You don’t have to fix your less resourced parts
Transformation sometimes comes with this idea that we have to fix these parts of ourselves that are not as resourced. That somehow we have to change these actual parts of ourselves that are behaving or thinking in ways that are not what we ultimately desire. This often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and like we have to go to battle with these parts and somehow win them over because they are preventing our growth.
Less resourced parts are simply patterns that we have learned with which we engage with ourselves or the world. We call them less resourced simply because they are limited in their perspective. To be less resourced is simply to see from a smaller lens or view, or said another way to not fully see or know what one is.
These parts don’t need to be fixed or changed, they simply need perspective. In fact to try and change these parts will most likely just piss them off and get them to react and activate even more, or it will create another less resourced part to come to its aid and protect it.
So if you can’t fix or change the part then what can you do? The first thing that any part needs is acceptance. Acceptance of what it is exactly as it is, even in its lack of resourcefulness. This often means accepting the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things we are typically running away from or are constantly trying to change because we don’t like them. Initially this often feels bad to us which is why most people don’t automatically drop into acceptance, however if acceptance does not occur first then no true transformation will ever follow because you will be trying to still somehow fix or change the part rather than truly transform.
So then what is true transformation if it isn’t changing or fixing the part? True transformation is gaining perspective and through that finding a part or aspect of self that has more resourcefulness. You can think of it in this way, we all have a range of resourcefulness (also known as awareness). I think of it as a spectrum, and we all land somewhere along that spectrum. Sometimes we go up and sometimes we go down, but we tend to have a base point where we hang out most of the time. This base point where we hang out can stabilize higher or lower along the spectrum depending on what we perceive to be occurring in our life and also based on our choices.
So what do I mean by “based on our choices”? Its this. When you gain perspective and find a part that can see more clearly or has more resourcefulness you now have choice. Previous to this you only had the limited perspective of the less resourced parts view, so in essence there was no other choice. The only choice was what that less resourced part knew. This is often where you are at when you feel the experience of being stuck but not knowing what else you can do. You are merged with this less resourced part and therefore there are no other choice options available yet.
However with acceptance of the part as it is a new perspective inherently arises and now you see that there is another way or something that is more true than what that limited, less resourced part was experiencing. You are now less merged with the less resourced part and have access to more perspective, more options and more of you.
This is the first real place where choice arises. Now that you have this new awareness or perspective you get to choose to see through the lens of the less resourced part or through the lens of this new more resourced part. The choice becomes more and more yours. You will forget the new perspective many times and revert back to the less resourced view, but the more and more you see that you are in that less resourced perspective, the more and more you can align with the new perspective. This does take dedication, persistence, and repetition. You must be vigilant to yourself, noticing as soon as you can when you have dropped into a less resourceful state and perspective. In this way you are not fixing a part, but rather gaining greater perspective which includes that previous part, but where that less resourced part is not running the perspective show. Instead this new option for being arises more and more and you deliberately choose it more and more. This is how you up-level yourself and how you shift your base point higher and higher along the resourcefulness spectrum. This is the path of include and transcend.
Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado