SAY BYE-BYE TO WORRY

SAY BYE-BYE👋 TO WORRY 

Your most intimate friend

Most of us are familiar with worry.  In fact worry might be your most intimate friend.  We tend to spend more time with worry than we do our partner, family members, kids or friends.  Worry is often so intimate that it’s present inside of all of the activities that we do.  It’s there when we shower, while we exercise, as we’re working, and while we are getting groceries or pumping gas.  Subtly, or not so subtly, in the background is the thought, “will things work out” or “will things be ok”?  It’s like we are deathly afraid of how all the details of life will orchestrate themselves and we can’t seem to let it be.  Our best attempt to not feel totally helpless or powerless is to worry.  Somehow we think if we worry about whatever it is we are worried about then we can control how it all happens.  However because we know we can’t really control it, we stay in a perpetual state of worry, which you could also call stress or overwhelm.

In order to let go of worry we also have to let go of whatever outcome we are attempting to control.  Whatever thing we want to happen or not happen, the timing of something, and the flow of the details in between, we have to let it all have its own will.  We must give away our hope, agenda, insistence, and demand for the thing to happen in any particular way, or at all.  This is where it feels tricky to us because we perceive potential loss or lack.  If things don’t happen how we desire in our minds for them to happen, at the bare minimum we perceive inconvenience, and beyond that, that something might be lost.  That loss could be of anything.  A new possibility coming to birth, a relationship, how someone views or sees us, money, time or other resources, objects of our desire, a job, a project, our health, other’s health, and on and on.  We will do whatever we can not to experience loss of what we desire because loss feels like death, failure and can lead us into hopelessness, depression or despair.  So rather than facing the potential of all of that, instead we choose worry, because worry feels easier to feel compared to feeling the death of our dreams and desires.

The thing about worry though is that it hijacks the shit out of us.  We fall out of presence and into thinking about all of the things.  We are not available for what actually matters to us, who it is that we want to be and our chosen state of being.  We lose touch with the magic of life and ourselves.  On a physiologically level our body gets to experience the chemical cascade of worry, which looks like the inability to digest our food, sleep well, or feel energized, and we experience pain and tension in the body.  Then we get fixated on trying to fix all of these bodily expressions without addressing the core essence which creates their arising, which is worry.  While moving towards feeling loss, lack, or death of our dreams feels like a less desirable choice, you must ask yourself if it’s really worth the cost to keep avoiding your sense of feeling lack of control over all of the happenings of your life.   

THE OTHER SIDE OF WORRY 

Mystery revealing itself

We tend not to think too much about what is on the other side of worry.  Mostly we either wait in anxious anticipation, or we take massive action because we can’t sit still, and then we hope for the best.  The “best” being whatever our chosen preference is for the desired outcome.  The funny thing about being human is that we have such a small perspective on things, and despite our tiny viewpoint we think we know what’s best to happen.  It is a form of self-deceit that is mostly unconscious, because the majority of us have good intentions for what we desire.  However those good intentions, and our ideas of what those intentions look like when they are manifested at the physical level, interferes with our seeing.  It distorts and filters our perceptions.  We then create judgments or assumptions about what we are seeing rather than simply seeing it.  Those judgments and assumptions always feel bad because they are coming from our tiny little vantage point that thinks it knows what it’s looking at, all the while it’s missing 99.99% of the picture.  

Big picture here is that we have no idea what, the details or the timing of how things are supposed to occur.  We have ideas of how we would like it to all happen, but our knowledge of the actual reality of it stops there.  If we don’t recognize the limitation of our vantage point, of our filters and the distorted picture we have based on our preferences, then we will fall or push our way into control.  We will feel anxious.  We will experience overwhelm.  We will complain about being stressed.  All as avoidance to feel how much control we don’t have over things.  

Not having control over things does not mean that you are without power.  In fact it means the opposite.  Surrender is the ultimate power.  This is what you discover on the other side of worry.  When you stop avoiding feeling potential loss, a sense of powerlessness, or inconvenience you arrive into a state of presence and openness for life to reveal itself to you.  Presence in the ever present moment of revelation, meaning you come to know what it’s like to be in the unfolding rather than trying to managing the unfolding.  When you are no longer trying to control something it frees things up to respond and move, and what I really mean by that is that it frees you up to respond and move.  You become less rigid and fixated and more able to be a part of the unfolding.  This is also where the power of intention shines.  You can still intend for whatever it is you desire to intend, but rather than forcing the flow of it, you are in the flow with it.  It’s not two opposing forces, but one force moving and responding to itself.  You are not separate from what you desire, you are one with it, but as soon as you place what you desire out there onto a happening, object, event or person, you relate to it as separate from you and you have to figure out how to control or manipulate it in order for your preference to be experienced or expressed.  

The other side of worry is acceptance and peace.  It is a relinquishment of thinking that you know and a becoming present to what actually wants to happen, rather than what you think you want to happen.  You let things breathe, which ironically also means you breathe.  You experience life force returning to its unimpeded flow.  The intelligence that is life organizes itself with you included.  It still doesn’t mean that you will get what you want or that your desired preference will occur in the timing you desire, or even at all.  It does however mean that you breathe, you are at peace and in acceptance, your body receives easeful chemical cascades that allow it to function well and you get to be in the dance of the unfolding of the mystery revealing itself.

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

BE THE FREQUENCY OF YOUR DESIRE

BE THE FREQUENCY OF YOUR DESIRE 

Next level manifestation

Manifestation is popular spiritual concept.  Everyone wants to know how to manifest what they desire and experience the life of their dreams.  There tends to be two extreme ways that people go about manifesting.  One way is to work to make happen.  This means doing whatever it takes, at whatever cost, to make the thing you desire happen and create your life how you dream it to be.  I call this the active way.  The other way is to open yourself to what you desire and let it happen through you.  I call this the passive way.  It involves intention, conviction, faith and surrender.  Neither way is right or wrong, and believe it or not, one way is not easier then the other way.  They are simply two different approaches to the same desired end goal.  

Just to be clear from the beginning, what most people desire is a state of being and not an actual thing or experience.  For example you may think that you really want a relationship, money, a home, a business or some particular experience, however what most people want is how they think that the thing will make them feel.  We want feeling rather than physical substance despite the fact that we really think that it’s the thing we want.  How many times have you gotten the “thing” you want only to be dis-enamored by it 2 weeks, 6 months or 5 years later.  Relationships can be a good example of this.  You might get really excited about a new partner, only to find that you don’t really like them a year or two into the relationship.  All the ways you had hoped you would feel in the relationship you no longer feel and now you find yourself trying to find a way out and seeking that ‘state of being’ you desire through new experiences or forms.

When you see that it’s the state of being that you desire it stops the cycle of chasing experiences or things.  Sometimes we have to go through many, many disappointments before we realize that what we want isn’t the thing.  Some people never learn this completely.  There is power and freedom to the end of the chase, the end of seeking and of looking outside of yourself for fulfillment, love or purpose.  If we spent as much time and energy on cultivating our desired state of being, as we do on trying to both actively and passively get what we want, we would rather quickly discover fulfillment.  We need only to dismantle the story that it’s the thing that we want.  Let our attachment to the form of our desires go.  Forms change and change and change.  Forms are simply modes and methods of experience and learning, and attaining them or having them is not what brings us lasting joy.  Rather our determined state of being is.   

TRUE FULFILLMENT 

It’s not about getting

In a way true fulfillment requires both active and passive manifestation.  When we relinquish our attachment to forms and experiences, and rather focus on our state of being as primary, we will discover that life moves through us.  This is the more passive way of manifestation.  Even though I call it passive, it requires surrender and letting go of control, which most of us really suck at.  Frequently when people say that they are going to allow what they want to happen through them, they either don’t have any real conviction or intention behind it, or they “secretly” are trying to control what is happening.  I say secretly because they are often quite obviously to their lack of trust and often mentally attempting to control outcomes. 

When we do align ourselves or become the frequency of our desire we will frequently find that activity wants to be done by us and through our vehicles (i.e. our body and mind).  This means that there may be lots of activity and doing of stuff.  Many times when people choose active manifestation they do it from a place of not first being in their alignment.  Their focus is more on the outcome of what they desire rather than on their state of being.  This leads to burnout and overtime resistance to doing.  Many people feel tired by the active way of manifestation.  They don’t want to work so hard.  They want to play more.  However what I find that people are really tired of is not all the doing and hard work, but rather they are tired of being out of alignment or not in their preferred state of being.  Work is play when we are aligned.

I wish that all of the spiritual programs that advertise things like “manifest the life of your dreams”, rather said “become the frequency of your desire”.  It would be a lot less confusing for people and end the frustration people feel when they are unsuccessful in their attempts to get the thing they want.  See nothing about this life journey is about getting, and while almost everyone is focused on getting one thing or another, it all leads to disappointment at some point whether you get it or not.  It all ends.  All forms at some point change form.  People, relationships, businesses, communities, projects, events and on and on.  This is not a negative unless you choose to look at it from that perspective, which most people do.  Rather it’s simply the way of expression of life.  Everything is constantly learning and changing it’s form and structure based on it’s learning.  This is intelligent design at work.  It’s evolution and growth.  There is nothing bad or wrong about it.  

So if life is not about getting, manifesting or creating everything you want, then you might wonder what it’s about.  It’s about what you are.  It’s about your alignment with the intention for your existence.  It’s about being your preferred state of being no matter what is happening in the appearance of life.  True creation and manifestation occurs by your vibration.  You create what you are, not what you do.  You give what you are, not what you do, even though doing is often involved.  Ultimately you get what you are as well, even when the focus is not on the getting.  When you give to life, rather than get from life you add energy to the field and your experience naturally becomes richer.  I am not suggesting martyrdom, though some may need to go that route first.  I am suggesting placing more attention, focus and awareness on your state of being as primary.  As your alignment in your preferred state strengthens you will discover giving is just an effect of your alignment.  

Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado