UN-CONDITION THE SPACE OF YOU

UN-CONDITION THE SPACE OF YOU

Birthplace of programs, patterns & conditions 

Often in spiritual circles we talk about deprograming or de-conditioning ourselves from the programs and conditions we’ve learned, which are either untrue or don’t serve us any longer.  Much of our personal work and development is focused on dismantling these patterns that create inauthentic ways of being, so that ultimately we can simply be ourselves just as we are with nothing added or subtracted.  In fact much, if not all of our suffering, stems from disconnection from ourselves (i.e. not knowing ourselves) and then attempting to be someone or something out of that sense of disconnected emptiness.  This creates the entire gamut of patterns, programs, strategies and conditions that come along with attempting to be someone or something other than what we nakedly and innately are.  

What are these programs, patterns and conditions really made up of?  All patterns are simply made up out of thought.  Those thoughts inform, direct and mold the forms and behaviors that you see and experience.  The root of thoughts are beliefs, the root of belief is perspective, and the root of perspective is simply perception or the ability to perceive.  So the fact that you can perceive (i.e. that you are aware) creates a perspective or lens from which beliefs, thoughts and forms are birthed or brought into creation.  Each level back is less conditioned or patterned.  Forms are the most conditioned or patterned, thoughts a little less so, beliefs even less so, perspectives less so than beliefs, and pure perception/awareness is the least conditioned.  This is why as people become more steeped in pure awareness (which is the most refined or primordial essence or substance if you want to call it that) the more transparent they become.  Transparent in actual form, less fixated in thought, and less biased and strongly held in their beliefs.  This is the space of what all of the work of de-conditioning or deprogramming brings us all directly into contact with and ultimately shifts our sense of identity.  

See when we are fixated on the body and the thoughts in our head we think ourselves to be a separate human being, that becomes our identity.  Be clear that separate human being is just a thought.  When we start to recognize the beliefs that create the thoughts and forms, we see ourselves as less and less separate as we begin to be able to change our thoughts and see the direct impact of that change on our physical world.  This makes us feel less separate from and more a part of or interconnected, so our identity is more like a web of beings rather than just a separate individual being.  When the beliefs become clearer and clearer and lighter and lighter we open into the recognition of perspective, which is like the lens through which light is focalized.  Here our identity is that of what I would call the soul or higher self.  We realized our selves beyond a linear timeline seeing our entire trajectory or journey forward, backward and now.  Until finally even the lens is transcended and all that remains is pure light or pure awareness, which is non-localized, spacious, all encompassing and all pervasive.  Here identify is just one, one beingness, which is what I call the God state.   

BEING UNCONDITIONAL SPACE

Giving the gift that you are

Now that we are clear on how conditions arrive in the first place we can easily see that as we track our way back to the source of it all we arrive in that unconditional, non-localized, all pervasive space of ourselves.  This is the purest state of being possible and it is your true self; it is what and who you are.  (Side note: There is a traversing beyond beingness itself which is to remove yourself completely from creation. It is quite advanced and another transition all together which I will not address in this article.)

When you know yourself as God, or as pure awareness, the space of you is unconditioned.  This means that anything and everything is possible as no conditions are set and no programmed responses have been decided or determined.  It also means that anything that interacts with this unconditional space has an opportunity to see, remember and know itself clearly.  For example say that there is a group of 5 sitting in a room and one of those in the group has recognition of the unconditional space that they are and they’re completely rested in that knowingness.  Through the restedness they have in themselves, in what they are, they naturally and effortlessly emit that and it becomes the container of the group or room.  What will then organically occur is that any beings that are present in that group who are more transparent in their form, thoughts, beliefs and perspective will naturally and effortlessly meet that awareness.  To whatever degree one is transparent in self will be the degree to which they can meet that awareness.  Of course that awareness does not stop at the container of the four walls and therefore has opportunity to be picked up by any and all open enough to become coherent with it.

When no conditions are set and no programmed responses have been decided or determined God just simply is and moves.  This is where we recognize that self-organizing principle of life that does itself by itself.  Our heart flies open and moves towards God, merging into that source of what it is through the recognition of itself.  If we are still fused with our thoughts including our worries, concerns, plans for our future and such, than we may try to define it, put it in a box, label it, force it somehow, or figure it out, but when we are beyond the box of our thoughts we simply allow it and recognize it as God and eventually as ourselves.  

To un-condition yourself, which is simply to remember yourself, is the biggest gift and really the only gift any of us have to give.  The giving being inherent and naturally occurring, you couldn’t stop it even if you tried.  Your thoughts, actions, behaviors, and movements are all seamlessly in God as God.  Nothing being out of flow or coherence.  Not acting as the person you, but from the knowingness of what is prior to it all.  

It all boils down to what you desire and where you place your focus.  Do you desire to play in the world of forms, manipulating and achieving, moving from here to there, feeling like you have purpose in a particular way and hoping to find peace and happiness once everything settles into place?  If so you will not have the penetrative power that you need to break through the layers of your own mind.  Do you desire to know yourself, know the truth and know God and is that your one and only sole desire that you seek at the expense of all else realizing there will never be an external settling into place or peace and happiness found in anything you do, achieve or accomplish?  If so you will have the fuel that you need to realize yourself and so it will be.  You then become the gift that you’ve been all along and your radiance touches all.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis and Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Loving yourself

Loving yourself 

Unlocking the door to being alive

11613435 - abstract background with hearts.Loving yourself is the answer to every single question you’ve ever asked.  How do I get more energy, how do I have less pain, how do I feel more, how do I heal, how do I experience my soul, how do I know bliss, how do I know what to do, how do I trust, how do I make more money, how do I have the relationship that I want, how do I have more confidence, how do I serve…?   The list goes on.  Every single question that you have ever, ever, ever had comes back to this very easily understood yet less easily applied way of being and existing.  

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?  Why do we feel such unworthiness in our existence?  We fundamentally know that we “should” love ourselves and that loving ourselves is the key that unlocks the door to being alive and yet we don’t choose it.  We judge ourselves, blame ourselves, think we should be different than we are, worry that we are imperfect, that we’ve said or done the wrong thing or that we will, that we won’t be enough.  This can come out directly towards ourselves or we can direct/project this onto others or onto our situations and circumstances in life.  Either way the root is the same.  Something about us (or existence) is unlovable.  

Most of us have become masters at trying to get love and then pushing it away once we begin to taste it.  Personal relationships are a fertile ground for this type of behavior.  We so badly want love from another and yet simultaneously can’t receive it when its given.  This can also show up in wanting acknowledgement or reception by others of our work or something that we create.  We want the reflection of love through receiving attention yet when we get the slightest amount of that attention we feel uncomfortable, like we don’t want to be seen.  So this is the paradox of wanting to be seen and yet not wanting to be seen.  Wanting to be loved yet not feeling worthy of it.   

Return to Love 

Unloved to Loved

12635267 - hart graphic backgroundUnlovability is the root of all pain and suffering.  I believe it to be the primary root of most all sickness as well.  This is good news because if being unlovable is the root then the cure is evident and found in your return to love.  How do you return to love?  It begins with the seeing of how it is you have not been able to love yourself.  You must turn and look towards your unlovability.  Acknowledge just how hard it is to fully and unconditionally love yourself.  Looking at where you push love away in everyday situations.  Perhaps you can’t accept a compliment, maybe nothing you do is ever enough even if it was done well, maybe you don’t let yourself stop and rest because people “need you” so you must show up or you won’t have or accomplish enough, perhaps you can give love but feeling it directed towards you creates a feeling of shutdown or separation.  

Rather than keeping yourself in the dark be willing to look at how you push away and resist love.  It takes courage and yet you can do it.  The amount of light you can emit into this world is directly correlated with how much love you can receive and know yourself to be.  When you know yourself as love it is the end of figuring anything out.  There really are no more questions at this point, at least questions that come from lack and unknowing.  The only questions that seem to arise are those that are in direct connection with your already knowing state of self.  Its like asking a question but already knowing the answer simultaneously.  

When you know that you are love you can serve no matter what.  No insecurity or doubt in self arises about what you are capable of or what you should do.  You become a pure vessel and transmission of God/light and true giving arises.  You are no longer giving to others or creating out of lack of worth of self and trying to prove your worthiness to get validated or your safety needs met.  Instead you simple give because that is what you are.  There is no agenda.  It is not about self-sacrifice or being a martyr as those things come from the perception of lack, but instead about simply giving as the abundance that you know yourself to be.  Nothing is unsolvable and everything is seen as love.

Being rested as love is the most energizing and alive state of being.  The boundless freedom of you is experienced.  You no longer need anything from anyone or anything.  You know yourself, accept yourself and realize that you are love.  You can’t not see everything else as that for love is the fabric, the substratum and the essence of all of creation.  You included.  You are loved.  You are love. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Need for approval

Need for approval 

Death of your uniqueness

White 3d human - green tickThe need to be approved of by others runs pervasive throughout our shared reality.  Being approved of relates to everything from fitting in with our families and friends, belonging to social groups, and feeling safe, significant and worthy.  Even those whom seem to pave their own path and not care what others think of them may have deeper or more subtle layers of being hijacked by their need for approval.  

The need to be approved of by others is birthed in relationship with “other”.  It may have been reflected to you when you were young that you “did something wrong” or that you need to act in such and such way in order to fit in.  You learned that approval from others is important if you want to fit in and “be loved”.  Somehow love, acceptance and self-worth got merged with approval.  This is what could be termed “conditional” love.  I will love you only if you act or are these certain ways.  This is manipulation, not love.

When the need to be approved of takes place at this young age we often lose connection to our uniqueness.  Call it your essence, direction, clarity, confidence, gifts, etc.  This is one of the reasons people often feel like they don’t know what their purpose is because to know it may mean that you become an outcast, no longer belong, aren’t safe and may not survive.  That is some pretty big stuff so no wonder we keep the mask up of “not knowing” or following our purpose.  It’s much physiologically safer to do so. 

One of the ways to see where you are still seeking approval over being your authentic self is noticing where you do things that you don’t really want to do in relationship with others because you feel like you “have to”.  Like its your duty or obligation to do so.  You will typically feel a heavy sensation in your body, tightness in the heart/chest, knots in your belly and it will feel like an impossibility to entertain the idea of not doing the “thing” as the repercussions would be too great.  Meaning it feels like there would be to much disruption, people would be too upset and so you justify “its just not worth it”.  With this you often build up resentment towards the  other(s) when really it is simply you that is not acting in alignment with yourself.  You often think you are doing the “right thing”, even being altruistic if you will, and that by you just sucking it  up it will make everyone else happy and feel good.  However you do so at the detriment of what feels good and right to you.  Over time you learn to trust yourself less and less, hate yourself more and more, and become increasingly disconnected from what’s truly important to you, even dismissing it entirely and convincing yourself that you don’t matter.  In these ways you have created more value on the need for approval from others than you have on your own self.  

self sacrificeThis breads massive amounts of lack of clarity and confidence in yourself.  Your value, worth and belonging is caught up in making sure that other people are happy with your actions.  Yuck.   Even just writing that sentence feels bad.  It feels bad because its so distorted and ultimately untrue, yet most of us are living this as reality which is deeply sad.  

The first thing to remember and know is that your worth is inherent.  Meaning whether or not others approve of an action you take or decline to take, or even a perspective or lens you view the world with, it means absolutely nothing about you, your worth, your value or significance.  Also remember that if you don’t want to do something that someone else wants you to do it does not make you a bad person, friend, spouse, lover, mother, daughter, brother, etc. It simply means you prefer something else even if that something else is seen as selfish or unloving by others.  This can be one of the hardest things to swallow because for most of us being viewed as selfish or unloving by others tends to make us feel bad about ourselves.  The thing is that you must commit to your own knowingness, listen to your own desires and when you do this it is never selfish or unloving, but indeed the opposite.  It is permissioning you to simply be your-self.  It is deeply caring for yourself and honoring that which you are here to do and express.

Lastly if you find yourself not taking a certain action that you do want to take or perhaps not creating something because you fear others opinion of you, realize this to is seeking approval from others.  You may feel small, like “you don’t know enough” or “who are you to do xyz”, and find yourself comparing yourself to another who seems to know more.  You fear how they might judge what you create or do so you do nothing because your fear of judgment or lack of approval is too great.  If you find yourself doing this explore what it’s like to simply free yourself from needing their approval of you and what you want to do or create.  In fact see if you can free yourself from needing anyone’s approval of you.  This includes approval from your parents, kids, teachers, friends, colleagues, mentors, etc.  You don’t need their approval.  When you get this you also start to get self-love and unconditional love.  You no longer insist that others do things in specific ways either and free them to follow their truest impulse of what feels good to them.  

Rather then making sure you are loved/approved by others you move towards making sure you are loving and approving of yourself.  That you are taking actions in alignment with yourself.  You realize more and more that you really don’t need love or approval from anyone because you are bubbling over in love and approval (acceptance) of yourself.  This is completely liberating.  Its beyond manipulation and conditions.  Its free.  This is the true nature of love and of you.  This is the alignment of you as love.  

Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado