GIVE, GIVE, GIVE
Stop withholding love
The most sustainably reliable way of being that produces fulfillment and happiness is giving. Giving to others, giving to life, giving, giving, giving without any agenda or expectation of return. Yet most of our energy and attention goes to what we will get from life. We have been brainwashed into believing that getting is what brings us fulfillment, joy and happiness and that giving depletes our already scarce resources of time and energy. Getting the relationship, the job, the family, the business, the vacation, the house, the attention, the perfect body, the healthy body, and on and on provides only the delusion of happiness in attainment We even often only give in order to get, meaning we give ourselves to people or things in order get a result or something in return.
What does pure, without agenda or expectation giving, even look like? To make it really simple it means that you would have to not want or need anything from anything or anyone. This includes things like wanting love, attention, desire, recognition, acknowledgment, and praise, as well as survival needs such as financial or living support. I get that that can seem like a really tall order and many people aren’t ready for that level selflessness. However until you arrive at that level of purity you will suffer and attempt to get things from life and others that seem to have the promise of joy and happiness inside of them, but which instead postpone true fulfillment.
Any time you suffer it’s because you don’t get, see or experience what you want or because what you give isn’t received by others in the way that you want it to be, which again is not experiencing what you want and hence your agenda in giving. When we don’t freely give we withhold and distort love and it feels really, really bad. What this typically manifests as is us feeling bad, being in a bad mood, feeling frustration or stuck-ness, not having clarity, being confused, and feeling powerless or not seeing choice in the matter at hand. These feelings and experiences are life telling you that you are withholding love, which is also withholding yourself because love is what you are. When you try to hold onto something, get something, or keep something you think you want you will distort the love that you are. The result is impure motives, drives and lack of any true lasting fulfillment.
LOVING IS GIVING
Opening the heart
Loving is giving and giving is loving. They are the same. It is not hard to give. In fact giving is more natural than anything because it is your nature. You don’t have to have some special skill set or come up with some fancy thing to give to others or life. Your being is giving, and when you have purity and agenda-less-ness, giving is the natural result. For a moment think about the times when you thought about saying something nice to someone or doing a kind act that you felt naturally inclined to do, but then you didn’t do it. Maybe you weren’t sure how they would take it, or you didn’t want to seem like too much, or you doubted yourself and made your giving silly or stupid. In this example what happened is that you become more concerned with yourself than you did about giving. You made it about you, as you cared more how it was received and how you would be seen. This withholding seems innocent enough and yet its laden with self-centeredness.
Keep in mind is that giving is organic. Sometimes people will over-give in order to feel right, worthy, or validated. This too is a distortion of love as they seek for ok-ness, approval, value and worth. There will be energy expenditure and energy transfer that may create feelings of tiredness to your physical, emotional or mental bodies, but there should not be depletion of your being. If you are feeling depleted it is an indication that you are out of balance and need to reassess what really serves. Are you doing too much because you are focused or attached to an outcome and are therefore over-extending yourself? Are you doing too little, withholding, not giving to others and therefore not bringing energy into your system through giving and thus feeling depleted? You having a fuel tank of gas and taking care of your self-care is absolutely essential if you are going to be of service in giving to others. The intention remains though that taking care of you is to give to others, not an end in of itself.
In order to naturally give, to be giving in and of yourself, your heart must be open and available. Giving is a lot of work, draining and effortful if your heart is not online. Opening your heart is both the first and last step. When tension or resistance is suspended or resolved you radiate, emanate and overflow. The easiest and quickest path to resolution is forgiveness. For-give-ness. For in forgiveness you give again, you choose to open your heart, you choose to let go of what you think you want or need, how you were done wrong or did wrong, and all agenda for getting or being received in any particular way. Energy can now freely exchange in and out of your system. You hold onto nothing and hold back nothing. There is nothing to lose and only the gift of being and sharing remains.
The gift is the giving of your being just as you are. When your heart is open it includes all inside of it, all beings, all others. Care is inherent. As you increase your dial on what you can give to others all of your needs, wants and desires will be taken care of. That which is in alignment with you will be your experience. There is no lack when we give, but rather natural overflowing abundance of giving and being.
Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado