PAIN OF NOT EMBRACING PERFECTION
Disagreeing with the universe
In the spiritual growth community we are all so busy working on ourselves. Attempting to do it right by clearing our trauma, healing our wounds and purifying ourselves to ever more refined versions of ourselves. While we are engaged in this journey towards our ultimate remembering and purest expression we often lose sight of the fact that we have never left the innate perfection that we are. Though at times we seem to have disconnected or forgotten this, the truth remains that we could never not be what we are even if it has been temporarily placed out of our sight.
To say or view from the perspective of imperfection creates all the suffering that we could ever imagine, and which we do imagine every single day. Imperfection implies that the intelligence that organizes this universe, including your body, mind and every single little detail of creation, somewhere made a mistake. This is the birthplace of the view of wrongness, error and separation. For certain aspects of creation to be included and others not is an illusion that we perpetuate over and over again which lives inside the idea of imperfection.
Imperfection is simply an idea, a view, a judgment, a perspective. There is no actual truth to it. It’s preference and bias. What one person sees as perfection another sees as imperfect. This occurs infinitely inside of this idea of imperfection. See healing happens the moment that we remember that we are perfect and therefore so is everything else. We may not like what shows up on the screen of life, but that doesn’t alter its perfection. When we get this completely through and through the healing journey ceases because it’s no longer relevant. What is true is remembered and evident is the nature of what is.
This begs the question as to why we hold tight to the perspective of imperfection even when we “get” spiritually that we are perfect. Why don’t we accept our total, complete and absolute perfection right now in this moment and every moment that will ever follow? What exactly are we waiting for? This is a really good question to ask yourself. What stands in the way of you embracing every single aspect of yourself and this entire universe as innately perfect? Do you still think some things are wrong? If so what are those things, and what will it take shift your perspective of them? Whatever it is that you don’t include will stay un-included until you directly and consciously include it. How much longer do you want to wait? How much more suffering do you want to endure? When is it enough? Only you can determine and decide this for yourself.
SELF & OTHER FORGIVENESS
Courage and humility
If there is a tool that bridges this sometimes seemingly gaping gap between perfection and imperfection it is self and other forgiveness. Forgiveness “corrects” the perspective, removes the hate, and ends the insistence on rightness and wrongness. It softens the heart and drops the veil of separation that never was. It ends the roles of victim and victor. It doesn’t negate or say what happened did or didn’t happen, but it clears the slate. No karmic charge, no battle to fight, no war to be won, nothing to prove or justify. Inner & outer peace, harmony and resolution are the effects of forgiveness.
Forgiveness requires courage. Why? Because to open our heart towards what feels hurtful often seems like the wrong direction to our minds. Our minds want to protect us from all pain and that is why we build walls of separation inside of our experiences. It takes bravery to move towards rather than away from these experiences. To let down our walls and allow ourselves to feel instead of continuing to choose the path of self-protection. This must be a very deliberate, conscious choosing on our part. This will not just automatically happen because for most people the default mode is self-defense rather than self-love or other-love. The seeming paradox is that love it the ultimate protector, and not the mind with its defenses which are wired to keep you separate from the rest of creation. To love one’s self (or love other) is to bravely walk into the fire of our own mind and refuse to not allow light of our awareness to shine. To see what we are trying to hold separate, and to feel how much more pain holding separate causes us rather then feeling the hurt that we are resisting. To then choose to feel the pain so that the energy can move through our system and the charge can find its resolution.
Forgiveness requires humility. Why? Because we must end our insistence on rightness/wrongness in order to forgive. To arrive at the place of “I don’t know better than that which organizes this entire universe” is incredibly humbling to the personality we identify ourselves as. People avoid and deny this level of humility at all costs because they want to be right and feel justified in their rightness. What happened happened. What I am I am. No right and no wrong. End of story. End of all stories. The mind hates this. Some people feel this is a permission slip for people to do or get away with “bad” things or to ignore changes that need to be made. I am suggesting neither, but instead to see what is possible through the power of forgiveness. To see what naturally and organically organizes itself into different configurations without force, effort, punishment, or shaming when the true essence of what is is seen, reflected, and given. I dare you.
The power of the heart is stronger, more real and more palpable then any limiting perspective, including that of imperfection. Choosing forgiveness opens the door directly into the heart. Heart leads, mind follows. This is what most all hunger for even if they can’t fully articulate it in this way yet. The only thing standing in the way is your insistence on the idea of imperfection. That’s it. Imperfection really is just a thought and not an actual thing. I know this may be hard for your mind to believe, but its worth investigating and changing this belief for yourself. Your joy and freedom from suffering awaits on the other side of it.
Dr. Amanda Love, Chiropractor, Network Spinal Analysis & Somato-Respiratory Integration, Boulder, Colorado
We are all impacted and influenced by one another.
The energy with which we give things has an effect.
There are four primary types of pain each having their own flavor of expression. Physical pain is the most obvious being that of the production of unpleasant sensations in the the body.
Ultimately we must become the master of this primitive survival response of our nervous system so that we can learn to be present with physical pain rather than consumed by it.
Our state of being (aka consciousness) is always informing this physical form that we call our body.
In the Network system there are 5 primary patterns or ways that the spinal cord stretches/distorts that have been identified.
It is important to remember that none of these patterns are you.
We have all experienced shame.
The root of all shame is lack of awareness of self.
Transformation sometimes comes with this idea that we have to fix these parts of ourselves that are not as resourced.
This is the first real place where choice arises.
All day long we are bombarded with things, people, thoughts, feelings and sensations. Our nervous system is pretty much always taking in information and almost never throughout our day are we completely quiet or empty of these things.
One of our fears about stopping inner or outer activity is that we will not be in as great of service to others. When we begin to value inner stillness it may require us at time to say no to things or not help people when perhaps we think we should be. So we do and we do, and our doing fills a need, a need in us to feel significant through helping others or being productive, yet we also ignore the part of ourselves that actually feels a stronger no than yes at times.
Stress and overwhelm seem to be the norm of everyday life. We go, go, go until something stops us. Sometimes what stops us is pain (physical or emotional), sometimes its sickness, and clearly death will bring us to a complete stop. These “stops” are typically not chosen. Instead they are “given” to us by life, to slow us down, so that ultimately we can wake up and become more conscious to greater degrees.
How do you engage with life being both rested and conscious? Being consciously rested is totally different from unconscious resting. Unconscious resting is what we do to decompress or unwind from the activity or stress of our day or life. However you can learn how to consciously sleep, work, watch TV, and do anything including even die consciously. One of the key questions to ask yourself when resting is are you decompressing, “taking a break” from stressful thoughts or feelings, or are you becoming more present and aware?
Most people are vaguely familiar with the term nervous system. Your nervous system consists of your brain, spinal cord and all of the nerves that come out from your spinal cord. Those nerves extend out and connect to all of your organs, bones, muscles, and cells in your body. Every single thing in your body is in communication with everything else thanks to your nervous system.
Lets relate this to your spinal cord. In its most optimal state of tone-tension it is able to relay messages back and forth between your brain and your body so that you can both receive necessary information from your environment and also take appropriate actions. In essence so that you can be most responsive and adaptive. Health is a state of responsiveness and adaptability. In the case of either too much or not enough tone in your spinal cord, your nervous system cannot relay these messages appropriately, and thus your health begins to deteriorate. As with all things when communication is impaired the system breaks down, so too with your body.
Too much tone is created when you can’t handle the circumstances of your life or you try to control-manage all of the details. This is what people call stress and it creates hyper-vigilance. These people often feel overly sensitive to life as they are in overwhelm. They may feel everyone’s emotions, or only be able to eat certain foods, or need to be particular about their environments. Sometimes they appear ultra functional. Trust is usually challenging for these folks and they may also use substances to calm down or “check out” so that they don’t have to feel as much.
Too little tone is created when you lack passion and desire, or feel unworthy to be your unique expression of life. These people often feel bored, like they aren’t enough and need to seek out more stimulus so that they can feel something, which makes them feel more alive. Its hard for these people to take action, or have breakthroughs, they may feel awkward in movement, and their posture may be more collapsed and appear less confident.
The basic reason we perceive stress (aka fear) is because we believe in wrongness and lack. Pick one thing, anything, that you perceive as stressful and put it in the forefront of your mind right now. It could be the pressure of a deadline for work, the state of your health or a symptom in your body, a disagreement with a friend or spouse, a feeling of responsibility for someone else or a concern about your financial state. In whatever situation you are currently thinking about notice what you think might not “go right”, be lacking in presence or that there will not be enough of. In the examples of above they would be lack of time, health, relationship, resources or money.
Finding your inner source of stability comes from embodying and knowing that no matter what you will be ok. This is where safety to move forward, make new choices and live fully comes from. You must know, feel (not just think) and accept yourself and life no matter what choices you make or don’t make. You must quit judging yourself and life as “good-bad, right-wrong, this or that”. You must be willing to change your perspective of wrongness to one of perfection, even if things don’t look like you want them too. This will activate and stretch the muscle of “ok-ness” inside of yourself. You will begin to relinquish control.