Sanctuary for Heart Magic

THE BODY BEYOND TENSION

When bracing becomes unnecessary

Relaxation is a simple thing, at least so it seems. We sit down, we breathe, we tune in and we let go. While in theory this is the most natural state of being, practically speaking there are few people who actually deeply relax. We are geared up, overwhelmed with stimulus and can’t focus inwardly for more than a few moments. There is a tension in the body that seems to never completely unwind and we feel unsettled even when our body is still. Sleep might temporarily give us reprieve from our tense state, but when we sleep we are unconscious to our body and therefore not able to enjoy embodied, relaxed wakefulness. When we become conscious again our body tensions are right there waiting for us.

One might ask, can the body even be without tension? 

If we look at tension as tone, then the answer is no. We need some amount of tone in order to not be floppy, too lax or leaky. Tone is on a spectrum. Too much exists on one end and too little on the other end. In the middle we find neutral, or what I might call regulated tone. This is a healthy state of tension. There is not tightness or pain associated with this state, but rather the ability to create coordinated, smooth, strong muscle actions within our full range of motion. 

In looking at the spectrum of tone, when the pendulum swings towards excess there is gripping, controlling, tightening, constricting and resistance. There is also increased awareness of the tension and/or pain is present, of which the source seems unknown. On the other side of the pendulum we have deficient tone with a softness in the muscles that feels boggy, saggy, leaky, and weak. Typically we aren’t aware of much sensation in the area, rather the experience is difficultly with finding or accessing that part of the body to control it.

What creates too much or too little tension? 

From a pure biomechanical perspective there can be imbalances in the way we use our muscles. We might sit, stand or engage in activities that activate some muscles while disengaging others. This creates imbalances in the tone of the muscles. When most people think about muscle tension, this is the type they tend to think about and attribute all of their tension to. However when stretching or strengthening doesn’t readily shift the tension balance and it becomes chronic, more is going on than a pure biomechanical imbalance. We traverse the terrain from biomechanical tension to what I call neurological tension. This is a centralized tension that is deeper in the nervous system and is perpetuated through the mind body connection. Neurological tension is related to our thoughts, feelings and emotional patterning as it connects into our body and can’t be stretched out or strengthened away through muscular exercises. This tension needs a different type of presence in order to unwind itself.

FREEDOM IN A BODY

Walking the path home

Neurological tension doesn’t need muscular balancing, instead it needs to have the neuroception that it is safe before it will release. Safety isn’t received by the nervous system through logic, rather it has to be felt. You can tell someone all day long that they are safe, but if they don’t feel it then they won’t, or I would even say can’t, let go. This is why you aren’t able to convince yourself to let go of tension even when you know it’s logical to do so. In fact attempting to try generally creates more resistance. 

I often use the analogy of small children to understand this relationship. If a 2 year old is scared of the dark or of anything really, you can’t rationalize with them because they don’t understand logic. Instead you have to be with them. Console and hold them so they feel safety. Without the physical transmission of safety their fears dominate and they will be tense or guard in order to protect themselves from the danger they perceive. Once they feel some safety then you can look under the dark bed with them or move them towards their fears, but feeling the safety first is key. This is how neurological tension works.

We learn most of our neurological tension patterns in the first decade of our life. 

They occur when we feel unsafe or perceive threat and we don’t have a source of safety to rebalance or regulate us back to safety. They can also be learned at times of trauma later on in life where we might have experienced violence or harm. What happens is that every time thereafter when we feel unsafe or perceive un-safety, whether from a true or imagined threat, we will create a tension response in our body. This is an innate protective reaction and the tension won’t shift until we are present with it. 

How do we bring presence to it? Either we usher safety to it with our own presence or we get the support of a safe presence to be there with us with it. Only then does it start to unwind and share it’s story with us. In that moment our only job is to be with it, acknowledge what it is feeling and let it be heard. That’s it. We don’t fix, change, figure it out, or try to get it to understand that it’s safe. Again safety has to be felt, not told. Through this process the grip lets go little by little. With more experiences and touch-ins of safety, deeper relaxation occurs. This is repatterining. You can’t get rid of experiences of pain or trauma, but you can re-introduce experiences of safety which then allow the system to lay down pathways of ease and deep relaxation.

This is not an overnight process, but with time you have more capacity to be free in your body. 

Tension makes us feel bound, limited and constricted and deep relaxation brings freedom within our body. This is not a quickie “reset” of your nervous system, but rather entirely new pathways from which your awareness can move through your body. Breath begins to flow unimpeded, joints glide easily and muscles feel balanced. This is regulated body tension and the embodiment of safety and freedom. Beyond body tension there is presence and active responsiveness with life. You are no longer constrained by your fears or locked into the feelings and perspectives of un-safety. There are other options and different pathways of possibility you now know. The experience of this is a life of synchronicity, reciprocity and well, what I would call magic. We are able to exchange energy and information with a greater expanse of life rather than be in confined loops of disconnection and feelings of separation.

Freedom in a body and a body beyond tension, it is possible, even probable, as long as you continue to walk the path towards presence with your tensions rather than avoidance of them. Remember our natural state is open relaxation. We are born as infants in a state of full surrender and open exchange with life. We are pure. This never leaves us, it is always only us that leave it. But there is a way back, you just have to walk it.

Dr. Amanda Lalita Love, DC, MSA, L.Ac

Network Spinal Chiropractor & Somatic Healer at the Sanctuary for Heart Magic in Boulder, CO, a Mentor for Heart-Led Healers at Soul Luminaries & the Writer of The Everyday Divine.