EXPECTATIONS & GETTING
Attachment to outcome
Expectations. Seems like we all have them. As much as we want to believe that we are someone who goes with the flow and allows life be exactly as it is without any insistence that it be different, most of us aren’t. To be without insistence requires a neutrality that we as humans have not cultivated. We have learned that some things are good, other things are bad, and there really isn’t much in between. It’s as if we have to choose sides inside of our minds as to what we want to allow rather than allow it all to exist as it is. Due to the fact that we are convicted in our judgments about good and bad, we find it very hard to be without insistence or expectation that things turn out a particular way. We avoid those things which we label as bad like the plague and grasp like hell to those things we call good. We are almost constantly in a state where we are holding our breath just hoping that whatever happens is the thing we want to happen, which we have labeled as good.
When people are really attached to a certain outcome, but are in denial that they are, I will often hear them say something to the effect of “well we will just wait and see what happens.” They disengage as a way to almost pretend to themselves that they are not attached to an outcome, but in the process they also disengage from steering the ship of their life, which equates to not being in their power. They play the waiting game, which goes something like this: I’m exhausted trying to make my life look or turn out like I want it to. I feel helpless. Rather than realize my power to let go of my expectations, change my definitions about whatever it is that is showing up in my life and focus on my state of being rather than the appearances of life, I quit. I “give it the universe” as if the universe is some mysterious force outside of me who is calling the shots of my perceptions and the meaning I give to things.”
While many might think this the “spiritual way” to go about things, it is actually a lack of recognition of one’s power to choose how they experience their reality in any moment despite the appearance of things. We all conceptually know that it’s not, and has never been about, the appearance of things. We all conceptually know it’s about what is at the core essence of things that really matters. Yet most all of us focus on the appearance. If we paid even a fraction of the amount of time focused on our inner state, as we do the outer state, we would have a whole new life experience near instantly.
WHERE ARE WE TRYING TO GET
Be done with progress
As humans “getting” is one of our most favorite states. We want to make progress, know that we are going somewhere, that things are happening for the better. What if we just did away with the concept of better? I am not saying that things can’t change or evolve, because of course they can, but the constant measuring from a place of not enough to another place that is hopefully more of enough, is a losing game. You will never arrive at better because it doesn’t exist except as a concept in your mind where more of your definitions of “good” appear inside of your now moment. Recognize that what I just said is that you experiencing better is a change in your definitions of whatever you are experiencing and not a change in the situation itself. This means that your perception and experience of progress is 100% up to you and not outside of you. What this all boils down to is you coming to terms with, and accepting this now moment and everything that exists inside of it, as perfectly perfect. Even if you don’t like it or prefer it. This is how you get to neutrality, which leads to greater perception of choice rather than polarization and reactivity.
You must see the best in what is now or you will not ever see the best in what is later. The key here is that you have to bring the best into now, you can’t get to it. How do you do this you ask? It is very, very simple, by seeing what’s here as enough. As I write this I can hear some of you thinking “but I want more, I deserve more!” I hear you and it’s true, you do, but you can’t get to more, you have to realize what is already here and receive it. See you are pushing out those things in yourself and your life that you do not feel like are enough, meaning those things you have defined as bad or wrong that you are constantly trying to avoid through your control of outcomes, circumstances, situations and your very own self and body. By pushing them out you reject or resist part of creation. To come to the recognition of best you have to become more inclusive of yourself and all of life’s expressions. You also have to realize that none of life’s expressions define you unless you say they do. They are just part of the soup that makes up this entire creation game.
So do you make progress? Yes and no. Really progress is a change in perception about what is. When you decide to view whatever it is that you looking at as good, well alas that is what we tend to call progress. So progress is less a “change in the appearance of things or the circumstances” and more a change in perception of what is. Can your change in perception change the circumstances? Absolutely it can, but it doesn’t always. What’s important here though is that you don’t really care anymore if the circumstances change because you have changed your mind about what is and that is all that is required in order for you to have a different experience. While we all think that once this or that thing changes then we will feel differently, in truth it works the opposite way.
As you move from expectations, control of outcomes and trying to get somewhere, and as you neutralize your perceptions of the expressions of life, you will see that you have much more “control” over your experience than you ever realized. Rather than trying to get control by controlling life’s expressions, you realize your inner power is simply here now inside of your view. You are now more clearly aligned with your chosen frequency and what you prefer to experience. You actively participate by following and being in your perception of goodness. You keep learning and expanding from a place of being rested in your completeness. You discover more and more of you without any hurry to get anywhere else. You know you’ve arrived here, because here is the only place to arrive. It is good and it is enough.
Dr. Amanda Love, Light Touch, Subtle Energetic, Network Spinal Chiropractor, Boulder, Colorado
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