Sanctuary for Heart Magic

THE MAGIC OF SUBTLETY IN HEALING

Beliefs and worldviews

So often we believe that we need greater force, more intensity or something hard to fix what ails us. If we find out about a supplement that has been shown to help a condition we have, then we take more of it thinking that more will be better. When something hurts in our body we think we need something vigorous to alleviate it. If something isn’t working in one of our relationships, we think some big change needs to occur in order to rectify the situation. We lean towards bigness and forcefulness, rather than gentleness and subtlety, believing that force is more effective. There is a belief which most people hold that says the deeper, harder, more intensive and invasive something is the more likely it is to work, and by work I mean fix whatever seems to be broken. We see this across the board in the way we approach our physical healthcare, psychological well-being and relational health.

Why do we do we believe this? 

There are several reasons. The first is cultural. We live, or at least have been living for the past 5,000 years, inside of a masculine centric worldview. Whether we agree or disagree with that worldview is not the point. Rather I bring attention to it here simply as a factor of influence in our approach to life, which includes how we relate to our body and the impact of this worldview on our belief systems. We are in an energetic soup that is out of balance. The pendulum having swung too far in one direction, which has led to the disbelief and reduction of the other side of the polarity. We have forgotten that we can’t have hard without soft, force without presence, and intensity without relaxation. While most people crave the subtle side of the pendulum, they also have trouble believing in it as a substantial way to work with the density of physicality.

Another reason, which is actually connected to the first, is that most people are disconnected from their bodies. We can’t feel things unless there is a lot of sensation. We are also disconnected from our emotional bodies. Most people feel incredibly uncomfortable with their emotions, which results in an inability to feel and/or the experience of blockage. Paradoxically we then wonder why we are blocked or stuck. It’s because we can’t or aren’t feeling. When we require a lot of sensation to feel something, we gravitate towards methods that provide a lot of sensation. This is so we can feel that something is occurring. Without intensity it seems as though nothing is happening. However most often it is not that nothing is happening, but rather that you aren’t able to perceive what is occurring. This leads to the conclusion that subtlety does work.

REWIRING OUR SYTEM FOR SUBTLETY

Feeling all the way through

How do we re-wire ourselves in order to perceive subtlety? The first piece is that we have to feel again. Without feeling we won’t be able to feel. Obvious, but elusive to most. We always want to find some kind of workaround to feeling. We think if we could just do more, figure it out, get it right or come up with a better strategy then the magic of subtlety will dawn upon us. In my experience it doesn’t work that way. In order to tune into subtlety we must soften into feeling. Now here is another paradox, while we need softness in order to drop into feeling, feeling doesn’t always feel soft when we are in it. It can feel intense, sharp and heartbreaking at times. This is why our psyche doesn’t willing go there. It knows that what needs to be felt might hurt. Yet feeling whatever is there to be felt is the only way to soften it. Through feeling we no longer need to guard, thus the tension melts and our defenses quiet down.

Everyone has the capacity to feel, but for some it may be a more distant pathway. One that hasn’t been used in a while, perhaps even since you were a child. Just because we haven’t used a pathway for awhile doesn’t mean it is gone. It just means that it’s underworked and likely underneath some layers of tension and resistance.. It can still be accessed, but may take time. It’s process. A process of unwinding and leaning into that which feels vulnerable, all so that we can reconnect to feeling again. You might wonder why go through the intensity of emotion, particularly of things which don’t feel good. While again because if you don’t you limit what you can perceive. This means that you will feel disconnected from your body and have greater challenges relating to others, because you can’t feel yourself or them. Also when you are challenged in feeling, you often don’t know your direction or purpose in life, because you can’t access your inner knowing.

There are also those who haven’t lost or forgotten their sensitivity, but who have built walls around it, because its felt like too much for them. There are still others who’ve created stories around their sensitivity, such as that their feelings are too much for others, therefore they don’t share or express their feelings. This results in holding back feelings in their body as tension. Tension is the number one strategy we utilize to not feel. While most people think that tension is the “problem” and that they need to get rid of it by some external means, tension is simply an indication that something hurts which needs to be felt. It is an effect, not the problem. Once we feel, or are able to sense through our body whatever it is that we are resisting, the tension relaxes and our capacity to feel is restored. Through restoration of feeling our ability to perceive subtlety comes back on line. We start to balance the pendulum that has swung far to one side.

I also want to say that there are times for force and the deeper, harder energetics of the masculine, just as there are times for presence, softness and the subtlety of the feminine. Due to the polarity being out of balance collectively for so long, we have mostly lost touch with the later. It is not one or the other, but rather a harmony between the two that is key for integrated healing and living. When we are balanced, we operate from wholeness rather than just one side. Lastly to note, there is a magic in subtlety. One that allows for even the seemingly most dense material to move, not because we force it to, but because we allow it to. This is the power of being able to attune with the gentler aspect of our nature, which comes through feeling what is here to be felt all the way through.

Dr. Amanda Lalita Love, DC, MSA, L.Ac

Network Spinal Chiropractor & Somatic Healer at the Sanctuary for Heart Magic, a Mentor for Heart-Led Healers at Soul Luminaries & the Writer of The Everyday Divine.