INFINITE TIMELESSNESS

INFINITE TIMELESSNESS 

Only the present is

From the human perspective we are born, have experiences and then die.  It seems to move in one linear direction.  One present moment to the next present moment, and the moments continue to come one after the other without so much as asking our opinion about it.  This trajectory is ceaseless in its perpetuity of continuousness.  We call this perpetuity past, present and future, but this endless moment exists only now without a future or past.  At the very core of what we call time is infinite timelessness of now and now and now.  This present moment is inescapable as it is the foundation of consciousness and creation.  

Due to the way our minds both file memories and visualize potentiality life seems to happen outside of this moment.  It seems something is occurring now and some things will occur later and some other things occurred previously, but nothing ever occurred or occurs outside of now.  What we view as past or future are really just thoughts bouncing around in our minds and have very little to do with time itself even though we’ve become accustom to calling it past or future. In fact our thinking about these thoughts now brings them into now, which is the prime way that people can feel like they are either “re-living” their past or that things are occurring along a linear progression.  This can be seen as us experiencing trauma patterns, identities, relationship dynamics, perspectives and beliefs from our “past” now.  It is only your thoughts about them that bring them into now.  Essentially you bring that information, patterning and programing to the present over and over and over again.  It’s not that you are living your past, because that would be impossible, but instead that you are carrying the same thoughts and perspectives into each present moment.  

Could you in one full swoop shift a belief or perspective?  Yes anyone could, it is your free will to do so.  In fact when you do this it is what we call healing.  Healing is really just shifting your perspective from viewing something through a lens that creates pain and suffering to one that creates liberation instead.  In this way healing is not process, but simply the moment that you decide to change your lens.  From there you create a different present moment that is filled with different information and energy, which to your human self looks and feels like living a different reality.  This can be done infinitely.  There is no end to it because there is no end to perspectives or the present moment.   

TEMPLATES OF POSSIBILITY 

Beyond the forward focus

As humans it seems as if we always want to get somewhere.  There is always somewhere that we are going, either physically or in thought.  This forward focus of attaining our desires and living a purposeful life seems to drive the ship as without it we become listless, depressed or bored.  While transformative and action oriented in nature, the focus on where we are going peaks when we’ve shared, lived and expressed all we feel we’ve come to share, live and express in outward ways.  Not from a hopeless having given up place, but from a place of having fulfilled our minds ideal of what some might call their destiny.  This often comes through the realization that there is no where to arrive to other than where you are.  In this way the destination ceases to exist.

What lives beyond the forward focus?  A resting into the present now.  You welcome the inescapable nature of the present whether it contains what you desire it to contain or not.  You realize the power of your thoughts and perspectives in the creation of your experience now.  You see that you really are in charge and see through the illusion of disempowerment, which comes from thinking you are the experience/creation rather than the creator of it.  Recognizing the power of thoughts and how they bring your present moment experience alive is the key to your creator abilities.  This is in fact how you are already creating each moment.  

The templates (you could call these beliefs and perspectives) already exist for every single possibility.  They are not outside of your reach nor something you need to somehow figure out.  There is only the self-investigation of what it is you are believing to be true in this moment and then deciding if you still want to believe it or not.  Also seeing how what you currently believe is either compatible or incompatible with what you desire now.  Often we want to hold onto certain perspectives so strongly even when they feel bad or creates suffering for ourselves.  It can feel like nothing is strong enough to dismantle them, yet you are that strong.  In fact your strength alone is the only thing in the entire universe that can dismantle it.  No person, thing, or magical fairy can do it for you.  It is 100% an inside job.  

You cannot live in a past or a future.  You can only live now.  This is your present moment.  All possibilities exist here.  Turn inwards to the present rather than outwards to the past or future and see the intricacies of the organization of your own beliefs and perspectives.  See how they create your experience.  You cannot get anywhere and there is nowhere to go back too.  Realize the vastness of that statement.  You cannot go back to a previous version of you, nor can you bypass this moment into something other than what it is.  What do you desire now?  What do you want to feel now?  What do you want to see now?  This is it.  The lure or the dread of the seeming past-future may grab you, but as soon as it does recognize once again what is here now.  See how you are creating it.  See if it is what you want to be creating.  This is the only true fulfillment because inside of it lives all that lives. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

SOUL’S JOURNEY

SOUL’S JOURNEY

Outside the box

We are all on a soul’s journey.  Current incarnational destination, Planet Earth.  Your journey did not start when you were born into this body, nor will it end when you leave this body.  While you are in this body you learn to call yourself human and think of yourself as this body, but you are not.  This human experience is simply one stop along a infinite spiraling journey that your soul is embarking on to learn, teach, expand and make manifest its creative potential.  

Your life is not what you think it’s about.  Most people are absorbed in the content of the day to day life of what it means to be and think yourself as human.  Things like how to survive, pay bills, build family and relationships, connect with people, have good health, manifest dreams and desires, have fun and hopefully create cool stuff are the typical human scripts.  This lens of human focus is narrow and rarely takes into account anything beyond the surface appearance of what is occurring.  Well all of these aspects of the human experience provide learning, adventure, and add value to your soul’s journey, they often occur out of connection with the knowingness of your actual self.  There is nothing wrong or bad about this, its simply an incomplete knowingness or lack of awareness as what is really going on beyond the senses and the logical mind.  Due to this we think our life is about all the stuff and about our individual human selves when really it is about the recognition of our true nature as the source or creator of all the experiences.  Said another way life is not about the experiences, but instead about the recognition of the experiencer.  

The way I see it is that there is a master architect that organizes all of this experience that we call being human including the opportunities we have or don’t have.  We are largely unaware of this architect.  Sometimes we notice synchronicity or what we might call magic and that gives us a glimpse of the architect, but yet it remains a mystery as to what is really going on here as experiences continue to endlessly come our way.  Just as a person locked inside a room for their entire life would not know that anything outside of that room existed, being human is similar.  As humans we are unaware of the box that we are living inside of.  We don’t know that there is a box nor that there is something outside of that box, until we find the door and open it.   

BECOMING ENSPIRITED 

Return of life

The master architect is the soul.  You can think of your soul as less personal than you probably tend to do.  Your soul is more like a consciousness or a state of knowing rather than a being with some other form somewhere in a far away distance galaxy or dimension.  In fact your soul is here now informing your mind and body and organizing your life, whether you are aware of it or not.  It is the intelligence that knows.  It is the knower.  It is the actual you rather than the person human you that you think you are.  There is nowhere that your soul is not.

Part of having the human experience is about being unaware of the architect.  Even though to some aspect of consciousness the architect is blatantly obvious, to human consciousness it is not.  Yet we are now moving into a time of evolving beyond human.  Human is simply one stage of consciousness, one platform of learning, of which there are infinite platforms.  Humanness is not the be all end all.  It is not the top of the hierarchy.  Our consciousness and thus perceptibility is expanding to see what else is here that we have not been able to see before.  

Waking up means to become aware of the next level of consciousness that comes after human.  Rather than being asleep to yourself you start to recognize yourself.  Rather than experience being the thing that takes up the entire screen of your focus and attention, the shift is made to the experiencer, to the soul.  The focus is turned inward and then outward rather than simply outwardly focused.  This is the recognition of the soul’s journey.  Through this recognition you become enspirited, meaning you remember that you are spirit and not a body and that you have never been a body.  Life returns to you.  Memory returns.  You are no longer lost to yourself.  The aliveness of everything, even of the densest matter, is easily recognized.  What we call form, appearance or experience is simply vibrational packets of consciousness that organize themselves according to the information contained within.  This all becomes common sense, common knowledge, and common experience.  

The cracking open and breaking down of the perpetual mental fixations on thoughts (aka things) takes us out of solidity and into fluidity.  Through fluidity we can merge and go beyond the rules and structures that keep us locked inside of the human mind.  As we destabilize our sense of the self as merely human the world follows suit and destabilizes right with our awareness even if it looks the same to others within it.  As they recognize themselves the appearance of the world will change for them as well.  As we each individually and collectively recognize ourselves enspirited, as more than human and not as experience, but as the creator of experience the world re-stabilizes into something else entirely. 

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

UN-CONDITION THE SPACE OF YOU

UN-CONDITION THE SPACE OF YOU

Birthplace of programs, patterns & conditions 

Often in spiritual circles we talk about deprograming or de-conditioning ourselves from the programs and conditions we’ve learned, which are either untrue or don’t serve us any longer.  Much of our personal work and development is focused on dismantling these patterns that create inauthentic ways of being, so that ultimately we can simply be ourselves just as we are with nothing added or subtracted.  In fact much, if not all of our suffering, stems from disconnection from ourselves (i.e. not knowing ourselves) and then attempting to be someone or something out of that sense of disconnected emptiness.  This creates the entire gamut of patterns, programs, strategies and conditions that come along with attempting to be someone or something other than what we nakedly and innately are.  

What are these programs, patterns and conditions really made up of?  All patterns are simply made up out of thought.  Those thoughts inform, direct and mold the forms and behaviors that you see and experience.  The root of thoughts are beliefs, the root of belief is perspective, and the root of perspective is simply perception or the ability to perceive.  So the fact that you can perceive (i.e. that you are aware) creates a perspective or lens from which beliefs, thoughts and forms are birthed or brought into creation.  Each level back is less conditioned or patterned.  Forms are the most conditioned or patterned, thoughts a little less so, beliefs even less so, perspectives less so than beliefs, and pure perception/awareness is the least conditioned.  This is why as people become more steeped in pure awareness (which is the most refined or primordial essence or substance if you want to call it that) the more transparent they become.  Transparent in actual form, less fixated in thought, and less biased and strongly held in their beliefs.  This is the space of what all of the work of de-conditioning or deprogramming brings us all directly into contact with and ultimately shifts our sense of identity.  

See when we are fixated on the body and the thoughts in our head we think ourselves to be a separate human being, that becomes our identity.  Be clear that separate human being is just a thought.  When we start to recognize the beliefs that create the thoughts and forms, we see ourselves as less and less separate as we begin to be able to change our thoughts and see the direct impact of that change on our physical world.  This makes us feel less separate from and more a part of or interconnected, so our identity is more like a web of beings rather than just a separate individual being.  When the beliefs become clearer and clearer and lighter and lighter we open into the recognition of perspective, which is like the lens through which light is focalized.  Here our identity is that of what I would call the soul or higher self.  We realized our selves beyond a linear timeline seeing our entire trajectory or journey forward, backward and now.  Until finally even the lens is transcended and all that remains is pure light or pure awareness, which is non-localized, spacious, all encompassing and all pervasive.  Here identify is just one, one beingness, which is what I call the God state.   

BEING UNCONDITIONAL SPACE

Giving the gift that you are

Now that we are clear on how conditions arrive in the first place we can easily see that as we track our way back to the source of it all we arrive in that unconditional, non-localized, all pervasive space of ourselves.  This is the purest state of being possible and it is your true self; it is what and who you are.  (Side note: There is a traversing beyond beingness itself which is to remove yourself completely from creation. It is quite advanced and another transition all together which I will not address in this article.)

When you know yourself as God, or as pure awareness, the space of you is unconditioned.  This means that anything and everything is possible as no conditions are set and no programmed responses have been decided or determined.  It also means that anything that interacts with this unconditional space has an opportunity to see, remember and know itself clearly.  For example say that there is a group of 5 sitting in a room and one of those in the group has recognition of the unconditional space that they are and they’re completely rested in that knowingness.  Through the restedness they have in themselves, in what they are, they naturally and effortlessly emit that and it becomes the container of the group or room.  What will then organically occur is that any beings that are present in that group who are more transparent in their form, thoughts, beliefs and perspective will naturally and effortlessly meet that awareness.  To whatever degree one is transparent in self will be the degree to which they can meet that awareness.  Of course that awareness does not stop at the container of the four walls and therefore has opportunity to be picked up by any and all open enough to become coherent with it.

When no conditions are set and no programmed responses have been decided or determined God just simply is and moves.  This is where we recognize that self-organizing principle of life that does itself by itself.  Our heart flies open and moves towards God, merging into that source of what it is through the recognition of itself.  If we are still fused with our thoughts including our worries, concerns, plans for our future and such, than we may try to define it, put it in a box, label it, force it somehow, or figure it out, but when we are beyond the box of our thoughts we simply allow it and recognize it as God and eventually as ourselves.  

To un-condition yourself, which is simply to remember yourself, is the biggest gift and really the only gift any of us have to give.  The giving being inherent and naturally occurring, you couldn’t stop it even if you tried.  Your thoughts, actions, behaviors, and movements are all seamlessly in God as God.  Nothing being out of flow or coherence.  Not acting as the person you, but from the knowingness of what is prior to it all.  

It all boils down to what you desire and where you place your focus.  Do you desire to play in the world of forms, manipulating and achieving, moving from here to there, feeling like you have purpose in a particular way and hoping to find peace and happiness once everything settles into place?  If so you will not have the penetrative power that you need to break through the layers of your own mind.  Do you desire to know yourself, know the truth and know God and is that your one and only sole desire that you seek at the expense of all else realizing there will never be an external settling into place or peace and happiness found in anything you do, achieve or accomplish?  If so you will have the fuel that you need to realize yourself and so it will be.  You then become the gift that you’ve been all along and your radiance touches all.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis and Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

STABILITY IN THE MYSTERY

STABILITY IN THE MYSTERY

End your avoidance of the unknown

Let’s face it, life is one big fat mystery.  No matter how much we create meaning, define, categorize, label, plan, coordinate and directionalize our lives, at the core none of us have any real clue as to what this thing called life really is or what is going to happen next.  We spend an awful, and I mean awful, amount of energy attempting to navigate, predict and strategize the next move and the next move, juggling the pieces and the parts, so that nothing falls between the cracks or goes contrary to the plan.  Mind you those cracks and plan interferences are the one and only place that we can actually get a taste of the true mysterious nature of life rather than this self-architected, controlled chaos that we’ve attempted to create and which we call life.  The cracks, which we avoid like the plague, are our only real hope of seeing through this illusionary story of the life that we’ve created and deluded ourselves into believing as the one real, true reality.

Why do we avoid the cracks and the plan interferences?  There are a couple reasons.  The first being that we have an assumption that we are right or that the way we see the world is right, so when something occurs that doesn’t seem to fit with what we think should be then we view it as wrong and create a splice or separation in our perspective.  This divide comes with the sense that we need to fix the situation somehow, to right it so that it is no longer wrong.  Life then becomes a constant play of attempting to fix, solve, or correct things so that they align with our “right” perspective.  If things don’t align with our right perspective we suffer, if they do align we feel temporary goodness while silently waiting for the next shoe to drop, or the next problem we need to solve.  Another way to say this is that we avoid the cracks because we have certain internal expectations or stories about life, about our life specifically, what it should look like, feel like, all the things that need to happen or not happen, etc.  If something comes along that interferes with the ideas that we have about our life we often dislike it because we view it as something that shouldn’t be, as a deterrent.  We fail to see that what is happening should be happening just as it’s happening and we attempt to “get our lives back on track” without seeing that our life could never truly be off track.  We avoid the mystery of the thing we view as the “deterrent” brings, because we feel like we don’t know inside the mystery and we fight to get back to the known, which is this proverbial track we think we should be on.  

Clearly this demonstrates how much our minds like to be in the know.  They like to feel like they have a plan, that they know what is going on and where they are going.  They also like to know that certain things will be guaranteed and that there will be some sense of certainty, safety and security in whatever outcome they desire.  The mind is very uncomfortable when it senses that it doesn’t know, doesn’t have a plan or things aren’t guaranteed.  It might feel stupid, scared, confused, lost, limited, disappointed, unsafe, unstable, wrong, ashamed, etc. when it perceives that it doesn’t know what’s going on or where it is going.  This is yet another reason that we avoid the cracks and plan interferences.  When our sense of safety, security, purpose, value, worth and validation is dependent on circumstances (i.e. plans and life occurrences happening or turning out a certain way) then we manipulate, control, effort and at all costs try to make life be what we think it should be.   

ENDING THE STORY OF YOU 

Reunification in God

So really what’s so bad about the mystery?  Well as I’ve described above, from the mind”s perspective the mystery can be completely terrifying.  It is the end of our perceived sense of rightness along with death of the perspective of wrongness, which most of us want desperately to hold on to even though it feels soooo bad.  Feeling safe, secure, stable and comfortable in the world of objects being in a certain place or configuration dissolves.  Instead one must learn to be in a constant state of faith, never ending faith, in which true safety and stability is found.  Living in the mystery can also be the end of feeling that you are on your path or purpose, which is connected to one’s worth and value as a person.  I will make a side note here that a person first does need to develop a sense of individual purpose and worth, which is often achieved through their capacity to make things happen in the physical manifest world in a particular way.  This is a stage of ego/self development and an important one.  However what I am pointing to here in this article is the next stage where that illusionary sense of worth, that has been derived based on one’s capacity to make things happen, is ready to be seen through and transcended so that true inherent worth and value can be known.

Coming face to face with the mystery and deciding to stay there without trying to make something permanent takes your willingness to end your story about life.  Most people are not ready to end their story.  The story, the thoughts, the concepts, and the ideas is where most humans hang out.  Its fantastical, with ups and down, highs and lows, drama and boredom, creation and destruction, and although it seems very real from the mind’s perspective, it’s ultimately unreal and simply all made up in your head.  The mind has a great capacity to make things appear very real, very physical, very solid, and it is only through finding your way through your mind by falling into the cracks and going with the plan interferences that the seeming realness can reveal its un-realness to you.   

The beauty of the mystery is that it is the birthplace of infinite energy and infinite possibilities.  It is prior to form or manifestation.  As you trek forward in your development and awareness of self, in a way you are actually trekking back, back to the beginning, to the more primordial state of being.  At some point you realize that there is no forward or back but rather that everything is occurring right now.  This is presence.  This is having arrived.  Arriving is not stagnant or stationary but it is stable.  Stable not in the made up world of appearances and ideas, but in its knowing of it’s self.  The more allowing you are of the mystery the more stable you are in your true self.  To not have to know anything in particular, but instead to move into knowingness itself, which ironically is the mystery, brings the freedom of being beyond a separate person living for its survival, protection, importance and worth.

This is the beginning of life not being about you, not being about your plan, your goals, your wants, your desires, your dreams, your problems, your needs, your perceived purpose, your perspectives or your anything.  This ending of your personal life opens you into the space of God, of infinite intelligence and energy, and an unwavering stability in the mysterious unfolding of this thing we call creation or life.  As no longer a separate object in a universe you move with and as, rather than making up stories about what is.  Nothing recognized as separate, disconnected or wrong.  No attachment to what you think should be.  You realize movement and stability as one in the same as they arise out of each other.  Yes this is a seeming death of sorts, a complete dis-identification with everything you think of as you and which makes you who you think you are.  At some point all consciousness will arrive here, however your choice to consciously and deliberately choose the end of your perceived self-importance will accelerate your return to unity.  To join with God again in consciousness, in awareness, is to remember yourself.  All that is required is the end of the separate personal you who thinks its living a life for its own and even for others betterment.  In truth there is no such thing.  There is no you and there is no others.  There is only God being and God expressing.  There has never been anything else.  Everything else has been made up.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Abundance as the Natural State

ABUNDANCE AS THE NATURAL STATE

Focusing on what is

So much we are focused on what isn’t.  We spend our energy thinking about all the things that we desire as if they are somehow lacking now with the aspiration that we will attain them at some future date.  This is the near constant game that our mind’s play on us.  It goes something like this.  Look out at the manifestation of this thing that we call physical reality.  See how there are certain things not in your visual or mental perspective that you would like to see or believe are there.  Things such as cars, houses, clothes, friendships, partnerships, children, jobs, degrees, money, vacations, etc.  Decide that at some future date those things will be there.  Work to achieve said things until they arrive at future date.  Become happy when things arrive and become sad when they don’t arrive.  In many ways this sums up our human existence.  

While exciting at first, or exciting when you are feeling successful, living simply to achieve your desires is temporary unsustainable happiness that is dependent on what is showing up being in alignment with what you think should be there.  Read that sentence again until it really sinks in.  What if there is another way to live besides for the achievement of your desires?  Would you be willing to stop focusing on what is missing from your experience and trying to get something from it that you perceive isn’t there?  Many people might initially say yes however when it comes to implementation, follow through is often poor.  We are addicted to focusing on what we think isn’t there and such our experience is one of lack, followed by effort and trying, and feeling only success if we can somehow get the thing to appear to us.  This is the cycle of suffering.

You might be thinking how do I not perceive lack when clearly I can’t perceive the thing that I want as being in my direct experience.  First I will say that your focus on it not being here is all that keeps it from being perceivable to you and what pushes it away or keeps it out from your direct experience.  Mostly we are unaware that we are even doing this, however whatever we insist upon will be what we experience even when we are unconscious as to what it is that we are insisting upon.  Something to entertain to help you open up your perspective is the recognition that somewhere what you desire exists.  It is not out of creation, it just simply is not directly here now.  This perspective can be a bridge for you until you can more fully rest in the abundance of is-ness itself and begin to slowly shift your focus on what is rather than what isn’t.  If you fully shift your focus solely onto what is, even if only for a few seconds, the abundance of life as the natural state will be evidently clear. 

COMPLETENESS OF ISNESS

Want nothing to be different than it is

Due to that fact that most all of us think that the goal of life is to achieve our desires and then die we completely miss the fact of our own existence.  We place most of our attention on the stuff of life and very little, if any, attention on the fact that we exist, that we be, that we are, and so we are unfamiliar with ourselves or with is-ness.  Simply is-ness is.  Is-ness is before any forms or before anything takes shape in our perceptible and sensorial experience.  Recognizing is-ness is the recognition of completion, abundance and the natural state prior to phenomena.  

You may wonder how you can more fully pay attention to the fact that you exist.  The easiest way that I have found is to set yourself in the attitude of not wanting anything to be different than it is.  When you stop resisting what is, either through giving up your focus on what is not or by directly surrendering to your conflict with whatever the appearances are that are showing up for you in any given moment, you are left only with is-ness.  That pure state of beingness before thought forms emerge which begin to inform your experience.  In addition to not wanting anything to be different than it is, is also not wanting anything from anything.  In this way you end your desires to get something from anything.  When you do this you will see how much of your energy and attention it takes to engage in life by trying to get something that you perceive you want, think will benefit you, keep you safe or ensure your survival.  Once suspended, all of that energy and attention that was bound up in getting, can then be redirected into the pure focus on your beingness rather than on trying to somehow manipulate life to your liking.

What I am pointing to here is quite simple in application, so it begs the question as to why we don’t follow through.  Why do we stop ourselves even before we try?  Why do we want so much to hold onto our perspective of lack which leads to effort and trying rather than surrender to life and experience the abundance of it?  First the mind doesn’t like simplicity.  It wants it to be more complicated than that so it will do its best to try and complicate and confuse things for you.  Two, we often think that our desires and preferences are more important than they actually are, so we don’t want to give them up.  We confuse our desires, preferences and what we think should be (rather than what is) for self-empowerment and therefore think we need to justly fight or stand up for what we want.  When we don’t get what we want, or achieve what we want, we feel cheated or somehow worthless or not valuable.  It’s hard for our egos to swallow the fact that they really aren’t that important.  That what we want isn’t that important and often not even relevant.  It feels like a punch in the stomach, or a death of sorts, like everything you thought was so important no longer being so.  This is the beginning of the dis-identification of the ego as you and the surrender into the god state where you come to know the real you.  

Lastly we’ve confused our happiness, joy, bliss, safety, security and ok-ness to be locked up in something seemingly out there so we keep trying to get it from out there somewhere, in circumstances and conditions.  It will never be found there because conditions always change.  What doesn’t change is you, is is-ness.  Is-ness always is.  It doesn’t come and go.  It is the stability in the ever changing sea of appearances.  Lock onto that instead and you will know yourself and what true sustainable abundant, bliss, joy, freedom and safety is.  No more will you need to seek it out in the world of appearances. When you arrive here you will begin to see that your necessity to make things happen through the physical lessens and your more formless nature will be more real than the form.  Greater ease and effortless doing naturally emerges.  You become more in agreement with God, with the real you, and that alignment, though death to your ego, will set you free.  That is divine union.  That is mergence with God.  That is the return of oneness remembering itself.  My best advice is to stop being so stubborn and just let God be as God is and you will discover everlasting peace.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

LEFT OUT OF THE GLORY OF GOD

LEFT OUT OF THE GLORY OF GOD

Denying your Divinity

The primary drive of our soul is to remember and reunite with ourselves.  Most have completely forgotten their truest essence and only think or know conceptually what spirit is.  We have built up layers of beliefs (aka defenses) that perpetuate the experience of disconnection and separation from our goodness and the glory of God.  What do I mean by glory of God?  Simply the purest, most distilled, refined and inherently perfect and good true nature of ourselves.  We are God, we are the Creator, we are the perfection of all that is expressed through this human form, and yet we deny, push away or resist this thus resisting ourselves and creating a lived reality of suffering, pain and disconnection.

The spiritual journey is the remembering, reclaiming and reuniting with that which we already are and have always been.    You have never ever been anything but God expressed through a myriad of various forms, whose form is currently this human body.  The beliefs that keep you in resistance and denial to fully knowing this operate ever so subtlety underneath your conscious awareness.  This is why it is important to never stop seeking to know yourself.  To commit full heartedly to the journey over and over and over again, as without your devoted commitment you postpone the remembering of yourself.

Why do we resist what we are?  Why do we resist that we are good, pure and perfect?  Simply because we don’t believe it.  That’s it.  Its really that simple.  We don’t believe it.  Why don’t we believe it?  We don’t believe it because people, who also don’t know themselves, who don’t know their inherently perfect divine self, have conditioned our thinking mind-matrix to be in alignment with theirs.  We’ve agreed, consciously or not, to abide by others rules and stories so that we fit in with them, so that our needs and wants are taken care of and so that we aren’t left out.  In choosing to not feel left out on a societal and relational level we have given away our own true knowing of ourselves.  Anything that feels like it might threaten our basic human needs or wants for resources, love or connection takes precedence over divine connection.  To accept or believe that we are good, perfect, divine and complete throws a wrench into our entire internal system and threatens everything we think we know and everything we think we need. 

BEING THE CREATOR

Self-Empowered

We hear so much these days that we are the creator, but is this something that we just say in spiritual circles to feel cool or do we really, really get it.  Do we really get just how powerful we are or do we still think that our lives are happening to us kind of randomly?  Many people think they are more self-empowered than they actually are.  By in large people are living disempowered even if they are doing and saying all of the right things and in all the right spiritual communities.  Only if you are fully rested in your perfect wholeness and without personal bias are you truly self-empowered.  

We tend to view a self-empowered person as one who is manifesting everything they want and living in alignment with their personal dreams.  What this tends to look like is having an aligned job, standing up for all the right causes, having a healthy body, having seamless relational dynamics, and having all of your desires (physical and nonphysical) met. Many, many strive for this, and while it is a step on the developmental ladder, it is not full self-empowerment.  Full self-empowered living is not about having the perfect spiritual appearance of life, its about knowing that you are complete perfection no matter what.  

Being fully self-empowered paradoxically has very little to do with you at the personality-physical expression level at all, even though this is what we tend to associate it with.  To be truly self-empowered is to recognize that your personal preferences, desires and life, while relatively important for this moment in space-time, have very little ultimate importance.  This may sting a little at first thought as you might want to hold onto your personal agendas, significance and righteousness.  Feelings of confusion, aimlessness or directionlessness that are along the lines of “well if I’m not that, or this thing I care about isn’t important, than what/who am I” may also arise.  This is not the ultimate goal however as we let go of the limited perspective of self with limited power, which is often all we’ve ever known up to this point, we enter a mysterious emptiness that is frequently uncomfortable and disturbing to the personality mind that likes to always be in the know. 

Many are suffering because they are placing too much attention and giving too much significance to their small selves.  In my opinion this is actually an epidemic in personal growth and spiritual communities.   Yes we want practices and skills to dismantle the beliefs that keep us separate and keep us out of our true glory as God, yet frequently we don’t realize that this means that ultimately we have to let go of this idea that we have of a separate, disconnected and worthless self all together.  Its funny that we often don’t realize this end goal if you will to personal growth work.  That we must divorce or break up with our thoughts/beliefs that insist on our lack of complete perfection and goodness.  To not do so and to continue to insist on your worthlessness, is actually a selfishly arrogant act that sucks the energy and life out everything around it and postpones your joy and happiness.  To deny, push away, or resist that which you are, is energy depleting for you and all around you.  The fastest way to self-empowerment and self-knowing is to stop insisting that you suck.  

We are not a separate entity/person no matter how much appearances seem that way.  There is no such thing.  We could not be disconnected from God if we tried.  We are one, we are God, no division, no separation.  To be self-empowered means to love self and know self as Love.  There is no higher commitment than to be fully devoted to that knowing.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Being Forgiveness

BEING FORGIVENESS 

Resistance, wrongness & righteousness

What is forgiveness? What would it be like to live and be forgiveness?  In a nutshell forgiveness is the dissolution of charge.  It is resolution.  It is the allowing of what is to be as it is.  It’s the opening of one’s self, or one’s system, to that which it had previously withdrawn or removed itself from.  It is the end of insistence on your rightness and the washing away of your biases.  It is the return to non-separation.  It is instantaneous peace, freedom and bliss.

Forgiveness is the gateway into everything that we desire.  Forgiveness of self, other and all.  Ultimately to forgive, no matter what it seems like we are forgiving, is to come out of an erroneous perspective that we’ve been holding onto and into the truth.  That is why we always feel clearer and better after we forgive, because we are seeing from a perspective that is in greater alignment with the truth of what is.  The truth always feels better to us.  

Why do we not instantly move from suffering, charge or being stuck in a perspective into forgiveness?  Really we could at any moment choose this instantaneous transformation yet most of us don’t because we are too busy continuing our fight (internal or external) with what is.  Resistance is a tricky thing and hard for most of us to see in ourselves.  Sometimes we can feel the effects of our inner resistance as tension or pain in the body, but often we don’t make the connection that the stress, tension or pain we feel is part of our own inner resistance to something that is.  We attempt to address these effects that we feel in our body (i.e. tension or pain), but without going to the core and looking at what it is that we are in resistance to in the first place.  This is an endless chase that resolves nothing and provides only temporary relief.  

We also hate feeling wrong so we will fight to the end to prove, justify, and validate why something or someone else’s behavior, action or perspective is wrong and we are right.  When we go to the depths of wrongness it often brings a sense of inner shame and the pushing away of ourselves from ourselves.  It is the experience of self-resistance rather than self-love.  The proving or justifying that we do in order to not feel shame or self-rejection may be expressed subtly inside our own thoughts and mind and or it may be expressed more externally through the pushing away of certain people or things in our life.  The more righteous and insistent we are on our viewpoint the more we will suffer and the longer we delay the peace and freedom we desire.  The insistence of the rightness of our perspective and the wrongness of another’s is the prime reason why we don’t forgive. 

KNOW THYSELF 

Free will to forgive

When we live in a state of resistance or non-forgiveness we are withdrawing our love from certain aspects of creation.  There is no greater pain than to withdraw our love and put up energetic walls between self and other.  This is to live disconnected and experience separation, suffering, helplessness and powerlessness.  The only way to experience and know your power and live in connection is to be willing to put down your guards, dissolve your illusionary walls of self-protection and be rested open in a state of forgiveness of all.  True power comes from the heart and from not needing to push away any part of your experience.  When you can fully receive all of your experience you have won your internal battle and have mastered yourself.  This is what it is to be forgiveness.  

It is important to remember that you can choose this at any moment and in any experience.  Your free will to forgive can never be compromised by anyone other than yourself.  To choose and live moment to moment forgiveness opens up a portal of sorts in your beingness to infinite energy and intelligence.  You become agenda-less and therefore have access to the infinite wisdom and love that you are.  Your very essence serves you and all of creation.  

Some people may feel scared to put down their walls and drop their guards.  They may not yet know the power of love or be rested in the support that comes with it.  They may fear getting hurt, feeling pain, or being vulnerable or susceptible to attack- whether that attack is from others or self.  This is an indication of trying to control or manage life (rather than be present with and open to it) by attempting to push away or prevent certain feelings, sensations or experiences.  This is part of the inner resistance I was mentioning above and it can be tricky to see in ourselves because it is so engrained in the way that we operate.  In fact we often confuse our walls, guards and protection mechanisms as ourselves, as who we think we are, when really they are simply the aspects that interfere with or cloud our ability to truly see and know ourselves.  

Dismantling the resistance that we have built inside of our own selves opens us into love, which is our essence and true nature.  When we don’t yet know love we feel disconnected from our power because love is the ultimate power and the ultimate protector.  Inherent in love is everything we could ever want or need.  Love illuminates, invites, includes and is fiercely coherent in its capacity to organize everything into it.  Love leaves nothing out.  

Forgiveness is our be-line into ourselves.  It is the fastest way, the accelerated path, to knowing ourselves.  Know Thyself is one of, if not the prime tenet of all wisdom traditions.  Forgiveness is its key.  Use it if you so desire to move as quickly as possible into the light or your own consciousness.  God is none other than the clearest, most perfected perspective of yourself.  Clear the canvas of your mind and come to know yourself in what remains.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration

Bliss

Bliss

Ecstasy of being

Who doesn’t desire more bliss? The pure joy and ecstasy of simply being.  Whether we seek bliss through objects, relationships, service work, recreation, nature, food or other means, we all hunger for it.  Its at the root of what drives all of our meditation, personal growth work and willingness to dismantle our programmed sense of self.  Ironically bliss, which is very thing that we are, which we claim to desire more than anything else, is the very thing that we give away a million times a day.  

Why is it that we give bliss, which again is our essential nature or self, away so often?  Why is it that other things seem more important than bliss and therefore reign as primary in our day to day experience.  To begin many people do not realize that they are in charge of themselves.  What I mean by this is that most people are significantly disempowered and are unaware that they are deciding their life.  They believe that life is random, including their emotional states, and they just hope that they wake up on any given day and feel good.  With this lack of awareness of self there is the appearance that circumstances decide for you and that there really is nothing you can do about it.  When we disown our power in this way we fail to see any responsibility or accountability that we have for our self and our state of being.  We therefore hope for something great, magical, or some object/person that we desire to come along and fix us or make things perfect and right, and we become part of the circumstance rather than the creator of it.

Outside of lack of awareness of self and the disownment of our power what things interfere with us choosing bliss moment to moment?  One of the prime things that interferes is our minds need to know what’s happening or where things are going and our attachment to things or outcomes.  When we desire a thing or outcome more than we desire bliss, then the thing or outcome is what is in charge and no longer is bliss center stage.  Often we fear loss of an object/outcome or even loss of the thought of an object/outcome, because we have confused the object/outcome with our state of bliss.  

If bliss had an enemy, which it doesn’t, but if it did, its enemy would be certainty.  Nothing compresses, flattens, and attempts to put bliss in a box more than the our mind’s perceived need for certainty.  Uncertainty is bliss’s playground while certainty is the mind’s.  Nothing is certain until you decide on it.  Take great care and attention to what it is you decide on as that will be your experience. 

Bliss Beyond Beliefs 

Allowing bliss to reign

There are umpteen million beliefs that interfere with bliss.  They are along the lines of thinking you don’t deserve it, can’t have/be it, impossible to live in at all times, its not real, bliss is only for some people, its not enough, its impractical, its more important to be right, tragedy can’t be blissful, bliss is not sustainable, too many things are wrong in me, too many things are wrong in the world, bliss is circumstantial, it’s only for sometimes, can’t be blissful for no reason, can’t be blissful if other people aren’t… and the list goes on and on.  These are our roadblocks in bliss.  Imagine a road that is made of pure bliss that goes on forever and ever.  Now imagine that every 10 feet there is red light.  All of those red lights are your interfering beliefs that arise and pause your experience of bliss.  The more red lights on your road the less you get to experience the road.  

When we do the work of investigating our beliefs we have fewer and fewer red lights on our road.  This is a worthwhile journey, though arduous and seemingly unending at times.  This begs the question as to if there is a more accelerated way to reclaiming bliss.  Can we in one full swoop be fully rested as bliss here and now in this human experience?  The short answer is absolutely yes.  What’s required is to see bliss inside of every single face, circumstance and experience no matter what is appearing.  In essence replacing everything you perceive with its actual true state, which is bliss.  This brings you into correct seeing, and it is a tall order for most people.  Hence the arduous path of self-inquiry and investigation is often needed.  

Why bliss you might ask?  Well outside the fact that it’s your natural state, it is also what makes things come alive, organizes and reorganizes forms, is self-intelligent, and not to mention feels A-MA-ZING!  There has never been a moment when I regretted being rested and moved by and as bliss.  It is the dismantler of all untruth, the dissolver of all inauthenticity, the lover all expressions, the breaker of chains, the wise one, the mover, the knower.  It’s the portal into your most absolute self.  So really a better question to ask is why not bliss?  

When you give away all of your insistences, biases, and attachments to people, objects, and outcomes, bliss is more and more revealed to you and becomes more and more your direct experience of reality.  The greater your willingness to give away your roadblocks and red lights and give into the bliss that is already here the more you will enjoy your human experience.  The more purposeful you will feel even if you “do” nothing.  The ease with which you will be able to engage on relational levels with other people will increase.  The fears and thoughts that once crippled you will be no more.  Everything you perceive will look more inviting to you.  Truly when you give everything over to bliss is the first time that you can genuinely serve or care.  To be without agenda or attachment to outcome is to allow love to simply be and move as it so intelligently is organized to do.

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado   

Your Heart is the Knower

Your Heart is the Knower

The Mind is not the Knower

So often we move about our lives trying to figure out what things means, preparing and plotting our next action steps and attempting to find answers to all of our questions about this mysterious universe.  We have a tendency to feel safer if we can make meaningful sense of things, find answers to our questions or have some type of clear direction that we can comfortably take.  Being in uncertainty, the unknown or the ever present present moment tends to feel too unstable for us and we seek for solidity in our thoughts or the physical universe.  

Why is it that we attempt to create safety through our minds perceived sense of knowing?  The most direct answer is because we think that we are our thoughts.  We are identified as our thoughts and believe that we are separate distinct entities disconnected from a larger knowingness.  If we were connected to a larger knowingness of ourselves we would never for even one second attempt to use our minds to create certainty, stability and a sense of knowing. Due to the fact that being veiled from the larger truth of ourselves is part of this human experience and learning, we seek for some solid ground through our thoughts because that is what is most accessible to us.  

Despite what you may think your mind is not the knower.  Your mind is simply a thinker.  It produces thoughts but does not know from where they come.  The knower is larger than or beyond the level or your mind.  If we step back and look at this from the perspective of levels of development we will see that development evolves from physical body (the survivor), to emotional body (the reactor), to mental body (the thinker) and then into soul (the heart).  Many humans right now are waking up, if you will, to level of soul, but it is not the natural default for most.  Rather mind and thoughts is the default and hence why we seem to perpetually come back to trying to figure things out as if we are separate object in a universe of separate objects that all act independent of each other and don’t share information or energy between them.  

When the mind is in charge it tries very hard to do, to figure out, to know and to make happen.  The mind also likes to make things difficult and complex where there isn’t difficulty or complexity.  It is the great confuser.  Yet the more confused we feel the more we try to think our way through it and end up in the vicious loop of which there is no way out.  The only way to find our way through is make contact with that which knows.  The gateway to the knower is through the heart.  The language with which the heart speaks is not with thoughts but instead with the energy vibration of love.  Leaning into this language is the clearer of all confusion and recognition of non-separateness.  

Getting to Know the Knower

Language of Love

Why is it seem so hard to lean into the heart?  Why do we look for something other than the language of love?  First things first.  Many of us have layers of protection around our heart-soul body making it difficult to even make contact with it.  These layers exist due to pains that we experience in our lives.  Most of us don’t consciously close ourselves off, it is simply the defensive nature of our nervous systems to protect us when we feel any type of pain, which is quite common on this human journey.  When this protective response gets activated its puts us in our more primitive bodies which are the physical, emotional and mental bodies.  Even though the mind is more complex in organization then the physical or emotional body it is still a more primitive body than that of the soul/heart body.  

Many people live their entire life in a mostly protected, defended state and are very functional and contribute great things to the world.  They have friends and families, successful careers or businesses and belong to communities.  Most people have no idea that they are living in a state of protection, that is until life brings them a situation which seems outside of what they can handle.  This is often loss in any of it forms.  Loss of loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of purpose, loss of health, loss of function of some part of the body, loss of resources, etc.  These experiences of loss are the biggest catalyst/activator that we have to evolve, wake up to more of ourselves and become undefended, and yet we tend to see them as catastrophic.  Many people don’t see how these situations are pushing them into growth and they stay focused solely on the loss.  

This brings me to language of the heart which is love and why we tend to not listen to it or see it as the knower.  When the mind is running the show of our lives we want linear, logical and mentally sound answers.  To the mind love seems too fluffy or like its not enough.  We often feel like we need more than just love.  We need hard, concrete, physical answers and quite frankly love doesn’t seem to be powerful enough for all of that.  So we seek and search for an answer that we can make sense out of rather than directly experiencing the all knowingness that comes with love.  We choose effort, fight and resistance over ease, grace and acceptance.  Why make it easy when we can make it hard and treacherous instead.  

The reason why most people have this perception of love as not quite powerful enough, or simply not enough, is because they have only experienced love for fleeting moments at a time.  Their baseline experience has not been such where love has been the primary experience day in and out for years or decades at a time.  In fact people rarely experience nothing but love all day long for even a single day at at time.  That which we experience more often tends to speak louder and we tend to place more belief and value in it.  Hence why our thoughts dominate and we tend to rely on them as that which knows best.  

Our heart is the knower.  Its doesn’t think, it knows.  When we lean into the heart, doubt dissolves and clear seeing is revealed.  There is no longer anything to figure out.  We realize that love is not only enough, but it is the organizer of everything and essence of our very nature.  Here is where the mysteries resolve themselves and the present moment comes alive as our direct experience.  There are no problems in love, nothing to fix or solve, there is only the pure knowing of the perfection that is and the playing out of that in all the myriad of forms.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado

Opening into Nothingness

Opening into Nothingness 

Going beyond thought

Stars and material falls into a black holeWhether you are aware of it or not opening into stark nothingness is terrifying for most.  We both hunger to feel emptiness and instantaneously grab onto the next thing or thought the moment we taste even the slightest sliver of nothingness.  We are so bound up in our thoughts, worries, ideas, activities and the like that few of us even get a glimpse of what it feels like to experience total emptiness.  The irony is that emptiness is our natural state of being and yet most of us have never experienced it.  

Emptiness or nothingness is what is prior to or before thought arrives on the scene.  When thought does arrive it creates and colors the world that we see and what we call reality.  Reality for most people is just a conglomeration of their thoughts.  True reality however is completely without thought.  It simply is.  Pure beingness.  Awareness itself.  Why is it that we are so terrified of our natural state of pure beingness?  Well firstly it is because there is no separate, individual self in nothingness.  This means that the you that you think is you, let’s call this the “thought” you, dissolves into nothing.  There is no you in the traditional sense that you’ve come to know.  This feels completely destabilizing to the one you think you are (often people describe it as the feeling of death) and so the reaction-response is to fuse back with thought to feel a sense of stability again.  

Secondly in order to even taste nothingness we must be in a state of total openness and acceptance.  We cannot be attempting to make something happen, figure anything out or control something with our head/thoughts.  All of these put us in a state of resistance or closure, which equates to creating the experience of separation or otherness.  You cannot know nothingness from a state of perceiving otherness.  Many people however try to do this and nothingness becomes another box or container for their mind to explore rather than directly know.  In order to truly experience nothingness you must fuse with it thus becoming it rather than continuing to fuse with thoughts.  

When you make the commitment to open your system and let go of thoughts rather than continue to use your thoughts to figure out how to open your system, you will begin to know the beingness and the world beyond thought.  You cannot get beyond thought through using thought.  You must relinquish the thoughts altogether less your awareness will habitual continue to latch onto them out of familiarity and comfort.   

The End of Otherness 

Surrender into the Self

relationshipsAs we approach nothingness from a still separate point of view some of the experiences that we have are centered around feeling like we won’t know, that we will be totally useless, that we will be completely exposed or vulnerable, that if our mind/thoughts don’t inform us then what will, and above all we doubt because we don’t yet know what is on the other side of our thoughts.  We don’t perceive that we can trust that nothingness will provide and contains everything that is known and needed.  

The only way to really work with this is to allow yourself to feel the energy of all of these states of being that arise.  That means allowing the feeling of not knowing what is or will happen next which brings in the felt experience of trust, feeling exposed and vulnerable which brings in the direct experience of openness, feeling the spacious empty nothingness that is without thoughts which brings in the direct knowing of yourself.  See we often say we want to trust, or we want to be more open, or we want to more clearly and directly know ourselves and we think that we have to do something or figure something out in order to do it.  The truth is that trust, openness and knowledge of self come through you staying with those feeling experiences that you keep trying to avoid which just happen to be trust, openness and knowledge of self.  The direct path to what we desire is always inside of what we are currently experiencing.

To know ourselves, which is the final destination of the spiritual journey, is really just the beginning of life.  Before we know ourselves we are just trying to survive because all we perceive is separation and the fight for our physical needs, desires and existence.  If we have something than it means someone else does not have it and vis versa.  When we perceive otherness someone or something always wins and the other loses.  We fight to save live from the perspective of our eminent demise as we believe death of the body means death of us.

The end of otherness and the bridge into totality is the surrender into nothingness which is the true self or the true you.  This is to walk willingly into our own personalized ego death.  Ego being that perspective which believes itself to be a part, and apart from, rather than the whole.  This is the end to personalization of our lives and the unbending trajectory of the individual needs, wants and desires.  To be clear this does not mean death of the body, but to the perspective that body means separate from.  There is no separate you.  There never has been.  There has only ever been the thought of a separate you.  Separate you is just a thought.  When you relinquish all thought, even for a moment, you immediately realize this.  This is the direct experience and knowledge of self.  This takes you beyond the concept of you to where you no longer perceive other and the will of this body-mind instrument is divinely inspired and moved.  Personal insistences have dissolved and all that remains is God/Love/Spirit of which these vehicles are gladly utilized.  “Your” will becomes Love’s will as there is but one will.  

Dr. Amanda Hessel, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado