Giving Everything Back to Source
Tendency to hold on
As human beings we tend to hold onto everything. This perpetual holding on gives us a sense of security and like we can somehow manipulate our external reality if we just hold on a little bit tighter. Holding on is our attempt to control the spontaneous, unpredictability of life so that we are not caught too far off our guard where we perceive that things might get or go “bad”. This holding onto life keeps our life looking a particular way and provides us with the illusionary experience of consistency and sameness. While a part of us feels better when this illusionary experience of life appears to be intact, another part of us feels stifled and like it can’t breathe inside of delusion we are perpetuating.
We not only hold onto material things like homes, jobs, relationships and such, we also hold onto thoughts. In fact we are almost never entirely without a thought. For many people to open into the spacious, emptiness beyond thought is terrifying. I believe that most have never done it for much longer than a second or two, if even that, which means that we are always holding onto something. Why the terror to let go you may ask? Perhaps we fear that this world that we live in now, with all the things that we know, will disappear. Perhaps the tastes we’ve had of freedom have felt “too free” and we prefer some constraint and limitation over our freedom. Maybe we’ve created the story that we don’t know how to let go, or maybe we don’t even know that we are holding life in the grips of our own mind.
Regardless of our reasoning or our lack of awareness into ourselves as to our patterns of holding the result of holding is the same. Holding on always creates some level of tension in our body-mind. That tension then becomes the filter with which we interpret and experience everything and with which we come to believe what is. Tension patterns also create disconnection from source or from the larger organizing principle of creation. This is the inherent function of tension patterns, to be self-protective of this individuated body-mind organism that we call ourselves, and yet simultaneous with this comes reinforcement of the illusion of perceiving yourself as separate from the rest of creation.
Reconnecting with Source
Its easier than your mind thinks
Re-establishing connection to source is always easier than our mind thinks that it is. It is the job of our mind to make things way more complicated than they are in actuality. People’s minds like to talk about how they have to do this or that, change this or that, or how they just have to surrender and let go already. Yet for most this simply stays in their mind as another thought or idea that takes up space inside of the infinite spaciousness of ourselves. I find if people are talking about their need to surrender and let go they are quite far from actually doing it. Why does letting go or surrendering stay in the mind rather than become our direct experience? It is because ultimately we don’t really want to let go of what we say we want to let go of. We prefer our uncomfortable (or unnoticeable for some that have less awareness of themselves) tension patterns and delusional stories of reality over ease and truth because more than anything else we fear what we might lose.
So fear of loss runs the show of our lives until we boldly and courageously decide to no longer let it. Not until we are willing to lose everything can we truly experience surrender. Few people arrive here without exhausting every other possible route first. We quite literally exhaust ourselves into the truth. Our beliefs in scarcity, lack, and wrongness, that we won’t have enough, be enough, achieve the right things, things won’t last or turn out, that we’ve failed, will be alone, etc… triumphs.
How do we walk this path towards surrender step by step? I have found that to give everything back to source is the quickest route. This means making the commitment to first tune into yourself and develop awareness of your patterns of tension and disconnection. As tension patterns arise at the body level immediately release them. Don’t try to figure them out or process them at length, simply just drop the tension. Rather than continue to hold on to it, let it go, just like that. You will notice instantly more ease and breath in your body. You will also begin to realize just how powerful you are and how you are the creator of your own tension patterns. Second is the willingness to let go of your thoughts as they arise. This will take consistent practice for most. If you get fixated on a thought recognize the fixation and then let the thought go. This is important particularly for thoughts that really grab you and bring you into a less resourced and often fearful state.
As you do this more and more you will be developing your skill set in giving back to source rather than taking from or holding on as if nothing else will ever come your way. Whenever we give back we are instantaneously rewarded with more energy and aliveness. What we hold onto we maintain. At best our energy state stays neutral which means life looks the same and feels mundane most of the time. However what we give back to life, to source, frees us up and thus we become available to exponentially greater and greater states of energy. This also means that we almost never know what will happen. We are in the moment of ever present aliveness, trust, and knowingness in the perfection of it all. This is what at our heart of hearts we all desire and seek no matter how much our minds want to interfere.
Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado