Beyond managing

Beyond managing

Control mechanisms that stabilize and neutralize

pest controlIt is often considered a high achievement to manage or control conditions in our lives.  In fact this is what we have learned that success is and this is the basic premise of our entire medical system; conditions looking or being a specific way.  Whether those conditions live inside of our body or in our seemingly physical world, management brings seeming stability to chaos and can neutralize conditions that previously seemed completely out of control.  This is the place that most people strive to get to when things seem overwhelming or when we feel lost or confused.  It is an important step and can feel empowering, but it is not the final destination as it comes with many constraints and limitations that usually require us to not engage in certain behaviors, or on the flip side, that we have to do certain behaviors in order to manage our conditions (aka symptoms when looking through the lens of the body).

The truth is that sometimes we do need to stabilize, however if we stay at a particular level of stability for too long we flatten out and there is no growth, further healing, or maturation of our being.  What tends to occur though is that people get here to this place of neutrality or stability and they feel like they can rest for a few moments, and then a few moments becomes a few more moments, and they start to get comfortable with how good the rest feels and they are now fully in their comfort zone.  When we are in our comfort zone there is little hunger to create instability or novelty, which would bring more energy into our system, but would also create change which may threaten the safe (yet controlled and limited) nest that we have created.

You can recognize that you are managing or controlling your conditions in life if you are making choices based on how you think something you do or don’t do will affect you later on rather than on what feels right in that moment.  It can also show up as a rigidity in what you allow or don’t allow, or the inability to be resilient in your choices.  To be totally empowered means to have complete free agency.  To follow that impulse, feeling or knowing, without the underlying worry about all the potential negative side effects it may have later on for you, but instead following your truest alignment in that moment even if it doesn’t make sense to the logical mind.  

Living outside the boxes 

The walls of limitation falling away

think outside the box conceptual - Stock ImageManaging and controlling our conditions means that we are living in certain boxes and are often in unconscious agreements with how we believe the universe works for us.  If we maintain the boxes we are safe and agreements seem to be upheld, mostly, unless the universe (our soul, higher self, etc.) says its time to wake up to another level of ourselves.  When this occurs the first perspective that we typically have is “something is wrong” or we focus on what we are seemingly losing (balance, health, safety, love, comfort, support, current desires, etc.).  

The awareness that we have this perspective occur while we are having it is the first step in starting to see that we are living in a particular box and this is life’s way of telling us that the walls of this specific box need to come down for the next step in our evolutionary journey.  If you recognize this you can begin to halt your managing strategies from taking over in attempt to keep you the same or eliminate any instability or chaos in your body-life-reality.  

What’s there when we aren’t trying to manage or control it?  At first typically immense uncomfortableness, sometimes confusion or feeling directionless, or it can feel unstable and frustration can arise as we attempt to control again.  As you find this place more and more it begins to simply feel like emptiness or you may notice a sense of relief.  With increasing time and practice here you begin to find a sense of stability within the instability.  Then, simply put, you “experience what is”.  When you are with what simply is you become present, in the moment.  This is where the most aliveness resides and is the birth place of all possibilities.  

The birth place of all possibilities is where its at!  This goes beyond the conditioned things that we’ve learned about ourselves, who we think we are or how things work.  Its where free agency (aka liberation) lives, along with total freedom from conditions despite what shows up.  We are not impacted or influenced by the conditions, but instead see them as risings and fallings within our awareness.  We don’t identify the conditions as us, nor do the conditions determine what’s possible.  To go beyond managing is to open up into the world of infinite possibilities without being attached to what of those possibilities is made manifest into the physical-form reality.  Its moving towards what feels best and in the most alignment at each and every moment.  Its trusting the orchestration of it all without having to manage it or make it happen.  Boundless energy arises when you live here in this present unfolding moment.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado



Not needing or wanting anything to be other than it is

AspirationsWhat is it to really allow?  To drop all of your agendas, expectations, and desires for you or for life to be other than what it is and simultaneously move forward into change, growth and expansion?  Most of us have a drive towards change or evolution and can get conflicted as to how to not come from a place of forceful doing and lack in the process of moving forward and living our life.  It is a seeming paradox as these can appear to be opposing states, doing vs. being or being vs. doing.  Its seems that it has to be one or the other, however true allowing is mastering this being-doing dance.  

In general it is more common that most of us are coming from a place of pure doing, rather than being.  It is culturally accepted to do rather than to be, so we have been conditioned to be doers.  There is still a “bei-er” in doing, but most of us are only focused on the doing and are thus identified as/with the doing that takes place.  We tend not to focus on the fact that there is a being doing the doing and instead only on the thing that is done.  

In order to bring focus on the being we need to pause what we are doing and simply notice what is present when there is no doing.  This is what most meditation techniques are pointing towards, that of noticing beingness, which is also called is-ness, existence or awareness.  True allowing starts with the recognition that there is being or beingness.  You really can’t allow until you can recognize the beingness that is always present, seemingly behind the scenes, and bring it more into the forefront.  

The aim of meditation is to recognize this beingness as you.  For some this is the end of the game and they dissolve further and further into pure beingness and become increasingly formless.  However for most of us that have a human form at this time this is not the end game and instead just the beginning of stages of this being-doing dance that I call true allowing.   

Forces of acceptance 

The interwoven field of bliss-love

Power of couple loveIf the first step is recognizing being, then the second step is accepting exactly what is present without the hunger to change it in any way.  When these first two steps have occurred we empty out ourselves (aka our limited identities) and the ever present, interwoven throughout everything, field of bliss-love becomes known to us.  This field penetrates everything including our sensory-body experience.  The experience of it is like becoming bliss-love, only we are not becoming it, but instead realizing we are it and it is everything.  It is from this knowingness, from this direct experience, that we truly rest.  We have dropped personal agenda, expectations, needs, wants and desires, and have literally fallen into love.  

From this state of rest and of knowing self as god-creator identity, doing arises as allowing.  Doing is the recognition of this bliss-love field as everything you interact with and touch.  It is the allowing what is to be what it truly is simultaneously with the knowing that it can’t not be.  Through you touching an aspect of yourself with the recognition of itself it wakes up and realizes itself as what it is.  It reorganizes its configuration (aka identity) to match that of what it truly is.  This reorganization is the doing or allowing.  It occurs without effort or force, but instead awareness intelligently moves energy into a new configuration.  

Everything in creation is simply energy.  Energy responds and organizes itself in congruence with awareness (beingness).  Our beingness determines creation (doing).  The doing (reorganizing, creating) is simply the effect of awareness.  Things feel effortful and forceful when we are disconnected from ourselves as awareness and identified as the doing.  

In summary the steps are 1) Stop and recognize beingness, 2) Accept everything exactly as it is without the hunger to change it, 3) As a result of steps 1 and 2 empty out of personal self and be filled with the bliss that you are, 4) Recognize bliss-love in everything and watch/allow the doing to unfold throughout itself.  Allow life to reorganize itself and reality to change its form in response to your observation of it as its true nature.  When our true nature is recognized everything can’t not come into congruence with it.  It is in the this way you realize you are not separate from creation.  Creator and creation are one and the same.  There is no doing to some separate object, but instead only recognition of what is, what you are, and then watching/allowing how the manifest creation changes form in response.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Evolution of the nervous system

Evolution of the nervous system 

The nuts & bolts

19040114 - 3d rendered illustration of a human receptorDepending on how long you have been in care with me some of you may or may not remember the conversation we had on your first visit regarding the evolution of the nervous system and how it corresponds to the 3 levels of Network Care.  As a refresher this article will be a brief synopsis of the neural strategies that emerge as people go through each of the levels of care, describing how the nervous system is evolving, and what it all means for you.

Let’s start at the beginning.  This delicate thing that we call our nervous system begins its development 18 days after conception from one of the three germ layers called ectoderm.  Only the skin and nervous system are derived from this germ layer, therefore our skin and nervous system come from the same developmental origin.  This helps to make sense as to why our biggest sense organ is our skin and the direct impact that touch has on our nervous system.  Our skin is constantly receiving  information from the environment and relaying it through the nervous system.  

All of the structural building blocks of the nervous system are in place at 16 weeks in utero and last for the duration of our life.  Connectivity (or the firing of neural pathways) begins at 5 weeks in utero and continues strongly during the first 2 years of life outside the womb.  There then begins a pruning and selection process of particular pathways over other pathways as we become more identified with being our individual selves based on our experiences and environments.

Our nervous system is a receiver of sorts.  I think of it as having the function of tuning and picking up particular frequencies of self that are in the field, or what we normally think of as empty space, but which is really packed full of energy and information.  The tone/tension of our nervous system (including our spinal cord) will determine what frequencies we can tune  into and therefore what information is available to us.  For example if the tone of our nervous system is held in a particular tension pattern then we will only tune to those frequencies that correspond (or are in resonance) with the tension of our system.  When our nervous system changes its tone/tension pattern than it can find resonance with different frequencies (aka information & energy) that correspond to this different tone.  

In addition to the tone/tension of the nervous system another important factor is having receptors to pick up the information.  For example if a signal or frequency is in the field but we don’t have receptors to it in our nervous system to pick up the signal, then we won’t be able to receive it (aka be aware of it).  So the combination of tone/tension of nervous system and the receptors the system has to pick up the information, are vital components to the evolving nervous system and thus the evolving being.  

Emergence of neural strategies in Network Care

Levels of care

So you might be thinking what creates the tone/tension patterns that our nervous system holds?  The answer is that it is based on our experiences.  When we have experiences that are harsh or intense, and that we don’t have the resources inside of ourselves to process and integrate fully, our spinal cord will literally distort.  It will stretch, pull tight in certain places and often lock into a particular tension pattern and position.  We can see that patterning or positioning visually through our posture and it can also be felt when assessing the spinal subsystems (which is what I do when you come in for an entrainment).  In Network we call these spinal distortion patterns the “five phases”.  What that means is that in Network we have identified 5 particular ways that the spinal cord pulls up tension patterns in response to not being able to process an experience.  

One of the goals of Network is to help the system unwind these distortion-tension patterns so that the nervous system can receive and become resonant with different information & energy.  The way that Network does this is through the development of something called “spinal gateways”.  You can think of spinal gateways as the receptors that are needed for the nervous system to tune into different information.  

Level 1

16313855 - woman hand touching virtual screenIn level one of care these spinal gateways are small, flat, and located at the skin level between the bones in the neck and sacrum.  By lightly touching these areas we are bringing awareness to them and with awareness they begin to light up and become active.  As awareness begins to find a particular spinal gateway the strategy that will emerge will be a  respiratory wave.  We call this the emerging strategy of level one of care.  Its emergent in that you can’t make the system do it, you can instead only set up the conditions that allow it to occur.  Those conditions are a combination of presence with specific intention, knowingness of what is possible and an allowing for the organic natural rhythm to express.  The emergence of the respiratory wave is very important for the nervous system because it creates a sense of safety, stability and ease and also begins to unwind the tension patterns within the spinal cord.  This unwinding of spinal tension patterns provides energy  for your life force or bio-energetic intelligence, which is the intelligence or information that is connected with how your physical body functions. The goal of level one then is to increase your access to bioenergetic intelligence and unwind bound energy within your spine and connective tissues, which when liberated increases your life force energy.  This is the first step that is required in the evolution of your nervous system from more survival-reactive based into rest.   You will feel this as an effortless breath that arises after a light touch is made on the spinal gateway.  

Level 2

In level two of care we are working to develop these spinal gateways so that rather than small, flat areas located at the skin level between the bones of the neck and down at the sacrum, they become little vortices.  In the beginning of level two of care we start to physically and energetically stretch these spinal gateways.  This allows their surface area to increase and with increased surface area we have more area to receive information.  Increasing surface area allows for greater complexity, and greater complexity means evolution.  You can see this in the way that the brain has all of these intricate folds called gyri and sulci.  Those folds increase the surface area of the brain and are part of the evolution of our nervous system as well.  The stretching of the spinal gateway activates our emotional energy.  Often when our spinal cord distorts there is an emotion associated with that distortion or tone/tension pattern.  When we lift and stretch a spinal gateway we are also accessing the emotion(s) that is connected to that pattern that got locked into place and time.  The spinal gateway stretching is now giving us access to our emotional intelligence and through feeling we liberate bound energy from our emotional subsystem which has connections along our spinal cord and in the musculature along the spine.  The strategy that emerges is the stretch response of the spinal gateway.  We call this level 2A of care.  Our nervous system is now evolving to include strategies that allow us to find and feel our emotions, which allows them to move freely through the system rather than bind in particular locations.  

As level 2 progresses and we have the stretch response in at least 2 spinal gateways the next strategy that begins to emerge is a coordinated timing between 2 different spinal gateways.  The experience of this is having one gateway stretch, rock or move and then close in timing feeling another gateway stretch, rock or move.  The fancy term for this stretching, rocking or movement is called oscillation.  Two gateways begin to oscillate in a coordinated timing.  This is the emerging neural strategy of level 2B of care and with it we get access to lower mental intelligence.  Lower mental intelligence is information that is important for facts, rules, linear thinking, and also for discernment, identity as separate self, and knowing what works and doesn’t work for you.  As this strategy of 2 spinal gateways moving in a coordinated timing emerges and activates lower mental  intelligence it also liberates the bound energy stored in mental boxes and containers about who you think you are and aren’t and also deeper spinal cord tension patterns.  

Touching something unknownLevel 2 continues into what we call level 2C.  In level 2C we are still working with 2 spinal gateway regions like in 2B.   In addition to these 2 gateways moving in a coordinated timing they now also have a spatial movement component that can be experienced or felt as a figure 8 motion occurring between 2 gateways.  This emerging property of figure 8 movement occurs in 2C along with something called the somatopsychic wave.  The somatopsychic wave is an energetic wave that moves longitudinally along the spine.  As this wave moves along the spine it liberates any remaining defensive or bound energy, and with the spinal gateways developed, this liberated energy can be redirected into the spinal gateways.  With this the spinal gateways grow even larger, getting juiced up by all of this liberated energy.  As these gateways grow again they are increasing their surface area, becoming a larger vortex and their distance away from and deeper into the body increases to the level in the field of upper mental intelligence.  Upper mental intelligence contains information about seeing the bigger perspective and breaking it down into its parts, it allows for complex mental concepts and conscious choice rather than programmed responses.  As you energize this intelligence through the emerging neural strategies of level 2C you become increasingly aware and aligned to what serves and what doesn’t serve and are able to take appropriate, consistent actions in accordance with what is next and your preferences and choices.  As you are aligned in this way you are empowered in yourself and your ability to create impact and change.  

Level 3

Like level 2, level 3 also has 3 parts, an A, B and C.  In level 3 rather than the primary focus being on the development of the spinal gateways (though they continue to develop) the focus shifts onto the development of what we call the heart oscillator (or gateway).  Level 3A of care starts with the stretch of the heart oscillator.  Just like you learned to stretch a spinal gateway in level 2A of care, now you are learning to stretch the heart gateway both physically and energetically.  In the beginning it can feel more like a physical stretch, but as the strategy emerges more fully you get a more energized stretch response.  Again as we stretch we increase surface area and as we increase surface area we have more receptor space availability to receive information.  The information that is available in level 3 of care is soul intelligence.  Rather than the energy fueling the neural strategy coming from bound energy in the system, the energy that fuels this soul intelligence comes from us stretching open the heart and connecting with unbound energy.  As you connect with intelligent information at this level you begin to recognize the emptiness and formless aspects of reality.  

heart lightProgressing into level 3B of care there is an emerging strategy that develops between the heart oscillator and 2 spinal gateways.  Similar to level 2B where there were 2 spinal gateways moving together in a particular timing, in 3B the heart oscillator moves  in timing with 2 spinal gateways.  The 2 spinal gateways have the figure 8 motion that they learned in level 2C and they learn how to coordinate their rhythm with the heart now.  It is often felt as the heart/chest rising and then falling and then the 2 spinal gateways move in a figure 8 motion and then the heart/chest rises again.  They go back in forth, one moves and then drops out and then the other moves and drops out.  We are still working with soul intelligence and information in 3B, but deepening to the level of knowing your interconnectedness with all beings and expanding into increasingly subtler and more highly organized energy.  The spinal gateways are even larger vortices now extending further into the field at the soul level of intelligence.  

Similar to level 3B, level 3C continues to evolve this rhythmic coordination between the heart and 2 spinal gateways.  The emerging strategy of this level of care is to have engagement of the heart and 2 spinal gateways using free, unbound energy to fuel the strategy in sustained coordination.  You also begin to feel oscillatory movements in your hip and shoulder areas.  The somatopsychic wave that develops in 2C moves increasingly more forward in your body throughout level 3 of care.  In 2C the somatopsychic wave goes directly through the spine, in 3A it moves to the area between the spine and heart, in 3B it goes right through the heart and in level 3C it moves in front of the heart suspending any remaining defense between your individual heart and the universal heart.  The experience at level 3C of care is of fully knowing one’s truest self as one being while simultaneously sharing your soul’s unique expression at this human level.  


In summary this is the progression of how the nervous system evolves through Network Care.  It is through this evolution that we are able to regulate the tone/tension in our nervous system and simultaneously increase our ability to receive information through the creation of spinal gateways and the emerging neural strategies that come with their growth and development.  Through unwinding the bound energy in our spinal-neural system and stretching open our heart to connect with unbound energy we are able to fuel these various intelligences (bioenergetic, emotional, lower mental, upper mental and soul) that contain all of the information vital to living our fullest expression in this human form.  This is evolution of the system and therefore of our beingness in form. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Levels of Identity

Levels of Identity 

Our reference points for who we are

3D Segmented Funnel ChartThere are different levels of identity.  Identity is a reference point for who/what we know ourselves to be.  Identity is important because depending on what we are identifying ourselves with or as will determine what we perceive and thus how we interact with everything in our world.  

So what are these different levels of identity?  I am going to describe 4 different “levels of identity” as I’ve come to know them. The 4 different levels are pre-rational, person, soul and God identity.  

Pre-rational identity

Pre-rational identity is that level of identity before we know ourselves as a self, or as an individual person.  This level of identity is pre-thought or pre-thinking ourselves into being.  There isn’t a sense of separateness between self and other selves because you don’t know yourself as a self yet.  In a sense you are your environment.  There isn’t the self awareness of having an experience.  You are experience and it’s simply happening.  This is seen in early stages of human life, especially noted in babies and very young toddlers before they know that a “me” exists.  Since you are experience and its simply happening there isn’t a “you” in the drivers seat, instead the environment is driving.  This is important especially if survival or emotional needs don’t get met by the environment that we are, because inherent in this is a sense of powerlessness to the environment.  When this occurs pathways can go undeveloped in our nervous system, particularly pathways that get fired when our nervous system experiences safety,  satiation, and rest.  Simultaneously other pathways get overdeveloped that relay information that environment is not safe, there is hunger, and to stay vigilant.  

When the pathways that know safety, satiation and rest are underdeveloped then the structure or framework that our system needs to integrate pre-rational identity gets halted and fragmentation or splitting of experience occurs.  We can call this distortion and it activates a cascade of protective mechanisms to try and keep us safe and alive.  Since there is a myriad of experiences that occur, some which fire safety pathways and some that fire pathways that say “not safe” what happens is that some fragmented parts stay at this pre-rational level of identity.  What this can show up as in our adult life is feeling victim or  powerless in certain aspects of our life.  You can also experience a general sense of not being able to relax or only being able to relax in certain environments or if certain conditions are met.  You may also experience that people or things aren’t safe or can’t be trusted, and that there may not be enough food or attention and love so you hoard or over consume.  There can also be a naivety about how things work and things can seem magical and mysterious.  This is also the place where life force (or body) intelligence and emotional intelligence reign.  What this means is that if we have aspects that have fragmented and are halted at this level of identity we can have challenges in physical health/healing and emotional resilience.  If this level of identity isn’t integrated there is also more reactivity and focus on survival, so we can see defensive and protective posturing and physiology that would be associated with fight, flight or freeze responses. 

Person identity

42052191 - women, black, worried.

At the level of person identity we have developed a sense of a separate self that is separate from others and from the environment.  This level of identity requires the faculties of mental intelligence which include the ability to think, discern,  see self as separate from other selves and be aware of feelings, sensations and as having a body without being identified as them.  There is a self that is aware that it has feelings and sensations which means you are not completely fused with them as them.  This begins to wake up choice, options, different possibilities and seeing the bigger picture, along with the awareness that you are in charge of and even the creator of your life.  

Usually around age 3 this person identity has showed up on the scene and it continues to develop into adolescence and early adulthood.  We can have experiences within this time that create fragmentation and distortion at this level of identity.  Some examples would be in not being seen as a unique person that we are, not having mirrored to us that we have skills and abilities, not being given options and being able to choose but instead being told what to do, and not having opportunity to express our unique nature.  These experiences don’t allow us to fire the pathways in our nervous system that are related to confidence, to feeling both failure and success and making it through, to feeling our power and our ability to choose, and to see how we impact our environment including our own body.  This stunts us in the development of our person identity as a separate self.  This can show up in us as adults by having difficulty with making choices, head being foggy, thoughts are unclear, difficulty knowing what you desire as a person or knowing your preferences, allowing people to walk all over you, or lacking confidence and drive.  In the nervous system this has less to do with protective posturing and fight/flight/freeze (though some of that may be present from on un-integrated pre-rational identity) and more to do with oscillating between disempowerment and feelings solidity and strength in self.  When person identity is not integrated the posturing tends to be more slumped or defeated, and as person identity get more integrated the posture becomes more upright and assertive.   

Soul identity

heart people vectorSoul identity is knowing yourself as in individuated being (like person identity), however there is awareness of your interconnectedness with all beings (and not just beings with physical, human form).  The separation of people and things is not like it is in person identity.  There are less solid barriers, defined edges and distinctions between people and objects.  Your experience is less “contained inside of  your own head” and is more fluid and interwoven with everything else.  Different from pre-rational identity you are not identified as the environment, but instead know your interconnectedness within it.  This allows you to experience a greater range of energy and you notice the presence of things and people more than their physical form or personality characteristics.  When your identity is at the soul level you are able to move your awareness around in your body and outside of your body and even into other bodies and objects, which is different than person identity where your awareness is primarily located in your head.  

This level of identity in connected with soul intelligence.  Soul intelligence is concerned with expanding and deepening in presence energy, love, wisdom, and interconnectedness.  Unity is at its core frequency.  The concerns that drive a person who is identified at soul level identity are how to be more awareness, knowingness of our truest nature and creating things to better serve the whole.  In general stabilizing in soul identity has been less accessible to humans.  We have had less mirrors available for mirroring this level of identity to us at our current planetary level of development, so the pathways are not as developed in our nervous systems, however this is changing.  The nervous system of someone who is identified at soul level identity expands to include what I call the “galactic” nervous system.  This is what allows you as an individuated being to be interconnected with everything else including what people may refer to as your “higher” self as well as other parallel versions of yourself and others.  Your thoughts are not just your thoughts, feelings are shared between people and things, information is more readily available to you but not through your normal pathways of mental intelligence or knowing, but instead through this soul intelligence or galactic highway.  The posturing is of the chest/heart being expanded and open, the head/neck come backwards instead of forward of the body and the physiology of the body is in greater communication and interconnectedness.  

God identity

32007403 - glittery lights silver abstract christmas background.

God identity goes beyond knowing yourself as anything individuated.  When you penetrate beyond the subtlest aspects of soul identity the only place left to identify with is One.  There is absolutely zero separation from anything in God identity.  You know  yourself as pure awareness, beyond all forms, beyond all energy, only aware of awareness in its most pure state.  There is no activity here, but instead primordial awakeness before anything is made manifest; simply being.  This is what most call our truest identity, yet some say there is still something even beyond this, something without beingness and without experience which is actually our truest identity.  

Since God identity is beyond form there is no posturing or physiology to note, but when someone is identified at this level while in form its like touching space.  There is a vast, open, pure and empty quality that expresses through their form.  There is no need for a nervous system to communicate with itself on an individuated level or a galactic level with others because you simply are everything.  All is instantaneous and happens at once.  Interconnectedness becomes one.  This is universal intelligence.  


Each level of identity is important, one is not better than the next.  From my current level of understanding these levels of identity are a developmental progression, each creating a foundation for the next.  You can be identified mostly in one level, say person identity, and you can simultaneously have tastes of these other identities.  But to truly stabilize at another level of identity you need multiple tastes of the next level and also full integration of the previous levels.  For example it would be very hard to stabilize in soul level identity if you have a lot of unresolved or unintegrated experiences at pre-rational or person level identity, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have tastes of it.  Typically when we have “peak” experiences, like say when we go to some type of transformational program, we get a taste of another level of identity that is possible.  If we’ve done enough integration work at previous levels than sometimes that’s all it takes to stabilize into a new identity.  However if we don’t stabilize at the next level of identity which we tasted than those parts of ourselves that still need to get integrated will rise up  into our awareness.  This is why sometime we actually go into chaos after a peak experience or a really high energy state.  The chaos is not bad or something to be fixed or gotten rid of but instead it is all of the stuff that we need to look at, address and be with so that we can really stabilize into the next level of our identity.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Not enoughness

Not enoughness 

Seeking external safety & approval

competingMost of us are familiar with the experience of feeling like we are not enough.  When we feel like we are not enough the tendency is for us to compete, even if that competition only lives within our own minds.  The way that competition shows up differs for everyone.  For some it is a constant pressure and striving on self to “do more” or “be better”.  For other people it is through being stronger or more powerful than others.  It is either through forcing ourselves to be better or by being better or more powerful than others that we find our validation and safety when we feel like we not enough.  

Not enoughness is the foundation of lack and scarcity.  When we inherently believe ourselves to be not enough we create a life where we are always needing to control, manage and prove ourselves so that we have enough “out there” and therefore feel internally ok.  Our inherent internal worth is not present so we must find enough outside of us, in our environment, relationships and situations.  You will notice that this is the case for you if you feel threatened by things in your environment changing.  This could be a change in your job, or in how your body functions, or a change in a relationship.  When a change arises, if it seems to threaten your sense of safety and stability, you can know its because you have outsourced your safety to things in your external conditions or environment, even including your own body.

When we outsource our safety and stability to things, our body or people in our environment there will always be a sense of inner powerlessness.  That means that any time we feel threatened by a feeling, an emotion, a sensation, or by what someone else does or doesn’t do, or says or doesn’t say, or really any experience at all that feels threatening, its coming from an underlying belief that somehow, in some way, we are not enough.  That ‘not enoughness’ can feel like death.  Death of our physical self, or psychological self or interpersonal/relational self.  It is this underlying belief that we are not enough that than causes us to react out of fear, to create stress hormones in our physiology, and that activates our nervous system into fight, flight or freeze.  This little or not so little belief in our ‘not enoughness’ effects everything from the health of our body, the quality of our relationships and how we can show up and participate in life.   

Falling out of flow 

Un-prioritizing what’s really important

A faucet with a water drop / Water consumption and shortage conceptMost of us desire flow state.  Flow state is that magical, energized state of being where things simply occur without too much effort, thinking or work.  If there is work it comes from this rhythmic dance of co-participation with the forces of life and nature.  We often feel light, blissful and inclusive of all that arises when in flow state.  We have all experienced some version of this and most of us are hungry for some flavor of this to be our constant state of being.  This is the state of being of abundance of self.  This is actually our true state.

The belief of our not enoughness/lack runs contrary to our true state of enoughness/abundance.  When things aren’t true, or said another way, when things are out of alignment, they feel bad.  This is why it feels so bad when we feel ‘not enoughness’.  Its actually out of alignment with our highest truth, but when we get hijacked by this belief it takes over as truth and we have a hard time seeing anything else.  Here begins the loss of our flow (natural, inherent) state of being. 

So what can we do about this?  As always the first thing is to be aware that this is happening as its happening.  Often we go unconscious and are not aware of ourselves while we our in patterns.  We get sucked into the pattern/belief and we don’t even know we are in it.  We’ve merged with and have become the pattern.  So we must pause, and recognize that we are believing that we are not enough and see all the ways that the pattern is manipulating our behavior.  Are we trying to be better, do more, prove ourselves, be stronger, smarter or more powerful than others?  Are we comparing ourselves to others, or to ourself? Do we feel crappy about ourselves, like we suck, like we are never going to get it?  Are we feeling scared, threatened, like we aren’t going to be ok?  These are all the behaviors and thoughts associated with the pattern of lack or not enoughness.

Once we are aware of ourselves to the point where there is some aspect of ourselves present that is not totally merged with the pattern we must prioritize the flow state of abundance.  Since we’ve experienced flow before we know it exists.  If it existed once it can exist again, we simply must bring it back into view.  We must see that it is here too even within the state of not enoughness.  The state of abundance includes everything, even the state of lack.  As we do this we begin to reabsorb and reconnect into more of our true state. Bringing more and more energy, focus and priority to abundant flow and simply noticing when you revert and go back into focusing and prioritizing lack.  This is a dance.  A dance of prioritization in which you get to rest more and more into your true state the more and more you bring it into awareness.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Our story of complexity

Our story of complexity 

How we avoid creating and expressing

Difficult resolution of a mazeFor a moment feel into something that you’ve been desiring to create or share in this world.  Find something specifically that feels like you haven’t quite arrived there yet in your ultimate creation or expression of it.  Something that you’ve been pursuing or waiting to have happen fully.  Maybe its a particular skill, something to do with your purpose/business, or maybe its full health or healing, or having a certain kind of relationship or even enlightenment.  

Ok now that you have something in mind notice how you feel about it.  Does it feel simple or hard?  My guess is that something about it feels hard to you or else you would have probably manifested or created it by now.  Notice what feels hard about it.  Does it seem impossible?  Really complex?  Like you don’t know how?  

There is this gap that occurs between things, skills, relationships, or states of being that we really desire and simultaneously don’t have yet.  In that gap lives our stories about why we can’t have or create what it is we desire.  This gap is often a mystery to us.  Most of us don’t even really know what’s in the gap, we just know that what we desire isn’t showing up, and over time we get frustrated and even resigned to it ever occurring.  

So take a moment again now, pause and notice what your relationship is to that thing that you desire.  What feels hard or complex about it?  What is it exactly that you don’t know?  Get really clear about what you feel like you don’t know.  Most of the time we don’t take the time to get really specific about what we think we don’t know.  Instead we hang out in this place of complete uncertainty or overwhelm about what we think we don’t know and we are not even being clear with ourselves about what we think we don’t know.  We live underneath this assumption that we don’t know how to create what we desire and therefore we can’t do it, even though we haven’t investigated what is so complex or hard about it.   Through investigation we can discover our unique story of complexity and see how it interferes or runs contrary to what we desire to create.    

The story continues…

Coming from not having what you need

One of the reasons that we go to complexity is that the mind values complexity more than simplicity.  Complexity seems to have more significance than simplicity.  If its simple than its boring and our stimulation seeking mind wants more activity and drama.  Its like only if its really hard/complex and we overcome that hardness, then its all worth doing.  There is nothing wrong with this, just realize that it creates a gap.  There is also nothing wrong with the gap, its really more about how we show up within the gap.  Do we shut down, go unconscious and assume we simply can’t create what we want?  Or, through investigation, do we see what is our own made up story and also what it is we actually don’t know, getting clear about both, and then seek out support for those things we truly don’t know?  This is the value of diving into the gap.

One other very prevalent thing that lives in the gap is the story that we don’t have what we need to create or do what we want.  We could have done all the schooling and training in the world, or have all the financial resources, or be the most fit/beautiful person and still feel like we don’t have what we need.  We come from a place of lack within ourselves.  When we come from lack inside of ourselves we will always give power to things or other people.  The new shiny object has the power, or the person over there has the power, or the new technique, tool, diet, fad, etc. has the power.  The power never is inside of you.   

Foretelling future from crystal ballA strategy that many people use to not feel this inner sense of lack is that they will tense up, numb or always look to the future for something to happen rather than seeing it right now.  This is one of the primary reasons that our desires do not more instantaneously manifest, because we are always putting them in the future sometime.  Our stories go something like this, “I’ll heal once I get this” or “This will be accomplished once get this one thing” or “It will happen later or next time”.  If we instead allowed ourselves to feel the threat that what we desire might not manifest, that lack of self in someway may exist and be revealed, we would be able to drop the tension that lack produces, be present and bring what we desire into the moment rather than as a future destination.  

Inside the gap lives the stories of complexity and lack.  What if instead you now approach your desires knowing their simplicity and knowing you have everything you need inside of you to create them?  How does that change how you feel and how does it change your relationship with your desires?  Go forth and play!

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Physiology follows perception

Physiology follows perception

The filters to perception

filterWe are all familiar with the mind-body connection.  We conceptually know that beliefs, thoughts and emotions effect our body.  Something we think can produce tension in our muscles or pain in our stomach.  With this knowing many of us still do not investigate our beliefs when tension, pain or dysfunction arises in the body.  Instead we go to some physical thing that we are doing or not doing, such as our diet, exercise, or sleep that must be the culprit.  

Why is it that this is our first reaction?  The truth is most people are not adept at paying attention to their feelings and thoughts or investigating their beliefs.  Instead the relationship to feelings and thoughts is typically only to try and stop the thoughts during meditation or figure out how to get relief from feelings that don’t feel good.  Most of us don’t automatically go towards feeling the uncomfortable feeling, noticing our thoughts or investigating what is creating the feeling or thought in the first place, which is the belief.  If we did we wouldn’t need to stop our thoughts or resist our feelings anymore, instead we would get to the core or their creator, our perception.  

Perception is the lens with which we look at life.  The filters for our perception are our beliefs.  If you imagine clear perception (before any beliefs) you would simply have pure light, or pure awareness.  Think of this as your primordial state before you learned anything.  You were totally clear, pure, innocent, light.  You can see this light in newborn babies or baby animals.  That’s why we love them so much!  You will also notice in babies that they are not resisting their uncomfortable feelings, but instead simply expressing their discomfort.  Likewise they are not thinking yet as their mental faculties are not yet developed, so they have no thoughts to resist or contend with either.  In fact they are a total blank state, or pure in their perception.

As life progresses we learn things from others and in that learning we develop filters (aka beliefs) that begin to color our perception.  Instead of our perception being clear it now bends or distorts creating ripples in the fabric of our clear awareness.  This is how we begin to create our reality so to speak.  Our filters determine and decide what we see, how we see and that quite literally create the reality that we perceive.  That reality that we perceive then obeys the laws of our filters (beliefs).  It literally can not.   

Perception is chemistry 

Identified as a body

10618311 - test tubes in the laboratory on a gray backgroundOk now that we understand perception lets tie this back into our physiology, our chemistry and the experience of having a body.   Depending on your particular filters that color your perception you create not only your reality at large, but also your body and how your body functions (its physiology and chemistry).  From this perspective you can ultimately see how you are the creator.  Now most of us don’t really know that we are the creator, instead we think we are a body, but really we are the perception that creates the body.   Take a moment and let that really register and sink in.  

Now when you are identified as a body (instead of the perception that creates the body) you feel powerless or victim to how the body expresses.  You have to wait or try and figure out what the perfect conditions are that will hopefully support your health and vitality.  This comes back to why our focus first goes to the things in our environment that we can somehow physically manipulate or change.  Our hope is that by manipulating or changing these things that our physical body and physiology will change too.  Now sometimes this works, or works for a little a while, and sometimes it doesn’t.  When it seems to not work and we have tried it enough times to realize it isn’t working, we may get curious about what else is creating this situation in our body/physiology.  Here is when people may start to explore their emotions, become aware of repressed emotions, things they have buried and haven’t allowed themselves to feel, and they begin to feel them.  This is a step closer to empowerment because you are getting more subtle than just working with physical manipulation of objects and things in your environment.  You are including more of you in the process and that comes with a sense of increasing empowerment rather than simply having to wait for some physical thing to change.  

Often once you have been able to access some of the more deeply stored emotions you begin to have more inner space and with that the ability to become more aware of your thoughts.  You may start to notice the direct connection between a thought that you have, how that makes you feel and the effects it has on your body/physiology.  Once this is realized the next step is to investigate the thought and see what belief (or filter) created that thought.  Say for example you recognize that you have the thought “I’ve done something wrong” and it comes with the feeling of overwhelm and the sensation of gripping in your gut.  If you have this much awareness you can now investigate the belief that created the thought “I’ve done something wrong”.  In investigation you realize that you have a filter/belief that shines the color of there being “rightness and wrongness.”  When you can see at this level you can even begin to then transcend the belief itself and return into the primordial, pure awareness state, before anything was learned or created into manifestation.  It is from this place in awareness that you can dissolve filters and begin to re-create a new reality and a new body/physiology for yourself.  This is the ultimate empowerment because you are now in your true state rather than identified with your body.  When you are identified with your body it is very hard to make changes in your chemistry/physiology without the use of physical agents.  Once you become increasingly subtle in your awareness, starting with emotions, than thoughts, beliefs and finally pure awareness itself, shifting the physical manifestation becomes easier and easier.  Your need to rely on external agents become less and less.  

It is my theory that one of the biggest reasons why conditions, pains and disease manifest in the physical body/physiology is to help us realize more of what we are and more of our power.  They do this though showing us where we are still misidentified as something other than the pure awareness (which is so clearly seen in a baby) and where we are giving away our power.  When we can learn to use things that arise in our physical body as teachers in this way we can greatly accelerate our journey into remembering, reconnecting and embodying our truest Self or identity while here in this body on this planet.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado