End of Avoidance

End of Avoidance 

Leaning into your discomforts

avoidance 2There is an overarching tendency to push away parts of our experience that are unpleasant or that we don’t like or prefer.  Many of us are not even aware that we are pushing away certain parts of our experience instead we just know that we don’t like what is and that we are in some way uncomfortable, whether physically or psychologically.  This tendency to avoid, push away or get rid of certain parts of our experience makes for a state of inner resistance also known as suffering.  Some of us suffer loudly while others do so silently, so silently that they hardly even notice it themselves.  

Most people have a belief that when all of their experiences are pleasant or their personal preferences are all actualized then they will experience peace and happiness.  The thing is that experiences constantly change and come and go.  In one moment all of your preferences may be actualized and in the next moment you may find yourself not preferring what is happening at all.  Due to the fact that nearly all people base their state of being on circumstances this means that you feel happy and peaceful when your life experiences line up with what you prefer and unhappy when they do not.  

Your experiences only determine your state of being in the ways that you allow them to, but in order for you to consciously choose your state of being you must first be in full acceptance of what is.  If you are pushing any aspect of your experience away you are not in the driver’s seat of your life.  Instead you are victim to that which you refuse to accept and your creative options for moving with or adapting to life are extremely limited.   

Remember what we refuse to accept is often subtle or completely unseen by us.  These blinds spots are often experienced as a sense of disconnection, lack of presence or energy,  or seeking out distractions without the seeming ability to refocus.  Other ways in which our blind spots are experienced are through rationalization or making logical that which is happening or attempting to turn our experiences into something pleasant or pleasurable.  One way of doing this is by pasting something on top of our experience while still not being in full acceptance of what is underneath.  When you are in full acceptance of your experience as it is there is no need to paste anything on top of it or make it different in any way.  This doesn’t mean that your experience won’t change, it may or may not, but your inner resistance will have ended and you therefore feel a sense of inner peace no matter what the circumstances are in that moment.   

Beginning of Peace 

Embracing of all

Newborn Baby Boy Floating on a Swim Ring

The fastest way to peace is radical acceptance of what is.  Peace does not mean all external things (including your own body) are pleasant, kind, and quiet.  It simply means that your mind is.  This is how you come to know the unshakable, undisturbed nature of your very own beingness.  There is also a distance of sorts that gets created between you and your experiences or circumstances.  You are no longer fused or merged with them and due to this your perception is expanded and you are able to see that which you were previously blind too.  It is only here that we can gain true clarity.

Another thing begins to happen at this point of un-fusing or un-merging with our experiences; we realize that our preferences are not so important.  This doesn’t mean that it isn’t still nice when our preferences are what we are experiencing, but we also realize that they don’t have to be, and either way whatever shows up we are happy and peaceful.  

When we sink into discomfort the rewards are so great.  We liberate ourselves.  We become autonomous.  We come to know our true self.  There really is no reward greater.  The nature of love is all embracing and all including.  When we resist or push something out of love’s all embracing nature we suffer because we are going against the fundamental truth of our nature as we are love.  I know it seems hard at times to accept those things (experiences, sensations, feelings, etc.) which we don’t prefer or that we even judge as wrong, bad or should be different than they are, but the larger truth is that everything should be exactly as it is.  When you fully get this you embody your power and you embody love.  

What is also realized at this point is that your truest preference is not to have all the external situations or circumstances turn out or be a certain way, including the sensations and experience of your body, what your true preference is, is to know yourself and be yourself.  In knowing yourself and being yourself you express love perfectly and can’t help see the perfection of the divine folding and unfolding all around through your circumstances and experiences.

Know that at times we forget this.  Also know that all experiences are intentioned to bring us back into this remembering.  If you find yourself in resistance, not wanting to feel the discomfort of something or a lack of your preference being experienced, remind yourself that you can use this very experience to remember your true nature as love.  Know that just as easily as you can resist an experience you are having you can equally accept it.  There is no special skill you need to learn in order to accept, you just simply do it.  You stop insisting on wrongness, badness and your personal preference for something else, and you drop into what is here now.  In that moment connection is re-established.  You find and feel home inside of you again and just like that you begin to have a different relationship with all of your experiences that show up thereafter.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

True Stability

True Stability 

Finding the ground of your being

Star explosion with particles and raysIn some way we are all seeking for stability.  A sense of groundedness, hereness and ok-ness.  The search for these things is often sought in external circumstances or situations.  Once we have the job, the money, the house, the relationships, the health, the sense of personal value and contribution, then we think we will feel secure.  But what happens when all of that crumbles?  Who and what are we then?  What stability exists when there are no external structures in place to make us feel safe?  It is truly only when all forms destabilize that the real opportunity to know ourselves arrives.

The root of stability is never found in the forms, it is instead found in your pure essential nature, devoid of all appearances.  What this means is that not until all forms dissolve and all constructs fall away in your awareness can you see the essence of what remains, which is pure being, which is the real you.  The only true stability is here.  It is the pure awareness that never changes, never comes and goes, is always here, always present.  There are no illusions of stability here.  There is only the knowingness of the ground of being or the ground of your self.  This is the pure state of stability itself.  

The path to stability is not by striving, proving and achieving, but instead is through self-acceptance.  Forces of instability which seem to throw you out of your center of stability only throw you out of your delusion of center.  They show you where you are still giving your power away and looking “out there” to feel ok.  Ultimately you cannot leave yourself,  you can only be shown where you still believe that you can leave yourself.  

To fully accept yourself and discover the path to true stability is not as easy as it sounds.  It means that you must face and feel all the places that bring up a sense of instability for you.  Feeling instability equates to feeling those things we fear.  Primarily what we fear boils down to the perception of loss of love, belonging or some other form of death (i.e. something going away).  It is through avoiding the feeling of the loss, separation, and alienation that we perpetuate the loss, separation and alienation and thus the experience of fear.  The magic, the miracle, comes through us allowing the feeling of loss, as through that we make contact with ourselves again and with that sense of stability which never truly left.   

Forces of Instability 

Fuel to know yourself

18291054 - blue ocean waveDue to the fact that we have been largely misinformed or have not realized our true essential nature we have come to adopt less than complete ideas about ourselves.  These ideas are distortions of the truth, not the pure truth itself.  Most people are living with a fragmented perspective of what/who they are without the full realization that they are living in this way.  It is frequently not until something disruptive comes into our lives and shakes us up a bit that we realize that there is possibly something more than what we’ve known.   

If we are too comfortable in our illusions of stability then we don’t have the opportunity to grow and realize more of ourselves and unearth the distortions of truth that we have come to believe about ourselves.  Instead we will just simply live the status quo hoping that not too much changes and fighting tooth and nail if it does because we don’t want our delusion of stability to end.  However I promise you that you don’t let the shake up occur you will never taste true stability or know yourself because you will be too locked into your stories of what you need to be safe.  

Transformation is always about instability.  People often say that they want to transform as if its some popular spiritual thing to do, but people almost never say they want to completely deconstruct all their false structures of safety and support and then actually do it.  People don’t do it because they get caught in the fear of loss of something and rather than move into it, they move away from it. 

Instability is necessary, but it is only necessary because we don’t know the truth of ourselves yet.  When instability arises see it as the opportunity that it is.  The opportunity to taste, know and eventually rest into a true stability that remains despite all of the coming or going of forms.  Do your best not to judge the shake up as wrong or bad, as if you do you will suffer or project your suffering onto others, rather than transform.  Recognize that instability tends to come in waves.  Some waves are more potent than other waves.  See the waves as gifts that you can ride into the truth of you.  

Transformation is simply as process to know ourselves as the true stability that we are.  A stability that is made of love.  A love that is complete, inclusive and which from all coming and goings arise.  Full self-acceptance is your free ticket into knowing this stability.  An acceptance that ends all fear and which absolutely no wave can shake.  Allow the instability, move into the instability, accept the fear that arises as you move deeper into the wave and you will alas be reunited with the entire ocean.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal  Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Destruction

Destruction

Tides of transformation

Hot fires flames in round shapeMost of us fear destruction.  Yet destruction is an inevitable aspect of growth. Things can not stay the same and simultaneously look or be different.  When we allow our fear of deconstruction (i.e. what we think we will lose) to reign we feel stuck, frustrated and powerless. These feelings are simply the postponement of change that must occur.  The only thing that shifts frustration is forward movement. The tendency for most is instead to move backwards into the same habituated thinking patterns because they are known rather than to push forward into the unknown.  Growth does not occur in the known.

What it boils down to is that people want to feel different or have their life be different yet expect that they can remain the same.  They project that they want the situation or circumstance to change, but deny their participation in that change. They fail to see that in every moment life (including their body) responds to them, not to some mysterious, outside, unknown force.  They avoid and deny their power rather than own their power.  The building up of frustration and stuckness rather than the alleviation of it, is what provides the energy for forward momentum.  Due to the fact that we avoid feeling uncomfortable we don’t allow the build up of tension that is required to make change.  Instead we find the most accessible ways in which we can to alleviate it.  Frequently that involves dropping into a lower state of awareness or consciousness where we feel like things are continuing to happen to us, that we are powerless, and that someone or something must fix us rather than us recognizing ourselves in the equation.

If rather than running from our uncomfortable sensations and situations we learn to move towards them, not in a way to fix or get rid of them as if they are some separate object from us, but instead to make contact with ourselves through them, we will be able to harness the energy of stuckness to move forward.  This will begin to expand our perspective of our current situation or circumstance.  The moment that we move towards rather than away from, is the moment that we stretch ourselves beyond our known.  This stretching expands our view of what we can see and allows us to revisit that which previously felt separate to us with new eyes. It allows us to see our patterns and how we are creating the circumstances and situations we’re experiencing, including what’s happening within our body, so that we can make necessary changes that are required. It is at this point that the inevitable destruction that was always eminent is now so clearly in the forefront of our awareness.  It is now no longer a choice that we can grapple with, but instead a must that we must do. 

Destroyer 

Recognizing yourself in the equation

Female with Indian feather hat and colorful makeup.Ultimately destruction is about the dissolution or breakdown of aspects of our self that no longer serve our highest good and don’t allow for optimal function of our bodies and lives.  These parts of us, or more accurately these patterns which we have identified as who we are, are often mysterious to us in the early part of transformation. We can’t yet see that we are the ones creating the circumstances and situations because we are so fused as being the pattern or part.  However when transformation moves to mid phase we begin to gain insight into what is occurring and more importantly our participation with it.  At transformation’s end phase we clearly see how we have been in charge all along and that it’s never been about the situation or circumstance, ever. 

I invite you to see from the perspective that stuckness and frustration is a gift. It is a gift from you, to you, that is showing you that some aspect of your consciousness must be made more aware.  It is the way in which you are teaching yourself to wake up.  Rather than keeping the perspective that tension is a problem or that the circumstance is a problem, see it as an opportunity for growth. Accept that destruction and change is a part of growth.  As you move into the frustration and wake up to seeing your contribution to what is occurring, you will be required to change.  Recognize your own resistance to this.  Recognize your desire to maintain sameness or perceived safety and stability rather than instability and change.  Recognize that things will come and go as required whether you like it or not.  Know that some of those things you will want to hold onto for dear life and yet they remain incompatible with who it is you are waking up to be.  To continue to hold onto those things and attempt to control external circumstances will keep you in a state of suffering and stuckness and suffering and stuckness and suffering and stuckness until the point where you have finally had enough. 

Some of us will tolerate suffering and stuckness for such a long time because we are so afraid of change, growth and what we think we will lose along the way, but change and growth is the nature of this universe. To remain the same or in resistance/fear to change when change is eminent, is nothing short of a miserable life experience as the soul cannot express through you in the ways that it desires due to your persistent attempts to try to control it.  

Nothing remains the same.  Nothing.  You can hold onto absolutely nothing. The deeper that you can accept this the more easily you will allow the process of destruction and transformation to run its course in whatever ways are needed. This will accelerate your journey as a soul who’s sole function is to expand and express.  Ultimately you are the destroyer/changer.  Destruction and change do not happen to you, you are not a victim of them, instead you initiate them because you realize that you must.  This is the realization and actualization of your power. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Becoming

Becoming 

Making the shift into who you desire to be

VanityYou have all probably heard the phrase: think it, feel it, become it.  Its often used to reference a process of transformation in becoming something that what we desire to become.  We use our thoughts to think it, then our feeling bodies to feel the qualities we want to become, and through feeling it we become it.  When we want to become something anew there is often also a process of simultaneously undoing who we have previously thought ourselves to be as frequently who we desire to be now is in conflict with what we currently think we are.  

Most of us aren’t even really aware of who it is that we currently are and even beyond that. that who we are is a choice.  We don’t realize that we carry many underlying assumptions and hidden beliefs about ourselves that are based on our life experiences.  If fact most all of who we think we are has been based on our life experiences.  How frequently does it seem that our life experiences have just happened to us, particularly early on in our lives when a large portion of our identity is formed, but even continuing through into the present?  Therefore how much do we just assume that this is “just who I am” and not question it or think that we could ever be different?  This is one of the conundrum’s of having lived disempowered and not realizing that we have always been in the driver’s seat.  If we begin to see/accept that we have chosen every single one of our life experiences (this occurs through acceptance of what was/is) then we can begin to see how our identity has been chosen by us.  This is a breath of fresh air because that means we can also choose anew at any moment.

The assumptions we have about who we are also come with a lens of perception.  That lens of perception becomes the filter with which we then view ourselves through.  Meaning say that we have an assumption that we are weak, strong, cold, warm, unloving, loving, kind, unkind, likable or unlikeable, etc. then we experience ourselves as those qualities and we also view our world from that perception of ourselves.  This is quite literally how we “create our reality”.  Our reality is created by who it is that we think we are and that lens of perception than filters everything we see.  This is why if we want to change our reality (i.e. experience of life) we must actually just change ourselves, as reality follows our perception which comes from our sense of identity.  

Final Becoming 

Relinquishing our role identities 

Surreal portraitOne of the ways to bring more awareness to the self-discovery process of who it is you believe yourself to be is to take a look at your roles, and the responsibilities and activities that come along with them.  These are often indicators as to who it is we think that we are.  Perhaps you are a business man/woman, a scientist, doctor, community leader, a father/mother, daughter/son, wife/husband, an organizer or planner, an athlete, outdoorsy, indoorsy, a reader, an adventurist, etc.  Looking at your roles provides insight into who it is you identify yourself as being.

Again who it is you identify yourself as being is how you will experience yourself and the world.  Let’s say for example that you have the role of being a “wife” or an “athlete”.  Often when we take on a role, we identify as being that role.  You think that you are a wife or an athlete and therefore that role becomes part of your identity.  Every role always comes with some level of expectation of how we must show up within that role.  That expectation could be created by us or have been created by others.  Either way if we’ve agreed with ourselves that a particular expectation lives within a certain role, and if we don’t fulfill those expectations, then we take it as a personal deficit.  

The truth is that we are not our roles, nor the responsibilities or activities that come along with them, but because we are merged as the role then when we don’t meet those role’s responsibilities or perform the activities associated with the role we feel bad about ourselves.  The self that we feel bad about is not our true self.  The self we feel bad about is only the one with which we’ve come to identify ourselves as through becoming the role.  To relinquish being merged with our role’s identities doesn’t mean that we can’t/don’t still participate in the responsibilities and activities that come along these roles.  It simply means that we don’t identify ourselves as the role.  The falling away of being merged with any and all roles is what allows you to taste and know your true self, which is beyond any and all roles.  This is the final becoming.  

Simply put the process is this.  Fully accept yourself as you think you are right now.  Investigate your roles and decipher who it is that you’ve created yourself to be.  See how that has filtered your entire perception of life.  Recognize the power of think it, feel it, become it.  Who is it that you desire to be now?  Through full acceptance of who you’ve been there is no longer resistance or incongruence with who you are wanting to become.  Think and feel your current desire of who you want to be often.  Realize that the final becoming is the embrace of all the things you have thought that you are not.  This allows you to realize that you are all and ultimately that you are the chooser/becomer of whatever becomes and not the becoming itself.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal  Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Claiming what you want

Claiming what you want 

Finding the fuel for change

28365465 - fictional forest hunter girl with bow and arrowThere are a thousand million reasons why we don’t claim what we want.  We think we aren’t worth it, can’t have it, don’t deserve it, are incapable of it, don’t know how to claim it, aren’t qualified, and on and on.  In fact frequently we keep our desires hidden even from ourselves.  We don’t want anyone to see what we really want because we feel shame, inadequacy or unworthy of what we desire.  Often underneath it all we feel that what we desire might un-include us from our groups, friends, families or society.  If we really investigate our relationship with desire we might even find that we have a negative relationship to desire itself.  As if desire is something bad or sinful.

We aren’t really taught to focus on what we desire.  Instead we are taught to “do the right thing”.  Meaning to do what everyone else does and what has been culturally agreed upon and accepted.  Most people are living in this way and they don’t even fully realize that they are not living in alignment or connected with what they desire.  If fact they’ve deluded themselves to whatever degree they’ve been able to that they actually want what they’ve been told they want without ever investigating for themselves if its actually true.  So it gets really tricky to see the truth of ourselves and sometimes the only way that you can notice that you aren’t living connected to your desire, but rather to simply “do” this thing called life, is a subtle sense of low energy.  Other signs are not feeling an aliveness inside, not feeling your heart open, noticing a flatness or dullness or feeling unable to connect to yourself or others fully.  

Really what needs to happen is that you need to begin to see how the activities you are currently engaged in, people/groups you hang out with or ways in which you spend your day to day activities don’t resonate for you.  It may not be that all things, people or activities fall into that category, but if you begin to really honestly take a look you will find some that don’t resonate and yet you are continuing to engage with them. 

Committing to yourself 

Energizing effort

warriorIf you are really honest you should begin to feel a sense of frustration with engaging in those things which don’t resonate for you.  Often what happens is people get to this point of feeling frustration (or sense of feeling stuck) and perceiving the frustration as bad, so they look for ways to alleviate this tension that is building.  They might watch a movie, play a video game, eat some food, drink some wine, have sex, scroll Facebook, etc.  They now feel less tension, but they also have less energy for change.  Alleviating the build up of tension will always drop the energy that is available to you to move towards what it is you truly desire.  

With this drop in energy your consciousness also drops into a state of powerlessness or helplessness to be able to do anything about your own life.  You actually believe that you can’t do anything.  That its just hopeless and quite possibly will just always be this way.  Essentially that you can’t change, and you really feel that you changing is not up to you.  That its up to some external circumstances or forces, and that unless the circumstances (which include your body) somehow magically changes, you’re doomed.  This is disempowerment.  This is disconnection.  This is lack of awareness of your self.  And it fucking sucks.  

Moving from perceiving powerlessness to realizing that you are the one with the power is a tremendous shift in consciousness and energy.  When you are brutally honest with yourself and claim what you want the power arises, the energy arises, the determination arises.  You become unstoppable.  Its going to happen.  There is no longer any doubt or question about it.  Yes there is work, yes there is stuff to be done, but rather than it feeling like draining effort it becomes energizing effort.  Effort which produces what you desire, which is always fulfilling rather than depleting even if the physical body gets tired.  This is the difference between acting from your alignment/desires versus working from a place of nonalignment with self.  When you are out of alignment everything will feel like massively hard work even if its just cleaning out your refrigerator or taking a shower.  When you’re in alignment the focus is no longer on the activity, but on your desire and alignment.  The activity itself becomes a non-issue and your desire the only thing that matters.

Discover what you truly desire.  Bring it into focus multiple times a day.  Speak it out loud.  Share it will people even if you feel timid or unworthy of it.  This will bring it more and more into the field of your awareness and strengthen your commitment to you.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

True healing

True healing 

Learning how to un-control your experience

healing and transformationOften when we experience some type of dysfunction in our body our first response is panic or fear as we feel the threat of how things have been functioning being compromised.  We may feel the fear of loss of a certain way of living or being in this world, which is currently not acceptable to us.  Our ideas about ourselves and who we are get shaken up as this force of instability that we call disease, pain and dysfunction arises in our experiencing.  

In response to this potential loss of ourselves as we’ve known ourselves to be we often go into management mode in order to make sure that we can keep the sense of self that we’ve learned ourselves to be.  In this phase we look for the modalities, treatments and people that will fix us so that we can return to the life and who we knew ourselves to be before this situation arose.  Sadly many people stay in this phase of trying to control and manage their experience of themselves for the duration of their lives and never truly find acceptance for themselves as they are now.  Instead they stay stuck in an outdated version of themselves that has come and gone.  

Due to the fact that many people stay here trying to live as this past version of self, controlling and managing every aspect of their life, they don’t transform and come to know the new self that has emerged.  Their focus is in the rearview mirror so to speak and they keep looking backwards rather than seeing where they are at right now.  With this they will often feel sad, like they aren’t making progress, and like it takes so much effort to maintain everything.  They may frequently feel low energy, be resentful of all the compromises and the degree of vigilance that they have to have in order to maintain their previous sense of self which they are still holding onto as who they are.  They simultaneously continue to fear the unknown, fear who they would be if they accepted what and who is here now.  This is often too destabilizing for our sense of self and so we will fight tooth and nail to keep who and what we’ve known ourselves to be.   

Beyond controlling

Mastering healing & transformation

chain disconnectedWhat does is take to get beyond controlling your experience?  The first step is full acceptance of what is here now.  Zero transformation can occur if you don’t do this first fundamental step.  You will always feel like you are fighting something and “transformation or healing” will feel effortful because you are literally in a state of resistance to what is.  Acceptance is often the hardest because it will feel like defeat to your mind.  Like you are losing and something else is winning.  Again this is only because you have been holding onto a previous version of yourself that is no longer really here or relevant for you anymore.  You may still have attachment and desire for that previous version of yourself, not ready to let it go, even though its already gone.  It only stays “alive” through your mental clinging to it.

Once you accept what is, healing and transformation can now effortlessly occur.  This does not mean that there is lack of activity or doing, its simply that it becomes very clear to you exactly what you need to do, what methods will support you as you embrace this new version of yourself that is here now, and what changes you need to make in your life.  It becomes crystal clear because you are no longer in resistance/control mode.  There is no longer this aimless searching where you keep hoping that the next thing you try will fix you and you will feel like your previous self again.  The resentment and effort is gone and you are simply doing what you must do.  

What I’ve discovered through all my years of healing and transformative type of work is that when disease, pain and dysfunction arises it is always a source of destabilization to help us wake up to more of ourselves.  We live in these limited bubbles of knowing ourselves and when we come to edge of a bubble that we’ve been living in that bubble needs to somehow burst.  If we are really comfortable in our bubble it is harder for us to want to deliberately pop it and so life gives us situations (disease, pain, accidents, etc.) to make us a little less comfortable so that we will pop that limited bubble that we were previously living in.  In this way we go beyond, stretch into more of ourselves, and into a range of ourselves that we previously weren’t experiencing.  

This process is typically never comfortable.  I believe that is done purposely.  One of the gifts of having this human incarnation is that there is often a massive amount of discomfort that comes along with it.  This discomfort gives us the opportunity to accelerate our soul’s journey at exponential rates, but this requires that we walk towards the discomfort rather than palliate or try to get rid of it.  The more willing we are to let go of what is gone and accept the new, the more versions and flavors of ourselves we will get to experience and play with in this single lifetime.  Healing and transformation will be a game that we master.  We will become adepts of listening, moving with life, learning what we came here to learn and embodying the range of who and what we are.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

What are you committed to now?

What are you committed to now?

You are at where you are ready for

3D Rendering battery chargeAsking yourself “what are you committed to now” is the same thing as what you are ready for in your life.  Often times we say we are ready and that we want “xyz”, perhaps it is to feel differently, to stabilize in a more expanded state of being, be more energized or to have a different set of circumstances or conditions, yet we aren’t actually committed to or ready for it now.  We put the idea of what we think we want out there as a whimsical concept or a “hope and dream” that someday (fingers crossed) it will happen.  In doing so we keep our desires distant in time, to some future time unknown to us, simultaneously waiting for a magical and mysterious force to make it happen.  In doing so we give our power away while creating separation in what we think our actual reality can be now.  

What does it take to really be ready?  To be committed now and not at some future mysterious time?  It takes your knowingness that you can no matter what and your 100% desire and alignment with that which you say you want.  Not 95%, not 97%, even 99% alignment won’t cut it.  It must be 100% of you in alignment with that which you desire.  No wavering, no excuses, no justifications, no saying that you don’t know how or thinking that you can’t.  When you are ready there are no obstacles between what you are and what you desire.  In some ways its already happened and the physical manifestation catches up with where you already are.  

When we put things off, say we don’t know how, look for something outside of us to make it happen, we are outsourcing our power and choosing separation and suffering over freedom, liberation and truth.  That may sound extreme, and indeed it is extreme, yet we are doing it all of the time, calling it normal and then wondering why we are still suffering and why something magical hasn’t fixed us yet.  Something magical hasn’t fixed us yet because we have yet to claim that we are the magical being that “fixes us”. There is no other.  We are our own responsibility.   

Natural rhythms

Stages of Consciousness with Somato-Respiratory Integration  

39250156 - abstract circles art background. (swirl pattern)There are natural rhythms to everything.  In fact this is what the 12 stages of SRI are based on, the natural rhythms of consciousness that are experienced on the journey from suffering to awakening into truth. There are rhythms to suffer and feel powerless (stage 1), there are rhythms to project that other people and things know more than you (stage 2), rhythms to feel stuck and limited (stage 3), rhythms to reclaim your power (stage 4), rhythms to merge beyond your stories of limitation (stage 5), and rhythms to be ready, committed (stage 6) and to know yourself beyond what you’ve known yourself to be (stage 7).  No rhythm is better than another.  They are simply stages of development that we experience.  Some of them we visit or hang out in more frequently than others.  If there are stages or rhythms that aren’t resolved for you then they will keep resurfacing.  You must find acceptance within each rhythm if you are to integrate fully your development of the stages.

Its never about forcing yourself into a rhythm that you aren’t in and desire to be in, but more about fully being in and with whatever rhythm you are in.  The capacity to be able to do so means that you have to be able to identify the rhythms and know which one you are currently experiencing.  It is through identifying and being with where you are at that you can move through the stages with increasing grace and presence.  

The rhythm of being ready and committed is a higher stage of transformation. You know who you are, you know why you are here, and you simply must align with it.  So how do you get to a stage of readiness?  Its a combination of becoming aware, acknowledging and accepting your disconnection, being sick enough of suffering (this is where the energy comes from to transform), reclaiming your responsibility of your state of being, knowing you are worth it and that you are moving through and forward no matter what.  You simply decide and it is so.  There isn’t even really another choice at this point.  

In this particular rhythm it is never about the circumstance, situation, or other people, it is always about you.  It is about how you can better align with what is important to you, its about what you must do and how you must show up.  The power is not out there somewhere but instead here within you, as you, you hold the magic key.  Everything and anything is possible here.  You simply must be your commitment.  The world responds to you not the other way around.  You know your place as creator of and doing to rather being done to.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Levels of Identity

Levels of Identity 

Our reference points for who we are

3D Segmented Funnel ChartThere are different levels of identity.  Identity is a reference point for who/what we know ourselves to be.  Identity is important because depending on what we are identifying ourselves with or as will determine what we perceive and thus how we interact with everything in our world.  

So what are these different levels of identity?  I am going to describe 4 different “levels of identity” as I’ve come to know them. The 4 different levels are pre-rational, person, soul and God identity.  

Pre-rational identity

Pre-rational identity is that level of identity before we know ourselves as a self, or as an individual person.  This level of identity is pre-thought or pre-thinking ourselves into being.  There isn’t a sense of separateness between self and other selves because you don’t know yourself as a self yet.  In a sense you are your environment.  There isn’t the self awareness of having an experience.  You are experience and it’s simply happening.  This is seen in early stages of human life, especially noted in babies and very young toddlers before they know that a “me” exists.  Since you are experience and its simply happening there isn’t a “you” in the drivers seat, instead the environment is driving.  This is important especially if survival or emotional needs don’t get met by the environment that we are, because inherent in this is a sense of powerlessness to the environment.  When this occurs pathways can go undeveloped in our nervous system, particularly pathways that get fired when our nervous system experiences safety,  satiation, and rest.  Simultaneously other pathways get overdeveloped that relay information that environment is not safe, there is hunger, and to stay vigilant.  

When the pathways that know safety, satiation and rest are underdeveloped then the structure or framework that our system needs to integrate pre-rational identity gets halted and fragmentation or splitting of experience occurs.  We can call this distortion and it activates a cascade of protective mechanisms to try and keep us safe and alive.  Since there is a myriad of experiences that occur, some which fire safety pathways and some that fire pathways that say “not safe” what happens is that some fragmented parts stay at this pre-rational level of identity.  What this can show up as in our adult life is feeling victim or  powerless in certain aspects of our life.  You can also experience a general sense of not being able to relax or only being able to relax in certain environments or if certain conditions are met.  You may also experience that people or things aren’t safe or can’t be trusted, and that there may not be enough food or attention and love so you hoard or over consume.  There can also be a naivety about how things work and things can seem magical and mysterious.  This is also the place where life force (or body) intelligence and emotional intelligence reign.  What this means is that if we have aspects that have fragmented and are halted at this level of identity we can have challenges in physical health/healing and emotional resilience.  If this level of identity isn’t integrated there is also more reactivity and focus on survival, so we can see defensive and protective posturing and physiology that would be associated with fight, flight or freeze responses. 

Person identity

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At the level of person identity we have developed a sense of a separate self that is separate from others and from the environment.  This level of identity requires the faculties of mental intelligence which include the ability to think, discern,  see self as separate from other selves and be aware of feelings, sensations and as having a body without being identified as them.  There is a self that is aware that it has feelings and sensations which means you are not completely fused with them as them.  This begins to wake up choice, options, different possibilities and seeing the bigger picture, along with the awareness that you are in charge of and even the creator of your life.  

Usually around age 3 this person identity has showed up on the scene and it continues to develop into adolescence and early adulthood.  We can have experiences within this time that create fragmentation and distortion at this level of identity.  Some examples would be in not being seen as a unique person that we are, not having mirrored to us that we have skills and abilities, not being given options and being able to choose but instead being told what to do, and not having opportunity to express our unique nature.  These experiences don’t allow us to fire the pathways in our nervous system that are related to confidence, to feeling both failure and success and making it through, to feeling our power and our ability to choose, and to see how we impact our environment including our own body.  This stunts us in the development of our person identity as a separate self.  This can show up in us as adults by having difficulty with making choices, head being foggy, thoughts are unclear, difficulty knowing what you desire as a person or knowing your preferences, allowing people to walk all over you, or lacking confidence and drive.  In the nervous system this has less to do with protective posturing and fight/flight/freeze (though some of that may be present from on un-integrated pre-rational identity) and more to do with oscillating between disempowerment and feelings solidity and strength in self.  When person identity is not integrated the posturing tends to be more slumped or defeated, and as person identity get more integrated the posture becomes more upright and assertive.   

Soul identity

heart people vectorSoul identity is knowing yourself as in individuated being (like person identity), however there is awareness of your interconnectedness with all beings (and not just beings with physical, human form).  The separation of people and things is not like it is in person identity.  There are less solid barriers, defined edges and distinctions between people and objects.  Your experience is less “contained inside of  your own head” and is more fluid and interwoven with everything else.  Different from pre-rational identity you are not identified as the environment, but instead know your interconnectedness within it.  This allows you to experience a greater range of energy and you notice the presence of things and people more than their physical form or personality characteristics.  When your identity is at the soul level you are able to move your awareness around in your body and outside of your body and even into other bodies and objects, which is different than person identity where your awareness is primarily located in your head.  

This level of identity in connected with soul intelligence.  Soul intelligence is concerned with expanding and deepening in presence energy, love, wisdom, and interconnectedness.  Unity is at its core frequency.  The concerns that drive a person who is identified at soul level identity are how to be more awareness, knowingness of our truest nature and creating things to better serve the whole.  In general stabilizing in soul identity has been less accessible to humans.  We have had less mirrors available for mirroring this level of identity to us at our current planetary level of development, so the pathways are not as developed in our nervous systems, however this is changing.  The nervous system of someone who is identified at soul level identity expands to include what I call the “galactic” nervous system.  This is what allows you as an individuated being to be interconnected with everything else including what people may refer to as your “higher” self as well as other parallel versions of yourself and others.  Your thoughts are not just your thoughts, feelings are shared between people and things, information is more readily available to you but not through your normal pathways of mental intelligence or knowing, but instead through this soul intelligence or galactic highway.  The posturing is of the chest/heart being expanded and open, the head/neck come backwards instead of forward of the body and the physiology of the body is in greater communication and interconnectedness.  

God identity

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God identity goes beyond knowing yourself as anything individuated.  When you penetrate beyond the subtlest aspects of soul identity the only place left to identify with is One.  There is absolutely zero separation from anything in God identity.  You know  yourself as pure awareness, beyond all forms, beyond all energy, only aware of awareness in its most pure state.  There is no activity here, but instead primordial awakeness before anything is made manifest; simply being.  This is what most call our truest identity, yet some say there is still something even beyond this, something without beingness and without experience which is actually our truest identity.  

Since God identity is beyond form there is no posturing or physiology to note, but when someone is identified at this level while in form its like touching space.  There is a vast, open, pure and empty quality that expresses through their form.  There is no need for a nervous system to communicate with itself on an individuated level or a galactic level with others because you simply are everything.  All is instantaneous and happens at once.  Interconnectedness becomes one.  This is universal intelligence.  

Summary

Each level of identity is important, one is not better than the next.  From my current level of understanding these levels of identity are a developmental progression, each creating a foundation for the next.  You can be identified mostly in one level, say person identity, and you can simultaneously have tastes of these other identities.  But to truly stabilize at another level of identity you need multiple tastes of the next level and also full integration of the previous levels.  For example it would be very hard to stabilize in soul level identity if you have a lot of unresolved or unintegrated experiences at pre-rational or person level identity, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have tastes of it.  Typically when we have “peak” experiences, like say when we go to some type of transformational program, we get a taste of another level of identity that is possible.  If we’ve done enough integration work at previous levels than sometimes that’s all it takes to stabilize into a new identity.  However if we don’t stabilize at the next level of identity which we tasted than those parts of ourselves that still need to get integrated will rise up  into our awareness.  This is why sometime we actually go into chaos after a peak experience or a really high energy state.  The chaos is not bad or something to be fixed or gotten rid of but instead it is all of the stuff that we need to look at, address and be with so that we can really stabilize into the next level of our identity.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

You don’t have to fix your less resourced parts

You don’t have to fix your less resourced parts 

Phew

fixingTransformation sometimes comes with this idea that we have to fix these parts of ourselves that are not as resourced.  That somehow we have to change these actual parts of ourselves that are behaving or thinking in ways that are not what we ultimately desire.  This often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and like we have to go to battle with these parts and somehow win them over because they are preventing our growth.  

Less resourced parts are simply patterns that we have learned with which we engage with ourselves or the world.  We call them less resourced simply because they are limited in their perspective.  To be less resourced is simply to see from a smaller lens or view, or said another way to not fully see or know what one is.  

These parts don’t need to be fixed or changed, they simply need perspective.  In fact to try and change these parts will most likely just piss them off and get them to react and activate even more, or it will create another less resourced part to come to its aid and protect it.  

So if you can’t fix or change the part then what can you do?  The first thing that any part needs is acceptance.  Acceptance of what it is exactly as it is, even in its lack of resourcefulness.  This often means accepting the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things we are typically running away from or are constantly trying to change because we don’t like them.  Initially this often feels bad to us which is why most people don’t automatically drop into acceptance, however if acceptance does not occur first then no true transformation will ever follow because you will be trying to still somehow fix or change the part rather than truly transform.   

True transformation

Gaining perspective

So then what is true transformation if it isn’t changing or fixing the part?  True transformation is gaining perspective and through that finding a part or aspect of self that has more resourcefulness.  You can think of it in this way, we all have a range of resourcefulness (also known as awareness).  I think of it as a spectrum, and we all land somewhere along that spectrum.  Sometimes we go up and sometimes we go down, but we tend to have a base point where we hang out most of the time.  This base point where we hang out can stabilize higher or lower along the spectrum depending on what we perceive to be occurring in our life and also based on our choices.  

So what do I mean by “based on our choices”?  Its this.  When you gain perspective and find a part that can see more clearly or has more resourcefulness you now have choice.  Previous to this you only had the limited perspective of the less resourced parts view, so in essence there was no other choice.  The only choice was what that less resourced part knew.  This is often where you are at when you feel the experience of being stuck but not knowing what else you can do.  You are merged with this less resourced part and therefore there are no other choice options available yet.

However with acceptance of the part as it is a new perspective inherently arises and now you see that there is another way or something that is more true than what that limited, less resourced part was experiencing.  You are now less merged with the less resourced part and have access to more perspective, more options and more of you.  

17420701 - two doors to heaven and hell  choice conceptThis is the first real place where choice arises.  Now that you have this new awareness or perspective you get to choose to see through the lens of the less resourced part or through the lens of this new more resourced part.  The choice  becomes more and more yours.  You will forget the new perspective many times and revert back to the less resourced view, but the more and more you see that you are in that less resourced perspective, the more and more you can align with the new perspective.  This does take dedication, persistence, and repetition.  You must be vigilant to yourself, noticing as soon as you can when you have dropped into a less resourceful state and perspective.  In this way you are not fixing a part, but rather gaining greater perspective which includes that previous part, but where that less resourced part is not running the perspective show.  Instead this new option for being arises more and more and you deliberately choose it more and more.  This is how you up-level yourself and how you shift your base point higher and higher along the resourcefulness spectrum.  This is the path of include and transcend.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel,  Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Multiple Perspectives

Multiple perspectives 

What limits our view

multiple perspectivesOften times it can feel like something is simply the way it is, that it will always be that way and has limited capacity to be different.  We can have this particular perspective in relationship to how something in our body functions or doesn’t function, or in relation to interpersonal dynamics with a loved one, or how we feel towards our abilities to do something or perform a skill.  When we are in this one particular perspective there are often many thoughts and beliefs that back it up such as “I’ve seen this before so I know how it will turn out” or “I/it is impossible to be any different than it is” or “ I’m not that”.  

There are often lots of assumptions that we make based on what we have previously experienced or learned.  Assumptions that may or may not be completely true or at least the whole truth.  Assumptions are the primary thing that narrow or limit our perspectives on what can be.  In fact most of the time we aren’t aware of what we are assuming about ourselves or how things are or work.  This lack of awareness of what our assumptions are create a world of finite possibilities rather than infinite possibilities.  

Having a limited view based on assumptions is what produces the experience in our lives of powerlessness, limitation or unchangeability.   Outer things or inner things like our sense of self feel more solid, dense or unmovable.  This is the experience of being stuck in a perspective and typically we don’t even know that we are stuck in a perspective because we are unaware of our assumptions that are keeping this perspective in place.  In this way we make ourselves or our reality more solid, limited and “real” than it actually is.   

The process of unassuming

Suspending your own knowingness

We tend to think that we know what things are or how they work, but what if you allowed or entertained the idea that you don’t actually know.  What does it feel like to not know even what you think you know?  For some people this may be challenging because they don’t know how to “unknow” what they know.  This is however how we uncondition ourselves from what we’ve been taught and also how we can begin to see closer to the truth of what actually is.  

There are a couple of different ways that you can attempt to suspend what you think you know.  One is to make a list of all the assumptions you have about life, however this would be a ginormous list and would probably take you a really long time to do.  Another option is to look at where you feel limited.  Maybe its having a particular skill or capacity, or maybe it something in your body that isn’t functioning how you would like it to.  Investigate what you believe about it.  

Let’s say for example that you feel limited in your capacity to perceive subtle energy.  If you explore that further you may discover that you have a belief that says that anything you can’t directly see or feel with your physical hands isn’t real.  So underlying you are actually assuming that subtle energy isn’t real or maybe that other people that do perceive it have some special skill that you just don’t have.  Or lets say perhaps your shoulder (or neck, back, hip, etc.) has been hurting for years.  It has seemed that nothing you do changes it.  Based on your experience you assume that it will never change.  You begin to believe that it is impossible that it could actually be different.  It is your belief in the impossibility that it could ever be different which limits how that part of your body can function.  Life follows our assumptions.  This thing we call reality is directly impacted by our perspective of it.  This has been thoroughly proved by science time and time again.  

When we can identify our assumptions and stop assuming multiple new perspectives become available to us.  Things we thought were impossible become possible.  Things that we thought were solid we now see has moveable or spacious.  A new way to solve something arises.  Remember it is our perspective which impacts and creates reality not that other way around.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado