through medication, surgery, shopping, facebooking or yes even positive thinking, you learn in a way to be comfortable with uncomfortableness, because you suppress that which you don’t want to feel. In that suppression you lose your energy to create any change because you are comfortable and people don’t create change when they’re comfortable. In fact most likely you will just continue your life in the same way you were before the discomfort arose until the next thing starts to break down in your body or life.
My advice would be to feel your feelings, even the negative ones you don’t like or want and let them move you to the next place in life, which is their whole entire purpose in the first place.
Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Tomato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado