PAIN OF NOT EMBRACING PERFECTION

PAIN OF NOT EMBRACING  PERFECTION

Disagreeing with the universe

In the spiritual growth community we are all so busy working on ourselves.  Attempting to do it right by clearing our trauma, healing our wounds and purifying ourselves to ever more refined versions of ourselves.  While we are engaged in this journey towards our ultimate remembering and purest expression we often lose sight of the fact that we have never left the innate perfection that we are.  Though at times we seem to have disconnected or forgotten this, the truth remains that we could never not be what we are even if it has been temporarily placed out of our sight.  

To say or view from the perspective of imperfection creates all the suffering that we could ever imagine, and which we do imagine every single day.  Imperfection implies that the intelligence that organizes this universe, including your body, mind and every single little detail of creation, somewhere made a mistake.  This is the birthplace of the view of wrongness, error and separation.  For certain aspects of creation to be included and others not is an illusion that we perpetuate over and over again which lives inside the idea of imperfection.  

Imperfection is simply an idea, a view, a judgment, a perspective.  There is no actual truth to it.  It’s preference and bias.  What one person sees as perfection another sees as imperfect.  This occurs infinitely inside of this idea of imperfection.  See healing happens the moment that we remember that we are perfect and therefore so is everything else.  We may not like what shows up on the screen of life, but that doesn’t alter its perfection.  When we get this completely through and through the healing journey ceases because it’s no longer relevant.  What is true is remembered and evident is the nature of what is.  

This begs the question as to why we hold tight to the perspective of imperfection even when we “get” spiritually that we are perfect.  Why don’t we accept our total, complete and absolute perfection right now in this moment and every moment that will ever follow?  What exactly are we waiting for?  This is a really good question to ask yourself.  What stands in the way of you embracing every single aspect of yourself and this entire universe as innately perfect?  Do you still think some things are wrong?  If so what are those things, and what will it take shift your perspective of them?  Whatever it is that you don’t include will stay un-included until you directly and consciously include it.  How much longer do you want to wait?  How much more suffering do you want to endure?  When is it enough? Only you can determine and decide this for yourself.   

SELF & OTHER FORGIVENESS 

Courage and humility

If there is a tool that bridges this sometimes seemingly gaping gap between perfection and imperfection it is self and other forgiveness.  Forgiveness “corrects” the perspective, removes the hate, and ends the insistence on rightness and wrongness.  It softens the heart and drops the veil of separation that never was.  It ends the roles of victim and victor.  It doesn’t negate or say what happened did or didn’t happen, but it clears the slate.  No karmic charge, no battle to fight, no war to be won, nothing to prove or justify.  Inner & outer peace, harmony and resolution are the effects of forgiveness.  

Forgiveness requires courage.  Why?  Because to open our heart towards what feels hurtful often seems like the wrong direction to our minds.  Our minds want to protect us from all pain and that is why we build walls of separation inside of our experiences.  It takes bravery to move towards rather than away from these experiences.  To let down our walls and allow ourselves to feel instead of continuing to choose the path of self-protection.  This must be a very deliberate, conscious choosing on our part.  This will not just automatically happen because for most people the default mode is self-defense rather than self-love or other-love.  The seeming paradox is that love it the ultimate protector, and not the mind with its defenses which are wired to keep you separate from the rest of creation.  To love one’s self (or love other) is to bravely walk into the fire of our own mind and refuse to not allow light of our awareness to shine.  To see what we are trying to hold separate, and to feel how much more pain holding separate causes us rather then feeling the hurt that we are resisting.  To then choose to feel the pain so that the energy can move through our system and the charge can find its resolution.

Forgiveness requires humility.  Why?  Because we must end our insistence on rightness/wrongness in order to forgive.  To arrive at the place of “I don’t know better than that which organizes this entire universe” is incredibly humbling to the personality we identify ourselves as.  People avoid and deny this level of humility at all costs because they want to be right and feel justified in their rightness.  What happened happened.  What I am I am.  No right and no wrong.  End of story.  End of all stories.  The mind hates this.  Some people feel this is a permission slip for people to do or get away with “bad” things or to ignore changes that need to be made.  I am suggesting neither, but instead to see what is possible through the power of forgiveness.  To see what naturally and organically organizes itself into different configurations without force, effort, punishment, or shaming when the true essence of what is is seen, reflected, and given.  I dare you.  

The power of the heart is stronger, more real and more palpable then any limiting perspective, including that of imperfection.  Choosing forgiveness opens the door directly into the heart.  Heart leads, mind follows.  This is what most all hunger for even if they can’t fully articulate it in this way yet.  The only thing standing in the way is your insistence on the idea of imperfection.  That’s it.  Imperfection really is just a thought and not an actual thing.  I know this may be hard for your mind to believe, but its worth investigating and changing this belief for yourself.  Your joy and freedom from suffering awaits on the other side of it.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Dampening out love

Dampening down love 

Dumbing it down, numbing it out 

34249675 - metaphorical expression of squashed heart on a black backgroundMost of us are afraid of our own hearts.  True story.  We can use a myriad of excuses as to why we can’t love, feel love or be love, but what is boils down to is that we are afraid to love.  Afraid to use that thing that sits in the middle of our chest and is the core essence of what every person is striving, consciously or unconsciously, to feel more of.

So what are we really afraid of?  We fear rejection, being “too much”, not being received by others, or feeling too much.  We also create stories about what it means to love, which limit our expression of it, and thus of ourselves.  The level of love that we choose to express in most situations is correlated with how much of it we think the other can receive.  If it seems that the other can only take a certain amount in, then we dumb it down or numb it out.  Meaning we numb and dumb what we are feeling which then influences the actions we will or won’t take.

This simply choice dramatically impacts the level of passion, desire, and drive we have for life.  Our fear of rejection, need of acceptance, and inability to be vulnerably safe overpowers that of anything else.  We will squash our own selves to significant degrees just to make sure that others receive us.  Then we wonder why we “can’t feel” anything and seem to wander aimlessly claiming to not know our purpose in life. Its because we have compressed, shut down, or numbed out the very thing that is our compass and guide on this journey of life.  Our heart.

Love in expression 

Reconnecting with your inner compass

92561896 - heart with compass isolated on white backgroundLove is love.  It has no limits.  Its bound by nothing and is the essence of everything.  Regardless of how much you participate in the expression of love has no effect on love itself.  Love itself never changes, is always present and is abundance itself.  It is your truest nature and core essence.  However most of us do not know this, believe it or really get it.  Instead we believe that we are separate, isolated, distinct beings, and thus live disconnected from the source of what we are.  With this we think we can be cast out, not included and need to fit in and fend for ourselves.  We fall out of alignment and feel that things are not right or could go wrong at any moment.  The result of this is protection, defense and being “on guard”, which is also known at chronic stress or fight/flight.

Reconnecting with your inner compass, aka your heart, requires noticing when you are in reaction and defense in your body and in your day to day life interactions.  One of things that Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) assists you with is noticing where you are in defense and protection mode in your body.  Where you are holding resistance and tension patterns.  NSA does not magically eliminate these tension patterns, but instead illuminates them so that you are more aware of how you do you.  Without this illumination and awareness it is impossible for you to create different choices or hold yourself differently.  How you hold yourself in your body is a reflection of how you interact with life.  If you hold yourself in tension and protection then your participation in life and with others will reflect this as well.

Love in greater expression also takes risk and courage.  Courage to look or feel dumb, to not be received in the way you hope and desire, and to do it anyway.  There is not a single guarantee.  It is simply a matter of how you desire to show up and be with life.  This life really is a momentarily glimpse.  I invite you to stop dampening and numbing it out.  Be bold, take the risk and let love express through you in the myriad of ways you desire to express it.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Knowledge to wisdom

Knowledge to wisdom

Moving beyond concepts  

20745786 - illustration of a man who thinks about many thingsWe all know a million, billion things.  We know the right things to eat, the importance of exercise, the benefits of shifting our focus when in a rut, the value of presence and the ecstasy that love brings.  All of these things are pivotal aspects of our well-being.

The difficulty comes when we know these things yet don’t apply them in our lives.  We become seekers, seeking the next book, class, workshop, event, teacher, skill, relationship, or financial opportunity that will be the one that brings it all together.  Seeking is not bad or wrong, its actually great because it sparks inspiration and new perspectives, however the issue is when we keep what we’ve learned as a concept and use our seeking behavior as an escape to avoid the commitment needed to apply what we’ve learned to our life.

The only way that knowledge moves from being merely a mental concept is through using what you know.  Sometimes you may need to hear the same information a few different times in order to really begin to use it, but the issue is that people tend to get “disinterested” and instead of following through they move on to the next “magic bullet”.  These are the people that have an experience and say “I did “xyx” but it didn’t really help, everything (aka I’m) the same”.  They are expecting that the “thing” they did is what will change them, when instead it is they that will change themselves through their experience.

There are often underlying fears that may “distract” people.  Common ones are I’m not good enough, I can’t really change, I don’t know how, I’m not worthy, I’m not capable of getting it, Its too late, I’m too old, etc.  Fear, feeling anxious and worry are quite frankly stupid reasons to not apply what you know.  Politely acknowledge their existence and allow them to be there and also let them know who’s boss and who’s running the show, the show of your life.  A fear-led life is boring at best and unbearable at its worst.

Living wisdom

Commitment & courage

best choiceCommitment isn’t easy but it really isn’t that hard either.  You simply decide.  Decide what is important and what is not.  A good question to ask yourself is “what are you committed too?”  Do you know, or are you running on unconscious  scripts and actually have no clue?  You may think your committed to being love in your life, when actually your committed to everyone liking you.  You may think your committed to be in a loving relationship, when actually your committed to not rocking the boat and making sure the relationship is “secure” instead of loving.  You may think your committed to living your passionate career, but really you are committed to your safety and survival.  You may think your committed to healing, but instead are really looking for comfort and neutrality.  You may think your committed to a healthy life, when really your committed to avoiding feeling bad.

So check where you think you’re committed to your values, but where fear is actually running the show.  This can be subtle and takes some awareness to see.  One way to begin to notice it is that fear will always show up as avoidance, external safety (i.e. being approved by others, financial security), being “logical-reasonable”, focused on neutrality instead of new possibilities and concerned with what is lacking or could become lacking.

5614676 - beautiful female fighter with a sword in her hands.Living wisdom takes courage. You must ask yourself what is your core underlying intention and are you living it?  Are you meeting your standards for what you want and who you want to be?  If the answer is no then courage must come in.  Courage to choose differently even if its scary and you perceive potential loss; loss of security, relationship, or love.  Move forward despite your inner demons that keep you in fear rather than in your alignment.   In courage you will find yourself making choices differently, saying yes where you used to say no and no where you used to say yes.  This will force you to show up differently and you will begin to embody your knowing instead of just thinking about your knowing.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado