LEARNING TO LOVE LIFE
Logic is not the answer
This life is not always a walk in the park. In fact much of the time there is challenge, hard work and lots of arduous learning to be had. Sure there are rhythms when things flow smoothly and all goes according to our desired plan, yet there are many rhythms when things don’t. Rhythms where we feel lost, confused, bored, restless, stressed, and where we are ready to be off planet in some peaceful paradise where things work easily and we feel good all of the time. Yet the fact remains that we are here on this planet, with this physical human body and there are things to be learned, shared and created right here where we are. How do we make peace with being where we are even when we don’t like it? How do we live in acceptance rather than resistance to our experience of challenge, work and learning?
When things are difficult many of us are good at logically rationalizing the situation. For example say you are experiencing a tough rhythm. Something you really want isn’t working out. You feel confused and lost as to what is going on in your life. You keep trying to think and find a logistical way out of the situation or something that will make it work out, but you are just spinning. You can’t seem to find your way through. You feel stuck, and little hopeless. This is an incredibly common scenario. You might logically know that somehow everything is going to be just fine, and while you logically know this you can’t quite seem to get yourself to really believe it because you are still spinning inside of it all. Utilizing logic is not the solution at this stage of the game.
While logic is not the solution, this doesn’t stop us from trying to use it in order to get out of whatever it is we don’t want to experience in this life. The reason why logic is not the answer is because from our mind’s perspective it is illogical to accept what we don’t like or understand, and ultimately acceptance is the solution to learning to love life as it is. Your logic will likely not get you into acceptance of whatever is, but rather will keep you continuing to strategize how to not accept whatever is showing up in your life that you don’t want or understand. Accepting what is also means that we have to feel what is. This is again why we default to logic. Most people prefer being tortured inside of the tornado of their thoughts rather than feel their emotions about what is.
LOVING WHERE YOU ARE
Accepting what is
Feeling our emotion about what is, bridges the gap between what we are logically trying to get ourselves to figure out and accepting what is. When we feel emotion it clears out our resistances. We stop trying to fight an uphill battle and therefore we can take a breath. We may still not like, prefer or want what is, but we are no longer trying to deny, escape or get out of its existence. We are rather just with what is, no longer fleeing from the dangers of feeling our emotions about it. We’ve felt the thing, or more accurately we’ve felt our emotions about the thing. We now experience some space, some ease and some peace. We may not have clarity or know what we need to do, because perhaps there is nothing to do, or maybe there is, but either way we are more embracing of being in this moment rather than trying to get out of it and into the next one where we perceive we will feel more peace, joy or excitement.
How does all of this lead to loving where you are? When you are more accepting you are naturally more loving of everything. You can still not like certain things, but your liking or not of what is, doesn’t touch you loving it. Yes that’s right you can love what is, and simultaneously not like it. You can respond with authenticity and grace, receiving what you don’t like and loving it exactly as it is. But as long as you are in resistance to what is and not feeling your emotions about it, your mind can’t grok how this would be even possible. Acceptance of what is opens the doorway in your mind so that you can comprehend this.
Until we reach acceptance of what is no real change can occur in us or in how we perceive or feel about the situations of our life. Instead we will just keep trying to fight or flee from it. We won’t find love where we are if we are resisting what’s here. You can’t escape your resistances. You will take them with you into your next situation, and your next one, and the one after that, and on and on for eternity. They don’t just go away because you insulate yourself from them through carefully crafting or controlling your environments. Rather you only keep them at bay while they lurk in the depths waiting for their next opportunity to present themselves so that you can heal, resolve, and integrate them rather than move away from them.
To not love where you are in this moment is to reject life and be in a state of unappreciation, and there is nothing more painful than that. If your circumstances or situations change to your liking and then you decide to love life, your love is conditional. The condition of your love being that your preferences are met. This is not the stable, unshakeable, unconditional, divine love that we all seek to know. To know this love is to become it. How bold is to love life even when it’s not up to your liking? How brave do you need to be in order to feel, accept and love life as it is and know that it will work out perfectly for you even if you don’t like it? This is what takes in order to learn to love life and to love where you are in this moment.
Dr. Amanda Love, Network Spinal Chiropractor, Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado