PAIN OF NOT EMBRACING PERFECTION

PAIN OF NOT EMBRACING  PERFECTION

Disagreeing with the universe

In the spiritual growth community we are all so busy working on ourselves.  Attempting to do it right by clearing our trauma, healing our wounds and purifying ourselves to ever more refined versions of ourselves.  While we are engaged in this journey towards our ultimate remembering and purest expression we often lose sight of the fact that we have never left the innate perfection that we are.  Though at times we seem to have disconnected or forgotten this, the truth remains that we could never not be what we are even if it has been temporarily placed out of our sight.  

To say or view from the perspective of imperfection creates all the suffering that we could ever imagine, and which we do imagine every single day.  Imperfection implies that the intelligence that organizes this universe, including your body, mind and every single little detail of creation, somewhere made a mistake.  This is the birthplace of the view of wrongness, error and separation.  For certain aspects of creation to be included and others not is an illusion that we perpetuate over and over again which lives inside the idea of imperfection.  

Imperfection is simply an idea, a view, a judgment, a perspective.  There is no actual truth to it.  It’s preference and bias.  What one person sees as perfection another sees as imperfect.  This occurs infinitely inside of this idea of imperfection.  See healing happens the moment that we remember that we are perfect and therefore so is everything else.  We may not like what shows up on the screen of life, but that doesn’t alter its perfection.  When we get this completely through and through the healing journey ceases because it’s no longer relevant.  What is true is remembered and evident is the nature of what is.  

This begs the question as to why we hold tight to the perspective of imperfection even when we “get” spiritually that we are perfect.  Why don’t we accept our total, complete and absolute perfection right now in this moment and every moment that will ever follow?  What exactly are we waiting for?  This is a really good question to ask yourself.  What stands in the way of you embracing every single aspect of yourself and this entire universe as innately perfect?  Do you still think some things are wrong?  If so what are those things, and what will it take shift your perspective of them?  Whatever it is that you don’t include will stay un-included until you directly and consciously include it.  How much longer do you want to wait?  How much more suffering do you want to endure?  When is it enough? Only you can determine and decide this for yourself.   

SELF & OTHER FORGIVENESS 

Courage and humility

If there is a tool that bridges this sometimes seemingly gaping gap between perfection and imperfection it is self and other forgiveness.  Forgiveness “corrects” the perspective, removes the hate, and ends the insistence on rightness and wrongness.  It softens the heart and drops the veil of separation that never was.  It ends the roles of victim and victor.  It doesn’t negate or say what happened did or didn’t happen, but it clears the slate.  No karmic charge, no battle to fight, no war to be won, nothing to prove or justify.  Inner & outer peace, harmony and resolution are the effects of forgiveness.  

Forgiveness requires courage.  Why?  Because to open our heart towards what feels hurtful often seems like the wrong direction to our minds.  Our minds want to protect us from all pain and that is why we build walls of separation inside of our experiences.  It takes bravery to move towards rather than away from these experiences.  To let down our walls and allow ourselves to feel instead of continuing to choose the path of self-protection.  This must be a very deliberate, conscious choosing on our part.  This will not just automatically happen because for most people the default mode is self-defense rather than self-love or other-love.  The seeming paradox is that love it the ultimate protector, and not the mind with its defenses which are wired to keep you separate from the rest of creation.  To love one’s self (or love other) is to bravely walk into the fire of our own mind and refuse to not allow light of our awareness to shine.  To see what we are trying to hold separate, and to feel how much more pain holding separate causes us rather then feeling the hurt that we are resisting.  To then choose to feel the pain so that the energy can move through our system and the charge can find its resolution.

Forgiveness requires humility.  Why?  Because we must end our insistence on rightness/wrongness in order to forgive.  To arrive at the place of “I don’t know better than that which organizes this entire universe” is incredibly humbling to the personality we identify ourselves as.  People avoid and deny this level of humility at all costs because they want to be right and feel justified in their rightness.  What happened happened.  What I am I am.  No right and no wrong.  End of story.  End of all stories.  The mind hates this.  Some people feel this is a permission slip for people to do or get away with “bad” things or to ignore changes that need to be made.  I am suggesting neither, but instead to see what is possible through the power of forgiveness.  To see what naturally and organically organizes itself into different configurations without force, effort, punishment, or shaming when the true essence of what is is seen, reflected, and given.  I dare you.  

The power of the heart is stronger, more real and more palpable then any limiting perspective, including that of imperfection.  Choosing forgiveness opens the door directly into the heart.  Heart leads, mind follows.  This is what most all hunger for even if they can’t fully articulate it in this way yet.  The only thing standing in the way is your insistence on the idea of imperfection.  That’s it.  Imperfection really is just a thought and not an actual thing.  I know this may be hard for your mind to believe, but its worth investigating and changing this belief for yourself.  Your joy and freedom from suffering awaits on the other side of it.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Never Leave Yourself Again

Never Leave Yourself Again 

Staying connected

Nothing feels better than being rested in yourself.  In fact I’d venture to say that this is what we all desire.  To be home inside of ourselves and never leave ourselves again.  Being in eternal unity with our purest self, absent of anything illusionary or false.  No pretending.  No fronts.  No, stretched beyond ourselves, doing.  No appeasing.  No perceiving lack of anything. Only energized, alive, rested presence.  Some might call this being in their heart, others might call it the ground of being, being centered, inner stability, lived unification with all that there is, or knowing one’s self.  Regardless of the words that you might use to describe it, the essence is the same for all because all expressions have the same essence.  

So many things pull us out of ourselves and into this made up world of stuff and appearances.  In fact as I’ve written many, many times before most of us don’t even realize that we are completely fused/identified with the appearances of what is rather than with the essence of ourselves.  Some people, probably many people, have never even touched their essence during this incarnation in their human body as the focus most are taught is on the outer world rather than the inner world.  There is a combination of intense desire, seeking and grace that allows us to begin to know the world beyond the illusion of forms and appearances that presents itself to our physical senses.

A key piece in never leaving yourself again is the recognition of when you do leave.  If you are not aware of your leaving, of your disconnection from yourself, then you have no choice in the matter.  You simply must remain disconnected until something or someone can mirror back to you that you are not at home inside of yourself.  The other option is to cultivate the skills and practice of self-awareness.  This is simply the practice of pausing, quieting down and paying attention to yourself.  Inquiring as to what and why you are doing, saying, thinking or feeling whatever it is that you are.  So often we aren’t noticing ourselves.  We are just behaving and responding to scripts that we’ve learned.  In this way we are on automatic pilot, but we can put ourselves back into manual mode at any time.  It simply takes our focused attention and will to do so.    

Staying 

Active participation while inwardly rested

How do we stay in when so much pulls us out?  How do we still interact with the world of appearances while being self-rested?  The first thing that absolutely must be “done” or committed to is that you must prioritize staying inside of yourself (staying in self-connection), over everything else.  I mean everything.  More important than any preference, distraction or any other desire that you may feel that you have for anything.  This is so radical for most people that they simply won’t do it.  Instead they will pick and choose what it is that they are willing to stay rested inside of themselves for and then wonder why they don’t have sustainable, eternal awakening, bliss or effortless being and flow.  It is because they are allowing other desires and preferences to be in the number one spot.  

So what are these other desires that take preference over staying rested in yourself?  They are things like the need to feel loved, be important, have value, feel safe and secure, have people like you, be recognized or seen, feel accomplished, be validated and the list goes on.  The external forms that these desires end up taking are different for everyone.  They might come though relationships, family, friends, careers, house, cars, position or status where we attempt to get these needs/desires met in the physical.  Yet all of this is like trying to enter our inner house through the sideways back door rather than coming right inside.  Any time we externalize a need, or project it onto the physical, thinking that somehow the attainment of it in the physical will give us that which we desire, we are gone, disconnected from our essence.  In every single one of these examples or scenarios we are perceiving some type of inner lack and attempting to get in met out there somewhere because here in our present experience we feel it missing.  

One of the best practices that I’ve discovered in entering my inner house directly rather than sideways or from the back is by setting my internal space to not want or need anything from anyone or anything.  This practice will allow you to see where you are attached to people, outcomes or things in order to get something or fill a void inside of yourself where you perceive lack.  It will help you see when you leave that rested place of self-connection and go out towards something in the land of appearances to get your preferences, desires or needs met.  It is really only once you let go of getting something (connection, love, validation, security, etc.) from “out there” that you can know what it is to actively participate while being inwardly connected and rested.  

Action and doing naturally emerges from this place of self-connection.  Rather than the mental navigation and planning you are in touch with the natural rhythms and impulses to move and do.  In this way you are honoring that which is present rather than trying to impose your personal will on it.  This is true love. Again what is ultimately required is to make self-connection, or the choice to stay, as your #1 priority.  The truth is that you can never actually leave yourself.  Its impossible.  You can however create the story and therefore lived experiential reality of disconnection.  Your cultivation of re-prioritizing all your desires into just one, will set you on your path to true freedom and unity, rested in the source of all as yourself.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Grace

Grace

Resting in the heart

Young and beautiful ballerinaGrace.  Grace is the state of being that is revealed when all tensions have come to an end.  It is the space of the heart which remains when we are no longer trying to find, fix or figure things out.  Grace is empty and yet simultaneously full of love.  Grace is flow and synchronistic.  It is awareness aware of the divine timing of all occurrences.  It is not pressured.  It does not force.  It is peaceful and vitality alive.

Grace occurs or is, not by you giving up because you feel powerless or as a last stitch effort to try to impose your preference from a helpless state of being.  Instead grace is known through the complete ownership of your power in such that the only thing left is full relinquishment of that power into something beyond it.  Grace goes beyond the mind, beyond the person.  There is still a person/form and yet the reference point for knowing yourself is not the person/form.  Your reference point is something much more encompassing of which your mind-body is but a mere vehicle for.  

Being in a state of grace is being rested in the heart.  The heart is what is beyond the mind.  The heart can know the mind, but the mind cannot know the heart.  The mind can only respond to the felt effects of the heart.  Before we are ready to fully relinquish ourselves we will continually try to think or figure out what the heart is.  This is called thinking the heart, but the heart cannot be thought, it can only be experienced when we are ready to deeply surrender any and all resistance in which we have to it.   

Why would we resist the heart?  It seems contrary to what most of us think that our intentions are and yet ironically we live mostly in a state of perpetual resistance or disconnection from the heart.  This is called living in our heads and being consumed by our thoughts.  The most common reason for this, which underlies all other arising, is that we don’t feel worthy of love and we fear that we will be less than or insignificant if we fully surrender to the heart.  Our logical minds will try and reason their way into or out of the heart which is of no benefit.  You cannot prove your heart to your mind, you can only allow your mind to feel your heart.   

Resolving all tensions

Preparing yourself for the complete consumption by love 

soar like an eagleWhat is it to be all consumed by love, to only know love and no longer be identified as a separate mind-body person?  What does it take for this to be your everyday, every moment reality?  It takes everything and nothing less than that.  It takes all of you.  It requires that every morsel of your beingness be on board, be intentional, be devotional and directional into this single focus above every other focus.  You must want to be consumed by love more than you want anything else.  The entire process, the entirety of this so called spiritual journey, is all about the discovery of where you are not wholly devoted to this single focus.  

To prepare yourself for this final relinquishment of personal power and agenda into grace paradoxically takes all of your will.  We often don’t realize that our will drives the ship into surrender and grace.  Will and grace seem like opposite sides of the coin, but without your will and the realization that you can use your will, (which is self-empowerment0 you don’t have a chance.

The truth is that overtime everyone will naturally come to realize the state of grace and love, but it could take you eons and lifetimes rather than just this one lifetime if you don’t come to know your power and utilize your will.  Why most people feel stuck or frustrated in terms of their personal growth is because they are not harnessing, utilizing and realizing the power of themselves.  The ultimate self-empowerment ends in self-realization and self-realization is simply knowing the truth of who you are as love rather than as what you’ve learned yourself to be.

Preparation requires that we move forward and into tension, pushing ourselves beyond our perceived barriers of what we think is or what we know.  With this generation of tension and simultaneous forward momentum the gap between where we are and where we want to be gets bridged.  The tension/energy builds and builds and builds and builds until the only choice left is relinquishment into something bigger and beyond what we’ve known.  We come to edge of our own perceived limited threshold, stretch past our known container of self, and we go beyond it.  When we go beyond, all tensions discharge and we fall into the unknown, and here discover grace.  We come to know what it is to be rested in love because some new container that was previously unknown to us arrives and we are suspended it.  With deeper immersion and realization of self we merge and become one with this state of grace.  This is the all consumption of love and realization of the truth of what we are.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Lover & Loved

Lover & Loved 

Lack and Abundance

Love Rose ConceptMost all of us have a hunger to be loved.  Some people seek for love through affection and relationships, and others through accomplishment, success and acknowledgment.  The largest wounding we have as humans is the feeling of being unlovable or like we are somehow not enough.  We are constantly trying to prove our enoughness to ourselves through external validation that can come either directly from another person, or indirectly through following all of the societal and cultural checkboxes and expectations for what it is to be a good and acceptable person.  

Your hunger to be loved might be hidden from your awareness.  Sometimes we are not fully aware of what is underneath all of the things we do or the ways we show up as we just assume it is just who we are.  However, upon deeper investigation we can often find that who we think we are and the things we think we want really come from a place of unlovability rather than true authentic desire.  So how do we discern if what motivates our desires is coming from lack (meaning trying to prove ourselves) or from abundance (a pure sharing, expressing and being of ourselves)?  It’s really quite easy, simply ask yourself if you are wanting something out of it.  Any time that we want something out of something that we are doing, rather than to purely give to what we are doing, we are coming from a place of lack.  Lack is always connected to not enoughness; not enoughness of self, not enoughness of resources, not enoughness of energy or opportunities.  No matter what the not enoughness is doesn’t really matter, it is all birthed from the same level of consciousness and is therefore the same.

You can equate lack to a state of unlovability, or a state of being that doesn’t know what it is.  When we don’t know what we are, meaning when we are not rested as love, then we will always feel some underlying hunger towards finding or getting it, because it seems to be missing.  This hunger towards finding or getting love is innate to us because in truth love is our natural state of being.  When we lose touch with love/ourselves (or perhaps have never known it) it is only natural that we will seek for it.  That seeking is often sought at first as something outside of us (relationships or accomplishments) and with greater experience, discovery (and disappointment), alas we being to look for that very love inside of us.   

Lover & Loved Become One 

The One who Loves the Loved 

17540280 - atomic love concept illustration design over a white backgroundWhen our outward search becomes less and less fulfilling and we realize the temporariness or inconsistency of love from “out there” which is dependent on people or circumstances doesn’t equal being rested as Love within ourselves, a new path must be sought.  While receiving love and allowing ourselves to feel the love that we are which comes through the  mirroring of things or other people is an important step, it is not the final destination. It’s not the final destination because when those people or things go away then our source of love/lovability goes away as well.  We find ourselves back at square one not knowing what we are again as our source/reflection of love has gone away.  We see this when relationships end or life circumstances change that disrupt our sense of self dramatically.  We feel a sense of deep loss of self, aimless and not knowing who we are anymore because who we thought we were was entirely wrapped up in those external situations and relationships.  

The only way to sustainably know yourself, to be centered and always connected to yourself is not only through being loved and feeling loved; you must also realize yourself as the Lover.  Not just lover to others, but lover to your own loved self.  The source from which love is created and flows.  The one who loves the loved.  Lover and loved are one.  They are complementary pairs, which are always united, one does not exist without the other.  To find that ultimate unity which we all crave, which is underneath all of our desires, which is the blueprint impulse of all of creation, can only be found in this pair of lover and loved, and reconnection with ourselves as both in one.  

Disconnection from ourselves as Lover is why we feel so powerless, lost, and don’t know who we are.  We keep thinking that Lover is found in people, things or in some aspect of creation, but it is not.  Instead it is the source of all of creation.  Looking outward to creation for the source of creation will never result in the creator being found.  It must be found inside of you.  Loved does not exist without Lover.  We have been confused in knowing ourselves only as loved, only as expressions of creation and not as the source of it.  You are the generator, the knower, the creator, the lover, not merely the expressions of such.  When you see this truth and finally recognize yourself you will never again feel like you are unlovable because you will know that you are the lover, the generator of the loved, and thus so love is implied, inherent, and literally cannot be.

The Lover is not another object, thing or person.  It is you.  Its not the stuff or ideas that you call and identify as you, but the you that is the real you.  We have been in the dark as to our true nature as lover.  We have not been able to see how we can love this expression of love that we call ourselves due to this darkness.  We are not victim to the darkness.  We must simply turn our seeking direction around and stop looking out into creation for what which we seek.  Instead we must become silent and turn our seeking inside, towards us, a direction we may have never looked before, and simply ask that the truth of ourselves be revealed to us.  We must put on our big boy and girl pants and become accountable, disciplined and devoted to knowing ourselves as the Lover.  Your full devotion to knowing yourself will reveal yourself to you.  Nothing else will.  Lover and loved reunite, become one, and never fall out of love again.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Healing through being

Healing through being 

What healing is & how it occurs

Old vintage oval mirror standing on wooden tableThe cultural belief is that one person must do something to another person often via some tool, technique or device, in order for the person to heal from what is seemingly ailing them.  Everything from our modern medical establishment to the plethora of healers with their healing modalities reinforces this belief.  There are ever so few people out there including healers, no matter how alternative they are in their thinking or methods, that really understand what healing is and how it occurs.  

Healing is 100% an inside job.  It is all about your perception and relationship to what is.  Tools, techniques, devices, healers, etc are all simply permission slips for the already whole state to be mirrored to you and accepted by you.  The reason why some methods or healers seem to be better or more effective than others is because the mode of presentation of the method or the person is more acceptable to you.  Meaning you feel some resonance with either the person/healer or the tool and therefore it is a better permission slip for you; you more easily accept that it will work for you and therefore it does.  This is why some things or healers appear to work for some people and not for others.  It is really never about the thing/healer, as the thing or person is inherently neutral.  Instead it is all about what lands for you and gives you a sense of an inner “yes”.  You must follow that inner yes as it will guide you to those things which will work best for you and which your being is most receptive too.  Until you are fully rested in the knowingness of your wholeness having mirrors and permission slips is vitally important.  

It is my experience and understanding that the true role of the healer is not to “do” anything.  Instead the role is simply that of a mirror that reflects the true, whole essence.  Call that reflection love if you will.  A healer simply reflects love so that when you are in the presence of such healer you see your true self, which is love.  Love is perfection, completion, and wholeness so therefore when you see yourself as this everything in your seeming external environment (including your body) becomes that.  Everything follows your perception.  When your perception sees love, knows love, then everything becomes love.   Seeing through the lens of love or wholeness is what healing is and how it occurs.   

Healing through being 

True health is a state of well-being

Attractive young woman in white meditating at lake.Due to the fact that we are largely focused on doing, rather than being, our focus is almost perpetually on what is being done rather than the state of presence or being itself.  If enough has been done, changed or accomplished than we feel successful.  We almost never gauge our success on how well we “be-ed” today.  This is also true when we look at our own healing.  We tend to focus on what has physically changed as a measure of success, meaning did the symptoms go away.  Symptoms going away actually has relatively little to do with healing.  A person can be symptom free and not be healthy.  A person can have multiple symptoms but be in a state of pure presence, love and grace (state of being rather than doing).   To be healthy is to be in a state of well-being.  The mere presence or absence of symptoms is a crappy indicator of a state of health despite what we have been brainwashed to believe.

When I am working with someone no matter what tool, form or technique that I am using, my focus is not on what is being done, but instead on the nature of existence or awareness.  It is a focus on beingness and the perfected acceptance of all that is, including you.  When that reflection of perfection is received by you the effects of that are frequently that something seems to have changed or been done.  This can be noticed by changes in your physical form, such as how a place in your body is opening or shifting, or some movement of energy, but a change in the physical is not a requirement for healing to occur.  You can still have symptoms, but be in a state of pure, perfected, bliss and oneness, where the presence or absence of symptoms doesn’t even touch you because you are so rested in perfected love.

It is when we develop resistance to what is that our state of being (aka health) declines.  Resistance is the state of being that equals ill health.  Just how many people are fighting or trying to change the appearance of what is, thinking that the harder they fight and the more seemingly unflawed the appearance (aka body), the more healed they will become?  I’d say just about pretty much everyone thinks this way.  We resist because our mind tells us that we don’t like what is, or that what is is bad or wrong, or that it means something negative, but what if through acceptance of what is (rather than the fight to fix or conquer it) we found all the healing that we are seeking for so badly.  What if it has never been about what is done to you, but instead your relationship to what is, which by the way is 100% in your control.  What if your healing has been within your power all along.  I’m here to tell you confidently that is has, its just that the path has seemed a bit cloudy.  I’m here to help clear the clouds so that that which already is can be seen and accepted by you.  

Acceptance doesn’t mean that things don’t still occur or aren’t seemingly still done.  Things occur.  Movement happens. Appearances, including your body and symptoms, change.  Your life can be undergoing major transitions and transformations.  Its simply that your well-being isn’t dependent on what is occurring anymore.  You’ve transcended the need to control circumstances, again including your body, and you now allow and move with whatever arises within your experience, all the while learning and growing and being rested in knowing that all is perfectly well.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Loving yourself

Loving yourself 

Unlocking the door to being alive

11613435 - abstract background with hearts.Loving yourself is the answer to every single question you’ve ever asked.  How do I get more energy, how do I have less pain, how do I feel more, how do I heal, how do I experience my soul, how do I know bliss, how do I know what to do, how do I trust, how do I make more money, how do I have the relationship that I want, how do I have more confidence, how do I serve…?   The list goes on.  Every single question that you have ever, ever, ever had comes back to this very easily understood yet less easily applied way of being and existing.  

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?  Why do we feel such unworthiness in our existence?  We fundamentally know that we “should” love ourselves and that loving ourselves is the key that unlocks the door to being alive and yet we don’t choose it.  We judge ourselves, blame ourselves, think we should be different than we are, worry that we are imperfect, that we’ve said or done the wrong thing or that we will, that we won’t be enough.  This can come out directly towards ourselves or we can direct/project this onto others or onto our situations and circumstances in life.  Either way the root is the same.  Something about us (or existence) is unlovable.  

Most of us have become masters at trying to get love and then pushing it away once we begin to taste it.  Personal relationships are a fertile ground for this type of behavior.  We so badly want love from another and yet simultaneously can’t receive it when its given.  This can also show up in wanting acknowledgement or reception by others of our work or something that we create.  We want the reflection of love through receiving attention yet when we get the slightest amount of that attention we feel uncomfortable, like we don’t want to be seen.  So this is the paradox of wanting to be seen and yet not wanting to be seen.  Wanting to be loved yet not feeling worthy of it.   

Return to Love 

Unloved to Loved

12635267 - hart graphic backgroundUnlovability is the root of all pain and suffering.  I believe it to be the primary root of most all sickness as well.  This is good news because if being unlovable is the root then the cure is evident and found in your return to love.  How do you return to love?  It begins with the seeing of how it is you have not been able to love yourself.  You must turn and look towards your unlovability.  Acknowledge just how hard it is to fully and unconditionally love yourself.  Looking at where you push love away in everyday situations.  Perhaps you can’t accept a compliment, maybe nothing you do is ever enough even if it was done well, maybe you don’t let yourself stop and rest because people “need you” so you must show up or you won’t have or accomplish enough, perhaps you can give love but feeling it directed towards you creates a feeling of shutdown or separation.  

Rather than keeping yourself in the dark be willing to look at how you push away and resist love.  It takes courage and yet you can do it.  The amount of light you can emit into this world is directly correlated with how much love you can receive and know yourself to be.  When you know yourself as love it is the end of figuring anything out.  There really are no more questions at this point, at least questions that come from lack and unknowing.  The only questions that seem to arise are those that are in direct connection with your already knowing state of self.  Its like asking a question but already knowing the answer simultaneously.  

When you know that you are love you can serve no matter what.  No insecurity or doubt in self arises about what you are capable of or what you should do.  You become a pure vessel and transmission of God/light and true giving arises.  You are no longer giving to others or creating out of lack of worth of self and trying to prove your worthiness to get validated or your safety needs met.  Instead you simple give because that is what you are.  There is no agenda.  It is not about self-sacrifice or being a martyr as those things come from the perception of lack, but instead about simply giving as the abundance that you know yourself to be.  Nothing is unsolvable and everything is seen as love.

Being rested as love is the most energizing and alive state of being.  The boundless freedom of you is experienced.  You no longer need anything from anyone or anything.  You know yourself, accept yourself and realize that you are love.  You can’t not see everything else as that for love is the fabric, the substratum and the essence of all of creation.  You included.  You are loved.  You are love. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Imperfectly lovable

Imperfectly lovable 

Striving for perfection 

43728320 - beautiful spa girl touching her face. perfect fresh skinPerfectionism is so pervasive in our culture that we are all affected by its influence in some way or another. Our ability to be perfect is also largely connected to how lovable or unlovable we feel that we are.  Most of us live with this unconscious story that we must be perfect in order to be loved.

You can see this story played out through your thoughts and behaviors.  Perhaps you are overly focused on your image, either physically or professionally, and can’t really let anyone see you undone or see your “faults”. Or maybe you are constantly striving to do more, achieve, be better and get it right, which on the surface can give the illusion of you being a personal growth master, but what you are really doing is avoiding feeling like an unlovable failure.   It can also show up as an over attunement to others, so that not much focus is on yourself, and in that way you can stay hidden or unseen.  You may also see it in trying to control a “messy” or less than perfectly planned outer circumstance, to look a certain way, so that you are not an inconvenience or disappointment to others.

These subtle patterns that most of us engage in daily can give us clues as to where we are still resisting or rejecting ourselves, believing we are less than worthy and where we are giving our power away.  Your ability to begin to see these patterns in yourself is key to your ability to be with and transform them, so that your lovability is not connected with your ability to achieve, not fail or be perfect, but is simply owned by you as your natural birthright.

Errors in perception 

Humaness & divinity coexist

90754124 - pair of imperfect organic heirloom strawberries isolated closeupWe are both human and god coexisting in this one form or expression.  This means we are both divinely perfect and massively imperfect.  There really is no separation, but from the limited human perspective there is quite a gap.  The mind cannot perceive how one can be both perfect and imperfect, as that seems like an impossible paradox.

Our ability to embrace this human, imperfect nature of ourselves resolves this paradox in our mind.  As we learn to accept more and more of our human, flawed nature, the more we see just how perfect it is and we are.  This must be experienced as the mind can not ever make sense of it.  The mind will always try to convince you that you are not right in some ways and that you must strive to be better to ensure that you are loved.

The practice then is to embrace the vulnerable, tender, wounded, hurt, failed and lost parts of ourselves.  These are often what we are always trying to either hide, get ride of, heal or transform.  If you have been trying to “heal or transform” a part of yourself for years and you are still not healed, essentially what you are saying is that you still have not embraced this part of yourself.  That is really all healing is; an embracing of what is.  From this embracing transformation and reorganization of yourself occurs naturally.  Not through massive effort and doing, but in effortless, clear, determined action.  If you are massively efforting in your transformation process you have more accepting and embracing of your imperfect parts to do first.

So this is how you become imperfectly lovable.  You rest into the messy, disorganized, uncontrollable, inconvenient, ugly parts of you.  You love them even though you don’t like the way that they feel, and even though you are afraid that if you really see them (thus allowing them to be seen) you won’t be loved.  This is your only opportunity for liberation.  For in them holds the key to what you really want, which is full, unconditional self-love.  The only love you are really ever looking for is love from yourself.  When you embrace you, no one and no thing can un-embrace you.  You have completed the circuit in and with yourself.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado